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(Daily Star)   Woman poses with disciple as she claims to be alien god of cat people and was engaged to current Arsenal manager in the 15th century when she was Joan of Arc   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 72
    More: Amusing, Joan of Arc, Arsene Wenger, alien races, cat people, Labour Leader, UKIP, woman claims, Ed Miliband  
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7200 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2014 at 1:50 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-24 12:01:13 PM
Seems Legit.
 
2014-03-24 12:02:56 PM
FTFA: She dated Wenger when he was air to the French throne, apparently.

upload.wikimedia.org

Do you know who else was the Sun and the Air?
 
2014-03-24 12:42:45 PM
You're a looney...
 
2014-03-24 12:43:44 PM
How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person?  It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."
 
2014-03-24 12:57:04 PM

timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person?  It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."


It's only the attention whores who were famous historical figures.  I would actually be embarrased or dissapointed if I found out I was famous in a past life.  That being said, I totally hope I slept with Ben Franklin in a past life.
 
2014-03-24 01:50:34 PM
More on her:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/archive/2003/08/12/402376.Woman__s_clos e_ encounter/

"A former Policewoman..."

shiat gets scarier.
 
2014-03-24 01:54:59 PM
Was she putting out fire with gasoline?
 
2014-03-24 01:55:02 PM

timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person? It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."


Because they are delusional attention seeking nut cases in need of therapy and possibly institutionalization regardless if they claim to be Joan or a dirt farmer.
 
2014-03-24 01:56:58 PM

FabulousFreep: timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person? It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."

Because they are delusional attention seeking nut cases in need of therapy and possibly institutionalization regardless if they claim to be Joan or a dirt farmer.


Just because you can't remember being a Chinese peasant like everyone else on the planet.
 
2014-03-24 01:57:51 PM
Seemed like it was going to be one of those great English eccentric kook articles that I love so much but I only got as far as "air to the French throne" before my head exploded.

I guess I'll have to dig around for a cabbage whisperer exposé in The Daily Express.
 
2014-03-24 01:58:56 PM

Ambivalence: timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person?  It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."

It's only the attention whores who were famous historical figures.  I would actually be embarrased or dissapointed if I found out I was famous in a past life.  That being said, I totally hope I slept with Ben Franklin in a past life.


Nah,...

I always say, why put limitations on yourself...

Dig him up and sleep with him now.

If that doesn't make you famous, nothing will.
 
2014-03-24 02:02:15 PM

Somacandra: FTFA: She dated Wenger when he was air to the French throne, apparently.



Air?

/me sobs
 
2014-03-24 02:02:38 PM
Wellll; Joan De Arc did claim that she heard voices in her head. She said St. Michael the Archangel; not aliens. Me thinks that somebody wants some attention.
 
2014-03-24 02:03:22 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-24 02:04:58 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-03-24 02:05:24 PM

FunkOut: FabulousFreep: timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person? It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."

Because they are delusional attention seeking nut cases in need of therapy and possibly institutionalization regardless if they claim to be Joan or a dirt farmer.

Just because you can't remember being a Chinese peasant like everyone else on the planet.


Pretty much what I came to say. I'm always amused that people who believe in "past lives" almost always claim to have been someone of fame or nobility. You never hear "yeah, I was an English fishwife named Hortense in the 15th century".
 
2014-03-24 02:05:45 PM
DSYDIC


/just don't
 
2014-03-24 02:07:56 PM

Somacandra: FTFA: She dated Wenger when he was air to the French throne, apparently.



Do you know who else was the Sun and the Air?


That claim is pretty ridiculous. Joan De Arc was peasant born. There's no way a prince would have married her poor ass. Also, she's the monarch of the cat people, or something.
 
2014-03-24 02:08:06 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Ambivalence: timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person?  It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."

It's only the attention whores who were famous historical figures.  I would actually be embarrased or dissapointed if I found out I was famous in a past life.  That being said, I totally hope I slept with Ben Franklin in a past life.

Nah,...

I always say, why put limitations on yourself...

Dig him up and sleep with him now.

If that doesn't make you famous, nothing will.


Kudos for thinking outside (and inside) the box.
 
2014-03-24 02:08:08 PM
Know how I know she's making it up?  Everyone knows Cloister the Stupid is the god of the cat people.
 
2014-03-24 02:08:52 PM

Hack Patooey: Somacandra: FTFA: She dated Wenger when he was air to the French throne, apparently.


Air?

/me sobs


Must have meant "air to the French horn". That would make more sense.
 
2014-03-24 02:12:37 PM
New 'Giggity' image?

images.dailystar-uk.co.uk
 
2014-03-24 02:12:45 PM

iheartscotch: Wellll; Joan De Arc did claim that she heard voices in her head. She said St. Michael the Archangel; not aliens. Me thinks that somebody wants some attention.


Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?
 
2014-03-24 02:14:53 PM
I was a serf named Harold in 13th century Cheshire. I married possibly the ugliest woman in existence because her father had three dairy cows and promised to help build a new cottage for us and the bugger only bought half the bloody wood we needed. We were happily married for three weeks then the weather cleared up and I saw her in full daylight for the first time. The marriage lasted until I died at forty-three in a pitchfork-related accident. I had three extra-marital affairs, one with a fat Welsh prostitute and the others with one of the cows.
 
2014-03-24 02:15:48 PM
I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store
I was only passin' by
But a paper caught my eye
And I learned a few things I never knew before
It said your pet may be an extraterrestrial
It said the ghost of Elvis is living in my den
You can learn to cope with stress
You can beat the IRS
And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again
Oh, Midnight Star
It's in the weekly Midnight Star
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Eat jelly doughnuts, and lose twenty pounds a day
Hear the story of the man born without a head
And top psychics all agree
That the telephone company
Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead
Oh, Midnight Star
You can believe it if you read it in the weekly Midnight Star
They're keeping Hitler's brain alive inside a jar
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bust-line grow
Midnight Star, I wanna know
Oh, Midnight Star
Well, don't you know that I read it, I read it in the weekly Midnight Star
The UFOs have landed, and we'll tell you where they are
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know
Midnight Star
Well, you can read all about in in the weekly Midnight Star
You can use your ESP to learn to play guitar
I wanna know, I wanna know
 
2014-03-24 02:16:48 PM

buckler: FunkOut: FabulousFreep: timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person? It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."

Because they are delusional attention seeking nut cases in need of therapy and possibly institutionalization regardless if they claim to be Joan or a dirt farmer.

Just because you can't remember being a Chinese peasant like everyone else on the planet.

Pretty much what I came to say. I'm always amused that people who believe in "past lives" almost always claim to have been someone of fame or nobility. You never hear "yeah, I was an English fishwife named Hortense in the 15th century".


Rimmer: Because, believe it or not, Lister, he told me that, in a past incarnation, I was Alexander the Great's chief eunuch.

Lister: Do you know something? I believe you.

Rimmer: He didn't say that I was Alexander himself, which is obviously what I wanted to hear. But it explained everything: I'd lived a previous life alongside one of the greatest generals in history. No wonder the military's in my blood.

Lister: No wonder you're such a good singer.

Rimmer: Well, maybe it's rot, I don't know. But it's funny -- to this day, I can't look at a pair of nutcrackers without wincing. And why is it, whenever I'm with a large group of women, I have this overwhelming urge to bathe them in warm olive oil?

Lister: I have that urge, Rimmer. It's got nothing to do with past lives.

//two Red Dwarf references out of one article!
 
2014-03-24 02:17:21 PM
It could be true.  Why not just ask this guy?
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-24 02:17:57 PM
 
2014-03-24 02:18:40 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: It could be true.  Why not just ask this guy?
[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 285x177]


That movie was so trippy.
 
2014-03-24 02:20:55 PM

AgentPothead: Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?


I guess that depends: if the voices were correct, does it matter?
 
2014-03-24 02:20:57 PM
h century?

Wasn't that the last time Arsenal beat Chelsea?
 
2014-03-24 02:21:26 PM

Ambivalence: That being said, I totally hope I slept with Ben Franklin in a past life.


Chances are, you did.

/I really got around back then.
 
2014-03-24 02:25:13 PM
Better than being Alexander the Great's chief eunuch.
 
2014-03-24 02:26:40 PM

AgentPothead: iheartscotch: Wellll; Joan De Arc did claim that she heard voices in her head. She said St. Michael the Archangel; not aliens. Me thinks that somebody wants some attention.

Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?


At least Joan De Arc actually convinced a few people that the voices were real. She was burned at the stake for witchery. She was also canonized a saint in the 1920's by Benedict XV. I doubt this lady will follow in Joan's footsteps.
 
2014-03-24 02:29:53 PM

MBooda: h century?

Wasn't that the last time Arsenal beat Chelsea?


Well that was a bizarre filterpwn.

I had actually typed "fifteenth", but as the ordinal number, not the word.

Let's see.

"15t" 15t 1 5 t
 
2014-03-24 02:30:38 PM
Pretty good article for The Daily Star
 
2014-03-24 02:31:39 PM

Kit Fister: AgentPothead: Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?

I guess that depends: if the voices were correct, does it matter?


Sure! Win a few quick victories and suddenly, everybody believes in the voices. The conjecture is; Charles the VII of France sold her out, because she was too popular with the common people. She is, however, one of the few people convicted of witchery to have the conviction reversed; as much good as it did her.
 
2014-03-24 02:36:46 PM

iheartscotch: Kit Fister: AgentPothead: Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?

I guess that depends: if the voices were correct, does it matter?

Sure! Win a few quick victories and suddenly, everybody believes in the voices. The conjecture is; Charles the VII of France sold her out, because she was too popular with the common people. She is, however, one of the few people convicted of witchery to have the conviction reversed; as much good as it did her.


She "believed" in the voices to stop the gang rapes.  They were afraid to touch her until she recanted, then they gang raped her 24/7.

Then she heard the voices again and they killed her.
 
2014-03-24 02:38:28 PM
What a god of cat people may look like....

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-24 02:39:53 PM

buckler: Pretty much what I came to say. I'm always amused that people who believe in "past lives" almost always claim to have been someone of fame or nobility. You never hear "yeah, I was an English fishwife named Hortense in the 15th century".


My mother took me to a hypnotist for past life regression when I was a teenager, what did I learn? I was a greek mercenary who was murdered in an ambush, I was a Roman footsoldier in Britain who was killed by Picts, I was a young, Chinese wife, who's villiage was overrun by Monguls and I became a slave and later run down by a horseman and killed.  All of them short, miserable lives that ended violently and with great suffering.

My takeaway?  Modern life is farking awesome! Though I am half expecting to be raped/murdered at any moment just because that seems to be the trend for me (if said memories actually happened)
 
2014-03-24 02:45:54 PM
i242.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-24 02:45:57 PM
Wenger would claim he didn't see any of it.
 
2014-03-24 02:46:13 PM
web.mit.edu
 
2014-03-24 02:48:26 PM

FullMetalPanda: iheartscotch: Kit Fister: AgentPothead: Woah woah woah, delusional people can hear voices that they attribute to somebody other than themselves?

I guess that depends: if the voices were correct, does it matter?

Sure! Win a few quick victories and suddenly, everybody believes in the voices. The conjecture is; Charles the VII of France sold her out, because she was too popular with the common people. She is, however, one of the few people convicted of witchery to have the conviction reversed; as much good as it did her.

She "believed" in the voices to stop the gang rapes.  They were afraid to touch her until she recanted, then they gang raped her 24/7.

Then she heard the voices again and they killed her.


The English? I hadn't heard that; but, I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. They would do some pretty horrific things to make witches confess. She was about 19 when they burned her at the stake.

I doubt the French would have; she was, actually, a pretty damn effective commander. Charles the VII actually had his biblical scholars and his priests check into Joan's background; to make sure she wasn't just a con-artist. She must have convinced them of her virtue; because, they recommended that Charles the VII should support Joan and listen to her.
 
2014-03-24 02:55:55 PM
"Me and my spirit guides believe it will be Manchester City who will win the title."

Good thing her spirit guides are into footy. What other sports are the cat people into?
 
2014-03-24 03:20:51 PM
Well, at least part of the story checks out: Arsene Wenger is actually that old.
 
2014-03-24 03:21:56 PM
The good news is TFA is just as incoherent as subby's headline, so at least they match.
 
2014-03-24 03:36:00 PM

timujin: How is it all these people with past lives were Joan of Arc or some other famous person?  It's never, "Um, yeah, I was a dirt farmer in 1352 and died at age 37 from gout."


Conversely, imagine Joan of Arc realizing she was going to come back in another life as some crazy cat goddess.
 
2014-03-24 03:39:49 PM

topcon:


This is beautiful.
 
2014-03-24 03:44:38 PM
This is who she identifies as. Who are you to question that you bigot?
 
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