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9394 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2014 at 6:45 PM (25 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-23 05:47:25 PM
Texas has been shot into space?
 
2014-03-23 06:25:30 PM
Most astronauts have a raging hard on when they are donning their space-suits.
 
2014-03-23 06:50:29 PM
CSB: Watched "Gravity" last night and all I could think of is that the fewer clothes a heavily toned Sandra Bullock wears, the more I'm prepared to overlook her deficit of acting ability.
 
2014-03-23 06:56:57 PM
That's what she said
 
2014-03-23 06:59:14 PM

SecretAgentWoman: Texas has been shot into space?


No. Alaska has.
 
2014-03-23 07:00:13 PM
I'll take elephant size, please.
 
2014-03-23 07:00:39 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Most astronauts have a raging hard on when they are donning their space-suits.


I know I would.

In all seriousness, though... proper fit is important even when you're not using them to pee in space.  Condom manufacturers really should make half-sizes... or go by the same system as trousers and do a length dimension and a width dimension.

It's a nightmare if you don't perfectly fit one of the sizes that already exist.  Regular ones cut off blood flow like a ring and make it impossible to finish.  The extra large ones always feel like they're about to slide off, which makes me wonder about their efficacy.  WHY IS THERE NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE?
 
2014-03-23 07:06:24 PM
www.podsix.com
 
2014-03-23 07:06:35 PM
bjdwsm.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-23 07:16:20 PM
This is no surprise considering a spacecraft manned by type A personalities.

Me? I'd request the pinkie size.
 
2014-03-23 07:18:29 PM
A woman walks into a convenience store, and starts looking around, trying to act inconspicuous. After a while, the clerk asks her, "Ma'am, is there anything I can help you with?"

The woman replies, "Yes, what is the largest size condom you sell?" The clerk replies, "The largest we have are the Trojan Ultra-Magnums, would you like to buy a package?"

The woman shakes her head, "No, thank you. But would you mind if I waited here until someone did?"
 
2014-03-23 07:26:27 PM

Rhino_man: Because People in power are Stupid: Most astronauts have a raging hard on when they are donning their space-suits.

I know I would.

In all seriousness, though... proper fit is important even when you're not using them to pee in space.  Condom manufacturers really should make half-sizes... or go by the same system as trousers and do a length dimension and a width dimension.

It's a nightmare if you don't perfectly fit one of the sizes that already exist.  Regular ones cut off blood flow like a ring and make it impossible to finish.  The extra large ones always feel like they're about to slide off, which makes me wonder about their efficacy.  WHY IS THERE NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE?


It just occurred to me: We have the technology (although it's not widely used) to create a perfectly-fitted clothing pattern by scanning a person's body.  Shouldn't that mean it's also possible to create a perfectly-sized batch of condoms by similar means?

Of course, considering the additional steps that might be needed to get an *ahem* accurate measurement, any condom-sizing installation would probably need to be self-cleaning, like those self-cleaning public restrooms you sometimes see in larger cities.
 
2014-03-23 07:27:45 PM

Weatherkiss: A woman walks into a convenience store, and starts looking around, trying to act inconspicuous. After a while, the clerk asks her, "Ma'am, is there anything I can help you with?"

The woman replies, "Yes, what is the largest size condom you sell?" The clerk replies, "The largest we have are the Trojan Ultra-Magnums, would you like to buy a package?"

The woman shakes her head, "No, thank you. But would you mind if I waited here until someone did?"


That's a new one by me.  I'll have to file it away for future use.
 
2014-03-23 07:30:54 PM

Valiente: CSB: Watched "Gravity" last night and all I could think of is that the fewer clothes a heavily toned Sandra Bullock wears, the more I'm prepared to overlook her deficit of acting ability.


Her body was stunning.
 
2014-03-23 07:34:27 PM

anfrind: Rhino_man: Because People in power are Stupid: Most astronauts have a raging hard on when they are donning their space-suits.

I know I would.

In all seriousness, though... proper fit is important even when you're not using them to pee in space.  Condom manufacturers really should make half-sizes... or go by the same system as trousers and do a length dimension and a width dimension.

It's a nightmare if you don't perfectly fit one of the sizes that already exist.  Regular ones cut off blood flow like a ring and make it impossible to finish.  The extra large ones always feel like they're about to slide off, which makes me wonder about their efficacy.  WHY IS THERE NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE?

It just occurred to me: We have the technology (although it's not widely used) to create a perfectly-fitted clothing pattern by scanning a person's body.  Shouldn't that mean it's also possible to create a perfectly-sized batch of condoms by similar means?

Of course, considering the additional steps that might be needed to get an *ahem* accurate measurement, any condom-sizing installation would probably need to be self-cleaning, like those self-cleaning public restrooms you sometimes see in larger cities.


That's... a fantastic idea, actually.  I think it would probably be best to just use those clone-a-willy kits and mail in the result.

You know... get it up, dip your junk in the plaster, mail in the resulting plaster mold.  I would definitely send a copy of my penis to Trojan if it meant that they would keep it on file and let me order custom-fit condoms from them.

For more info on clone-a-willy, here's a link:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/sex-toy-kits/sp-clone-a-willy- ki t-7805.aspx
QUITE OBVIOUSLY NSFW
 
2014-03-23 07:36:20 PM
anfrind:
It just occurred to me: We have the technology (although it's not widely used) to create a perfectly-fitted clothing pattern by scanning a person's body.  Shouldn't that mean it's also possible to create a perfectly-sized batch of condoms by similar means?

Unlikely:  Stretched lengthNeither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length. Stretched length most closely correlated with erect length.

The problem is that the erections that astronauts have when putting on their spacesuits, quickly subside and then the condom will have to stay on as they grow soft waiting for departure.
 
2014-03-23 07:46:34 PM
Everything I've ever seen about the Apollo program convinces me that we really got incredibly lucky that anyone survived.  The rest of the video, past the silly part about the condom sizes, is about how we just plain didn't know how to keep a guy alive in space at all, or even with lunar gravity.

It's stunning that every mission past Apollo 1 actually made it back alive.  No margin for error at all, every thing by extraordinary skill.

Comparatively, can you imagine driving a modern car without computers, while controlling the fuel flow and ignition timing by hand, in a strange location, while having your spouse constantly nagging at you to save fuel?  It's utterly astounding that anyone lived through the trip to the Moon.
 
2014-03-23 07:57:41 PM
In space no one can hear your stream
 
2014-03-23 08:01:01 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-23 08:01:24 PM

Iszael: Everything I've ever seen about the Apollo program convinces me that we really got incredibly lucky that anyone survived.  The rest of the video, past the silly part about the condom sizes, is about how we just plain didn't know how to keep a guy alive in space at all, or even with lunar gravity.

It's stunning that every mission past Apollo 1 actually made it back alive.  No margin for error at all, every thing by extraordinary skill.

Comparatively, can you imagine driving a modern car without computers, while controlling the fuel flow and ignition timing by hand, in a strange location, while having your spouse constantly nagging at you to save fuel?  It's utterly astounding that anyone lived through the trip to the Moon.


I can picture myself in that now...
www.ctvnews.ca
 
2014-03-23 08:05:34 PM

Rhino_man: That's... a fantastic idea, actually.  I think it would probably be best to just use those clone-a-willy kits and mail in the result.

You know... get it up, dip your junk in the plaster, mail in the resulting plaster mold.  I would definitely send a copy of my penis to Trojan if it meant that they would keep it on file and let me order custom-fit condoms from them.

For more info on clone-a-willy, here's a link:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/sex-toy-kits/sp-clone-a-willy- ki t-7805.aspx
QUITE OBVIOUSLY NSFW


That would work.  My first thought was a machine that would e.g. use a scanning laser to create a 3-D model of a customer's penis, rather than use a plaster mold.  It would have a higher startup cost, but would probably be a lot faster than working with plaster, not to mention less messy.

On the other hand, a plaster mold kit would make it a lot easier for a customer to do everything from the privacy of his own home.

Because People in power are Stupid: Unlikely:  Stretched lengthNeither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length. Stretched length most closely correlated with erect length.

The problem is that the erections that astronauts have when putting on their spacesuits, quickly subside and then the condom will have to stay on as they grow soft waiting for departure.


Hmm...I hadn't thought of that.  I guess that the might work for "safe sex" condoms, but not spacesuit condoms.
 
2014-03-23 08:10:43 PM
"That's one small step for a man, and one giant leap for mankind ... and I have the hugest boner EVAR!"

That bit after the ellipsis was deleted at NASA HQ.  But, in all honesty, if you were the first person to set foot on the moon, you'd have a huge boner too.  Even if you were the first person to set foot on the moon mock up on a Hollywood stage set.
 
2014-03-23 08:11:28 PM

anfrind: Rhino_man: That's... a fantastic idea, actually.  I think it would probably be best to just use those clone-a-willy kits and mail in the result.

You know... get it up, dip your junk in the plaster, mail in the resulting plaster mold.  I would definitely send a copy of my penis to Trojan if it meant that they would keep it on file and let me order custom-fit condoms from them.

For more info on clone-a-willy, here's a link:
http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/sex-toy-kits/sp-clone-a-willy- ki t-7805.aspx
QUITE OBVIOUSLY NSFW

That would work.  My first thought was a machine that would e.g. use a scanning laser to create a 3-D model of a customer's penis, rather than use a plaster mold.  It would have a higher startup cost, but would probably be a lot faster than working with plaster, not to mention less messy.

On the other hand, a plaster mold kit would make it a lot easier for a customer to do everything from the privacy of his own home.

Because People in power are Stupid: Unlikely:  Stretched lengthNeither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length. Stretched length most closely correlated with erect length.

The problem is that the erections that astronauts have when putting on their spacesuits, quickly subside and then the condom will have to stay on as they grow soft waiting for departure.

Hmm...I hadn't thought of that.  I guess that the might work for "safe sex" condoms, but not spacesuit condoms.


I was thinking more along the lines of using both... having the laser scanner at the factory to take the measurements, but sending the plaster mold kit to the end user so that they don't have to try and perform in unfamiliar and likely-clinical surroundings.  It's difficult enough focusing on keeping it up and taking a picture, I can't imagine the failure rate of attempting to take a laser scan before it goes down.

/I can neither confirm nor deny that I've taken shots of my junk
//NTTAWWT
 
2014-03-23 08:15:23 PM
Except the scale of things in the Academy Award nominated film Gravity... then in space everything is conveniently near each other.
 
2014-03-23 08:48:16 PM
who needs a penis pump when you can just stick it out the window.
 
2014-03-23 09:06:15 PM
 
2014-03-23 09:07:21 PM

Iszael: Everything I've ever seen about the Apollo program convinces me that we really got incredibly lucky that anyone survived.  The rest of the video, past the silly part about the condom sizes, is about how we just plain didn't know how to keep a guy alive in space at all, or even with lunar gravity.

It's stunning that every mission past Apollo 1 actually made it back alive.  No margin for error at all, every thing by extraordinary skill.

Comparatively, can you imagine driving a modern car without computers, while controlling the fuel flow and ignition timing by hand, in a strange location, while having your spouse constantly nagging at you to save fuel?  It's utterly astounding that anyone lived through the trip to the Moon.


I agree -- but they did have a guidance computer called AGS with an interface called DSKY.  If you want to try out DSKY, an emulator with a tutorial is here:  http://apollo.spaceborn.dk/dsky-sim.html.  Not exactly a multi-touch interface.

While watching this video of the landing from the astronaut's perspective, consider Aldrin was using this system while Armstrong was flying the LEM:  http://youtu.be/NeqpbH0bIuA?t=4m51s, The left audio channel is the ground flight director talking to his flight control officers, and the right audio channel is CAPCOM talking to Armstrong and Aldrin.

They were getting 1201 and 1202 alarms which was AGS overload (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_Guidance_Computer#PGNCS_trouble .)  The landing program kept the rendezvous radar running in case they had to abort and fly back up to the orbiting capsule, however processing this along with the landing radar data proved too much data for DSKY to process, and it started throwing out processing instructions to keep up, which generated the alarms.

On top of that, they were running out of fuel because DSKY was guiding them towards a field of large boulders so Armstrong was overriding the controls to overshoot the targeted landing site to find somewhere flatter.  Late in the landing sequence, you can hear the flight director calling out "low level", "60 seconds" then "30 seconds" which was the fuel remaining before "BINGO" (landing fuel empty, immediate abort.)  When they landed, they had only 15 seconds of fuel left in the tank.

With a flaky landing computer and fuel critically low, they still managed to pull off the landing.  These guys should worry less about the size of their condoms and worry more about the stitching in their underwear to carry their massive brass ones.
 
2014-03-23 09:08:29 PM

Iszael: Everything I've ever seen about the Apollo program convinces me that we really got incredibly lucky that anyone survived.  The rest of the video, past the silly part about the condom sizes, is about how we just plain didn't know how to keep a guy alive in space at all, or even with lunar gravity.

It's stunning that every mission past Apollo 1 actually made it back alive.  No margin for error at all, every thing by extraordinary skill.

Comparatively, can you imagine driving a modern car without computers, while controlling the fuel flow and ignition timing by hand, in a strange location, while having your spouse constantly nagging at you to save fuel?  It's utterly astounding that anyone lived through the trip to the Moon.


They had experience from the Mercury and Gemini programs in how to keep men alive in space, but yeah, they were lucky nobody died.
 
2014-03-23 09:08:43 PM

stuffy: who needs a penis pump when you can just stick it out the window.


That's not my bag baby
 
2014-03-23 09:33:36 PM
... and wetter.

www.keithwhite.us
 
2014-03-23 09:52:56 PM

anfrind: Rhino_man: Because People in power are Stupid: Most astronauts have a raging hard on when they are donning their space-suits.

I know I would.

In all seriousness, though... proper fit is important even when you're not using them to pee in space.  Condom manufacturers really should make half-sizes... or go by the same system as trousers and do a length dimension and a width dimension.

It's a nightmare if you don't perfectly fit one of the sizes that already exist.  Regular ones cut off blood flow like a ring and make it impossible to finish.  The extra large ones always feel like they're about to slide off, which makes me wonder about their efficacy.  WHY IS THERE NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE?

It just occurred to me: We have the technology (although it's not widely used) to create a perfectly-fitted clothing pattern by scanning a person's body.  Shouldn't that mean it's also possible to create a perfectly-sized batch of condoms by similar means?

Of course, considering the additional steps that might be needed to get an *ahem* accurate measurement, any condom-sizing installation would probably need to be self-cleaning, like those self-cleaning public restrooms you sometimes see in larger cities.


47mb5740sj2k1xsfst40mqbb16bh.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2014-03-23 10:42:40 PM

beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/


Truly, this is a miracle!
 
2014-03-23 10:52:26 PM

Cyno01: Except the scale of things in the Academy Award nominated film Gravity... then in space everything is conveniently near each other.


Ugh. Dont even get me started on Gravity. Neil DeGrasse Tyson trolled it on Twitter and let me tell you, it was pretty hilarious.
 
2014-03-23 10:58:03 PM

beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/


After reviewing the provided material, it now makes sense why some brands feel too tight while others feel like they're sliding off... I had no idea there was so much variation in thickness between brands.

Also, are there seriously 18 different brands that are UNDER 2 inches across?  They make dicks that thin?

Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got to go out and grab some Durex Avanti Bare and Lifestyles KYNG Ribbed.
 
2014-03-23 11:59:23 PM

Rhino_man: beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/

After reviewing the provided material, it now makes sense why some brands feel too tight while others feel like they're sliding off... I had no idea there was so much variation in thickness between brands.

Also, are there seriously 18 different brands that are UNDER 2 inches across?  They make dicks that thin?

Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got to go out and grab some Durex Avanti Bare and Lifestyles KYNG Ribbed.


I never saw one under two inches thick, i am not quite sure how i would react to that.
/lucky for them there are fetishes, including that one.
 
2014-03-24 12:41:22 AM
In Space .. no one can hear you pee ..
 
2014-03-24 01:14:54 AM

beverly8: Rhino_man: beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/

After reviewing the provided material, it now makes sense why some brands feel too tight while others feel like they're sliding off... I had no idea there was so much variation in thickness between brands.

Also, are there seriously 18 different brands that are UNDER 2 inches across?  They make dicks that thin?

Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got to go out and grab some Durex Avanti Bare and Lifestyles KYNG Ribbed.

I never saw one under two inches thick, i am not quite sure how i would react to that.
/lucky for them there are fetishes, including that one.


I think it's a measurement of diameter of the condom when it's not being worn.  Of course they're a bit stretchy... but still, poor fellas.
 
2014-03-24 07:54:18 AM

baorao: Cyno01: Except the scale of things in the Academy Award nominated film Gravity... then in space everything is conveniently near each other.

Ugh. Dont even get me started on Gravity. Neil DeGrasse Tyson trolled it on Twitter and let me tell you, it was pretty hilarious.


That may be true, but black people frowning on white people's shenanigans is really the meme that the world needs right now.
 
2014-03-24 09:11:46 AM
There used to be a company called theyfit.com that did custom(ish) condoms.  You used a printout they provided to gauge your size on their chart and then filled in the exact match for you.  They were great.  Sadly, they only sell in the UK now.   Here's the link to their site for all you lucky Brits.


http://www.theyfit.co.uk/pages/fitkit   N31
 
2014-03-24 10:07:53 AM

Molavian: Valiente: CSB: Watched "Gravity" last night and all I could think of is that the fewer clothes a heavily toned Sandra Bullock wears, the more I'm prepared to overlook her deficit of acting ability.

Her body was stunning.


It was certainly better than her body of work. I think of her as the female Keanu Reeves.
 
2014-03-24 10:16:20 AM

baorao: Cyno01: Except the scale of things in the Academy Award nominated film Gravity... then in space everything is conveniently near each other.

Ugh. Dont even get me started on Gravity. Neil DeGrasse Tyson trolled it on Twitter and let me tell you, it was pretty hilarious.


I did notice that not only were three space stations within 200 km. of each other (which is stunningly unlikely), but so was the exploding satellite debris, which reliably circled the globe at the same altitude. And if it was supposed to be moving at 50,000 miles/hr., it would never be seen, especially if the ISS and the other two space stations were going 17,000 miles/hr. toward the debris. That's 18 miles per second. A marble sized chunk of metal would end to end the ISS and probably explosively decompress it.

I have to numb part of my brain while watching space movies. I favour rum. On the other hand, I thought some of the zero G effects were very well done.
 
2014-03-24 11:26:54 AM

beverly8: Rhino_man: beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/

...Also, are there seriously 18 different brands that are UNDER 2 inches across?  They make dicks that thin?

...

I never saw one under two inches thick, i am not quite sure how i would react to that.
/lucky for them there are fetishes, including that one.


I may very well be misunderstanding, but I think that chart is about circumference, not diameter. So, most on that chart about 2 inches wide, but double that since it's 'like' two layers when flattened, and you get 4 inches around, not across.

From the chart: "The width calculation our condom size chart refers to the condom size (half the circumference of the unstretched condom). You can get this by ... measuring the circumference around your penis and then dividing it by 2."
 
2014-03-24 11:36:04 AM

Valiente: Molavian: Valiente: CSB: Watched "Gravity" last night and all I could think of is that the fewer clothes a heavily toned Sandra Bullock wears, the more I'm prepared to overlook her deficit of acting ability.

Her body was stunning.

It was certainly better than her body of work. I think of her as the female Keanu Reeves.


And yet Speed is such a great movie.
 
2014-03-24 02:43:41 PM

edwoodca: beverly8: Rhino_man: beverly8: http://learn.condomdepot.com/condom-size-chart/

...Also, are there seriously 18 different brands that are UNDER 2 inches across?  They make dicks that thin?

...

I never saw one under two inches thick, i am not quite sure how i would react to that.
/lucky for them there are fetishes, including that one.

I may very well be misunderstanding, but I think that chart is about circumference, not diameter. So, most on that chart about 2 inches wide, but double that since it's 'like' two layers when flattened, and you get 4 inches around, not across.

From the chart: "The width calculation our condom size chart refers to the condom size (half the circumference of the unstretched condom). You can get this by ... measuring the circumference around your penis and then dividing it by 2."


i am going to assume/hope you are correct....never had to measure mine, since i dont have one, so i did not pay too much attention to the chart.
 
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