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(Daily Mail)   Former Texas deputy constable who claimed he was forced to 'motorboat' his female boss has been awarded $567,000 by Galveston County jury. That seems like a lot of money, until you see her pic (w/pics)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 116
    More: Interesting, Galveston County, Texas, Wedding Crashers, british law  
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28020 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2014 at 3:38 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-23 12:41:30 PM  
That poor man.

Prayers out!
 
2014-03-23 01:02:02 PM  
Just close your eyes and pretend it's Paula Deen.
 
2014-03-23 01:10:57 PM  
If Pam from Archer was from Texas, and 50, and a cop, she'd look just like this.  Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.
 
2014-03-23 01:11:15 PM  
Eeeewwwwwww.

/can't be unseen
 
2014-03-23 01:16:37 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

I'm too sexy for my shirt, TOO sexy.
 
2014-03-23 01:33:53 PM  

scumm: Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.


Words fail to express how much hate I have for you.

I'm burning!
 
2014-03-23 01:56:34 PM  

NewportBarGuy: scumm: Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.

Words fail to express how much hate I have for you.

I'm burning!


It's the Heat of the Night
 
2014-03-23 02:00:33 PM  

NewportBarGuy: scumm: Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.

Words fail to express how much hate I have for you.

I'm burning!


I was thinking the long lost spawn of Jay Leno.
 
2014-03-23 02:24:36 PM  

scumm: If Pam from Archer was from Texas, and 50, and a cop, she'd look just like this.  Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.


Pre-coke. Cos this season...well....
 
2014-03-23 02:25:08 PM  
i3.ytimg.com
 
2014-03-23 03:30:13 PM  
This thread won't get many posts.

And by not many I mean an asszillion
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-03-23 03:40:00 PM  
I would do it for less than half a million.
 
2014-03-23 03:41:47 PM  

ZAZ: I would do it for less than half a million.


Get me a little drunk and I'd likely do it for free.
 
2014-03-23 03:41:55 PM  

NewportBarGuy: scumm: Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.

Words fail to express how much hate I have for you.


I hate you, so much...
[stammers]
it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...
 
2014-03-23 03:42:00 PM  
That'll do Pig, that'll do.
 
2014-03-23 03:42:06 PM  

ZAZ: I would do it for less than half a million.


ya, me too. oh, the trauma....boobies. scarred for life that cops is. what a douchebag
 
2014-03-23 03:42:10 PM  
fc01.deviantart.net
 
2014-03-23 03:42:15 PM  
I guess The Sun wasn't there
 
GBB
2014-03-23 03:42:23 PM  
images.askmen.com
"Oh hell no, you sick bastard.  Why would you do that?"
 
2014-03-23 03:43:38 PM  
Too many years in the "good old boys" club just turns women into bigger, meaner "boys." (To say nothing of what it does to all the potential "good cops.")

US Law Enforcement needs an enema.

/amidoinitrite?
 
2014-03-23 03:43:51 PM  
His pic ftfa is classic.  A look of fore-lorn, innocence lost and fear.  Hell, for a half a mil I could whip up some tears.
 
2014-03-23 03:44:46 PM  
theactionelite.com
/artist's rendering
 
2014-03-23 03:45:26 PM  

WTFDYW: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x572]

I'm too sexy for my shirt, TOO sexy.


Looks like leno with boobs..... (your welcome for the mental image)
 
2014-03-23 03:45:36 PM  
It's Large Marge!
 
2014-03-23 03:47:23 PM  
Jennifer Aniston's character from Horrible Bosses exists all over the world. They just never look anything like Jennifer Aniston.
 
2014-03-23 03:47:47 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-23 03:48:27 PM  
Was he motorboating the boobs or the gunt? How could he tell?
 
2014-03-23 03:49:13 PM  
Poontranga!!!!
 
2014-03-23 03:49:34 PM  
"Phil, do you need to go under the shirt?"
 
2014-03-23 03:50:16 PM  

WTFDYW: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x572]

I'm too sexy for my shirt, TOO sexy.


Isn't that Tina Yothers from Family Ties?
 
2014-03-23 03:51:48 PM  
Didn't she hear about FriendFinder? People there will do ANYTHING.

/although maybe not her
 
2014-03-23 03:53:07 PM  
Pretty sure that's Dusty Rhodes in drag.
 
2014-03-23 03:55:10 PM  
I'd motorboat her tits & she could sit on my face for a half million. C'mon man............

/hell, for an extra 5K, I'd put clothespins on her twat lips...........
 
2014-03-23 03:55:56 PM  
I wondered what Jay Leno was up to these days.
 
2014-03-23 03:56:18 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-23 03:58:17 PM  
If she came from behind him and pulled her shirt over his head then his face wouldn't have been interacting with her breasts the back of his head would have. Does that count as motor boating?
 
2014-03-23 03:59:01 PM  
but I thought only men could be sexual harassers
 
2014-03-23 04:00:50 PM  
I think it is great that sexual harassment laws can be applied in the favor of men too.

It still reenforces my opinion that cops are becoming more self-entitled and thin-skinned then the average person on the street.

\What, a tough guy take a little shiat from a woman?  I though he was a guy that put his life on the line daily for the good of humanity?
 
2014-03-23 04:03:45 PM  
dv-ous
Too many years in the "good old boys" club just turns women into bigger, meaner "boys." (To say nothing of what it does to all the potential "good cops.")
US Law Enforcement needs an enema.
/amidoinitrite?


I am here for you buddy!
 
2014-03-23 04:04:33 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: but I thought only men could be sexual harassers


Step 1: be attractive

Step 2: don't be unattractive

Step 3: see step 1
 
2014-03-23 04:05:05 PM  

penis: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 194x259]


Came for this.
Leaving satisfied.
 
2014-03-23 04:05:06 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: I'd motorboat her tits & she could sit on my face for a half million. C'mon man............

/hell, for an extra 5K, I'd put clothespins on her twat lips...........


you... you need help.  I did not need that mental image.

/there are people into just about anything over on the friendfinder site, I'm sure she could have found someone willing for her to abuse
//in the dark, how do you know it isn't some pornstar you're motorboating?
///until she speaks, which sounds something like:images.amcnetworks.comyeah, baby, just like that...
 
2014-03-23 04:07:35 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: NewportBarGuy: scumm: Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.

Words fail to express how much hate I have for you.

I hate you, so much...
[stammers]
it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...


Is this because he schtupping Yvette?
 
2014-03-23 04:09:21 PM  

Jument: ZAZ: I would do it for less than half a million.

Get me a little drunk and I'd likely do it for free.



OK! Here is a little drunk.
www.millionaireplayboy.com
 
2014-03-23 04:09:37 PM  

Enemabag Jones: \What, a tough guy take a little shiat from a woman?  I though he was a guy that put his life on the line daily for the good of humanity?


Not sure if serious...
 
2014-03-23 04:09:58 PM  
I'm shocked she wanted a man to motorboat her.
 
2014-03-23 04:10:33 PM  
Ms. Mann?

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-23 04:12:25 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: but I thought only men could be sexual harassers


Yup, another dolphin caught in the tuna net.
 
2014-03-23 04:13:04 PM  
She is ugly but I'd need to see the tits to know weather or not I would motorboat
 
2014-03-23 04:14:24 PM  

Nick Nostril: Was he motorboating the boobs or the gunt? How could he tell?



i.imgur.com


/ I know it isn't technically a gunt, but it's close enough for this thread.
 
2014-03-23 04:19:02 PM  
i.imgur.com
/quick and dirty
//forgot how to resize layers to make jays face the same size as miss motorboat.
 
2014-03-23 04:19:23 PM  
Tequila.jpg
 
2014-03-23 04:19:45 PM  
I like how her official photo is in front of a book case of classics. Everyone knows the Romans invented motorboating.
 
2014-03-23 04:22:58 PM  
Look, if you're doing it right, you can't see that the face of the target. They probably felt the same as about 90% of all boobs. For a half mil, I think I can live with the shame.
 
2014-03-23 04:24:01 PM  
Yeah, as much as it pains me to do so, I'm going with Leno as well. Guess she's an enthusiast of Albanian "cars".
 
2014-03-23 04:25:21 PM  
I'd motorboat it.

By that I mean take it out in a motorboat, tie an anchor to its neck and toss it overboard.
 
2014-03-23 04:25:29 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
"Tell them Large Marge sent ya!"
 
GBB
2014-03-23 04:26:34 PM  

tuffsnake: If she came from behind him and pulled her shirt over his head then his face wouldn't have been interacting with her breasts the back of his head would have. Does that count as motor boating?


I think that's called getting "Manateed" because the motorboat runs over you.
 
2014-03-23 04:27:34 PM  
Chunky chick night. 'Cause everything is bigger in Texas.
 
2014-03-23 04:29:50 PM  
Eh cry baby. He got way too much money. As long as she doesn't have an ST I say go for it. He is like the family t h at got scared of a cat. Farking pussy is what he is.
 
2014-03-23 04:32:35 PM  

Enemabag Jones: I think it is great that sexual harassment laws can be applied in the favor of men too.

It still reenforces my opinion that cops are becoming more self-entitled and thin-skinned then the average person on the street.

\What, a tough guy take a little shiat from a woman?  I though he was a guy that put his life on the line daily for the good of humanity?


Genma Saotome:  Were you not prepared to lay do your life for the art?
Ranma Saotome:  My life, yes. My manhood is another story.
 
2014-03-23 04:36:20 PM  

jaytkay: "Tell them Large Marge sent ya!"


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-23 04:37:03 PM  

JungleBoogie: [i.imgur.com image 320x568]

 
2014-03-23 04:37:42 PM  
I bet she made a sound like a steamship whistle when she did it.
 
2014-03-23 04:39:19 PM  
I'd take a Strapon for 2 mil
 
2014-03-23 04:46:37 PM  

kortex: I'd take a Strapon for 2 mil


Can you do it for 5 bucks?

/We've already established what kind of person you are. Now we are just haggling about price.
 
2014-03-23 04:48:09 PM  
I've done worse things to worse looking women for free.
 
2014-03-23 04:49:21 PM  
First thing I thought of was Leno references, I see many other twisted people here, too.
 
2014-03-23 05:08:54 PM  

laid back w/bud light: I bet she made a sound like a steamship whistle when she did it.


You mean a foghorn?  I'm pretty sure the two are different things.  Could be wrong.

Yeah, 500k seems a bit excessive, she ain't THAT ugly, she just ugly.

And unlike a woman, the dude in question won't have problems getting a job after all this.  In fact he'll probably get HER job instead of "fired then locked out of the business" like most women who file charges get.
 
2014-03-23 05:21:51 PM  
At least it was a motorboat and not a tug
 
2014-03-23 05:23:06 PM  
Came for the Bonnie Tyler "Total Eclipse of the BUNDT" jokes...

...Leaving...

...you with that AWFUL earwig
 
2014-03-23 05:27:59 PM  
img.fark.netmattstooks.com
 
2014-03-23 05:42:33 PM  
I'd have done it for $50,000.

I ain't proud.

\\\ or rich.
 
2014-03-23 05:43:40 PM  

Whatthefark: Nick Nostril: Was he motorboating the boobs or the gunt? How could he tell?


[i.imgur.com image 400x361]


/ I know it isn't technically a gunt, but it's close enough for this thread.



Why did I decide to read this thread over dinner???

/blech
 
2014-03-23 05:46:00 PM  
Well.. I would've done it for that amount.
 
2014-03-23 05:56:26 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-23 06:05:26 PM  

bobothemagnificent: [img.fark.net image 500x451]


Thanks, I needed my libido ruined for the evening.
 
2014-03-23 06:10:07 PM  
i1211.photobucket.com

That is the face of a man who has seen terrible things.
 
2014-03-23 06:18:53 PM  
FTA:

She also denied pulling her blouse over his head, even if she did do it to some deputies.
"If anybody was in a bad mood, like if Phil was in a bad mood, I would say, 'Phil,' or to anyone, 'Do you need to go under the shirt?," she said in a deposition.
 
2014-03-23 06:18:58 PM  

Vector R: [i1211.photobucket.com image 634x361]

That is the face of a man who has seen terrible things.


static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-03-23 06:26:01 PM  
img.fark.net

Awwwww, yeah.
 
2014-03-23 06:29:11 PM  

michaelgvh: Look, if you're doing it right, you can't see that the face of the target. They probably felt the same as about 90% of all boobs. For a half mil, I think I can live with the shame.


500 grand? HELL yes.
 
2014-03-23 06:44:23 PM  

John Buck 41: michaelgvh: Look, if you're doing it right, you can't see that the face of the target. They probably felt the same as about 90% of all boobs. For a half mil, I think I can live with the shame.

500 grand? HELL yes.


I'd probably do it for 500 bucks.
 
2014-03-23 07:00:37 PM  

JerseyTim: Just close your eyes and pretend it's Paula Deen.


How is that better?
 
2014-03-23 07:01:30 PM  

ManateeGag: JerseyTim: Just close your eyes and pretend it's Paula Deen.

How is that better?


She covers them in melted butter.
 
2014-03-23 07:19:10 PM  
I always thought the motorboat was when you put the dongle in between the breasts. No wonder she said I was doing it wrong.
 
2014-03-23 07:33:57 PM  

rbuzby: I always thought the motorboat was when you put the dongle in between the breasts. No wonder she said I was doing it wrong.


TF doesn't always stand for total fark
 
2014-03-23 07:36:31 PM  

Johnson: FTA:

She also denied pulling her blouse over his head, even if she did do it to some deputies.
"If anybody was in a bad mood, like if Phil was in a bad mood, I would say, 'Phil,' or to anyone, 'Do you need to go under the shirt?," she said in a deposition.


Yeah, it's clear that she engaged in inappropriate behavior and that the deputy in question had a legitimate complaint and even a right to compensation.

The question is degree.
 
2014-03-23 07:43:20 PM  

TheBigJerk: Yeah, it's clear that she engaged in inappropriate behavior and that the deputy in question had a legitimate complaint and even a right to compensation.

The question is degree.


Well, She wiretapped his phone, and he was forced to leave the police force.

Half a million and slapping an ankle bracelet on that biatch sounds like it should be good.


/Ladies, you know how you want to sue creepy creepos for creeping on you? This biatch is a creepy creepo, creeping on a dude.
 
2014-03-23 09:09:42 PM  
Wait I thought she was a Lesbian.
 
2014-03-23 09:29:29 PM  

jaytkay: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x358]
"Tell them Large Marge sent ya!"


I thought of that too but went with what I posted up thread.
 
2014-03-23 09:32:50 PM  
On a serious note, I bet she was cute when she was younger. Like at about 20-25 and then got all bloaty as time went by. She does have a cute face.

/ain't motor boatin that though.
 
2014-03-23 09:37:39 PM  

WTFDYW: On a serious note, I bet she was cute when she was younger. Like at about 20-25 and then got all bloaty as time went by. She does have a cute face.

/ain't motor boatin that though.


Down-turned Brent Musburger eyes and thin lips? No thanks.
 
2014-03-23 09:43:46 PM  
Not amused.

www.topnews.in

/hot link.
 
2014-03-23 09:58:00 PM  
img.fark.net

All aboard for Jellybean Junction, muther flucker!
 
2014-03-23 10:59:34 PM  
img.fark.netimghumour.com
 
2014-03-23 11:20:31 PM  
I don't know of any woman that has ever asked for a motorboat (in this capacity). It's like when you give a dog a raspberry on their belly, they really don't like it, but they will put up with it.
 
2014-03-23 11:22:36 PM  
She also denied pulling her blouse over his head, even if she did do it to some deputies.
'If anybody was in a bad mood, like if Phil was in a bad mood, I would say, 'Phil,' or to anyone, 'Do you need to go under the shirt?," she said in a deposition.


WTF?! How in the hell does anyone, anyone, think that's appropriate in a workplace? You wouldn't pull that shiat in a strip club, never mind at a police station. And, why in the hell would anyone believe her? "Sure, I did it to everyone - but not him, no siree!"
 
2014-03-23 11:24:07 PM  

sandi_fish: I don't know of any woman that has ever asked for a motorboat (in this capacity). It's like when you give a dog a raspberry on their belly, they really don't like it, but they will put up with it.


I do, but the few I know fit a particular stereotype - middle-aged, simultaneously convinced of their own attractiveness and terrified of the idea of it fading. Oh, and, very often, just inebriated enough to allow bad packets through her executive function firewall.
 
2014-03-23 11:24:14 PM  
Did that settlement include compensation for the inevitable road rash?
 
2014-03-23 11:30:57 PM  
So Jay Leno left TV to transition to a woman?
 
2014-03-23 11:31:32 PM  

FormlessOne: sandi_fish: I don't know of any woman that has ever asked for a motorboat (in this capacity). It's like when you give a dog a raspberry on their belly, they really don't like it, but they will put up with it.

I do, but the few I know fit a particular stereotype - middle-aged, simultaneously convinced of their own attractiveness and terrified of the idea of it fading. Oh, and, very often, just inebriated enough to allow bad packets through her executive function firewall.


When did this become about me?
 
2014-03-23 11:43:17 PM  

sandi_fish: FormlessOne: sandi_fish: I don't know of any woman that has ever asked for a motorboat (in this capacity). It's like when you give a dog a raspberry on their belly, they really don't like it, but they will put up with it.

I do, but the few I know fit a particular stereotype - middle-aged, simultaneously convinced of their own attractiveness and terrified of the idea of it fading. Oh, and, very often, just inebriated enough to allow bad packets through her executive function firewall.

When did this become about me?


I'm sorry.  If it's any consolation, I felt pressured into signing the petition.  And we are very firm in our demand for no-motorboat-mondays.
 
2014-03-24 12:09:46 AM  
Thank God.  Mondays suck.
 
2014-03-24 01:40:03 AM  
So that's where Ma and Pa Kettle's kin went to.
 
2014-03-24 03:04:33 AM  
For almost 600 grand, I'd do a lot worse.  That's a shiat ton of money.
 
2014-03-24 04:05:56 AM  

Emposter: For almost 600 grand, I'd do a lot worse.  That's a shiat ton of money.


Actually, it's fark all.

"Enough money" is so much you can keep it all in a bank, and live off the interest without ever touching the principle.

600 grand is not enough to do that. Not enough at all.
 
2014-03-24 04:27:26 AM  

fluffy2097: Emposter: For almost 600 grand, I'd do a lot worse.  That's a shiat ton of money.

Actually, it's fark all.

"Enough money" is so much you can keep it all in a bank, and live off the interest without ever touching the principle.

600 grand is not enough to do that. Not enough at all.


600 grand is enough for just about anybody to pay off all their debt, buy a house (if they haven't already) and live on the cheap doing that thing that they love but doesn't pay well, rather than slogging away at the middle rungs of the corporate ladder for the next 40 years.

It's life-changing money.
 
2014-03-24 04:56:53 AM  

Oldiron_79: So Jay Leno left TV to transition to a woman?


i.dailymail.co.uk

I have company?
 
2014-03-24 05:41:07 AM  

sandi_fish: FormlessOne: sandi_fish: I don't know of any woman that has ever asked for a motorboat (in this capacity). It's like when you give a dog a raspberry on their belly, they really don't like it, but they will put up with it.

I do, but the few I know fit a particular stereotype - middle-aged, simultaneously convinced of their own attractiveness and terrified of the idea of it fading. Oh, and, very often, just inebriated enough to allow bad packets through her executive function firewall.

When did this become about me?


*snort*
 
2014-03-24 05:50:18 AM  

Rhino_man: It's life-changing money.


Go take a look at the people who win the lottery.

The only way money like that will change your life is by ruining it.
 
2014-03-24 09:00:53 AM  
So what you're saying is I have a chance?

Actually, having a boss like her offering to cheer me up with a motorboat sounds kinda nice. Different strokes for different blokes though.
 
2014-03-24 09:44:50 AM  
Not even with her dicK:i1180.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-24 10:52:10 AM  
Where do I sign up?
 
2014-03-24 12:31:57 PM  

penis: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 194x259]


THANK YOU
that is exactly what I saw / cannot unsee
 
2014-03-24 04:05:19 PM  

scumm: If Pam from Archer was from Texas, and 50, and a cop, she'd look just like this.  Possibly Carroll O'Conner in drag too.


Oh ye of little faith:
img.fark.net
 
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