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(Never Underdressed)   Do straight guys actually wear cologne? And does it increase your chances of getting laid?   (neverunderdressed.com) divider line 23
    More: Interesting, Richard E. Grant, dashes, Benedict Cumberbatch, top notes, Pete Doherty  
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7865 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2014 at 9:29 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-24 09:39:01 AM  
12 votes:
As long as you don't smell like colon....

spatula-city.org
2014-03-24 10:19:56 AM  
4 votes:
media.midwayusa.com
2014-03-24 10:15:42 AM  
4 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.


Dear Penthouse,   I really enjoy reading the Letters Section.  Little did I know that I would be sending you my own story.

It was date night and I was horny and on the prowl.  I carefully prepare myself for these adventures.  I shower thoroughly  in Johnson's Baby Powder until I have a nice, healthy pale completion all over my body.   I then apply Armani Code underarm deodorant to my underarms, underbutt, and underfeet areas.  Next, I apply Armani Code body oil to the rest of my body and I brush my teeth with Armani Code Toothpaste.  I finally douse my hair liberally with Armani Code Just for Men.  I then put on the pants and shirt my mom left out for me and hit the streets rarin' for action.

It's not too long before I am chatting up some tail out and the boulevard.  I work better on the streets but you can find me in the bars and discotechs and video arcades too.  This chick was instantly in to what I was saying.  I think she was ready to push me in to an alley and take me right there.  But part of the conquest is the chase so she plays it cool.  She says "Twenty bucks if the hotel room windows open.  Forty if they don't."  Best seventy bucks I ever paid including the medical co-pays.

/sorry LT.  Couldn't resist, sir.
//Beats whatever work they were expecting from me
2014-03-24 09:52:00 AM  
4 votes:
Paco Rabanne is responsible for getting me laid, but still refuses to help with the child support payments.
2014-03-24 12:24:52 PM  
2 votes:

doubled99: I've had the same bottle of Cool Water for 7 years now


Go ahead and open it.
2014-03-24 12:18:52 PM  
2 votes:

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


Do you prancercise to stay fit?
2014-03-24 10:30:52 AM  
2 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.

Dear Penthouse,   I really enjoy reading the Letters Section.  Little did I know that I would be sending you my own story.

It was date night and I was horny and on the prowl.  I carefully prepare myself for these adventures.  I shower thoroughly  in Johnson's Baby Powder until I have a nice, healthy pale completion all over my body.   I then apply Armani Code underarm deodorant to my underarms, underbutt, and underfeet areas.  Next, I apply Armani Code body oil to the rest of my body and I brush my teeth with Armani Code Toothpaste.  I finally douse my hair liberally with Armani Code Just for Men.  I then put on the pants and shirt my mom left out for me and hit the streets rarin' for action.

It's not too long before I am chatting up some tail out and the boulevard.  I work better on the streets but you can find me in the bars and discotechs and video arcades too.  This chick was instantly in to what I was saying.  I think she was ready to push me in to an alley and take me right there.  But part of the conquest is the chase so she plays it cool.  She says "Twenty bucks if the hotel room windows open.  Forty if they don't."  Best seventy bucks I ever paid including the medical co-pays.

/sorry LT.  Couldn't resist, sir.
//Beats whatever work they were expecting from me


lolkot.ru
2014-03-24 10:16:43 AM  
2 votes:

RangerTaylor: I used to not bother. Since I started the new job I've been wearing it and the wife's been all over me soooooo


So you started making money and wearing cologne at the same time?

You have confounded the experiment!
2014-03-24 09:59:23 AM  
2 votes:
Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.
2014-03-24 09:48:32 AM  
2 votes:
When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad poured some cologne on the floor of my car in both the driver and passenger side right before I left to pick up a girl for our first date. It was terribly embarrassing. Driving with the windows down helped alleviate the odor only a little. I didn't get laid. I don't even think there was a second date.
2014-03-24 09:37:21 AM  
2 votes:
cdn.rsvlts.com
2014-03-24 07:28:01 AM  
2 votes:
How can you axe us those questions.
2014-03-24 05:13:31 PM  
1 votes:

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
[www.perfume2order.com image 567x529]


Any amount of cologne is too much cologne. Do you know why cologne was developed in the first place?

BECAUSE PEOPLE BACK THEN DIDN'T SHOWER ON THE REG!

Just take a shower, use soap, every day.

CSB time for me.

Wife wanted to go to Target. I hate Target. First thing I do upon arrival is go to the stink aisle and put on as much Drakkar Vomit as I can. Seriously like the whole bottle that they've got sitting out for demo. I got a headache. Like so much that even the land whales in that place were giving me stink eye.

Now I don't have to go to Target anymore.
/CSB
2014-03-24 03:29:23 PM  
1 votes:

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


i1.kym-cdn.com
2014-03-24 12:12:57 PM  
1 votes:

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


I haven't seen American Psycho in a while, is this dialogue from that?
2014-03-24 11:25:26 AM  
1 votes:
I used to wear Kiehl's Grapefruit Oil but they stopped making it so now my "signature scent" is a combination of coffee, sweat, and quiet desperation.
2014-03-24 10:41:22 AM  
1 votes:
No way. Also, men that wear cologne at work should be put up against a wall at shot.

Related, I met a VP of marketing for Axe. He said their money demographic is Hispanic males age 12-18. If anyone else buys that crap, it's all gravy.
2014-03-24 10:32:24 AM  
1 votes:
love-medicine.com
A few dabs of this behind the ears will get you laid.
2014-03-24 09:47:37 AM  
1 votes:
Had a coworker last night ask me what cologne I was wearing...had to think about it for a second, then I realized it was Desitin.
Parenting FTW
2014-03-24 09:44:58 AM  
1 votes:

CleanAndPure: My wife got me cologne. I only wear it on dates with her... which I sadly only get to do two or three times a year (we have kids and baby sitters are bloody expensive).

Whereas my wife ooohs and aaaahs over the scent, I'm just as unlikely to have sex with my wife after a date than on any other night of the year... probably less because she always kills the mood by chattering with babysitter for an hour after the date ends.


That's very alarming. I think you and I are married to the same woman.
2014-03-24 09:43:14 AM  
1 votes:
My wife got me cologne. I only wear it on dates with her... which I sadly only get to do two or three times a year (we have kids and baby sitters are bloody expensive).

Whereas my wife ooohs and aaaahs over the scent, I'm just as unlikely to have sex with my wife after a date than on any other night of the year... probably less because she always kills the mood by chattering with babysitter for an hour after the date ends.
2014-03-24 09:40:03 AM  
1 votes:

UberDave: All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...


I got my wife in spite of, not because of, old spice.
2014-03-24 09:39:29 AM  
1 votes:
No and yes.
 
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