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(Newser)   Zoo attempts to breed endangered crocodiles, learns that crocodiles do not practice safe sex   (newser.com) divider line 38
    More: Weird, safer sex  
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8815 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2014 at 4:03 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-20 02:31:06 PM
I guess she forgot the safe word.
 
2014-03-20 03:46:24 PM
Sounds like a weekend on the Kennedy compound.
 
2014-03-20 03:59:22 PM
This may be a top example of why they are an endangered species in the first place.

Darwin...finds a way...
 
2014-03-20 04:08:06 PM
I think I'm more interested in the dumpster sex link below it.

No, wait.  I'm SURE I'm more interested in the dumpster sex.
 
2014-03-20 04:08:49 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-20 04:08:50 PM
Fear is their bacon bits.
 
2014-03-20 04:09:45 PM
You can't do anything extreme in crocks, playa.

www.shoedeal.de
 
2014-03-20 04:09:59 PM
it's all over but the crocodile tears.
 
2014-03-20 04:10:54 PM
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2014-03-20 04:11:22 PM
Tick TOCK, swallow COCK
 
2014-03-20 04:12:02 PM
Eat Me?!?!?

OK.
 
2014-03-20 04:12:42 PM
Only if you were the LAST false gharial on the planet!!!  Wait, you are?  What the hell, let's fark.
 
2014-03-20 04:12:44 PM

SecretAgentWoman: This may be a top example of why they are an endangered species in the first place.

Darwin...finds a way...


That's what I was thinking.  It sounds like the near-suffocation thing is normal for these crocodiles, so I'm guessing that accidents happen in the wild sometimes, too.  Some species are just really bad at evolution.  Routinely killing females BEFORE they lay eggs is not a great harbinger of evolutionary success.
 
2014-03-20 04:14:48 PM
I love those zoo science guys.  'are they fighting or farking?'  'I don't know, let's see how this plays out.'
 
2014-03-20 04:15:11 PM
The female died. The most important half of the breeding pair.
 
2014-03-20 04:15:22 PM

Sybarite: I guess she forgot the safe word.


"Hook."
 
2014-03-20 04:16:59 PM

SecretAgentWoman: This may be a top example of why they are an endangered species in the first place.

Darwin...finds a way...


31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-20 04:17:55 PM
TFA left out if he at least got his or not.
 
2014-03-20 04:18:13 PM

Sybarite: I guess she forgot the safe word.


And here I thought humans were the only ones into erotic asphyxiation.
 
2014-03-20 04:19:10 PM
Doesn't matter, had sex.
 
2014-03-20 04:23:56 PM
I hope the sex was good for the male croc, cause the only sex he's likely to see in the future is hand jobs from zoo technicians collecting his "contribution" for the next breeding attempt.
 
2014-03-20 04:23:59 PM
Ah, good old false gharials. They were called such because they were originally thought to be a crocodile species that appeared similar to gharials through convergent evolution. But then it turns out they are a species of gharial after all. So they should be renamed as false false gharials.
 
2014-03-20 04:25:05 PM

Crewmannumber6: The female died. The most important half of the breeding pair.


Well, if she couldn't hold her breath for long enough to fark, she wasn't very good at being a crocodile anyway.
 
2014-03-20 04:27:46 PM
I've had a few go that way while I was in a hot tub. Not my fault they couldn't finish the job on one breath.
 
2014-03-20 04:28:22 PM
well that is worse than the time my boss at the zoo said to mate the panda's.she was not too bad but the male put up one hell of a fight. we all stay in touch to this day.
 
2014-03-20 04:33:36 PM
I hope they recycle
thumbs.dreamstime.com
 
2014-03-20 04:36:20 PM

SecretAgentWoman: This may be a top example of why they are an endangered species in the first place.

Darwin...finds a way...


I wonder, did the Entwives ignite and burn to death because lube wasn't used?

/not as fat and pathetic as I sound
//ok, maybe pathetic
///but not fat.
/V yet...
 
2014-03-20 04:36:28 PM

Sybarite: I guess she forgot the safe word.


img195.imageshack.us

Safewords are important.  (nsfw)
 
2014-03-20 04:50:27 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-20 04:58:49 PM
Now we know why they're endangered.
 
2014-03-20 05:01:23 PM
"If she dies, she dies..."
 
2014-03-20 05:02:42 PM
Crikey!
 
2014-03-20 05:23:28 PM
They do like oral, though.
www.nateklein.net
 
2014-03-20 05:57:46 PM
FTA: "While mating, the male false gharial crocodile usually holds the female down with his mouth "to show his superiority," the zoo explained", according to the AFP,  the female "accepted this behavior"

What? lol.  Was he saying "who's your daddy!" also and is now bragging to his friends at the bar about donkey punching?
 
2014-03-20 07:41:47 PM
FTA: Only about 2,500 false gharials are believed to still exist

I think  I may have solved this mystery.
 
2014-03-20 07:59:34 PM
Nevermind the breeders - did anyone else see the link to the story about how these farkin' farkers can climb farkin' TREES?!?

/also, obligatory Archer .gif...

//img3.wikia.nocookie.net

///just farkin' kill me farkin' now...
 
2014-03-20 11:19:02 PM

SecretAgentWoman: This may be a top example of why they are an endangered species in the first place.

Darwin...finds a way...


I was kinda thinking the same thing.

It's sort of amazing they've lasted this long.
 
2014-03-21 02:29:35 PM
www.slate.com
Approves.
 
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