If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(5 News Fayetteville)   If you offer a bank teller $50 to have her spank you, don't be surprised if she has a very low rate of interest   (5newsonline.com) divider line 33
    More: Dumbass, public information officer  
•       •       •

4968 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2014 at 12:23 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-23 12:25:45 AM  
I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar.
She asked me if I'd beat her.
 
2014-03-23 12:26:07 AM  
Jesus, whatever happened to Craigslist?
 
2014-03-23 12:35:15 AM  
The caller stated that he was "Drake Park's father" and that Drake had said the teller was being a [expletive] that day.

Is he married to Epstien's mother?
 
2014-03-23 12:37:25 AM  
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life." - Emo Philips
 
2014-03-23 12:43:28 AM  
So, what? Around 1.9%?

/still a chance
 
2014-03-23 12:46:25 AM  
Was he over drawn?
 
2014-03-23 12:46:48 AM  
img.fark.net
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-23 12:53:54 AM  

red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?


God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?
 
2014-03-23 12:59:57 AM  

GrymReeper: I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar.
She asked me if I'd beat her.


I don't want to talk about it.
 
2014-03-23 01:09:26 AM  

433: red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?

God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?




She does have a bit of an ET thing going on there doesn't she? This lovely young woman also has an unusually long neck. (NSFW) I studied her photographs intently for quite some time before I noticed that.
 
2014-03-23 01:13:05 AM  

Repo Man: 433: red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?

God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?

She does have a bit of an ET thing going on there doesn't she? This lovely young woman also has an unusually long neck. (NSFW) I studied her photographs intently for quite some time before I noticed that.


That's not all that's long on her.
 
2014-03-23 01:13:39 AM  
Jeez, he didn't even *try* to haggle.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-23 01:13:58 AM  

Repo Man: She does have a bit of an ET thing going on there doesn't she? This lovely young woman also has an unusually long neck. (NSFW) I studied her photographs intently for quite some time before I noticed that.


Yowza.  She could model the hell out of collars, or turtlenecks.  And pants, without shirts.
 
2014-03-23 01:15:42 AM  

red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?


files.gamebanana.com
 
2014-03-23 01:19:36 AM  
Apparently he wasn't just satisfied with the bank executives farking him over.
 
2014-03-23 01:36:51 AM  

433: red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?

God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?


Halfway deep-throat me?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-23 02:07:52 AM  

Prof. Frink: 433: red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?

God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?

Halfway deep-throat me?


That may be likely, but let me direct you here
 
bow
2014-03-23 02:22:13 AM  
Good headline, Subby.
 
2014-03-23 02:28:25 AM  
Wow, even more creepy in the comments section: I'm so glad he was caught! He called my Aunt, who had put flyers out because she lost her bird. He told her that his son had killed her bird and buried it, and wanted to know if he should give him spankings; and then proceeded to ask her to come over and spank him herself. Seriously messed up my aunt's head.

Goddammit, just pay a domme already. If you want free spankings from random women you have to at least look less creepy, though a striking resemblance to Chris Hemsworth would probably help too.
 
2014-03-23 02:35:50 AM  
Not clear on what the crime was here, exactly.
 
2014-03-23 02:39:20 AM  
Not condoning what he did, but if it was just one phone call that she could hang up on at any time, should the guy have gotten arrested?  Could a guy get arrested in a bar for using the cheesy If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me line?
 
2014-03-23 02:48:44 AM  

knbwhite: Not condoning what he did, but if it was just one phone call that she could hang up on at any time, should the guy have gotten arrested?  Could a guy get arrested in a bar for using the cheesy If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me line?


I'm guessing he either sounded creepy enough she was scared he'd come into the bank, or, judging from the comments section, he was a known creeper about the town with his weird paddling thing and the police were looking for an excuse to put him in jail. I'm betting there's more back story here.
 
2014-03-23 03:06:12 AM  
The comments below TFA imply that he is a known long time perv. I agree the arrest is probably one more warning to him to knock that crap off.  I'm no lawyer, but I don't see how he could be convicted of the charge though.

Maybe the publicity will enable him to find his soul mate and they'll live happily ever after.  That, or have a big blowup we'll read about in a year or so.
 
2014-03-23 05:28:13 AM  
He should have asked Abby for advise.
 
2014-03-23 06:24:46 AM  
Thanks for pointing out the comments. That's some good stuff right there.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-23 06:34:44 AM  
Clever subby.

/dnrtfa
 
2014-03-23 07:10:59 AM  
Fifty Shades of Redneck.
 
2014-03-23 08:33:26 AM  
Just type some words in dat little internets box and thems wimmin will com over to you and pull your pork.
 
2014-03-23 08:56:20 AM  

Man On Pink Corner: Not clear on what the crime was here, exactly.


He was charged with "Harassing Communication" defined partially as follows:

§ 13A-11-8.
(a)(1)
a. Strikes, shoves, kicks, or otherwise touches a person or subjects him or her to physical contact.
b. Directs abusive or obscene language or makes an obscene gesture towards another person.


If you can be arrested for b. above then half the people in Philly would be arrested every day!
 
2014-03-23 10:20:38 AM  
Of course she's not going to do it.  Nobody likes a cheapskate.
 
2014-03-23 10:42:37 AM  

Kyle Butler: Man On Pink Corner: Not clear on what the crime was here, exactly.

He was charged with "Harassing Communication" defined partially as follows:

§ 13A-11-8.
(a)(1)
a. Strikes, shoves, kicks, or otherwise touches a person or subjects him or her to physical contact.
b. Directs abusive or obscene language or makes an obscene gesture towards another person.


If you can be arrested for b. above then half the people in Philly would be arrested every day!


There's no conceivable way section b. of that law could survive a constitutional challenge.  I'd make a guess that either nobody has been charged with that in years or that it's routinely dismissed so that it won't be challenged.
 
2014-03-23 11:08:42 AM  
static.tvtropes.org

And, after the spankings...
 
2014-03-23 12:58:56 PM  

Repo Man: 433: red5ish: [img.fark.net image 674x1024]
I don't care about spanking.
Now, do you?

God DAMN! look at the neck on that one!  If she were in my car, I'd be afraid of accelerating too fast.  A trampoline could kill her.  Do you think she can somersault?  Or quickly look up from a book?  Rapidly pull a Lay-Z-Boy lever?

She does have a bit of an ET thing going on there doesn't she? This lovely young woman also has an unusually long neck. (NSFW) I studied her photographs intently for quite some time before I noticed that.


She has a neck?
 
Displayed 33 of 33 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report