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(The Atlantic)   Hey, parents, leave them kids alone   (theatlantic.com) divider line 69
    More: Obvious  
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6166 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2014 at 8:54 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-21 08:23:06 AM
*guitar solo*
 
2014-03-21 08:43:04 AM
FTA "I have memories of childhood so different from the way my children are growing up that sometimes I think I might be making them up, or at least exaggerating them."

True that.

I suppose one option would be to just let my kids out into the neighborhood willy-nilly and let them be. But if other parents don't follow suit, they would effectively be out there alone. I suppose having the world to explore alone with no one to get in the way of the resources kids are interested in exploiting for fun would be great from a ease of enjoyment standpoint, but then they don't learn to interact with their peers in striving after what others also want. Then there is the village awareness that isn't there in case something does go wrong. Used to be that if Billy or Sally did do something stupid, even if they didn't play with Joey or Susie, the neighborhood whisper chain would provide that Joey and Susie knew about it anyways, and therefore even if parents didn't know the information they needed to know in the event of a problem, it still existed within the neighborhood collective awareness and only had to be retrieved through some inquiry.
 
2014-03-21 08:57:35 AM
cdn.trendhunterstatic.com

/oblig
 
2014-03-21 09:02:19 AM
tl;dr

"Funny Family Guy reference."
 
2014-03-21 09:04:20 AM
This Land is a good land and we shall call it... This Land.
 
2014-03-21 09:07:50 AM
Once our culture decided children were the ultimate status symbol, decided babies were another type of hood ornament, well, then they became things, expensive things that need to be protected. You don't let your prized possession tromp over rough terrain.
 
2014-03-21 09:07:51 AM
I grew up in a neighborhood of 20 boys my own age, with 20 stay at home moms who "seemed" to ignore us, but always managed to catch us when we did anything too stupid.


I felt horribly guilty raising my kids in an apartment complex where I was the only parent that seemed to give a crap if my kid screamed under someone's window.  It wasn't the kind of environment where kids could run free.  On the rare occasions I informed parents that their kids were acting dangerously (ie. playing chicken with oncoming cars,) I felt like those parents were pissed off at being interrupted from a world of warcraft session.

There's a thin line between letting your kids explore the world and letting them terrorize the neighbors.
 
2014-03-21 09:08:35 AM
My brother-in-law put in a slack line, swing, and climbing thingy in their back yard. The neighbors complained.
 
2014-03-21 09:12:26 AM
My brothers and I grew up in a great neighborhood on the edge of town. We had miles of nothing behind us, with a huge creek and 'forest' to explore. Lots of other kids to play and fight with. We were provided bows, arrows, rifles, black powder (for bombs!), tools, etc. Nobody ever lost a finger or toe or eye or whatever. I think we came out better for it.

I'm pretty sure if our parents allowed that sort of thing today, they'd be in jail and we'd be in foster care or something.
 
2014-03-21 09:13:07 AM

somedude210: *guitar solo*


Wrong! Do it again!
 
2014-03-21 09:15:48 AM

InterruptingQuirk: FTA "I have memories of childhood so different from the way my children are growing up that sometimes I think I might be making them up, or at least exaggerating them."

True that.

I suppose one option would be to just let my kids out into the neighborhood willy-nilly and let them be. But if other parents don't follow suit, they would effectively be out there alone. I suppose having the world to explore alone with no one to get in the way of the resources kids are interested in exploiting for fun would be great from a ease of enjoyment standpoint, but then they don't learn to interact with their peers in striving after what others also want. Then there is the village awareness that isn't there in case something does go wrong. Used to be that if Billy or Sally did do something stupid, even if they didn't play with Joey or Susie, the neighborhood whisper chain would provide that Joey and Susie knew about it anyways, and therefore even if parents didn't know the information they needed to know in the event of a problem, it still existed within the neighborhood collective awareness and only had to be retrieved through some inquiry.


Dont forget that with the neighborhood awareness if a parent that was not yours caught you doing something you shouldn't be doing, they would punish you then tell your parents and then you'd get punished again.

As Christopher Titus once said "it takes a village to raise a kid and my dad was the rogue sherriff" (paraphrasing)
 
2014-03-21 09:17:07 AM
Then there's the concern that if your child is injured, children's services or some other agency will claim you're abusing or neglecting them.

When I was a kid living in the Detroit suburbs, in the 70s and 80s, we played neighborhood hide-and-seek.  We hid in people's yards, and you could find someone a mile away at some park during such a game.  We ran all over the place.  We just had to be home by the time the streetlights came on.

We used to play in each other's back yards, during that time kids weren't holed up playing video games.  One time we went up to a school I used to attend and one of my crazy cousins actually climbed up onto the roof.
 
2014-03-21 09:23:41 AM
l1.yimg.com

Approves
 
2014-03-21 09:23:49 AM

Ker_Thwap: There's a thin line between letting your kids explore the world and letting them terrorize the neighbors.


As a kid, there are benefits to both :)

KingKauff: Dont forget that with the neighborhood awareness if a parent that was not yours caught you doing something you shouldn't be doing, they would punish you then tell your parents and then you'd get punished again.


The idea of another parent laying down the law today. Unfathomable.

Miss Alexandra: When I was a kid living in the Detroit suburbs, in the 70s and 80s, we played neighborhood hide-and-seek. We hid in people's yards, and you could find someone a mile away at some park during such a game. We ran all over the place. We just had to be home by the time the streetlights came on.


Apparently, we are the same age, or close enough. We used to play flashlight tag. That meant after it got dark, a dozen of us would be out running through people's back yards, jumping fences with one kid having a flashlight looking for the rest before they made it back to base. I can't imagine the night stalker/gang/terrorism police calls that would result today.
 
2014-03-21 09:31:26 AM
Fuqqqqq YEAH.
 
2014-03-21 09:32:42 AM
My concern with letting my kid roam free once he's no longer a toddler isn't concern for evil people or that my kid might do something too stupid, it's that you could replace the drivers in my neighborhood with moderately trained chimps and nobody would know the difference.
 
2014-03-21 09:35:24 AM
It's funny- I feel guilty every time I just kick my kids outside and tell them to go play without going out with them.

Then I think back to my childhood- we played in the woods, with a stream and an active train track.   One of my friends had a tree fort we slept in all the time, with woods porn and even occasionally some beer we'd smuggled out.  The train track had been cut out of a hill and there was a couple of acres covered in huge boulders of razor sharp slate- we spent a *lot* of time there.  My parents virtually never checked up on us unless I wanted them too.  (The time I came back with two snakes biting me I couldn't get off?  That was a Mom moment...)

Yet despite checking up on them frequently outside and shuttling them to flute lessons and karate and soccer like any other modern parent, I'm on the far end of giving our kids freedom.  We limit the amount of planned activities, since they seem to go nuts unless they do get to just run around outside sometimes.  Even then they don't roam as far as I used to- my wife (and others) freaked out a little back when my younger one was 6 and I let him ride his bike around a half-mile loop road out of my sight for a few minutes.  Why not?  He wanted to, he could ride pretty well and it's the back end of a residential neighborhood with tons of other kids around.
 
2014-03-21 09:36:14 AM

Miss Alexandra: Then there's the concern that if your child is injured, children's services or some other agency will claim you're abusing or neglecting them.

When I was a kid living in the Detroit suburbs, in the 70s and 80s, we played neighborhood hide-and-seek.  We hid in people's yards, and you could find someone a mile away at some park during such a game.  We ran all over the place.  We just had to be home by the time the streetlights came on.

We used to play in each other's back yards, during that time kids weren't holed up playing video games.  One time we went up to a school I used to attend and one of my crazy cousins actually climbed up onto the roof.


I grew up in the Detroit burbs too.When I was a kid,two little girls were murdered in a small patch of woods a street away from me by a teenage kid sniffing glue.Although it freaked everybody out our parents did not lock us up out of fear instead they instructed us to "stay out of that woods",not all woods,just that one as if that woods had special child killing properties. They caught the kid,life went on and our parents did not overreact,I really don't know why parents have lost that perspective,but it's gone.
 
2014-03-21 09:43:13 AM
Yeah, the lack of consensus with the other parents is part of the problem.  I know there are other parents who have a hands-off approach, and you can tell when you interact with them.  They half-heartedly tell little Timmy to stop playfighting because that's what expected, not because they actually care.  Or, even if you find that both you and another parent are in agreement, a third, unrelated parent (usually a mom) will intervene and give you the stinkeye for not stopping it.  They're 3, and they're playfighting, and having fun, leave them alone.

Unless someone/thing is on fire or there's blood, figure it out yourselves.  That's how social skills are learned, not just by modelling.

Also, start young. I had my 3 year old son in tears because I forced him to get a stool and try to get his coat out of the closet.  We had lived with his grandmother for a while and she got him used to idea that all adults are supposed to cater to his every whim (sidenote - she does this because she's a passive-aggresive control freak and doesn't want kids to be able to do things on their own because of the mess).  Trying to unprogram that is near impossible.  Let your kid make a mess.  Let your kid make choices for himself (even if they're young and not particularly rational yet).  They'll thank you later.
 
2014-03-21 09:44:31 AM
That's a post-apocalyptic playground. It's actually... sort of cool. Just let me re-up my tetanus shot.
 
2014-03-21 10:05:43 AM

Kali-Ma: Yeah, the lack of consensus with the other parents is part of the problem.  I know there are other parents who have a hands-off approach, and you can tell when you interact with them.  They half-heartedly tell little Timmy to stop playfighting because that's what expected, not because they actually care.  Or, even if you find that both you and another parent are in agreement, a third, unrelated parent (usually a mom) will intervene and give you the stinkeye for not stopping it.  They're 3, and they're playfighting, and having fun, leave them alone.

Unless someone/thing is on fire or there's blood, figure it out yourselves.  That's how social skills are learned, not just by modelling.

Also, start young. I had my 3 year old son in tears because I forced him to get a stool and try to get his coat out of the closet.  We had lived with his grandmother for a while and she got him used to idea that all adults are supposed to cater to his every whim (sidenote - she does this because she's a passive-aggresive control freak and doesn't want kids to be able to do things on their own because of the mess).  Trying to unprogram that is near impossible.  Let your kid make a mess.  Let your kid make choices for himself (even if they're young and not particularly rational yet).  They'll thank you later.


:D Yay! You mean, I'm not a bad parent for sleeping in sometimes on the weekends, and letting a 4 and 3 year try things out themselves? We make them help clean up if they make a mess, and explain that food messes take a lot of work to clean back up, but otherwise let them free range in the living room. :)

When they're older, and it's warm out, we'll kick them outside.
 
2014-03-21 10:12:20 AM
The center of the playground is dominated by a high pile of tires that is growing ever smaller as a redheaded girl and her friend roll them down the hill and into the creek. "Why are you rolling tires into the water?" my son asks. "Because we are," the girl replies.

Best response ever from a kid :)
 
2014-03-21 10:16:06 AM
Let's see, I am 49, what did I do as a kid (say 6-13 years old)?

1) Made bombs (black powder and potassium chlorate/sulfur).
2) Made incendiary devices from powdered aluminum.
3) Went rat hunting unsupervised with a .22 caliber rifle.
4) Was left at home along while my parents went out for the evening.
5) Rode around the neighborhood on my bike for hours. I would range about 2-3 miles.
6) Played in the wood unsupervised where we built forts out parents never saw.
7) Went everywhere with my BB gun and shot anything I could that would not get me in trouble.
8) Went exploring in the storm sewers (have to admit that the parents had a cow about this, we kept doing it anyway)

I think modern parents are crazy. I raised my son like I was; l I even let him get his motorcycle license when he was 15. Everyone tells me how mature he is, and how far he is ahead of his peers. He is 20, working full time as a firefighter and going to school full time at a top 20 state university. I feel sorry for most kids today, they are generally helpless.

CSB?
 
2014-03-21 10:18:09 AM
Oh, I was also allowed to use the table saw, jointer, acetylene torch and all other tools unsupervised. I was welding when I was in third grade. My dad bought a jewelers torch for me.
 
2014-03-21 10:31:25 AM

WhatIsLongPork: Oh, I was also allowed to use the table saw, jointer, acetylene torch and all other tools unsupervised. I was welding when I was in third grade. My dad bought a jewelers torch for me.


I wouldn't mind this so much as long as the kid was taught how to use these tools without getting injured. Because severed fingers are no joke. I'd say it also depends on the kid. My eldest could probably handle these on his own by the age of 10, after being shown/told how. I'm not sure about the second kid yet. He still hasn't gotten a grasp on running with his head up to watch out for things he could run into. :\
 
GBB
2014-03-21 10:35:25 AM
Last line of TFA: "I'm wet," Gideon said to Christian, and then they raced over to claim some hammers to build a new fort.


LOLWUT?
 
Ant
2014-03-21 10:41:28 AM

InterruptingQuirk: I suppose one option would be to just let my kids out into the neighborhood willy-nilly and let them be. But if other parents don't follow suit, they would effectively be out there alone.


And you'll be reported to CPS. The current climate of parental peers does not allow unsupervised children.

At age 8, the same age my son is now, I used to roam the length and breadth of our city during the with my friends and get into all sorts of mischief. Granted, our city was mid-70s Boise, ID, which is a lot smaller than 2014 Seattle, WA where we live now, but even in Boise parents don't allow their kids to roam anymore.

Sometimes I think my mom might have been kind of negligent. I don't know. What do you guys think?
 
2014-03-21 10:42:22 AM
This article feels greatly exaggerated in some places. I'm only 19, but was raised similarly as some of the older people on this thread. I played in the woods, made forts, climbed trees, went farther than I should've, made mud pies, and did experiments. I went to a stuffy private school, but even the shiny playground there was mostly ignored (save for by the very young children), since most kids either played with balls or made forts/climbed trees/played pretend in the playground forest. The meat of the article is correct, though, in saying that children need opportunities to act as individuals by exploring and creating. I think that this extends to things beyond just playing. Pigeonholing children into certain activities and arts and subjects according to what adults feel is acceptable stunts creative thinking and problem solving. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with having some flexible guidelines for things, but a society can't advance if things are only done as they've always been.
 
Ant
2014-03-21 10:47:52 AM

Kali-Ma: Or, even if you find that both you and another parent are in agreement, a third, unrelated parent (usually a mom) will intervene and give you the stinkeye for not stopping it.  They're 3, and they're playfighting, and having fun, leave them alone.


This too.

I figure that kids need to develop conflict resolution skills, so unless someone is bruised and/or bleeding, I let them sort it out amongst themselves.
 
2014-03-21 10:54:01 AM
I was born in 1973 (just turned 41).  This is so true (though obviously it's no longer 2007) :

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack of his truck.

1973: Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his truck and gets his to show Jack.

2007: School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1973: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1973: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007: Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1973: Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1973: Ants die.

2007: BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

1973: In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.
 
2014-03-21 10:57:27 AM
Almost every aspect of how I was raised (in a Canadian suburb and not some backwoods holler) would appear to be child abuse today...and yet it was the 1970s.

I carried from age seven or so on house keys, matches, caps, a folding knife and assorted coins, which were self-earned as I had a small paper route from age eight onward. I rode a bike with no helmet (to be unscabbed was rare between April and November) and I used to ride everywhere, including major roads, without fear. When I wasn't picking up smokes for my parents from the store, I would be building forts or boats or breaking into abandoned factories or construction sites for fun. I was expected to show up at noon for lunch and six for dinner. I needed to be home for "dark" or "street lights" on, but my parents only had a sketchy idea where I was, particular from the age of 10-11 onward.

We jumped across roofs and climbed antenna towers. We went to and from school undriven and unaccompanied. We knew how to make change, and if we saw a guy's robe "fall open", we would scream and point and laugh about how miserable his junk was, which brought other people out on to their porches. Then we would put a rock through his window.

Cops were for directions.

My parents' car didn't have seat belts until I was seven. We built models and got high from the glue and paint, after which we would burn the models. In winter, we jumped off roofs into snowbanks. We canoed down swollen creeks with no PFDs or those lame kapok-filled "life jackets". One kid bit a hole in his tongue doing that...shiat happened. Every fall some kid would be sporting a cast and would have a cool, gory story. Chemistry sets could be hacked to make minor explosives. Firecrackers were available and able to detonate early, which could make your fingers numb for days. If you weren't crippled or blinded by my childhood, you grew up strong and skilled.

Oh, and the girls would hang out and a boy could learn a lot from that.

So it's safe to say I enjoyed my childhood, and the freedom to roam and get into things was a big part of that. My folks wanted me to "report" at specific times, and I built up trust by not screwing that up.

By consistently proving I could meet their requirements that I arrive home on time, I got extensions to that time to the point where I could basically stay out all night by 16. They knew I wouldn't go wrong, or rather, go wrong in a way that would involve them.

It's infinitely harder to do this as a parent today.
 
2014-03-21 10:59:25 AM

InterruptingQuirk: Ker_Thwap: There's a thin line between letting your kids explore the world and letting them terrorize the neighbors.

As a kid, there are benefits to both :)

KingKauff: Dont forget that with the neighborhood awareness if a parent that was not yours caught you doing something you shouldn't be doing, they would punish you then tell your parents and then you'd get punished again.

The idea of another parent laying down the law today. Unfathomable.

Miss Alexandra: When I was a kid living in the Detroit suburbs, in the 70s and 80s, we played neighborhood hide-and-seek. We hid in people's yards, and you could find someone a mile away at some park during such a game. We ran all over the place. We just had to be home by the time the streetlights came on.

Apparently, we are the same age, or close enough. We used to play flashlight tag. That meant after it got dark, a dozen of us would be out running through people's back yards, jumping fences with one kid having a flashlight looking for the rest before they made it back to base. I can't imagine the night stalker/gang/terrorism police calls that would result today.


Same here, although I would cork up my face, and wear all black to wander around like some five foot tall cat burgler. Today I'd be shot for being brown after dark.
 
2014-03-21 11:02:08 AM
TIME!
CAR!
...
...
...
...
*zoom*
*crunch*
...
Someone get a new stick!
Car just broke second base!
...
OK!
 
2014-03-21 11:02:46 AM
I grew up in the sticks so my playground was outdoors. Fields, forests, swamps, etc. There were a few other kids to play with or a lot of the time I was out on my own, or with my sister. We would bike into town unsupervised. I fell out of a tree, broke bones sledding, crashed my bike and picked gravel out of my skin.. My job was to shoot the chipmunks with a 20 gauge that kicked like a mule so I had to strap gloves on my shoulder to lessen the recoil. During summers my mom would kick us out after breakfast. We had a dinner bell on the back porch that she would ring when it was time for lunch or dinner. After that home by dark. Which in the summer was around 9-10pm. I have lots of memories of trying things out. Like making dishes from clay we dug out of a ditch. Or eating wild apples and strawberries. Double dog dares with an electric fence. All the stuff that bored country kids would do.

If I ever have kids I plan to raise them in a similar way. It's tough to say though because I also remember all the stuff we did that should have gotten us killed. I can talk tough now but It's probably a bit harder when your kid is dead because he fell out of a tree and landed wrong. Risk of life and all that but still. I can't imagine how it would feel...
 
2014-03-21 11:04:57 AM
Eh, after reading "STFU Parents" (http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/ ) for awhile, I believe this shiat isn't about the kids, really. Like everything else, it's about the gigantic attention whores who think that literally everything about them, everything that concerns them, everything that comes out of them is the most important thing in the world and the rest of us just don't understand that.

It's not about love for a child and wanting nothing bad to happen to him/her. It's about everyone knowing that that parent (usually, but not always, the mother) is the bestest mom in the whole world. The mother against whom all other mothers throughout history are judged - and found wanting. The mother who has redefined, for all time, the word "mother." The mother who cares more about her offspring than anyone ever will. Ever. Including the kid's future spouse.

So in that sense, it's helpful that these people out themselves early on, so that future partners of their unfortunate children will have ample warning and don't do anything stupid, like marry them.
 
2014-03-21 11:07:32 AM
So you can either smother your kids by being overprotective, or you can allow them to play in a hobo's landfill. There is no in-between.

/don't forget the tetanus shots!
 
2014-03-21 11:10:40 AM
FYI, when I was a kid (1970s and '80s) we played in a dump site (illegal, I'm sure) a couple blocks from our house. Our mother told us not to go there, but she didn't do anything stupid like forbid us to go outside. She wanted us to get the hell out of there as much as we wanted to leave (she was kinda crabby).

We're all still alive today, despite not being constantly supervised by an adult.
 
2014-03-21 11:11:22 AM
We used to roam the neighborhood from sun up to dinner time.  You would eat lunch at someone's house and the parents didn't care as long as I was home for supper.  Everybody knew everyone else on the block.  When I was 11 or 12 a kid in my class was kidnapped when he was out riding bikes.  That changed everything.  He was never found.
 
2014-03-21 11:12:11 AM
I do have to keep a closer watch on my 12-year-old son due to his developmental delay/mild autism.  He's extremely outgoing and friendly.  That's good...but not if he winds up saying "hi" to some pervert.  He's smart, but social situations, that's another story.

He loves working with tools.  I get him old toys at Goodwill that he can take apart.  If I'm missing a screwdriver chances are it's in his room.  He knows what he can or can't take apart, so his TV is safe.  I can ask him to get me a Philips or flathead screwdriver and he knows what I'm talking about.
 
2014-03-21 11:26:31 AM
If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding!
 
2014-03-21 11:27:30 AM
 
2014-03-21 11:27:47 AM

Valiente: We built models and got high from the glue and paint, after which we would burn the models.


Wow, I thought I was the only one who did that! We would build model ships, set them on fire while floating in a pond, and sink them by shooting with BB guns.
 
2014-03-21 11:30:07 AM
I really wish I could let go that much.
I am too damn fearful.

I love my kids beyond measure and if something were to happen to them that I could prevent? I would never forgive myself.

My damn little snowflakes are very special to me.

But I think back to my own childhood, filled with mystery, excitement and craziness. My friend down the street whose mother would not let her go past the big hill... she was the one who ended up prego and wild. She had the cool playhouse but no imagination.

Am I raising my kids to be like that? I try to let them play... limit computer and wii time. (shiat, I never had that... I had lots of books.)

Makes me wonder... what the hell are we doing?
 
2014-03-21 11:38:12 AM

Miss Alexandra: I do have to keep a closer watch on my 12-year-old son due to his developmental delay/mild autism.  He's extremely outgoing and friendly.  That's good...but not if he winds up saying "hi" to some pervert.  He's smart, but social situations, that's another story.

He loves working with tools.  I get him old toys at Goodwill that he can take apart.  If I'm missing a screwdriver chances are it's in his room.  He knows what he can or can't take apart, so his TV is safe.  I can ask him to get me a Philips or flathead screwdriver and he knows what I'm talking about.


Is this something that some adults don't think a 12 year old boy would know? That would be sad and surprising for me.
 
2014-03-21 11:43:26 AM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Eh, after reading "STFU Parents" (http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/ ) for awhile, I believe this shiat isn't about the kids, really. Like everything else, it's about the gigantic attention whores who think that literally everything about them, everything that concerns them, everything that comes out of them is the most important thing in the world and the rest of us just don't understand that.

It's not about love for a child and wanting nothing bad to happen to him/her. It's about everyone knowing that that parent (usually, but not always, the mother) is the bestest mom in the whole world. The mother against whom all other mothers throughout history are judged - and found wanting. The mother who has redefined, for all time, the word "mother." The mother who cares more about her offspring than anyone ever will. Ever. Including the kid's future spouse.

So in that sense, it's helpful that these people out themselves early on, so that future partners of their unfortunate children will have ample warning and don't do anything stupid, like marry them.


Nah, it is knowing that bad things can happen in this world, and you don't want it to happen to your kids.

I would never claim the title of bestest mom. I am worst. mom. evar. I make them do some chores. i let them make choices and live with the choice.

My 7 year old daughter and my nephew (also 7) decided to go to the playground, less than a quarter of a mile away. They took my 3 year old with them. They didn't tell anyone where they were going. So husband, asks where they are and I answer I don't know. He does an errand and reports when he comes back that they indeed went to the playground. It was a logical place for them to be and I feel like it was OK they did this. All the outside air and running made them sleep very well that night.

But what if???
 
2014-03-21 11:45:25 AM

WhatIsLongPork: Valiente: We built models and got high from the glue and paint, after which we would burn the models.

Wow, I thought I was the only one who did that! We would build model ships, set them on fire while floating in a pond, and sink them by shooting with BB guns.


We never built them, but would acquire them, and then strap them to bottle rockets and launch them.
 
2014-03-21 12:02:00 PM

redmid17: Miss Alexandra: I do have to keep a closer watch on my 12-year-old son due to his developmental delay/mild autism.  He's extremely outgoing and friendly.  That's good...but not if he winds up saying "hi" to some pervert.  He's smart, but social situations, that's another story.

He loves working with tools.  I get him old toys at Goodwill that he can take apart.  If I'm missing a screwdriver chances are it's in his room.  He knows what he can or can't take apart, so his TV is safe.  I can ask him to get me a Philips or flathead screwdriver and he knows what I'm talking about.

Is this something that some adults don't think a 12 year old boy would know? That would be sad and surprising for me.


Brace yourself, then. By which I mean very few kids today would know what a brace is of the non-dental variety.
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-21 12:04:48 PM
 
2014-03-21 12:06:41 PM

Valiente: redmid17: Miss Alexandra: I do have to keep a closer watch on my 12-year-old son due to his developmental delay/mild autism.  He's extremely outgoing and friendly.  That's good...but not if he winds up saying "hi" to some pervert.  He's smart, but social situations, that's another story.

He loves working with tools.  I get him old toys at Goodwill that he can take apart.  If I'm missing a screwdriver chances are it's in his room.  He knows what he can or can't take apart, so his TV is safe.  I can ask him to get me a Philips or flathead screwdriver and he knows what I'm talking about.

Is this something that some adults don't think a 12 year old boy would know? That would be sad and surprising for me.

Brace yourself, then. By which I mean very few kids today would know what a brace is of the non-dental variety.
[img.fark.net image 266x190]


Eh I'm not sure I've ever used one of those or even seen my dad use one. If we needed to hold something down or in place, we usually used a C clamp. I'm not exactly ancient either. I'm only 27. There is a world of difference between an augur brace and a screwdriver though.
 
2014-03-21 12:07:06 PM

Valiente: redmid17: Miss Alexandra: I do have to keep a closer watch on my 12-year-old son due to his developmental delay/mild autism.  He's extremely outgoing and friendly.  That's good...but not if he winds up saying "hi" to some pervert.  He's smart, but social situations, that's another story.

He loves working with tools.  I get him old toys at Goodwill that he can take apart.  If I'm missing a screwdriver chances are it's in his room.  He knows what he can or can't take apart, so his TV is safe.  I can ask him to get me a Philips or flathead screwdriver and he knows what I'm talking about.

Is this something that some adults don't think a 12 year old boy would know? That would be sad and surprising for me.

Brace yourself, then. By which I mean very few kids today would know what a brace is of the non-dental variety.
[img.fark.net image 266x190]


That looks like a drill to me. I've got one just like it. Is it properly called a brace?
 
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