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(Never Underdressed)   Do straight guys actually wear cologne? And does it increase your chances of getting laid?   (neverunderdressed.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Richard E. Grant, dashes, Benedict Cumberbatch, top notes, Pete Doherty  
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7893 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2014 at 9:29 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-24 06:07:33 AM  
No.
 
2014-03-24 07:19:07 AM  
yes and yes.

black phoenix alchemy lab.  go forth and stink  NO MORE!

/here endth the lesson.
 
2014-03-24 07:28:01 AM  
How can you axe us those questions.
 
2014-03-24 08:18:17 AM  
When I get dressed up, and I'm married, so no.
 
2014-03-24 08:46:12 AM  
Yeah, if you don't go crazy with it.
 
2014-03-24 09:22:21 AM  
All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...
 
2014-03-24 09:32:00 AM  
I used to not bother. Since I started the new job I've been wearing it and the wife's been all over me soooooo
 
2014-03-24 09:32:35 AM  
Please for the love of god, everyone, and I mean everyone, stop with the perfume and cologne. Please, just stop.
 
2014-03-24 09:33:08 AM  
My natural smell brings the girls to the yard

They're like "Can I smell your arms"
 
2014-03-24 09:34:09 AM  
img.fark.net

Old school, baby!
 
2014-03-24 09:34:28 AM  
I eat only organic so my odor is free of toxins and should therefore be permitted, Mrs. HR Manager.
 
2014-03-24 09:34:29 AM  
My man wears cologne and he smells awesome

...and I'm not a man.
 
2014-03-24 09:34:48 AM  
When I was single I'd wear cologne.  I only put some on now when my wife and I go out.  Now I just smell like deodorant and after shave(Burts bees)
 
2014-03-24 09:34:58 AM  

Weaver95: yes and yes.

black phoenix alchemy lab.  go forth and stink  NO MORE!

/here endth the lesson.


You. I like you.
 
2014-03-24 09:35:04 AM  
No and no.   I own one bottle that I like, it's called Hatteras or something, and it's kind of islandy.  I only use it for an aftershave, and I rarely shave.

In my totally anecdotal experience, it seems cologne covers up pheromones, or at least that's my guess as to why many more girls talk to me when I'm normal vs. freshly bathed and coiffed.
 
2014-03-24 09:35:18 AM  
You should smell like nothing. Nothing is the best smell.
 
2014-03-24 09:36:20 AM  
You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
www.perfume2order.com
 
2014-03-24 09:36:22 AM  
I have some that my wife picked out for me. I wear it occasionally, but it doesn't seem to help.
 
2014-03-24 09:36:26 AM  
\English Leather...or nothing at all.

\\HAI! Karate!

\\\Canoe Canoe?

\\\\No, I don't because I graduated from high school
 
2014-03-24 09:36:35 AM  
I've never worn cologne.  I can't stand the smell of it.  Any of it.  And I can't understand why people feel the need to marinate in it.  I guess it's easier than bathing.
 
2014-03-24 09:37:21 AM  
cdn.rsvlts.com
 
2014-03-24 09:37:36 AM  
I have to re-read the directions on my Hai-Karate every.single.time.
 
2014-03-24 09:37:58 AM  
Young men from the Middle East. Get on an elevator with them and you will wish you had a respirator. I think they marinate themselves in cologne.
 
2014-03-24 09:38:10 AM  
Polo Black.

Trust me.
 
2014-03-24 09:38:47 AM  
Do you even have to axe?
 
2014-03-24 09:39:01 AM  
As long as you don't smell like colon....

spatula-city.org
 
2014-03-24 09:39:22 AM  

marius2: My natural smell brings the girls to the yard

They're like "Can I smell your arms"


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-24 09:39:29 AM  
No and yes.
 
2014-03-24 09:40:03 AM  

UberDave: All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...


I got my wife in spite of, not because of, old spice.
 
2014-03-24 09:40:10 AM  
Smelling good can a take an a man from a 6/7 to a 9/10 very quickly.
It has to be a subtle smell and not too much.
I like Derek Jeter's Driven.  That smells so good.
 
2014-03-24 09:40:18 AM  

Weaver95: yes and yes.

black phoenix alchemy lab.  go forth and stink  NO MORE!

/here endth the lesson.


Yup.

BPAL forever!
 
2014-03-24 09:40:36 AM  

exparrot: \English Leather...or nothing at all.

\\HAI! Karate!

\\\Canoe Canoe?

\\\\No, I don't because I graduated from high school


I actually kind of like the smell of Canoe.  Also, Old Spice, the old school kind.

/lawn, off
 
2014-03-24 09:42:30 AM  

GalFriday: Smelling good can a take an a man from a 6/7 to a 9/10 very quickly.
It has to be a subtle smell and not too much.
I like Derek Jeter's Driven.  That smells so good.


I'm wondering if your type also likes the house smelling like scented candles.
 
2014-03-24 09:43:14 AM  
My wife got me cologne. I only wear it on dates with her... which I sadly only get to do two or three times a year (we have kids and baby sitters are bloody expensive).

Whereas my wife ooohs and aaaahs over the scent, I'm just as unlikely to have sex with my wife after a date than on any other night of the year... probably less because she always kills the mood by chattering with babysitter for an hour after the date ends.
 
2014-03-24 09:44:58 AM  

CleanAndPure: My wife got me cologne. I only wear it on dates with her... which I sadly only get to do two or three times a year (we have kids and baby sitters are bloody expensive).

Whereas my wife ooohs and aaaahs over the scent, I'm just as unlikely to have sex with my wife after a date than on any other night of the year... probably less because she always kills the mood by chattering with babysitter for an hour after the date ends.


That's very alarming. I think you and I are married to the same woman.
 
2014-03-24 09:45:27 AM  
Not day to day, but if I'm getting dressed up I do. Old Spice original or Curve.
 
2014-03-24 09:46:36 AM  
Easy does it.  A little goes a long way.
ecx.images-amazon.com
Have worn this same stuff since college - about thirty years I guess.
 
2014-03-24 09:46:46 AM  
I make out better getting laid when I smell like weed.
 
2014-03-24 09:47:11 AM  

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:


Very 80s. My high school reeked of Drakkar from 1982 through 1984 or so.
 
2014-03-24 09:47:37 AM  
Had a coworker last night ask me what cologne I was wearing...had to think about it for a second, then I realized it was Desitin.
Parenting FTW
 
2014-03-24 09:48:32 AM  
When I was a sophomore in high school, my dad poured some cologne on the floor of my car in both the driver and passenger side right before I left to pick up a girl for our first date. It was terribly embarrassing. Driving with the windows down helped alleviate the odor only a little. I didn't get laid. I don't even think there was a second date.
 
2014-03-24 09:50:47 AM  

croesius: Had a coworker last night ask me what cologne I was wearing...had to think about it for a second, then I realized it was Desitin.
Parenting FTW


Yeah, wife bought me a big bottle of something not long after we started dating. I used to wear it every now and then, but she got tired of the scent.

I have always gotten the "you smell good" compliments from the fresh after a shower smell, and from the scent of shaving cream.
 
2014-03-24 09:50:53 AM  
Scent has a powerful link to memory and emotion, but if there is nothing special to tie that scent to then it is meaningless. So wearing it when going out and trying to get laid doesn't work because you're presenting the scent in a context that is as of yet meaningless to the person you're trying to woo. Unless of course that person had an ex they are still really fond of who wore the same scent... then you could get lucky.
 
2014-03-24 09:51:12 AM  
I'm not sure if tracking sales would be a useful approach for examining the popularity of straight-man-smelly-stuff. I use English Leather, a couple of drops in the morning. At that rate, I estimate that my one bottle of it is going to last me 20 to 25 years.
 
2014-03-24 09:51:33 AM  

UberDave: All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...


Anything that smells like their dad is usually a winner.
 
2014-03-24 09:51:55 AM  

browntimmy: GalFriday: Smelling good can a take an a man from a 6/7 to a 9/10 very quickly.
It has to be a subtle smell and not too much.
I like Derek Jeter's Driven.  That smells so good.

I'm wondering if your type also likes the house smelling like scented candles.


Not really.  That isn't to say that I don't enjoy a scented candle when I am in the bathtub, but I don't like overkill.
My manfriend always smells so good, and he doesn't wear cologne.  He says that it is his shaving soap that smells so good.  I don't know what it is, but when a guy smells good, it is so sexy.
 
2014-03-24 09:52:00 AM  
Paco Rabanne is responsible for getting me laid, but still refuses to help with the child support payments.
 
2014-03-24 09:52:06 AM  
You can always tell the trends in cologne too. All guys wear the same sticky shiat for a couple of years. For a while it was Obsession, then for a while it was Joop. Not sure if the Hugo Boss thing is still happening. You can just walk around and smell the same funk coming off everyone. barf.
 
2014-03-24 09:53:27 AM  
The smell of weed and nag champa counts as a cologne, right?
 
2014-03-24 09:54:20 AM  

Breaker Moran: GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:

Very 80s. My high school reeked of Drakkar from 1982 through 1984 or so.


Mine did too.
Before I entered into monogamy with the manfriend (about 2 years ago), I went on a date with a guy that reeked of Drakkar.  I had to say no to a second date based on that fact alone.  I was afraid that he would show up wearing parachute pants or worse, he would tight roll his jeans.
 
2014-03-24 09:57:15 AM  
Yes.

And, if you need cologne for this, then yes it helps. If you don't need cologne for this, it doesn't help.

/did not need when I was on the market
 
2014-03-24 09:59:23 AM  
Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.
 
2014-03-24 10:01:21 AM  
Irish Spring soap is all you need.
 
2014-03-24 10:01:24 AM  
Smells are certainly important. I'm not sure it's necessarily "good" smells like cologne. My soon-to-be ex-wife would be on me like crazy when she smelled fire and sweat on me, when I caught a late-shift fire and didn't bother to shower at work.

The article briefly implies that men are much less influenced by smells, and I don't buy it. I really like smelling a woman in my clothes after being physically close with her. When my wife moved out I didn't change the sheets for 6 weeks, until I was sure that I couldn't smell her in them anymore. I don't really mean perfumes or body washes, either. Just the clean, natural, smell of a woman.
 
2014-03-24 10:02:25 AM  
My wife prefers when I do.
 
2014-03-24 10:04:52 AM  
Uber straight dude bros have a very specific opinion on this topic:

i76.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-24 10:07:46 AM  

jigger: Not sure if the Hugo Boss thing is still happening.


Oh, was it a thing? That's the only one I've ever liked enough to use with regularity, because in small to moderate quantities it smells good with my own scent. And if I accidentally get a large quantity, a quick rinse doesn't ruin anything.
 
2014-03-24 10:08:06 AM  
Get my stuff from here.

http://www.truefittandhill.com//
 
2014-03-24 10:08:52 AM  
media1.break.com

cdn1.viewpoints.com
 
2014-03-24 10:09:34 AM  
As a matter of fact, I do.  Always have.  Granted, those first few years in junior high with Brut was a learning experience.  I think my mom thought I was drinking it, I went through it so fast.  Figured out how to use just a small amount, stick to the "cleaner" scents mostly.  As a fat ugly guy, anything that might help, I tried it.
 
2014-03-24 10:15:42 AM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.


Dear Penthouse,   I really enjoy reading the Letters Section.  Little did I know that I would be sending you my own story.

It was date night and I was horny and on the prowl.  I carefully prepare myself for these adventures.  I shower thoroughly  in Johnson's Baby Powder until I have a nice, healthy pale completion all over my body.   I then apply Armani Code underarm deodorant to my underarms, underbutt, and underfeet areas.  Next, I apply Armani Code body oil to the rest of my body and I brush my teeth with Armani Code Toothpaste.  I finally douse my hair liberally with Armani Code Just for Men.  I then put on the pants and shirt my mom left out for me and hit the streets rarin' for action.

It's not too long before I am chatting up some tail out and the boulevard.  I work better on the streets but you can find me in the bars and discotechs and video arcades too.  This chick was instantly in to what I was saying.  I think she was ready to push me in to an alley and take me right there.  But part of the conquest is the chase so she plays it cool.  She says "Twenty bucks if the hotel room windows open.  Forty if they don't."  Best seventy bucks I ever paid including the medical co-pays.

/sorry LT.  Couldn't resist, sir.
//Beats whatever work they were expecting from me
 
2014-03-24 10:16:03 AM  
A guy I work with bathes in cologne. It's farking nasty. You should not be able to taste someones cologne from them just walking by.

/It covers the smell of the eight cats he has.
//barely
 
2014-03-24 10:16:19 AM  
Yes and depends.

I wear Polo Sport for work/average days and various more spicy shiat for "after dark".  Smelling good during the day is both a personal thing and improves my career, considering I work with people who directly effect my pay and my work potential and visit customers frequently.  And for dates, my woman has her preferences and some of them drive her wild.
 
2014-03-24 10:16:43 AM  

RangerTaylor: I used to not bother. Since I started the new job I've been wearing it and the wife's been all over me soooooo


So you started making money and wearing cologne at the same time?

You have confounded the experiment!
 
2014-03-24 10:19:40 AM  
My BF wears Old Spice most of the time, and occasionally this stuff called "Ubermensch" that I got for him.  He uses a light hand, and usually I don't notice it.  However, when I unbutton his shirt, the heat from his body brings me that spiced man-odor, and I love it.  So while his chances of getting laid remain right around 100% whether he's wearing cologne or not, I do appreciate it.

/Am I a gay man in a woman's body?
/it sounds just as dumb said that way.
 
2014-03-24 10:19:56 AM  
media.midwayusa.com
 
2014-03-24 10:30:52 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Armani Code did get me laid once. I wrote all about it in Penthouse.

Dear Penthouse,   I really enjoy reading the Letters Section.  Little did I know that I would be sending you my own story.

It was date night and I was horny and on the prowl.  I carefully prepare myself for these adventures.  I shower thoroughly  in Johnson's Baby Powder until I have a nice, healthy pale completion all over my body.   I then apply Armani Code underarm deodorant to my underarms, underbutt, and underfeet areas.  Next, I apply Armani Code body oil to the rest of my body and I brush my teeth with Armani Code Toothpaste.  I finally douse my hair liberally with Armani Code Just for Men.  I then put on the pants and shirt my mom left out for me and hit the streets rarin' for action.

It's not too long before I am chatting up some tail out and the boulevard.  I work better on the streets but you can find me in the bars and discotechs and video arcades too.  This chick was instantly in to what I was saying.  I think she was ready to push me in to an alley and take me right there.  But part of the conquest is the chase so she plays it cool.  She says "Twenty bucks if the hotel room windows open.  Forty if they don't."  Best seventy bucks I ever paid including the medical co-pays.

/sorry LT.  Couldn't resist, sir.
//Beats whatever work they were expecting from me


lolkot.ru
 
2014-03-24 10:32:24 AM  
love-medicine.com
A few dabs of this behind the ears will get you laid.
 
2014-03-24 10:33:33 AM  
Dear HousePet,
I smell like you.
 
2014-03-24 10:41:22 AM  
No way. Also, men that wear cologne at work should be put up against a wall at shot.

Related, I met a VP of marketing for Axe. He said their money demographic is Hispanic males age 12-18. If anyone else buys that crap, it's all gravy.
 
2014-03-24 10:44:55 AM  
Yes.  Almost daily.   One spray, so not to be overpowering.
/straight
//happily married
///slashies
 
2014-03-24 10:54:21 AM  

devilEther: [love-medicine.com image 250x250]
A few dabs of this behind the ears will get you laid.


-_-

no.
 
2014-03-24 10:54:58 AM  

Milo Minderbinder: No way. Also, men that wear cologne at work should be put up against a wall at shot.

Related, I met a VP of marketing for Axe. He said their money demographic is Hispanic males age 12-18. If anyone else buys that crap, it's all gravy.


That pretty much says it all. It's for horny teenagers who don't know better and people highly susceptible to marketing.
 
2014-03-24 10:56:52 AM  
I used to, since it was a standard at work and I don't want to smell "more like a man than I want to".  Now, not so much.  The wife claims to get headaches from any perfume or cologne or even various soap scents, and makes over-dramatic 'now I have a headache and I'm retching as well' actions when I put on deodorant.

It's not a big deal for me, since I have almost no sense of smell, but I do sometimes worry about the folks around me.
 
2014-03-24 10:56:57 AM  

ArgusRun: marius2: My natural smell brings the girls to the yard

They're like "Can I smell your arms"

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]


I spilled Husk Musk on my science project and got an "A".
 
2014-03-24 10:58:40 AM  

revrendjim: Young men from the Middle East. Get on an elevator with them and you will wish you had a respirator. I think they marinate themselves in cologne.


Culture that doesn't shower as much as Northern, North Americans. Same everywhere, including Europe.
 
2014-03-24 11:04:40 AM  
You don't need cologne if you smell like cookies!

i12.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-24 11:05:36 AM  
 
2014-03-24 11:08:25 AM  
I have a co-worker that claims to have environmental allergies, so nothing except whatever I washed with this morning. Speaking of, I found out yesterday that my Dove brand shampoo has caffeine in it. Seriously.
 
2014-03-24 11:10:41 AM  

quietwalker: I used to, since it was a standard at work and I don't want to smell "more like a man than I want to".  Now, not so much.  The wife claims to get headaches from any perfume or cologne or even various soap scents, and makes over-dramatic 'now I have a headache and I'm retching as well' actions when I put on deodorant.


May I recommend this to you:

www.hunterspec.com

It's an effective anti-perspirant, and it's odorless.
 
2014-03-24 11:10:43 AM  

Nurglitch: I have a co-worker that claims to have environmental allergies, so nothing except whatever I washed with this morning. Speaking of, I found out yesterday that my Dove brand shampoo has caffeine in it. Seriously.


What, you want tired hair or something?
 
2014-03-24 11:25:26 AM  
I used to wear Kiehl's Grapefruit Oil but they stopped making it so now my "signature scent" is a combination of coffee, sweat, and quiet desperation.
 
2014-03-24 11:25:51 AM  

Agatha Crispy: Irish Spring soap is all you need.


Wonderful stuff.
I put bars of it in spots under hood and in air cleaner of cars.
Keeps the squirrels and field mice from nesting in the vitals and eating the wires.
 
2014-03-24 11:27:38 AM  
Anyone have a source for Banaby's Bitters?
 
2014-03-24 11:27:41 AM  
Straight out of my grandfathers junk drawer (alongside old knives, coins from foreign countries, pencil stubs and the like) Old Spice!!
 
2014-03-24 11:28:00 AM  
I wear cologne when I desire a splitting headache....so never.
 
2014-03-24 11:30:35 AM  
Yes (Fahrenheit), and yes!
 
2014-03-24 11:32:41 AM  
I use a special blend of Old Spice, Hai Karate, and something that gets spots out.

/Obscure?
 
2014-03-24 11:32:51 AM  
Wasn't there some rule that if the answer to your headline is 'no' then don't?
 
2014-03-24 11:35:35 AM  
media.247sports.com
 
2014-03-24 11:39:12 AM  
Glad to hear I'm not the only one that doesn't consistently wear the stuff and gets splitting headaches when I have to.  Cigarattes have been banned for health reasons, but still perfectly legal to marinate in obscene scents and have scented candles on co-workers desks.  Would love to see one of those sniffer things installed at work.  Anyone over "x" PPM of stink wouldn't be allowed into the office.

Yankee Candle is a weapon of mass destruction and should be placed on a terror watch list.
 
2014-03-24 11:43:44 AM  

GRCooper: Polo Black.

Trust me.


My wife got that for me. I like it but she loves it. One spritz is enough and I get compliments from women all day, well at least the days I don't smoke a cigar.
 
2014-03-24 11:43:54 AM  
snowybunting:

What is that? It smells like bigfoot's dick!
 
2014-03-24 11:44:31 AM  
If I'm going out to a formal event, yes. Not everyday.

/Wears hugo
//gets told I smell great, but hasn't led to sex
 
2014-03-24 11:46:51 AM  
Old Spice and Bay Rum are recommended for the older gent who's looking for a younger playmate with a daddy complex.
 
2014-03-24 11:49:13 AM  
content.artofmanliness.com
 
2014-03-24 11:49:24 AM  

UberDave: All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...


Yes, yes we do.
 
2014-03-24 11:53:25 AM  

INeedAName: UberDave: All you need is Old Spice or Brüt.

The ladies love those...

Anything that smells like their dad is usually a winner.


This is true; maybe it has something to do with feeling safe and loved by a man you trust?
 
2014-03-24 11:55:31 AM  
Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.
 
2014-03-24 12:12:57 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


I haven't seen American Psycho in a while, is this dialogue from that?
 
2014-03-24 12:18:49 PM  
I've had the same bottle of Cool Water for 7 years now
 
2014-03-24 12:18:52 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


Do you prancercise to stay fit?
 
2014-03-24 12:19:01 PM  
Only Arabs and queers where cologne.
 
2014-03-24 12:20:49 PM  
I always use a cologne with little or no alcohol in it. because alcohol dries out the skin, and makes you look older...
 
2014-03-24 12:24:52 PM  

doubled99: I've had the same bottle of Cool Water for 7 years now


Go ahead and open it.
 
2014-03-24 12:27:01 PM  

browntimmy: Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.

I haven't seen American Psycho in a while, is this dialogue from that?


Real men hunt down the animals in the woods and streams for their anal glands and make their own cologne.
Buncha pussys.
 
2014-03-24 12:30:07 PM  
Yes and yes. And I'd also wager that many men apply it wrongly.

/you're not supposed to swim in the shiat
//spray into the air in front of you, then walk into the spray cloud
 
2014-03-24 12:32:13 PM  
I rub a little vetiver oil in the pits and below the ears.

And, yes, it gets me laid. My last 4 first dates, bagged all four.

Of course, it could be that I date desperate sluts... But I'm OK with that!
 
2014-03-24 12:40:06 PM  

TheRedMonkey: GRCooper: Polo Black.

Trust me.

My wife got that for me. I like it but she loves it. One spritz is enough and I get compliments from women all day, well at least the days I don't smoke a cigar.


Yeah, I've never worn anything that gets the compliments Blavk does

/I don't apply directly, I spray one squirt in front of me then walk through the 'cloud'
//if the scent is subtly applied, she has to get in close to smell it, knowwhatImean?
///and Polo Black they *want* to smell
 
2014-03-24 12:45:10 PM  
Yes and yes.

Bleu by Chanel has worked well for me.
 
2014-03-24 12:45:32 PM  

LazyMedia: Old Spice and Bay Rum are recommended for the older gent who's looking for a younger playmate with a daddy complex.


HEY!  I resemble that remark.... oh wait.

Don't wear it.  Hell, don't even own any cologne.  The ex found this body mist from a candle place that drove me wild.  She had a 100% chance of getting laid at some point before the spray, but if she had that stuff on,  she had a 100% chance of getting laid when she walked in the door, after she put her clothes back on for us to go to dinner, in the bathroom at the place we went to eat(quickie), and several times after we got home.  Movie? What movie?  We never got through one when she was wearing that stuff.  I'd say she knew what she was doing despite the, "We never make it through an entire film" complaints.  She knew what that stuff did to me, and she chose to put it on before our date.

/they don't make it anymore, sadly
 
2014-03-24 12:49:51 PM  
My wife prefers me when I smell nice - so it does increase my chances. I prefer her when she smells nice, so it increases her chances too.
 
2014-03-24 12:53:44 PM  
I don't wear cologne often, but when I do, it really isn't much different than the way women should wear perfume: in tiny amounts. I dab rubbed the chest and the back of the neck is all that is needed. If someone standing three feet away can smell your cologne, you are wearing too much. A woman shouldn't even know you are swearing any, but should sense that there is something intriguing about you, but not quite know what it is. As long as you keep yourself clean, you shouldn't need a fragrance anyway. Fragrances were invented to mask the funk when we didn't bathe very often.
 
2014-03-24 12:57:05 PM  
Rub it on you, smells like douchebag
Rub it on her and how you smell doesn't matter

www.bawldguy.com
 
2014-03-24 01:00:12 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Rub it on you, smells like douchebag
Rub it on her and how you smell doesn't matter

[www.bawldguy.com image 287x191]


Applied properly, that is a parting shot.
 
2014-03-24 01:01:39 PM  
I don't wear cologne because it smells like men, and I hate the way men smell, so why would I want to smell that all day? You should never smell anybody. If everybody else can smell you because you bath in Elsha. Stay the fark home.
 
2014-03-24 01:04:37 PM  
The Mrs. expects me to wear cologne and is disappointed that I don't remember to wear it more often. She does not like Old Spice or any aftershave I've ever tried.

I have Eternity and Polo Sport. As far as I'm concerned, people should notice it only if they're closer to me than I'd tolerate from any woman I don't like, or any man.

/ if you're standing on the same piece of carpeting as me, you're too close
 
2014-03-24 01:06:45 PM  
Couple of different colognes, lightly applied, but my current girl likes it best when I smell like the leather cleaner I use on my riding gear.
 
2014-03-24 01:07:17 PM  

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
[www.perfume2order.com image 567x529]


That's what my wife likes, so that's what I wear. To me cologne/perfume comes in two varieties: the stuff that smells like soap, and the stuff that smells like urine. So, I wear what the women in my life like on me.
 
2014-03-24 01:09:59 PM  
In other news, sales of men's perfumes and colognes at all-time lows. Industry desperate to stimulate sales.
 
2014-03-24 01:15:19 PM  

dittybopper: [media.midwayusa.com image 850x637]


Tackleberry!!!!!
 
2014-03-24 01:38:04 PM  

Porous Horace: I eat only organic so my odor is free of toxins and should therefore be permitted, Mrs. HR Manager.


This past weekend, i went to the gym right after going to Taco Bell (yes, i realize there are more than a few things wrong with this), and i noticed that my sweat absolutely terrible... like i was literally shiatting through my poors.  Made me think.
 
2014-03-24 01:41:09 PM  
I'm surprised the word cologne transferred to both French and English from German.  Although, it doesn't look German at all so maybe it was French in the first place.  All that said, the fact that the word is still being used in the USA must be a tribute to the bombing.

/know who used to wear cologne?
 
2014-03-24 01:52:01 PM  
The biggest mistake to make before going out to the bars is to shower.  Shower that morning, but not just before you go out.  You want cologne to ride over your natural scent, which should be loaded with pheromones so long as you haven't just washed them all away.  Then don't overdo the cologne, it's just a mask so it should be subtle.
 
2014-03-24 01:57:29 PM  

germ78: Yes and yes. And I'd also wager that many men apply it wrongly.

/you're not supposed to swim in the shiat
//spray into the air in front of you, then walk into the spray cloud


I find it works best to spray a few squirts on my hand, then rub myself for a bit.
 
2014-03-24 02:01:13 PM  
After a fresh shave and shower alI  you need is to douse your ballsack. The pants and undergarments will mask the smell and you can claim sexual harassment fairly easily if anyone complains at work.
 
2014-03-24 02:02:07 PM  

ski9600: I'm surprised the word cologne transferred to both French and English from German.  Although, it doesn't look German at all so maybe it was French in the first place.  All that said, the fact that the word is still being used in the USA must be a tribute to the bombing.

/know who used to wear cologne?


The German would be Koln (with an umlaut).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eau_de_Cologne
 
2014-03-24 02:30:17 PM  
I have a bottle of something called "Bowling Green". I don't thinkk its even made any longer. I've had the same bottle for 25 years and it is still 80% full. The girls did love it however.
 
2014-03-24 02:35:29 PM  
www.clubman.com

GF loves the smell.
 
2014-03-24 02:35:35 PM  

kid_icarus: Uber straight dude bros have a very specific opinion on this topic:

[i76.photobucket.com image 285x177]


Some nurses in my ICU keep Axe spray for patients who are terminally funky.  If you stink even after a good bath, you get Axed.
 
2014-03-24 02:36:00 PM  
No, Not since the 70s.

UNLESS you are an Indian in the US for the first time, and your Indian buddies in the US tell you that Americans shower like everyday and are offended by BO. Then you wear it so you don't have to shower as much.
But then you won't get laid. Still.
 
2014-03-24 02:45:37 PM  
No, and no.

This,

ecx.images-amazon.com
plus this,

i.walmartimages.com

and you are now a man.

/Ok, there's a little more (manly) work to it than that.
 
2014-03-24 03:24:08 PM  
Gay guys generally don't wear cologne, subby.
 
2014-03-24 03:29:23 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Only in America would so many idiot colonials complain because they don't know how to use cologne. Jesus f*cking christ, no wonder Europeans hate us. A man without cologne is a disgusting Neanderthal. A man with too much cologne is a forever-alone goofy b*tch who didn't go on enough dates as a teenager. I alternate between like 5 or 6 different kinds, and I never tell females what I'm wearing. This is because smell is the sense most closely tied to memory, and I don't want her going and telling some other jerk to buy my cologne - and the same thing can smell different on different people. I use Lauder Pleasures and Intuition, Acqua Di Gio, John Varvatos, Du Rothschild, fark (That's French Connection UK in case I get filterpwned) and I even have some Stetson for those goofy trips to TX. But walking around and missing out on a free chance to make a positive statement is simply f*cking igmo. What a bunch of little boys.


i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-03-24 03:35:30 PM  

dj_spanmaster: jigger: Not sure if the Hugo Boss thing is still happening.

Oh, was it a thing? That's the only one I've ever liked enough to use with regularity, because in small to moderate quantities it smells good with my own scent. And if I accidentally get a large quantity, a quick rinse doesn't ruin anything.


Hugo Boss #6 gets me complements.

The rest of you guys need to at least wear deodorant.
 
2014-03-24 03:38:59 PM  

doubled99: I always use a cologne with little or no alcohol in it. because alcohol dries out the skin, and makes you look older...


Never put cologne on your face.
 
2014-03-24 03:45:02 PM  
I generally prefer a man's natural smell, but something in Gucci's "Guilty" for men turns me on.

I don't know any straight man who would wear (or admit to wearing) such fancy, expensive stink water.
 
2014-03-24 03:47:00 PM  
I am astonished at the amount of dudes in here who don't like to smell attractive to the opposite sex.  I have ALWAYS had women tell me I smell good.  I figure that's a positive thing.   Now of course, I don't spritz on so much you can smell me from 6 feet away.... but if I walk by their desk, they might get a waft of my cologne... or if I get close to them to show them something....    or my girlfriend when we're kissing/hugging....        Of course, i've had them tell me "you smell soooo good" even when I'm not wearing the cologne, so who knows... maybe it's just the connection of their guy and liking his smell in general.

I agree with people who comment on soap washing off pheromones and their sometimes subliminal type effects...    I don't believe cologne covers that up though if you apply it conservatively...   being that cologne will smell different on different people due to their different chemical make up....  etc...     I VERY rarely wear deodorant though... and if I do, that IS because of a cover up.. lol.. like if I wake up 5 min AFTER I'm supposed to be at work....
 
2014-03-24 04:02:54 PM  
I do in Public, Cologne only though....I do not use deodorant....I found some years back that after a couple months not using it, I ceased having PIT ROT.... and I did try using deodorant a couple times since then and the day after I stink to high heavens....so I don't anymore....(Yes I am Married, and my wife will vouch for this story).....and over the years I have been called "One Good Smelling Man" by some of my wifes friends even ..... I found one Cologne that mixed well with my body chemistry and use that exclusively.

That is the secret to Perfumes....it must mix well with your own Natural Odors.....
 
2014-03-24 04:18:23 PM  
www.biography.com

Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne.
 
2014-03-24 04:18:46 PM  
Considering what the people who wear cologne on here are suggesting as "good," it's probably just as well the rest of you stay away from it. Walmart sensibilities don't make you manly; just low-rent.
 
2014-03-24 04:40:11 PM  
I will add, if you're looking for a long term relationship, don't wear any scent at all.  Colognes and body washes are to confuses as many members of the opposite sex's scent cues as possible.  You want to widen your net.  But you'll end up attracting people who aren't attracted to your natural smell.  Smell means more than you would think when it comes to long term compatibility.  Some people just turn other people on and they can't explain it, usually it's something biological shooting them attraction signals.  So don't mask your natural musk if you are looking for love and not just sex.
 
2014-03-24 05:13:31 PM  

GalFriday: You are all doing it wrong.  This is how you do it:
[www.perfume2order.com image 567x529]


Any amount of cologne is too much cologne. Do you know why cologne was developed in the first place?

BECAUSE PEOPLE BACK THEN DIDN'T SHOWER ON THE REG!

Just take a shower, use soap, every day.

CSB time for me.

Wife wanted to go to Target. I hate Target. First thing I do upon arrival is go to the stink aisle and put on as much Drakkar Vomit as I can. Seriously like the whole bottle that they've got sitting out for demo. I got a headache. Like so much that even the land whales in that place were giving me stink eye.

Now I don't have to go to Target anymore.
/CSB
 
2014-03-24 05:57:54 PM  
My roomate had some friend of hers crash over last month. Guy must have drowned himself in Axe. I ended up Fabreezing the couch and had to wash a couple blankets. I dunno why but every guy friend she has from New Jersey just drowns themselves in Axe or whatever cologne they wear.
 
2014-03-24 06:01:12 PM  
Mad Scientist: Old school, baby!

For my bay rum, I go with Col. Conk

www.colconkproducts.comwww.perfume2order.com
www.compareperfumeprices.net www.99perfume.com
 
2014-03-24 06:22:37 PM  

WinoRhino: Scent has a powerful link to memory and emotion, but if there is nothing special to tie that scent to then it is meaningless. So wearing it when going out and trying to get laid doesn't work because you're presenting the scent in a context that is as of yet meaningless to the person you're trying to woo. Unless of course that person had an ex they are still really fond of who wore the same scent... then you could get lucky.


Sooo... for a few year or so should I put on cologne when I know I'm going to have sex with the wife, then use it as a subconscious trigger afterwards? Pavlovian?
 
2014-03-24 06:46:23 PM  
Yes and YES!

Original BVLGARI introduced in 1996. Description: Hesperidic, Spices, Dry Woods, Musk, Amber. I was given a sample vial the size of a cigarette butt while purchasing my annual bottle of Armani. Straight, gay, male and female, I had several people asking me what my scent was. It just mixed so well with my natural stank, I bought a bottle. I normally apply one spritz to my shirt, just under the collar, center chest. There was a bar I used to go play darts on league night....There was this really cute waitress that I was VERY attracted to. (Too bad she was married)....After she placed our drinks on the table and was waiting to get paid, I caught her cute little nose, nostrils flaring, trying to catch a quick whiff just an inch or two from my left armpit. I flashed her a devilish grin, and she gave one back with a hint of embarrassment while quickly shuffling off. Sadly, that's the end of that story. Probably a good thing. Her hubby was a hardcore Marine, and I respect married women. Forbidden fruit ! Plus, I enjoy being alive...So, there's that....Good stuff, BVLGARI is....A little dab will do ya' !
 
2014-03-24 07:55:16 PM  
I've worn cologne when I've gotten it as a gift...one spritz on the neck.  It's not that much but enough that the intermittent vague aroma it puts out I find sickening after a while.  Chicks dig it so there's that.
 
2014-03-24 08:01:17 PM  

dittybopper: May I recommend this to you:

www.hunterspec.com

It's an effective anti-perspirant, and it's odorless.


I just want a good anti-perspirant that doesn't stain the hell out of my shirts.
 
2014-03-24 09:27:53 PM  
Aramis, Pierre Cardin, Old Spice Original, or Realm.
Application by way of a cotton swab dabbed at the top of the jaw, below the ear.

95% of the time I wear no scent other than soap, shampoo and deodorant.
Regardless of the scent, I get ladies telling me I smell good fairly often.....which considering I'm a 50 yr old short, fat, bald guy is pretty astounding to me. I've had some female co-workers sidle up next to me and take deep sniffs.
 
2014-03-24 10:12:20 PM  
Eh, I don't really like the smell of most of them.  I wear deodorant (because I can't stand the smell of my stinky pits at the end of the day if I don't), apparently the way it mixes with the fabric softener I use smells good to women, because I get "you smell good" comments.
 
2014-03-24 10:59:49 PM  
My wife likes it when I small like "getting work done". Sweat, smoke, grilled meat, cut grass, small engine exhaust... not BO, though. Shower in the morning, get your work on, then come in smelling like a man oozing pheromones.
 
2014-03-25 12:26:35 AM  
Do you guys that don't wear deodorant live intemperate zones?

Cologne, women like it.
 
2014-03-25 08:11:13 AM  
Late to the party. (Didn't help that I went thru all the comments).

I love scents. Being married I don't know if scents played an encouraging role, but I did have the once or twice discouraging scent. Usually when being adventurous with a scent.

I Mentally classify scents into categories; Fresh/grassy/citrus (Cool Water, Bvlgari, Fahrenheit), Musky/Tobacco (The old Dunhill), chemical (Angel), sandalwood (Gio, sandalwood colognes).
I like to keep one of each type on hand, but rarely do.

The way I apply is usually selection based on my mood, with stronger scents getting less application and more on the body, and lighter scents less on the body and more on the clothes. Usually fresher scents for summer and deeper earthy scents in winter.

Have been known to mix and match.

And yes, have been guilty of changing wallpaper color when I walk into a room.
 
2014-03-25 11:49:05 AM  
I have heard it said that women have a greater ability to detect bad odors masked by cologne than men do. So that makes me think cologne is less important than proper hygiene for men.
 
2014-03-25 09:43:10 PM  

Steppo27: No, and no.

This,

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x289]
plus this,

[i.walmartimages.com image 500x500]

and you are now a man.

/Ok, there's a little more (manly) work to it than that.


Nothing says man like the word "sensitive" repeated twice.

/Also use that.
 
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