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(ABC News)   Russia 'bewildered' by US sanctions. "We thought you'd rename Beef Stroganov to Freedom Stew and be done with it"   (abcnews.go.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, Russia, United States, sanctions, Dmitry Peskov, President Vladimir Putin, commodities trading  
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8905 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2014 at 8:16 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-21 11:04:04 AM  
I imagine the Ukraine situation a little something like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I just wanted you to know you're sittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That's a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I said throw down, boy!

i.imgur.com
The world: ......
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-21 11:04:11 AM  

Tricky Chicken: And we should all be able to agree that Clinton was a stronger president on the world stage than President Obama.


Yeah, remember when Clinton killied bin Laden and started to normalize relations with Iran? GOOD TIMES.
 
2014-03-21 11:05:06 AM  

Laobaojun: The sanctions will unify Russia and give Putin prestige among all the countries and people who have issues with the US. Great going US. You just did exactly what Putin was expecting you to do.Of course, it only takes a room temperature IQ to figure out how the US would respond. Tomorrow, Ric Romero will report that the sanctions aren't having the effects that the US hoped for.


Exactly!  So let's start a war, because that NEVER unifies the attacked population!
 
2014-03-21 11:06:31 AM  

MechaPyx: I imagine the Ukraine situation a little something like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I just wanted you to know you're sittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That's a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I said throw down, boy!

[i.imgur.com image 484x184]
The world: ......
[i.imgur.com image 320x180]


Thank you Mayor Giuliani.
 
2014-03-21 11:11:54 AM  

Weidbrewer: Man, I clicked the link just hoping that someone said, "Freedom Stew" and left disappointed


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Freedom Stew don't need to advertise
 
2014-03-21 11:11:58 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Tricky Chicken: And we should all be able to agree that Clinton was a stronger president on the world stage than President Obama.

Yeah, remember when Clinton killied bin Laden and started to normalize relations with Iran? GOOD TIMES.


Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed? Or when Clinton allowed Egypt to fall into the control of radical muslims?  Good Times.  At least Clinton never appeased Iran, you are right there.
 
2014-03-21 11:15:58 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?


By "jack squat" do you mean forced Syria to run to daddy for help, and got the chemical weapons dismantled without force? Because if so, yes, Obama did "jack squat"

Tricky Chicken: Clinton allowed Egypt to fall into the control of radical muslims?


Umm. What?
 
2014-03-21 11:17:45 AM  

amindtat: incendi: RevCarter: the term you're looking for is "Caucasian"

You do know where the Caucasus region is, right?

In the pelvis?


Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
Dude: On you maybe.
 
2014-03-21 11:18:01 AM  

macross87: I guess I will cancel my Russian vacation. It was either Siberia or Montana. But I always wanted to see Montana.


Be sure to buy some rabbits and a pickup truck while you are there.
 
2014-03-21 11:19:14 AM  
Whatever happened to that star wars missile shield thing we had going a few years back that seemed to really bother Russia?

Maybe getting that going again would get their attention.
 
2014-03-21 11:19:15 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?


with North Korea, yeah. W did too... All presidents use that kind of rhetoric...
 
2014-03-21 11:23:53 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?

By "jack squat" do you mean forced Syria to run to daddy for help, and got the chemical weapons dismantled without force? Because if so, yes, Obama did "jack squat"


Wow, when did that happen? Go ahead, look to see what finally came from that. Syria is repeatedly missing timetables, and re-negotiating deliveries. Refusing to destroy known factories.  And it is uncertain if they have begun construction on new facilities. I am however surprised that they haven't stopped cooperating altogether at this point since we are wimping out on Ukraine at this point.
 
2014-03-21 11:27:35 AM  
Protip, subby -- I'm all for the good lines (and liked this one), but if you put it in quotes, it should probably  actually be in the article.
 
2014-03-21 11:28:16 AM  

macross87: I guess I will cancel my Russian vacation. It was either Siberia or Montana. But I always wanted to see Montana.


The dental floss fields are particularly beautiful this time of year.
 
2014-03-21 11:28:36 AM  

Headso: Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?

with North Korea, yeah. W did too... All presidents use that kind of rhetoric...


Who gives a fark about W? Or is that the standard you want President Obama to live up to? Ooohh hey there, you are a worthless piece of crap, but at least you arent a flaming runny disease laden smear of crap. Good for you. Way to set the bar so low.
 
2014-03-21 11:30:32 AM  

lelio: These sanctions plus $3 will get you a cup of coffee. Since when did Putin give a rats ass about public opinion or economic hardship? The only language he understands comes from the barrel of a gun.


Or plutonium in the tea.
 
2014-03-21 11:32:48 AM  

Tricky Chicken: monoski: Russian stock market took a tumble on the news for those of you who would say Obama tactics are weak and we want a president who runs around acting tough.

oooo, that'll learn 'em. They will surely cave now that their portfolios took a percentage point hit! That Obama is a bad ass.

I bet they cave much faster than Iran did over their nuclear program.


Money is a whole lot more effective than riding a horse around shirtless and killing off journalist and political opponents in your own country.
Tell me, would you rather have Putin over Obama for your president?
 
2014-03-21 11:34:18 AM  

Private_Citizen: The latest twist I heard was this: Russia supplied the Ukraine will cheap gas in exchange for the use of a military base in Crimea. But, since Crimea is now Russian, the deal is off - oh yeah, and the Ukraine owes Russia 11 Billion dollars for the cheap gas it's no longer entitled too.

/Extortion. It's the Russian way.


Expecting someone to pay market price isn't extortion.

Also:  http://en.itar-tass.com/russia/721385 , do note that it was the new "illigimate" Ukrainian parliament that wanted to cancel the deal already at the 28th of February. Something that obviously helped Russia to decide that they were tired of Ukraines bullshiat.

FYI Ukraine only recieved a 10% rebate for the Sevastopol deal, so the price is hardly changed. What has changed is that Ukraine is a deadbeat which didn't pay the cheap price either, and Russia to a large extend let them get away with it because politics. That's why they owe 11 billion dollars, because they didn't even pay for the cheap gas.

---

Ukraine obviously needs economic aid, because its broke. But the question is how USA and the EU feels about giving Ukraine aid, when they know that it'll go to repay the money they owe Russia.
 
2014-03-21 11:38:20 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Headso: Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?

with North Korea, yeah. W did too... All presidents use that kind of rhetoric...

Who gives a fark about W? Or is that the standard you want President Obama to live up to? Ooohh hey there, you are a worthless piece of crap, but at least you arent a flaming runny disease laden smear of crap. Good for you. Way to set the bar so low.


uh, I was mentioning that both Clinton and W used redline type rhetoric with NK as other presidents have done with other nations in the past. You're the one holding Obama at a different standard than all other presidents in modern history for some reason.
 
2014-03-21 11:39:09 AM  

monoski: Tricky Chicken: monoski: Russian stock market took a tumble on the news for those of you who would say Obama tactics are weak and we want a president who runs around acting tough.

oooo, that'll learn 'em. They will surely cave now that their portfolios took a percentage point hit! That Obama is a bad ass.

I bet they cave much faster than Iran did over their nuclear program.

Money is a whole lot more effective than riding a horse around shirtless and killing off journalist and political opponents in your own country.
Tell me, would you rather have Putin over Obama for your president?


So in your bizarre ultimatum, Putin would have to be a natural born US citizen and as president he would be restrained by the limitations of the checks and balances of the US federalism system.  In that case Putin.

Or, are we in a feckless system where Obama would be unrestrained by any checks and balances? In that case I would emigrate.
 
2014-03-21 11:39:13 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Damn! My [img.fark.net image 850x640]hopes of flying this are over


No you're still good. Antonov is from Ukraine, not Russia.
 
2014-03-21 11:39:54 AM  

Rapmaster2000: FLMountainMan: Rapmaster2000: birchman: To the people who think Obama is a weak leader and is handling this situation poorly, what do you think he should be doing? I'm genuinely curious. What could he do tomorrow that would make you come in here and say "Great job Obama"?

He needs to show strength and not weakness.  He needs to show leadership.  Putin has seen how Obama BOWS to our enemies and Putin has taken note.

Also, would it kill Obama to wrestle a wolverine with his shirt off?  I would also accept a badger, but a raccoon is completely unacceptable.

fark wrestling the wolverine.  He needs to smash a Budweiser bottle over it's head and then pull out an AR-15 with a 100 round magazine and go to town on it.

Too weak.  Putin can sense weakness.  Obama needs a Browning M1919 with Biden standing next to him holding 5000 rounds in a cardboard box.
[voidagger.files.wordpress.com image 850x478]


IIRC, he got the machine gun from a WWII vet, who pulled it out of a closet and it looked like MG34 and was a war trophy, and by the Bronson got down to the street, it had turned into a Browning. I could be wrong, I saw this during a "movie night" my friends use to have, and we were always stoned and drunk when we watched them.  Either way, I remember remarking that they were pretty liberal with the war trophies, if they let you bring back a light machine gun and ammo.  Also, I said, the Army said "No!" to my request, to take my M-16 home with me, when I got out, why did he get to take the Browning.
 
2014-03-21 11:40:27 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Once again, Obama plays patty-cake while Global Chessmaster Putin consolidates his ranks into a formidable front of oil oligarchs and gargantuan gas investments.  Obama's hippie hatred of freedom fracking has imperiled our allies and emboldened the enemy.  Libutardo libulardos are outmatched by my awesomely alliterative righteously right right-wing talking points!


8/10 would bite again
 
2014-03-21 11:42:40 AM  

RaiderFanMikeP: the Ukraine should vote to annex Russia then have everyone in the western world recognize it

change all the maps to replace Russia with Ukraine


Why not?  It's has about the same level of legitimacy.
 
2014-03-21 11:47:46 AM  

Tricky Chicken: but then, gas was an outrageous 45 cents a gallon or something.  I just wish we could go back to the cheap gas days of Bush.


Remind me, which particular days were those?
 
2014-03-21 11:49:37 AM  

Rapmaster2000: FLMountainMan: Rapmaster2000: birchman: To the people who think Obama is a weak leader and is handling this situation poorly, what do you think he should be doing? I'm genuinely curious. What could he do tomorrow that would make you come in here and say "Great job Obama"?

He needs to show strength and not weakness.  He needs to show leadership.  Putin has seen how Obama BOWS to our enemies and Putin has taken note.

Also, would it kill Obama to wrestle a wolverine with his shirt off?  I would also accept a badger, but a raccoon is completely unacceptable.

fark wrestling the wolverine.  He needs to smash a Budweiser bottle over it's head and then pull out an AR-15 with a 100 round magazine and go to town on it.

Too weak.  Putin can sense weakness.  Obama needs a Browning M1919 with Biden standing next to him holding 5000 rounds in a cardboard box.


Lol.

Replace wolverine with a hungry honey badger.

Fight is useless without pics.
 
2014-03-21 11:55:30 AM  

Headso: Tricky Chicken: Headso: Tricky Chicken: Then Clinton drew a red line then did jack squat when it got crossed?

with North Korea, yeah. W did too... All presidents use that kind of rhetoric...

Who gives a fark about W? Or is that the standard you want President Obama to live up to? Ooohh hey there, you are a worthless piece of crap, but at least you arent a flaming runny disease laden smear of crap. Good for you. Way to set the bar so low.

uh, I was mentioning that both Clinton and W used redline type rhetoric with NK as other presidents have done with other nations in the past. You're the one holding Obama at a different standard than all other presidents in modern history for some reason.


You couldn't be more wrong. I am comparing him to President Clinton and Clinton alone. And President Obama falls far far short of that mark. Oh, and please back up your charge that Clinton used red-line rhetoric against NK and never backed it up.

incendi: Tricky Chicken: but then, gas was an outrageous 45 cents a gallon or something.  I just wish we could go back to the cheap gas days of Bush.

Remind me, which particular days were those?


The first term when gas prices were only a buck or so then started creeping up. With the brief exception of the very begining of his presidency, Obama has presided over the absolute worst average gas prices of any presidency.

I would just love to have gas prices at ANY level they ever were during the Clinton presidency.
 
2014-03-21 11:56:38 AM  

MechaPyx: Russia: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...


I'm guessing that's something different than smoking my skinwagon
 
2014-03-21 12:05:50 PM  

Tricky Chicken: You couldn't be more wrong. I am comparing him to President Clinton and Clinton alone. And President Obama falls far far short of that mark. Oh, and please back up your charge that Clinton used red-line rhetoric against NK and never backed it up.


On his weekend visit to South Korea, President Clinton warned that if North Korea developed and used an atomic weapon, "we would quickly and overwhelmingly retaliate."
"It would mean the end of their country as they know it," he said.


During that time NK did develop nuclear weapons and tested delivery systems and ordnance related to detonation of those weapons.
 
2014-03-21 12:09:39 PM  

RexTalionis: Tyrone Slothrop: I think they're bewildered that we think sanctions will have any influence on Putin.

/so am I

The MICEX index has basically wiped about 70+ billion dollars worth of value off of the American markets.

The 2% projected GDP increase has basically been wiped out - it is likely that 2014 will see no GDP increase and stay flat, or even a mild decline.

Bank Rossiya, which handles banking for many of Russia's oligarchs and handles Gazprom's pensions, has been frozen out of most international transactions.

Bank Rossiya and another Russia bank no longer have access to Visa and Mastercard to handle credit card transactions, so hundreds of thousands of Russians can no longer use their bank cards or ATMs.

The Russian Ruble dropped almost 10% against the dollar, which means everything they import is now more expensive than it was.

Standard & Poors and Moody's Analytics have downgraded Russia's investment prospects and credit ratings, which means bonds will cost Russia more and investors will be less likely to invest there.

Foreign investors have already withdrawn nearly 35 billion investment dollars from Russia in the last two weeks and that could increase to something like 50 billion a quarter if the sanctions continue.

Russia lost several weapons contracts with the UK and France, which means they're not going to get the weapons system they need to upgrade their military.

Several of the oligarchs are locked out of their US assets (bank accounts, property, etc.).

In the longer term, if Europe is no longer as sure a market for Russian gas, then they are forced rely on China to conduct business. China will no doubt use the leverage to gouge as cheap a gas price as they can.


That's nice, but how does that affect Putin? Russians are used to hardship, especially when they see a threat from an outside force.
 
2014-03-21 12:09:58 PM  

Private_Citizen: The latest twist I heard was this: Russia supplied the Ukraine will cheap gas in exchange for the use of a military base in Crimea. But, since Crimea is now Russian, the deal is off - oh yeah, and the Ukraine owes Russia 11 Billion dollars for the cheap gas it's no longer entitled too.

/Extortion. It's the Russian way.


Fine.    See how much gas Russia can sell without using Ukrainian pipelines.
 
2014-03-21 12:16:50 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: Private_Citizen: The latest twist I heard was this: Russia supplied the Ukraine will cheap gas in exchange for the use of a military base in Crimea. But, since Crimea is now Russian, the deal is off - oh yeah, and the Ukraine owes Russia 11 Billion dollars for the cheap gas it's no longer entitled too.

/Extortion. It's the Russian way.

Fine.    See how much gas Russia can sell without using Ukrainian pipelines.


That's how Ossetia got "annexed".
 
2014-03-21 12:23:15 PM  

Tricky Chicken: The first term when gas prices were only a buck or so then started creeping up. With the brief exception of the very begining of his presidency, Obama has presided over the absolute worst average gas prices of any presidency.

I would just love to have gas prices at ANY level they ever were during the Clinton presidency.


Oh, so you're just using the presidents as a convenient way to refer to time periods, you don't actually think they have a significant effect on gas pricing. Fair enough.
 
2014-03-21 12:54:50 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: BHShaman: I wonder what would happen if the South tried to cede from the United States this century.
Just an interest supposition. How time makes things so different.

I remember learning about the US Civil War in elementary school and not understanding why it was cool for the US to declare independence from England, but not cool for the south to declare independence from the United States.

It always struck my as hypocritical and I always felt like the South should have been able to go it's merry way.  But, even today, that's a horribly unpopular opinion to have.  But yeah, it'd be interesting to know how it would play out now.


A rebellion is only treason if you lose.
 
2014-03-21 12:57:14 PM  

BHShaman: I wonder what would happen if the South tried to cede from the United States this century.
Just an interest supposition. How time makes things so different.



The south fired the first shots, so not really following your logic on that one.
 
2014-03-21 01:00:24 PM  

Tricky Chicken: FoxKelfonne: Tricky Chicken: Pants full of macaroni!!: birchman: To the people who think Obama is a weak leader and is handling this situation poorly, what do you think he should be doing? I'm genuinely curious. What could he do tomorrow that would make you come in here and say "Great job Obama"?

In before "Step down and let a Real Republican Man be president".

Yeah, that is about the only thing he could do at this point to mollify the right wing, or to get Putin to blink.  the last time we had a democrat president this week, you could only fuel your car on every other weekday.

I only fuel my car once a week at most, so, hooray?

but then, gas was an outrageous 45 cents a gallon or something.  I just wish we could go back to the cheap gas days of Bush.


Ah yes, back to the days of Bush when Americans feared gas would hit $5/gal.  Let's go back to that.
 
2014-03-21 01:11:37 PM  

chuggernaught: Tricky Chicken: FoxKelfonne: Tricky Chicken: Pants full of macaroni!!: birchman: To the people who think Obama is a weak leader and is handling this situation poorly, what do you think he should be doing? I'm genuinely curious. What could he do tomorrow that would make you come in here and say "Great job Obama"?

In before "Step down and let a Real Republican Man be president".

Yeah, that is about the only thing he could do at this point to mollify the right wing, or to get Putin to blink.  the last time we had a democrat president this week, you could only fuel your car on every other weekday.

I only fuel my car once a week at most, so, hooray?

but then, gas was an outrageous 45 cents a gallon or something.  I just wish we could go back to the cheap gas days of Bush.

Ah yes, back to the days of Bush when Americans feared gas would hit $5/gal.  Let's go back to that.


Because we should just shut up and be happy with an aberage $3.60 a gallon? I thought we were only going to punish the evil rich people that make more than $150,000/yr? Don't poor people use gas too?

http://money.cnn.com/2012/12/31/news/economy/gas-prices/
 
2014-03-21 01:12:55 PM  

Tricky Chicken: Slaves2Darkness: Tricky Chicken: Ok, why is the news covering the missing airplane so much more than the Ukraine? I get hours of 'we still don't know anything about the flight' interrupted with one liners about major developments about Ukraine.

Because the Ukraine issue is a complex geo-political economic issue that has no clear "good guy" and no clear "winner".  The missing plane is an easy issue and fascinates the mouth breathing portion of our population. Where as Ukraine just confuses them, because really who cares what one group of commies does to another group of commies.

But even on a simple view of the amount of available content, It makes no sense.  They are filling hour upon hour about the plane saying the exact same level of nothing. It is missing and we are still looking can only be rephrased so many times.

But there have been loads of developments in Ukraine. There are history angles to explore, demographic differences in the area to examine. Resource availability to discuss. Local military capability to explain. Geographic importance to point out. I havent heard a wit about the charge of the light brigade, and I am wearing a cardigan right now.

Ukraine seems to be a much more rich topic to explore.


If you could research the complex history of the former USSR on twitter then they would have more information to pass on. All reporters do these days is regurgitate tweets.
 
2014-03-21 01:14:53 PM  
Flibberty Cabbage!

I'm boycotting caviar blintzes.
 
2014-03-21 01:17:26 PM  

Tricky Chicken: Slaves2Darkness: Tricky Chicken: Ok, why is the news covering the missing airplane so much more than the Ukraine? I get hours of 'we still don't know anything about the flight' interrupted with one liners about major developments about Ukraine.

Because the Ukraine issue is a complex geo-political economic issue that has no clear "good guy" and no clear "winner".  The missing plane is an easy issue and fascinates the mouth breathing portion of our population. Where as Ukraine just confuses them, because really who cares what one group of commies does to another group of commies.

But even on a simple view of the amount of available content, It makes no sense.  They are filling hour upon hour about the plane saying the exact same level of nothing. It is missing and we are still looking can only be rephrased so many times.

But there have been loads of developments in Ukraine. There are history angles to explore, demographic differences in the area to examine. Resource availability to discuss. Local military capability to explain. Geographic importance to point out. I havent heard a wit about the charge of the light brigade, and I am wearing a cardigan right now.

Ukraine seems to be a much more rich topic to explore.


Well, there is the "media is in the bag for a sideshow to obama failings"....

then there is the more likelihood that people are more worried about a plane getting hijacked than
Russia annexing part of a country, simply because lots of people get on planes and not many people are worried that Russia is going to annex part of their country.
 
2014-03-21 01:23:47 PM  

Tricky Chicken: Because we should just shut up and be happy with an aberage $3.60 a gallon?


What's your plan? biatching on the internet doesn't do much. Are you suggesting we should do a better job of regulating the markets?

Anyway, it's not that bad, at least according to Cato. (Well, Cato while a Republican in office. I'm sure they're outraged now.)
 
2014-03-21 01:27:10 PM  

Mentat: MechaPyx: I imagine the Ukraine situation a little something like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I just wanted you to know you're sittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That's a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I said throw down, boy!

[i.imgur.com image 484x184]
The world: ......
[i.imgur.com image 320x180]

Thank you Mayor Giuliani.


Close, but no. No no no. An accurate reflection of Giuliani would look more like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I jutht wanted you to know you're thittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That'th  a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, thkin it! Thkin that thmokewagon and thee what happenth...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gath, now jerk that pithtol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I thaid throw down, boy!
 
2014-03-21 01:35:48 PM  

Marmilman: Mentat: MechaPyx: I imagine the Ukraine situation a little something like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I just wanted you to know you're sittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That's a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I said throw down, boy!

[i.imgur.com image 484x184]
The world: ......
[i.imgur.com image 320x180]

Thank you Mayor Giuliani.

Close, but no. No no no. An accurate reflection of Giuliani would look more like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I jutht wanted you to know you're thittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That'th  a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, thkin it! Thkin that thmokewagon and thee what happenth...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gath, now jerk that pithtol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I thaid throw down, boy!


If you want to truly reflect Guiliani, you need to work in at least 100 references to 9/11.
 
2014-03-21 01:41:05 PM  

FLMountainMan: I think the sanctions are about the best Obama could do.  It's a shiatty situation.  And I think they have a better than expected chance of effecting change.  Beats going to war, and beats not doing anything.

Epic Fap Session: And Fark Independents continue to root for the US to fail.

Stay classy

This comment is in every thread about Crimea.  Notable absent from every thread about Crimea are comments where Fark independents root for the US to fail.  You guys have really taken your savior's "There are those..." strategy to a whole new level.



If I ever get around to compiling some "Rules of Fark" list, I may have to keep this as an illustration of the rule that there is no statement in a Fark thread so obviously untrue that there isn't any Farker bold (or stupid) enough to assert its truth.

No matter how much people may express outrage or mirth at it.
 
2014-03-21 02:15:38 PM  

Marmilman: Close, but no. No no no. An accurate reflection of Giuliani would look more like this:

Russia: *walks into the saloon, look around, walks over to Ukraine*
Ukraine: *looks up* Somethin' on your mind?
Russia: I jutht wanted you to know you're thittin' in my chair.
Ukraine: Is that a fact?
Russia: That'th a fact.
Ukraine: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Russia: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
*takes Crimea*
Everyone else: *starts reaching for their gun*
Russia: Go ahead, thkin it! Thkin that thmokewagon and thee what happenth...
The world: M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
Russia: *slap in the face* I'm gettin' tired of all your gath, now jerk that pithtol and go to work!
Russia: *slaps 'em harder* I thaid throw down, boy!


I'm more thinking:

2.bp.blogspot.com
"You can keep the rest of your country, along with the body of the officer we shot. But if I see you again - you motherfarkers! - well, look at him." [points to naval officer's corpse]
 
2014-03-21 02:26:31 PM  

RexTalionis: Tyrone Slothrop: I think they're bewildered that we think sanctions will have any influence on Putin.

/so am I

The MICEX index has basically wiped about 70+ billion dollars worth of value off of the American markets.

The 2% projected GDP increase has basically been wiped out - it is likely that 2014 will see no GDP increase and stay flat, or even a mild decline.

Bank Rossiya, which handles banking for many of Russia's oligarchs and handles Gazprom's pensions, has been frozen out of most international transactions.

Bank Rossiya and another Russia bank no longer have access to Visa and Mastercard to handle credit card transactions, so hundreds of thousands of Russians can no longer use their bank cards or ATMs.

The Russian Ruble dropped almost 10% against the dollar, which means everything they import is now more expensive than it was.

Standard & Poors and Moody's Analytics have downgraded Russia's investment prospects and credit ratings, which means bonds will cost Russia more and investors will be less likely to invest there.

Foreign investors have already withdrawn nearly 35 billion investment dollars from Russia in the last two weeks and that could increase to something like 50 billion a quarter if the sanctions continue.

Russia lost several weapons contracts with the UK and France, which means they're not going to get the weapons system they need to upgrade their military.

Several of the oligarchs are locked out of their US assets (bank accounts, property, etc.).

In the longer term, if Europe is no longer as sure a market for Russian gas, then they are forced rely on China to conduct business. China will no doubt use the leverage to gouge as cheap a gas price as they can.


These results seem more like chess playing - and a larger gamble by Obama than people realize - it is a much more complex strategy

Guns and dick-waving is the real checkers game -
 
2014-03-21 02:44:55 PM  

incendi: Tricky Chicken: Because we should just shut up and be happy with an aberage $3.60 a gallon?

What's your plan? biatching on the internet doesn't do much. Are you suggesting we should do a better job of regulating the markets?

Anyway, it's not that bad, at least according to Cato. (Well, Cato while a Republican in office. I'm sure they're outraged now.)


A 150% increase in 8 years is not that bad?!

Ok Baghdad Bob, how farked up do things have to get before you notice?
 
2014-03-21 02:55:59 PM  

Tricky Chicken: incendi: Tricky Chicken: Because we should just shut up and be happy with an aberage $3.60 a gallon?

What's your plan? biatching on the internet doesn't do much. Are you suggesting we should do a better job of regulating the markets?

Anyway, it's not that bad, at least according to Cato. (Well, Cato while a Republican in office. I'm sure they're outraged now.)

A 150% increase in 8 years is not that bad?!

Ok Baghdad Bob, how farked up do things have to get before you notice?


inflationdata.com

When you adjust it for inflation, the price of gas is roughly equivalent to how it was during the Bush years and how it was during the Reagan years and not as bad as the Great War years.
 
2014-03-21 03:03:24 PM  

RexTalionis: When you adjust it for inflation, the price of gas is roughly equivalent to how it was during the Bush years and how it was during the Reagan years and not as bad as the Great War years.


Shush!  You and your "constant dollars".
 
2014-03-21 03:08:16 PM  

Tricky Chicken: A 150% increase in 8 years is not that bad?!

Ok Baghdad Bob, how farked up do things have to get before you notice?


That was Cato, in 2006, with gas a little over $3.00 - not too far from where we're at now, 8 years later. Yeah, the increase sucked, but for the most part, people have found more interesting things to complain about than somewhat high, but at least relatively steady gasoline prices.

Besides, are you wanting Obama to do something, or are you just whining?
 
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