Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Onion AV Club)   30 years ago today: "A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, 'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says--"   (avclub.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, salamis, bartenders, blonde  
•       •       •

8933 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Mar 2014 at 7:48 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-24 05:24:09 PM  
6 votes:
Bethany: Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here?

Jay: Some fark named John Hughes.

Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?

Jay: You know that guy too? That farkin' guy. He made this flick, "16 Candles". Not bad, there's tits in it but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shiat about that kind of thing, 'cause he's like, all in love with this John Hughes guy.

[Silent Bob shakes his head with a "whatever" look on his face]

Jay: He goes out and rents, like, every one of his movies. farkin' "Breakfast Club", where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. farkin' "Weird Science", where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no, she don't, 'cause it's a PG movie. And then "Pretty in Pink", which I can't even watch with this tubby biatch anymore 'cause every time he gets to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little biatch with a skinned knee and shiat. And there's nothing worse than watching a farkin' fat man weep.

[Silent Bob blows out his cigarette smoke angrily]

Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois?

Jay: See, all these movies take place in this small town called Shermer in Illinois, where all the honeys are top-shelf but all the dudes are whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson, he was farkin' harsh.

[he and Silent Bob bump fists]

Jay: But best of all, there was no one dealin', man. And then it hits me: we could live like FAT rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed and caught a bus. But you know what the fark we found out when we got there? There IS no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are farkin' bullshiat.
2014-03-24 07:59:44 PM  
5 votes:
I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career.
2014-03-24 07:55:10 PM  
5 votes:

Dingleberry Dickwad: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

What ruckus sir?


Could you describe the ruckus?
2014-03-24 07:52:02 PM  
4 votes:

fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?


What ruckus sir?
2014-03-24 08:04:14 PM  
3 votes:

Zombie DJ: PC LOAD LETTER: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

Old people problems.

I'll tape you butt cheeks together.


That was you?
2014-03-24 08:03:40 PM  
3 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

Old people problems.


I'll tape you butt cheeks together.
2014-03-24 08:00:34 PM  
3 votes:
I think a screw fell out. Screws fall out the time, the world is imperfect place.
2014-03-24 07:39:36 PM  
3 votes:

Mark Ratner: One of the things that bugs me about the movie was Alison's image makeover at the end. Maybe it is supposed to be symbolic of her willingness to let be people be nice to her and not be such a loner or something, but it's a peeve when I see it today. Thought she looked fine before.

[img2-1.timeinc.net image 610x610]


Yah, it was the symbolism. I agree she looked hot before the makeover too. But I'm so sorry- I'm going to jack off to that second pic. Again.
2014-03-24 08:25:53 PM  
2 votes:

WordsnCollision: WTFDYW: I see this thread has potential for funny. Unfortunately I will miss most of it and will have to read it tomorrow. Probably after it closes.

You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five thirty years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is.


Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
2014-03-24 08:07:51 PM  
2 votes:
"No, but if I ever find the guy who stole my clothes and molested my poodle, I'll beat him to death with this salami."

/ Moo lair really pumps my nads
2014-03-24 08:01:44 PM  
2 votes:
"You wear tights?"

"I wear the required uniform."

"Tights."
2014-03-24 05:07:45 PM  
2 votes:
"Please turn off the surveillance Gamera."
2014-03-24 11:48:28 PM  
1 vote:
24.media.tumblr.com

/Close to being one of the first 'up-skirts' I ever saw.
2014-03-24 10:18:45 PM  
1 vote:
Hey, next year can we repeat this thread for St. Elmo's Fire?
2014-03-24 09:16:17 PM  
1 vote:
i669.photobucket.com
2014-03-24 09:15:44 PM  
1 vote:
kingshamus.files.wordpress.com

"Who am I?  Who AM I?"
2014-03-24 09:11:32 PM  
1 vote:
www.gonemovies.com

"HI-DAGA-DAGA!"
2014-03-24 08:53:09 PM  
1 vote:
This thread is demented and sad.
2014-03-24 08:44:54 PM  
1 vote:

WTFDYW: I see this thread has potential for funny. Unfortunately I will miss most of it and will have to read it tomorrow. Probably after it closes.


You can read it On The Boat!
2014-03-24 08:44:33 PM  
1 vote:

Dingleberry Dickwad: It was a commentary on teenager/young adult behavior.


Are you suggesting the same thing doesn't happen to older people in similar social settings?
2014-03-24 08:43:06 PM  
1 vote:
"What do you need a fake ID for?"

"So I can vote."
2014-03-24 08:11:33 PM  
1 vote:

WTFDYW: I see this thread has potential for funny. Unfortunately I will miss most of it and will have to read it tomorrow. Probably after it closes.


You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five thirty years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is.
2014-03-24 08:05:41 PM  
1 vote:

gunther_bumpass: PC LOAD LETTER: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

Old people problems.

-fwoosh-


Yep. A resounding fwoosh.
2014-03-24 08:01:09 PM  
1 vote:

OregonVet: Mark Ratner: One of the things that bugs me about the movie was Alison's image makeover at the end. Maybe it is supposed to be symbolic of her willingness to let be people be nice to her and not be such a loner or something, but it's a peeve when I see it today. Thought she looked fine before.

[img2-1.timeinc.net image 610x610]

Yah, it was the symbolism. I agree she looked hot before the makeover too. But I'm so sorry- I'm going to jack off to that second pic. Again.


Should have walked into Molly Ringwalds arms and started to go to town on each other...grab a handful of pixie sticks and head off to the womens room...
2014-03-24 07:57:15 PM  
1 vote:

PC LOAD LETTER: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

Old people problems.


-fwoosh-
2014-03-24 07:55:33 PM  
1 vote:

Jekylman: Dingleberry Dickwad: fusillade762: What's all the ruckus over a movie anniversary?

What ruckus sir?

Could you describe the ruckus?


You mess with the bull you get the horns.
 
Displayed 26 of 26 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report