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(Never Underdressed)   Do straight guys actually wear cologne? And does it increase your chances of getting laid?   (neverunderdressed.com) divider line 157
    More: Interesting, Richard E. Grant, dashes, Benedict Cumberbatch, top notes, Pete Doherty  
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7855 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2014 at 9:29 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-24 12:12:57 PM

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


I haven't seen American Psycho in a while, is this dialogue from that?
 
2014-03-24 12:18:49 PM
I've had the same bottle of Cool Water for 7 years now
 
2014-03-24 12:18:52 PM

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


Do you prancercise to stay fit?
 
2014-03-24 12:19:01 PM
Only Arabs and queers where cologne.
 
2014-03-24 12:20:49 PM
I always use a cologne with little or no alcohol in it. because alcohol dries out the skin, and makes you look older...
 
2014-03-24 12:24:52 PM

doubled99: I've had the same bottle of Cool Water for 7 years now


Go ahead and open it.
 
2014-03-24 12:27:01 PM

browntimmy: Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.

I haven't seen American Psycho in a while, is this dialogue from that?


Real men hunt down the animals in the woods and streams for their anal glands and make their own cologne.
Buncha pussys.
 
2014-03-24 12:30:07 PM
Yes and yes. And I'd also wager that many men apply it wrongly.

/you're not supposed to swim in the shiat
//spray into the air in front of you, then walk into the spray cloud
 
2014-03-24 12:32:13 PM
I rub a little vetiver oil in the pits and below the ears.

And, yes, it gets me laid. My last 4 first dates, bagged all four.

Of course, it could be that I date desperate sluts... But I'm OK with that!
 
2014-03-24 12:40:06 PM

TheRedMonkey: GRCooper: Polo Black.

Trust me.

My wife got that for me. I like it but she loves it. One spritz is enough and I get compliments from women all day, well at least the days I don't smoke a cigar.


Yeah, I've never worn anything that gets the compliments Blavk does

/I don't apply directly, I spray one squirt in front of me then walk through the 'cloud'
//if the scent is subtly applied, she has to get in close to smell it, knowwhatImean?
///and Polo Black they *want* to smell
 
2014-03-24 12:45:10 PM
Yes and yes.

Bleu by Chanel has worked well for me.
 
2014-03-24 12:45:32 PM

LazyMedia: Old Spice and Bay Rum are recommended for the older gent who's looking for a younger playmate with a daddy complex.


HEY!  I resemble that remark.... oh wait.

Don't wear it.  Hell, don't even own any cologne.  The ex found this body mist from a candle place that drove me wild.  She had a 100% chance of getting laid at some point before the spray, but if she had that stuff on,  she had a 100% chance of getting laid when she walked in the door, after she put her clothes back on for us to go to dinner, in the bathroom at the place we went to eat(quickie), and several times after we got home.  Movie? What movie?  We never got through one when she was wearing that stuff.  I'd say she knew what she was doing despite the, "We never make it through an entire film" complaints.  She knew what that stuff did to me, and she chose to put it on before our date.

/they don't make it anymore, sadly
 
2014-03-24 12:49:51 PM
My wife prefers me when I smell nice - so it does increase my chances. I prefer her when she smells nice, so it increases her chances too.
 
2014-03-24 12:53:44 PM
I don't wear cologne often, but when I do, it really isn't much different than the way women should wear perfume: in tiny amounts. I dab rubbed the chest and the back of the neck is all that is needed. If someone standing three feet away can smell your cologne, you are wearing too much. A woman shouldn't even know you are swearing any, but should sense that there is something intriguing about you, but not quite know what it is. As long as you keep yourself clean, you shouldn't need a fragrance anyway. Fragrances were invented to mask the funk when we didn't bathe very often.
 
2014-03-24 12:57:05 PM
Rub it on you, smells like douchebag
Rub it on her and how you smell doesn't matter

www.bawldguy.com
 
2014-03-24 01:00:12 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Rub it on you, smells like douchebag
Rub it on her and how you smell doesn't matter

[www.bawldguy.com image 287x191]


Applied properly, that is a parting shot.
 
2014-03-24 01:01:39 PM
I don't wear cologne because it smells like men, and I hate the way men smell, so why would I want to smell that all day? You should never smell anybody. If everybody else can smell you because you bath in Elsha. Stay the fark home.
 
2014-03-24 01:04:37 PM
The Mrs. expects me to wear cologne and is disappointed that I don't remember to wear it more often. She does not like Old Spice or any aftershave I've ever tried.

I have Eternity and Polo Sport. As far as I'm concerned, people should notice it only if they're closer to me than I'd tolerate from any woman I don't like, or any man.

/ if you're standing on the same piece of carpeting as me, you're too close
 
2014-03-24 01:06:45 PM
Couple of different colognes, lightly applied, but my current girl likes it best when I smell like the leather cleaner I use on my riding gear.
 
2014-03-24 01:07:17 PM

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
[www.perfume2order.com image 567x529]


That's what my wife likes, so that's what I wear. To me cologne/perfume comes in two varieties: the stuff that smells like soap, and the stuff that smells like urine. So, I wear what the women in my life like on me.
 
2014-03-24 01:09:59 PM
In other news, sales of men's perfumes and colognes at all-time lows. Industry desperate to stimulate sales.
 
2014-03-24 01:15:19 PM

dittybopper: [media.midwayusa.com image 850x637]


Tackleberry!!!!!
 
2014-03-24 01:38:04 PM

Porous Horace: I eat only organic so my odor is free of toxins and should therefore be permitted, Mrs. HR Manager.


This past weekend, i went to the gym right after going to Taco Bell (yes, i realize there are more than a few things wrong with this), and i noticed that my sweat absolutely terrible... like i was literally shiatting through my poors.  Made me think.
 
2014-03-24 01:41:09 PM
I'm surprised the word cologne transferred to both French and English from German.  Although, it doesn't look German at all so maybe it was French in the first place.  All that said, the fact that the word is still being used in the USA must be a tribute to the bombing.

/know who used to wear cologne?
 
2014-03-24 01:52:01 PM
The biggest mistake to make before going out to the bars is to shower.  Shower that morning, but not just before you go out.  You want cologne to ride over your natural scent, which should be loaded with pheromones so long as you haven't just washed them all away.  Then don't overdo the cologne, it's just a mask so it should be subtle.
 
2014-03-24 01:57:29 PM

germ78: Yes and yes. And I'd also wager that many men apply it wrongly.

/you're not supposed to swim in the shiat
//spray into the air in front of you, then walk into the spray cloud


I find it works best to spray a few squirts on my hand, then rub myself for a bit.
 
2014-03-24 02:01:13 PM
After a fresh shave and shower alI  you need is to douse your ballsack. The pants and undergarments will mask the smell and you can claim sexual harassment fairly easily if anyone complains at work.
 
2014-03-24 02:02:07 PM

ski9600: I'm surprised the word cologne transferred to both French and English from German.  Although, it doesn't look German at all so maybe it was French in the first place.  All that said, the fact that the word is still being used in the USA must be a tribute to the bombing.

/know who used to wear cologne?


The German would be Koln (with an umlaut).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eau_de_Cologne
 
2014-03-24 02:30:17 PM
I have a bottle of something called "Bowling Green". I don't thinkk its even made any longer. I've had the same bottle for 25 years and it is still 80% full. The girls did love it however.
 
2014-03-24 02:35:29 PM
www.clubman.com

GF loves the smell.
 
2014-03-24 02:35:35 PM

kid_icarus: Uber straight dude bros have a very specific opinion on this topic:

[i76.photobucket.com image 285x177]


Some nurses in my ICU keep Axe spray for patients who are terminally funky.  If you stink even after a good bath, you get Axed.
 
2014-03-24 02:36:00 PM
No, Not since the 70s.

UNLESS you are an Indian in the US for the first time, and your Indian buddies in the US tell you that Americans shower like everyday and are offended by BO. Then you wear it so you don't have to shower as much.
But then you won't get laid. Still.
 
2014-03-24 02:45:37 PM
No, and no.

This,

ecx.images-amazon.com
plus this,

i.walmartimages.com

and you are now a man.

/Ok, there's a little more (manly) work to it than that.
 
2014-03-24 03:24:08 PM
Gay guys generally don't wear cologne, subby.
 
2014-03-24 03:29:23 PM

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-03-24 03:35:30 PM

dj_spanmaster: jigger: Not sure if the Hugo Boss thing is still happening.

Oh, was it a thing? That's the only one I've ever liked enough to use with regularity, because in small to moderate quantities it smells good with my own scent. And if I accidentally get a large quantity, a quick rinse doesn't ruin anything.


Hugo Boss #6 gets me complements.

The rest of you guys need to at least wear deodorant.
 
2014-03-24 03:38:59 PM

doubled99: I always use a cologne with little or no alcohol in it. because alcohol dries out the skin, and makes you look older...


Never put cologne on your face.
 
2014-03-24 03:45:02 PM
I generally prefer a man's natural smell, but something in Gucci's "Guilty" for men turns me on.

I don't know any straight man who would wear (or admit to wearing) such fancy, expensive stink water.
 
2014-03-24 03:47:00 PM
I am astonished at the amount of dudes in here who don't like to smell attractive to the opposite sex.  I have ALWAYS had women tell me I smell good.  I figure that's a positive thing.   Now of course, I don't spritz on so much you can smell me from 6 feet away.... but if I walk by their desk, they might get a waft of my cologne... or if I get close to them to show them something....    or my girlfriend when we're kissing/hugging....        Of course, i've had them tell me "you smell soooo good" even when I'm not wearing the cologne, so who knows... maybe it's just the connection of their guy and liking his smell in general.

I agree with people who comment on soap washing off pheromones and their sometimes subliminal type effects...    I don't believe cologne covers that up though if you apply it conservatively...   being that cologne will smell different on different people due to their different chemical make up....  etc...     I VERY rarely wear deodorant though... and if I do, that IS because of a cover up.. lol.. like if I wake up 5 min AFTER I'm supposed to be at work....
 
2014-03-24 04:02:54 PM
I do in Public, Cologne only though....I do not use deodorant....I found some years back that after a couple months not using it, I ceased having PIT ROT.... and I did try using deodorant a couple times since then and the day after I stink to high heavens....so I don't anymore....(Yes I am Married, and my wife will vouch for this story).....and over the years I have been called "One Good Smelling Man" by some of my wifes friends even ..... I found one Cologne that mixed well with my body chemistry and use that exclusively.

That is the secret to Perfumes....it must mix well with your own Natural Odors.....
 
2014-03-24 04:18:23 PM
www.biography.com

Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne.
 
2014-03-24 04:18:46 PM
Considering what the people who wear cologne on here are suggesting as "good," it's probably just as well the rest of you stay away from it. Walmart sensibilities don't make you manly; just low-rent.
 
2014-03-24 04:40:11 PM
I will add, if you're looking for a long term relationship, don't wear any scent at all.  Colognes and body washes are to confuses as many members of the opposite sex's scent cues as possible.  You want to widen your net.  But you'll end up attracting people who aren't attracted to your natural smell.  Smell means more than you would think when it comes to long term compatibility.  Some people just turn other people on and they can't explain it, usually it's something biological shooting them attraction signals.  So don't mask your natural musk if you are looking for love and not just sex.
 
2014-03-24 05:13:31 PM

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
[www.perfume2order.com image 567x529]


Any amount of cologne is too much cologne. Do you know why cologne was developed in the first place?

BECAUSE PEOPLE BACK THEN DIDN'T SHOWER ON THE REG!

Just take a shower, use soap, every day.

CSB time for me.

Wife wanted to go to Target. I hate Target. First thing I do upon arrival is go to the stink aisle and put on as much Drakkar Vomit as I can. Seriously like the whole bottle that they've got sitting out for demo. I got a headache. Like so much that even the land whales in that place were giving me stink eye.

Now I don't have to go to Target anymore.
/CSB
 
2014-03-24 05:57:54 PM
My roomate had some friend of hers crash over last month. Guy must have drowned himself in Axe. I ended up Fabreezing the couch and had to wash a couple blankets. I dunno why but every guy friend she has from New Jersey just drowns themselves in Axe or whatever cologne they wear.
 
2014-03-24 06:01:12 PM
Mad Scientist: Old school, baby!

For my bay rum, I go with Col. Conk

www.colconkproducts.comwww.perfume2order.com
www.compareperfumeprices.net www.99perfume.com
 
2014-03-24 06:22:37 PM

WinoRhino: Scent has a powerful link to memory and emotion, but if there is nothing special to tie that scent to then it is meaningless. So wearing it when going out and trying to get laid doesn't work because you're presenting the scent in a context that is as of yet meaningless to the person you're trying to woo. Unless of course that person had an ex they are still really fond of who wore the same scent... then you could get lucky.


Sooo... for a few year or so should I put on cologne when I know I'm going to have sex with the wife, then use it as a subconscious trigger afterwards? Pavlovian?
 
2014-03-24 06:46:23 PM
Yes and YES!

Original BVLGARI introduced in 1996. Description: Hesperidic, Spices, Dry Woods, Musk, Amber. I was given a sample vial the size of a cigarette butt while purchasing my annual bottle of Armani. Straight, gay, male and female, I had several people asking me what my scent was. It just mixed so well with my natural stank, I bought a bottle. I normally apply one spritz to my shirt, just under the collar, center chest. There was a bar I used to go play darts on league night....There was this really cute waitress that I was VERY attracted to. (Too bad she was married)....After she placed our drinks on the table and was waiting to get paid, I caught her cute little nose, nostrils flaring, trying to catch a quick whiff just an inch or two from my left armpit. I flashed her a devilish grin, and she gave one back with a hint of embarrassment while quickly shuffling off. Sadly, that's the end of that story. Probably a good thing. Her hubby was a hardcore Marine, and I respect married women. Forbidden fruit ! Plus, I enjoy being alive...So, there's that....Good stuff, BVLGARI is....A little dab will do ya' !
 
2014-03-24 07:55:16 PM
I've worn cologne when I've gotten it as a gift...one spritz on the neck.  It's not that much but enough that the intermittent vague aroma it puts out I find sickening after a while.  Chicks dig it so there's that.
 
2014-03-24 08:01:17 PM

dittybopper: May I recommend this to you:

www.hunterspec.com

It's an effective anti-perspirant, and it's odorless.


I just want a good anti-perspirant that doesn't stain the hell out of my shirts.
 
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