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(Yahoo)   And the new leader in the race for baseball's silliest injury is Adrian Gonzalez, who hurt his back while sightseeing in Sydney. Sammy Sosa's sneezing snafu still the Major League record   (sports.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, Adrian Gonzalez, Sammy Sosa, Major League Baseball, injuries, baseball, neck muscles, soreness, Bondi Beach  
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605 clicks; posted to Sports » on 20 Mar 2014 at 5:50 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-20 04:52:43 PM  
I've just got my fingers crossed for "huntsman spider drops out of sun visor and causes fainting spell for Zack Greinke".
 
2014-03-20 05:54:07 PM  
Didn't Wade Boggs hurt himself putting on his boots?

I think there was an Astros reliever who stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a CD too.
 
2014-03-20 06:01:33 PM  
I can see how walking around a lot after a very long plane ride would possibly cause someone's back to flare up...this isn't really quite on the same scale of missing the playoffs because you hurt your arm playing Guitar Hero.  That being said, if he's having a back issue the dumbest thing he could do would be to tough it out and hurt himself worse and miss games that count in the standings.
 
2014-03-20 06:03:02 PM  

Shame Us: Didn't Wade Boggs hurt himself putting on his boots?

I think there was an Astros reliever who stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a CD too.



jeez, there's a million stupid baseball injuries:

the guy that sneezed himself into a spleen injury

the rockie that fell down stairs carrying out game meat to his car, claimed he slipped on ice

jeff kent breaking his wrist doing wheelies, then telling the team he slipped in the shower

the dude that spent too long in a tanning bed, got sunburnt (because you never, ever spend lots of time in teh sun PLAYING BASEBALL)

the dude just this season cutting lunchmeat or some shiat, misssed and hacked his finger all to hell

i think a dude suffered a "fractured testicle" this past season after taking  a ball to the, well, balls

just last year some dude was wrestling his dog ("i'll be in my lab"?) and i think got rugburn, missed a start

another dude broke his arm trying to scare his kids, slammed a door on his arm, broke it
 
2014-03-20 06:07:15 PM  

Shame Us: Didn't Wade Boggs hurt himself putting on his boots?

I think there was an Astros reliever who stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a CD too.


I think that was Jason Insringhausen and it was a DVD. If I'm remembering correctly, he also hit the injured list for both falling out of his hotel and contracting TB... not at the same time.
 
2014-03-20 06:07:41 PM  
Is this going to be the thread that a bunch of guys who sit a a desk all day will claim that they go to work with injuries that baseball players sit for, and call baseball players pussies despite the fact the injury will prevent a baseball player from being able to preform a specific function critical to the game?
 
2014-03-20 06:08:00 PM  
Pretty sure "Derek Holland trips over dog, falls down stairs" is still tops for this year.
 
2014-03-20 06:08:02 PM  

rickythepenguin: the dude that spent too long in a tanning bed, got sunburnt (because you never, ever spend lots of time in teh sun PLAYING BASEBALL)


Marty Cordova...they were in Seattle right after that. He fell asleep in a tanning bed. He had legit burns on his face.
 
2014-03-20 06:10:15 PM  

ongbok: Is this going to be the thread that a bunch of guys who sit a a desk all day will claim that they go to work with injuries that baseball players sit for, and call baseball players pussies despite the fact the injury will prevent a baseball player from being able to preform a specific function critical to the game?


I call in hangnail like twice a week.
 
2014-03-20 06:10:33 PM  
Kazuhiro Sasaki broke 2 ribs 'carrying a suitcase up the stairs', that's still a pretty high bar to beat.  Also, I seem to remember Ken Griffey Jr breaking his hand slipping in the shower, although I can't verify that on the googles so maybe I'm making that one up.
 
2014-03-20 06:10:46 PM  
rickythepenguin:

the rockie that fell down stairs carrying out game meat to his car, claimed he slipped on ice

Clint Barmes...I went to the game earlier that day with my family and told them "This kid's going to be good..." and Barmes did play pretty well.  And then hurt himself carrying deer meat.

I think my all time favorite stupid baseball injury was Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
 
2014-03-20 06:12:36 PM  
When is the last time you wrestled 4 greased up old men in Speedos on a beach subby, HUH!
 
2014-03-20 06:15:24 PM  
I've always been a fan of Joel Zumaya (yes I had to google him) injuring himself playing Guitar Hero
 
2014-03-20 06:16:02 PM  

Craw Fu: Kazuhiro Sasaki broke 2 ribs 'carrying a suitcase up the stairs', that's still a pretty high bar to beat.  Also, I seem to remember Ken Griffey Jr breaking his hand slipping in the shower, although I can't verify that on the googles so maybe I'm making that one up.


Griffey had two breaks with the MAriners, one was his wrist crashing into the wall on an amazing catch in 1995 and the other was a hamate bone suffered while checking his swing. Maybe he did something sumb with the Reds and/or White Sox?
 
2014-03-20 06:17:10 PM  

orangehat: Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.



oh, great one...yeah, that was not very smart.

Chucky Carr (?) blew his knee out trying to make a highlight reel catch. or to rephrase, he had a routine fly ball that he waited until the last second to start running for (this is called, "Bo Jacksoning") in an effort to make it seem like he was making this crazy athletic play.  Carr caught his knee on the seam between the warning track and grass, POP, game motherfarking over.


i kinda recall a player missing a game for "nintendo thumb" or "Sega thumb" or some shiat.  maybe blackberry thumb.
 
2014-03-20 06:17:41 PM  

orangehat: I think my all time favorite stupid baseball injury was Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.


To be fair, Bradley was basically tackled by his coach (Bruce Bochy, I want to say?). It wasn't just a situation where he was holding him back, he actually put him on the ground and torn his ACL.
 
2014-03-20 06:17:58 PM  

orangehat: rickythepenguin:

the rockie that fell down stairs carrying out game meat to his car, claimed he slipped on ice

Clint Barmes...I went to the game earlier that day with my family and told them "This kid's going to be good..." and Barmes did play pretty well.  And then hurt himself carrying deer meat.

I think my all time favorite stupid baseball injury was Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.


I was always kinda sympathetic to Bradley.  He seemed like a sometimes decent guy who had rage issues and just completely lost it whenever he hit a certain point.  Plus, that tantrum in particular was started by the umpire yelling at Bradley after he took first base on a walk.

Isn't he in prison now or something?  Bradley, not the ump.

/John Smoltz burning himself ironing a shirt that he was wearing is the winner.
//Smoltz insists it never happened, though.
 
2014-03-20 06:21:08 PM  

rickythepenguin: jeez, there's a million stupid baseball injuries:


and to go the other way, Mark Grace tells a story of when he and Maddux were Cubs, and Maddux was having an uncharacteristically erratic day on the mound.  Gracie calls time, walks over to the mound and asks Maddux what's wrong.  Maddux turns towards him, and....well....says something like, "dude, look!"  Now, I've only heard Gracie tell the story on the radio but he says basically, Maddux was gesturing towards his package.  Maddus says something like, "dude, I can't explain it, but....i'm freakin' horny as hell right now!  I can't concentrate!"

Gracie quips, "you really love to pitch, don't you?"
 
2014-03-20 06:21:17 PM  

Dafatone: Isn't he in prison now or something? Bradley, not the ump.


Attacked his wife with a bat, if I'm not mistaken.

"On June 3, 2013, Bradley was convicted on nine counts of physically attacking and threatening his wife including four counts of spousal battery, two counts of criminal threats, one count of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of vandalism and one count of brandishing a deadly weapon. On July 2, 2013, he was sentenced to 7 years of probation, 960 days in the Los Angeles County Jail, and 400 hours of community service.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton_Bradley_(baseball)#cite_n ote-69">[69] Half of the community service must be served coaching Little League baseball. The jail portion of Bradley's sentence has been stayed pending appeal. Just over two months later, on September 14, 2013, Monique Bradley passed away.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton_Bradley_(baseball)#cite_note -70">[70] The cause of her death has not been made public."

According to Wikipedia.
 
2014-03-20 06:24:32 PM  

Dafatone: //Smoltz insists it never happened, though.


*obligatory retelling of the time I met Rickey at my local grocery store*


the season was just about to start but Rickey wasn't in camp.  this was circa 2005 or so it might have been his first year out of baseball.  anyways.  i'm walking out, this fit black dude with two younger girls (his duaghters, it turns out) were with him.  Rickey had a black shirt with either "FBI" or "CIA" in big ass letters.  I'm like, "whoa, i recognize him.....who the hell....."  an dthen I'm like, "holy crap, Rickey, how you doin', man?"  he was really nice, huge smile, shook my hand.  I said something like, "i hope a team signs you, Rickey!"  he goes, "I do too man, I do too!"

i always say, I wish so very badly he would have said "rickey do too, man, rickey do too!" because then, that would be the time ricky met Rickey and Rickey went Rickey on ricky.
 
2014-03-20 06:25:18 PM  

rickythepenguin: Shame Us: Didn't Wade Boggs hurt himself putting on his boots?

I think there was an Astros reliever who stabbed himself in the stomach trying to open a CD too.


jeez, there's a million stupid baseball injuries:

the guy that sneezed himself into a spleen injury

the rockie that fell down stairs carrying out game meat to his car, claimed he slipped on ice

jeff kent breaking his wrist doing wheelies, then telling the team he slipped in the shower

the dude that spent too long in a tanning bed, got sunburnt (because you never, ever spend lots of time in teh sun PLAYING BASEBALL)

the dude just this season cutting lunchmeat or some shiat, misssed and hacked his finger all to hell

i think a dude suffered a "fractured testicle" this past season after taking  a ball to the, well, balls

just last year some dude was wrestling his dog ("i'll be in my lab"?) and i think got rugburn, missed a start

another dude broke his arm trying to scare his kids, slammed a door on his arm, broke it


Wow, compared to those, Brett Cecil slicing his finger open while cleaning a blender sounds reasonable.
 
2014-03-20 06:26:26 PM  

Shame Us: orangehat: I think my all time favorite stupid baseball injury was Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

To be fair, Bradley was basically tackled by his coach (Bruce Bochy, I want to say?). It wasn't just a situation where he was holding him back, he actually put him on the ground and torn his ACL.


Bud Black restrained him. At the time the Padres were in the lead for the wild card spot. They didn't end up making the playoffs that year. It was a huge injury because even thought the Padres picked him up midseason, he was clearly the best hitter they had at the time.
 
2014-03-20 06:26:30 PM  

rickythepenguin: Now, I've only heard Gracie tell the story on the radio but he says basically, Maddux was gesturing towards his package. Maddus says something like, "dude, I can't explain it, but....i'm freakin' horny as hell right now! I can't concentrate!"



oh shiat, i left out, Gracie says something like, "fellas, all I can say is that when i looked down, it was rather clear to me that, uhhh, Greg was, shall we say, 'excited'.  ok?  that's all I'm gonna say."  and I said, "you really, really love to pitch, don't you?"
 
2014-03-20 06:28:59 PM  
l.yimg.com

snake_beater: just last year some dude was wrestling his dog ("i'll be in my lab"?) and i think got rugburn, missed a start


you stay classy, Gio Gonzales
 
2014-03-20 06:34:13 PM  
Didn't ARod go on the DL because of a sprained vagina?
 
2014-03-20 06:36:33 PM  
the guy injured his back greeting a kid at a mall during his stay in boston, so no, i aint surprised
 
2014-03-20 06:39:53 PM  
One vote for injuring your spleen while shoveling snow and being forced into retirement for it. (Carl Pavano)
 
2014-03-20 06:41:34 PM  
It may not be as pathetic, but in terms of comedy value, Glenallen Hill (another former Cub...) still has the top spot imo from when he fell out of bed, crashed through a glass table, and then fell down a flight of stairs because he got too scared from a nightmare he had about spiders

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenallen_Hill#Personal_life
 
2014-03-20 06:42:09 PM  
Vince Coleman during 1985 NL injuried himself by get rolled up in the infield tarp.
 
2014-03-20 06:43:01 PM  

obeymatt: Shame Us: orangehat:


I was at the play-in game between the Padres and Rockies and I would imagine that if they had him for that last week of the season that game may never have happened.
 
2014-03-20 06:57:01 PM  

rickythepenguin: orangehat: Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.


oh, great one...yeah, that was not very smart.

Chucky Carr (?) blew his knee out trying to make a highlight reel catch. or to rephrase, he had a routine fly ball that he waited until the last second to start running for (this is called, "Bo Jacksoning") in an effort to make it seem like he was making this crazy athletic play.  Carr caught his knee on the seam between the warning track and grass, POP, game motherfarking over.


i kinda recall a player missing a game for "nintendo thumb" or "Sega thumb" or some shiat.  maybe blackberry thumb.


Nintendo thumb was Lionel Simmons, basketball. Too much game boy
 
2014-03-20 07:18:38 PM  

ElwoodCuse: rickythepenguin: orangehat: Milton Bradley blowing his knee out because was having a tantrum and was being restrained by a coach and messed up his knee with his team in the running for a playoff spot...couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.


oh, great one...yeah, that was not very smart.

Chucky Carr (?) blew his knee out trying to make a highlight reel catch. or to rephrase, he had a routine fly ball that he waited until the last second to start running for (this is called, "Bo Jacksoning") in an effort to make it seem like he was making this crazy athletic play.  Carr caught his knee on the seam between the warning track and grass, POP, game motherfarking over.


i kinda recall a player missing a game for "nintendo thumb" or "Sega thumb" or some shiat.  maybe blackberry thumb.

Nintendo thumb was Lionel Simmons, basketball. Too much game boy

 
Pretty sure a Cubs pitcher got carpal tunnel from spending too much time on the internet.
 
2014-03-20 07:20:08 PM  
all these injuries have nothing on Dustin "I threw my back out eating pancakes" Penner.
 
2014-03-20 07:21:47 PM  

rickythepenguin: i kinda recall a player missing a game for "nintendo thumb" or "Sega thumb" or some shiat. maybe blackberry thumb.


Nintendo thumb is no joke, rubbing your thumb raw on controller buttons sucks. Means you can't play video games for a day or two :(
 
2014-03-20 07:50:16 PM  
Sightseeing in Australia is farking dangerous, people.
rlv.zcache.com.au
 
2014-03-20 07:54:01 PM  

rickythepenguin: Dafatone: //Smoltz insists it never happened, though.

*obligatory retelling of the time I met Rickey at my local grocery store*


the season was just about to start but Rickey wasn't in camp.  this was circa 2005 or so it might have been his first year out of baseball.  anyways.  i'm walking out, this fit black dude with two younger girls (his duaghters, it turns out) were with him.  Rickey had a black shirt with either "FBI" or "CIA" in big ass letters.  I'm like, "whoa, i recognize him.....who the hell....."  an dthen I'm like, "holy crap, Rickey, how you doin', man?"  he was really nice, huge smile, shook my hand.  I said something like, "i hope a team signs you, Rickey!"  he goes, "I do too man, I do too!"

i always say, I wish so very badly he would have said "rickey do too, man, rickey do too!" because then, that would be the time ricky met Rickey and Rickey went Rickey on ricky.


My favorite "Rickey story" got debunked, but it's still plausible and hilarious:  The Olerud "I had a teammate with the Blue Jays that wore a helmet on the field" story.
 
2014-03-20 07:55:28 PM  
Chris Brown missing a game because of a sprained eyeball is always a classic.

And Glenallen Hill falling through a glass table because of a nightmare about spiders is pretty good, too.
 
2014-03-20 07:58:36 PM  

buckeyebrain: favorite "Rickey story" got debunked, but it's still plausible and hilarious: The Olerud "I had a teammate with the Blue Jays that wore a helmet on the field" story.



i think someone copped to making up the "tenure?  rickey got 15 year!" story.

/but Jim Rome has a clip of Tony Gwynn telling a Rickey story that was either, "Rickey too fast for Rickey cleats" or "don't worry Rickey, you still the best player ever" story.
//the former, i think Rickey's shoe came off while baserunning
///the latter, he struck out
 
2014-03-20 09:00:21 PM  
Michael Taylor of the Oakland A's injured himself throwing away his gum.
 
2014-03-20 09:41:40 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Didn't ARod go on the DL because of a sprained vagina?


No. He pulled an ovary.
 
2014-03-20 10:01:45 PM  
There was the guy who saw a motivational speaker rip a phonebook in half, and attempted to do the same in front of his teammates, with predictable results.

Several years ago, someone trying to rush out of the dugout to celebrate a win or something attempted to do so by vaulting the railing. And tripped over it instead, hurting his ankle.

And, of course, there was the time that Roger Clemons thought he was a chicken.
 
2014-03-20 10:06:38 PM  
Zumaya hurt his arm playing guitar hero.
 
2014-03-20 10:25:39 PM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Vince Coleman during 1985 NL injuried himself by get rolled up in the infield tarp.


He fought the tarp and the tarp won.

/denkinger killed off the rest of the Cardinals
//which makes don a hero
///a sleazy hero
////but a hero in my eyes
 
2014-03-20 11:27:09 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Didn't ARod go on the DL because of a sprained vagina?


I thought it was a busted hymen.
 
2014-03-21 12:57:54 AM  

Cagey B: I've just got my fingers crossed for "huntsman spider drops out of sun visor and causes fainting spell for Zack Greinke".


That happened to my ex, she just slammed on the break then jumped out of the car, when she went back she found out it crawled into the AC.

Also, why was Gonzalez hanging out with a bunch of old guys in budgy smugglers...I need eye bleach.
 
2014-03-21 01:15:11 AM  

ongbok: Is this going to be the thread that a bunch of guys who sit a a desk all day will claim that they go to work with injuries that baseball players sit for, and call baseball players pussies despite the fact the injury will prevent a baseball player from being able to preform a specific function critical to the game?


Nah. It's the one where a guy sits behind a screen and tries to put down a group of people having a discussion despite the fact he wouldn't attempt it in real life.
 
2014-03-21 01:16:45 AM  

Clarence Beeks: Chris Brown missing a game because of a sprained eyeball is always a classic.


Came to post that one so I'll just ask if it was Rihanna's eye that he sprained.
 
2014-03-21 01:37:50 AM  
I looked up strange injuries and turned up an equivalent list for soccer.

Apparently their all-time champ is a Danish guy who ran into a moose while he was out jogging, followed by a guy whose 8-year-old son kicked a jug of boiling water onto his crotch.
 
2014-03-21 03:11:35 AM  

FraggleStickCar: It may not be as pathetic, but in terms of comedy value, Glenallen Hill (another former Cub...) still has the top spot imo from when he fell out of bed, crashed through a glass table, and then fell down a flight of stairs because he got too scared from a nightmare he had about spiders

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenallen_Hill#Personal_life


Came for this, leaving satisfied.  Thank you for running down the player's name.
 
2014-03-21 04:44:38 AM  

Iceman208481: Zumaya hurt his arm playing guitar hero..



beat me to it.. this is DEFINITELY the silliest
 
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