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(AP)   Americans increasingly give up gum chewing as sales decline 11%. Bazooka Joe inconsolable   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 34
    More: Fail, bazooka, Americans, Mars Inc., chewing gums, Trident, Patti LaBelle, romantic interest, Big Red  
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443 clicks; posted to Business » on 22 Mar 2014 at 11:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-22 09:08:24 AM  
The great Bubblegum Bubble burst.
 
2014-03-22 09:36:12 AM  
They're too busy stuffing their maw with cheap cheese.
 
2014-03-22 11:26:03 AM  
And the Janitors all around the nation rejoiced.
 
2014-03-22 11:28:05 AM  
In other words people in America are too poor to afford gum. News at 11.
 
2014-03-22 11:31:05 AM  
American gum is all mint or fake cinnamon.

Make a decent flavor of chewing gum, sell more gum.
 
2014-03-22 11:33:00 AM  
Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.
 
2014-03-22 11:48:24 AM  
Chewing gum is just weird.

/nope, that's it, no explanation, suck it!
 
2014-03-22 12:04:04 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.


...and we're finished here.
 
2014-03-22 12:09:31 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.


Well played sir.
 
2014-03-22 12:35:17 PM  

clkeagle: Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.

...and we're finished here.


no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%
 
2014-03-22 12:52:32 PM  

dangelder: clkeagle: Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.

...and we're finished here.

no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%


Shut up nerd.
 
2014-03-22 01:56:33 PM  

dangelder: no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%


The extra 1.09% were not gum-related and were directed toward overly pedantic math geeks.
 
2014-03-22 01:58:52 PM  
$1.50 for a pack of Dentyne Ice?
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-22 02:00:25 PM  
Gum industry can't understand why consumers buy less of something when prices are raised and quantity lowered, more at 11.
 
2014-03-22 02:15:25 PM  
I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of ass (munch munch).
 
2014-03-22 03:04:53 PM  

Hi-Chew. All the fun of gum, without the nasty synthetic gum base flavor or disposal issues.

dangelder: clkeagle: Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.

...and we're finished here.

no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%


And we're done here - remember, being technically correct is, indeed, the best kind of correct. Don't listen to the knuckle-draggers.
 
2014-03-22 04:13:37 PM  

dangelder: clkeagle: Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.

...and we're finished here.

no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%


They don't work like that, either.  It depends in large part on what the exchange rate between bubblegum and ass kicking as well as how much you start out with.  Let's say you have 100 units of bubblegum and 100 units of ass kicking, and you can exchange one unit of bubblegum for one unit of ass kicking.  If you have an 11% decrease in bubblegum, you lose 11 units and go down to 89 units of bubblegum.  Those 11 units become 11 units of ass kicking, which brings you up to 111 units of ass kicking.  This is an 11% increase.  However, if you start with 100 units of bubblegum and 200 units of ass kicking, you'd end up with 89 units of bubblegum and 211 units of ass kicking.  This is a 5.5% increase in ass kicking.  If you exchange 1 unit of bubblegum for two units of ass kicking, then 100 bubblegum units and 100 ass kicking units becomes 89 bubblegum units and 122 ass kicking units.  So it really depends on the starting conditions.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm pedantic.
 
2014-03-22 04:15:50 PM  
Since most people chewing gum look and sound like cows chewing cud, this is good news!
 
2014-03-22 05:15:31 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-22 05:45:37 PM  

dangelder: clkeagle: Ivo Shandor: Coincidentally, the rate of ass kicking is up by 11%.

...and we're finished here.

no, we're not. Reciprocals don't work that way! The rate of ass kicking is up only 9.909909%


NOW we're done.
 
2014-03-22 05:49:02 PM  
gum sales are down because kids don't treat grandma with respect today.
i did. i got clark's teaberry gum from grandma
yeah i'm old. fark you.
 
2014-03-22 06:55:57 PM  
Meanwhile, my consumption of gum is up thanks to some mild acid reflux.  They need to thank me.
 
2014-03-22 07:45:22 PM  
Obligatory.

permanentplastichelmet.files.wordpress.com

/Friends, let me tell you about another group of hatemongers that were just following orders...they were called NAZIS!
 
2014-03-22 10:56:20 PM  

doglover: American gum is all mint or fake cinnamon.

Make a decent flavor of chewing gum, sell more gum.


thingd-media-ec6.thefancy.com
 
2014-03-23 12:22:06 AM  
I like gum.  I chew it everyday.  In fact, I chew gum pretty much after every coffee I have (to get rid of coffee breath) and after every tea (to help prevent tooth discoloration).

Sugarless gum only, of course.
 
2014-03-23 12:51:33 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: They're too busy stuffing their maw with cheap cheese.


I was buying cheese yesterday and noticed there wasn't any 'bubble' gum anymore, just breath freshening.

/csn
//and totally true
 
2014-03-23 01:06:52 AM  
Never, ever, liked gum. Hated the texture, you have to spit it out when you're done, and the flavor didn't make up for it. I won't mourn its passing.
 
2014-03-23 02:03:02 AM  
www.itsalldirect2u.com

I buy this stuff in bulk.
 
2014-03-23 03:14:51 AM  
I came for Violet Beauregarde, got Rowdy Roddy instead.  Leaving somewhat satisfied.
 
2014-03-23 06:13:05 AM  

olman: Since most people chewing gum look and sound like cows chewing cud, this is good news!


Amen brother!

Chewing gum is just as disgusting as chewing tobacco, only your jaw doesn't fall off after 15 years. Which is a real shame considering how disgusting it is to listen to someone smack their gum.

/Have you ever listened to someone chew? Really listened? It's vile.
 
2014-03-23 08:12:05 AM  

fluffy2097: olman: Since most people chewing gum look and sound like cows chewing cud, this is good news!

Amen brother!

Chewing gum is just as disgusting as chewing tobacco, only your jaw doesn't fall off after 15 years. Which is a real shame considering how disgusting it is to listen to someone smack their gum.

/Have you ever listened to someone chew? Really listened? It's vile.


You forgot the comparison to a cow chewing its cud and the in-your-face exaggerated gumsmacking and chewing.
 
F42
2014-03-23 12:39:57 PM  
Name me one north-american gum that doesn't have fake sugars in it.

I don't want aspartame, or any of that other stuff, it makes me sick.

So I sometimes chew foreign, weird-tasting gums I find in immigrant shops, but none of the big local brands, because they have decideed to exclude me.
 
2014-03-23 04:34:08 PM  

F42: Name me one north-american gum that doesn't have fake sugars in it.

I don't want aspartame, or any of that other stuff, it makes me sick.

So I sometimes chew foreign, weird-tasting gums I find in immigrant shops, but none of the big local brands, because they have decideed to exclude me.


This is my issue with gum, and why I no longer chew it.
 
2014-03-23 07:20:49 PM  

AngryDragon: In other words people in America are too poor to afford gum. News at 11.


Chewing gum is a right.
 
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