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(CNN)   Rand Paul compares the GOP to bad pizza crust that makes even that Chicago pizza look good   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 89
    More: Interesting, Kentucky Senators, University of California at Berkeley, Domino's Pizza, Rand Paul  
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1096 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Mar 2014 at 8:35 AM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



89 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-20 08:36:49 AM  
I doubt Rand Paul has ever had non-shiatty pizza in his entire life.
 
2014-03-20 08:38:15 AM  
Pizza Pizza!

   -Rand Paul
 
2014-03-20 08:42:30 AM  
Why don't they ask this guy! He knows something about stale pizza!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-20 08:42:31 AM  
Rand Paul is a vegan pizza.
 
2014-03-20 08:44:34 AM  
I'll bet this fucco eats his pizza with a fork, too.
 
2014-03-20 08:45:08 AM  
He compared the GOP's need for change to a recent Domino's Pizza's campaign to improve the taste of its crust.

I had Domino's a few months ago.  I don't really remember the taste of the crust.  I do remember that the crust was about 3/4 inch thick.  It was like a loaf of bread with a pizza on it.  I also remember that the cheese was some type of oil and curd suspension that dissolved into a hard cottage cheese texture in your mouth.

I think what Rand is saying is that the GOP needs to change from a $5 pizza with bad crust to a $5 pizza with bad cheese.
 
2014-03-20 08:45:19 AM  
So he invokes a pizza company whose founder tried to build a crazy fundie-only town in Florida?
 
2014-03-20 08:53:21 AM  
Uh, yeah.  You might want to do something about those toppings.. you know, the misogyny, the racism, the Prosperity Gospel, the near constant state of bearing false witness.  They ALL need to go.
 
2014-03-20 08:55:53 AM  
i18.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-20 09:05:15 AM  
No... No! That's not true!
That's impossible!

Oh wait... Subby made that thing up about Chicago pizza. Fwew... He almost lost my vote. Chicago pizza is, of course, the superior pizza.
 
2014-03-20 09:07:07 AM  

Destructor: No... No! That's not true!
That's impossible!

Oh wait... Subby made that thing up about Chicago pizza. Fwew... He almost lost my vote. Chicago pizza is, of course, the superior pizza.


Troll.
 
2014-03-20 09:07:52 AM  
you go to eat the GOP pizza and there's a big clump of Rand Paul's hair in it.
 
2014-03-20 09:11:48 AM  
The GOP and shiatty pizza go together hand in fumbling, sweaty hand.

imgace.com
 
2014-03-20 09:12:44 AM  
You know, I hate to say that Rand Paul is right, but he is right.  The GOP needs to adapt or die.

Either one is pretty good with me.  However, I do realize that the "adapt" part could have negative repercussions.
 
2014-03-20 09:13:04 AM  
"Remember when Domino's finally admitted they had bad crust? Think Republican Party. Admit it; bad crust. We need a different kind of party," he said referring to a well-known advertising campaign by the pizza chain.

So let's get out there, let's lower taxes for the highest tax brackets, let's increase our military spending, let's cut welfare entitlements, and let's begin this Brave New World of the GOP! YEAH!
 
2014-03-20 09:13:06 AM  

MindStalker: Why don't they ask this guy! He knows something about stale pizza!


I'm convinced that Herman Cain's presidential campaign was really just an elaborate troll. Given how ridiculous it was, it's not that bad of a guess.
 
2014-03-20 09:13:41 AM  
The GOP is an old stale pizza crust on a paper plate with a cigarette butt crushed out on it.
 
2014-03-20 09:13:53 AM  
I smell a pizza fight thread
 
2014-03-20 09:15:14 AM  
FTFA: "the Republican Party needs to either evolve, adapt or die."

That's actually true.  But the kind of "evolution" that Paul and his ilk envision is going to only hasten the demise of the party.
 
2014-03-20 09:17:51 AM  
So they are going to slather themselves with salted butter?
 
2014-03-20 09:18:01 AM  
Richard C Stanford: MindStalker: Why don't they ask this guy! He knows something about stale pizza!

I'm convinced that Herman Cain's presidential campaign was really just an elaborate troll.
and transparent attempt to launder campaign donations through book sales. Given how ridiculous it was, it's not that bad of a guess.

Cleaned that up for you.
 
2014-03-20 09:18:01 AM  
If they aren't for socially regressive policies than what are they for? No taxes for the rich? War everywhere?
 
2014-03-20 09:18:25 AM  
Can the free market of ideas work when there are only two choices in that marketplace?  His shiatty crust analogy ignores the shiatty sauce, rancid pepperoni and artificially-flavored cheese food reality of the GOP platform.

I think a better analogy would involve a GMO steak from a multinational conglomerate that sourced it from a poor southeast Asian country, then served it frozen in the middle, burned on one end, and dripping petrochemicals on the other end.  And his problem is that the garnish and plating should reflect a more progressive dining experience instead of being just smoldering hundred-dollar bills and pictures of Reagan on a horse.
 
2014-03-20 09:22:36 AM  

Skleenar: You know, I hate to say that Rand Paul is right, but he is right.  The GOP needs to adapt or die.

Either one is pretty good with me.  However, I do realize that the "adapt" part could have negative repercussions.


Skleener, it is more fun to encourage them to go farther right. No adaptation allowed. Soon they will be a party of fatties sitting on their scooters yelling at the clouds and asking for birf certikates.
 
2014-03-20 09:23:29 AM  

lockers: If they aren't for socially regressive policies than what are they for? No taxes for the rich? War everywhere?


Non-white non-males treated as second-class(if  those people are so lucky!) property; every inch of public land for sale for any purpose whatsoever; let the companies put the lead back in our water; a flammable sink in every kitchen. FREEEEEDUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBB!!!
 
2014-03-20 09:23:52 AM  

monoski: Skleenar: You know, I hate to say that Rand Paul is right, but he is right.  The GOP needs to adapt or die.

Either one is pretty good with me.  However, I do realize that the "adapt" part could have negative repercussions.

Skleener, it is more fun to encourage them to go farther right. No adaptation allowed. Soon they will be a party of fatties sitting on their scooters yelling at the clouds and asking for birf certikates.


Soon?
 
2014-03-20 09:24:27 AM  
If the GOP evolved away from being cold-blooded, scaly vermin incapable of empathy, they wouldn't be the GOP, they'd be gerbils and they'd still be up someone's ass.
 
2014-03-20 09:28:16 AM  
Two things... firstly, we have what I think is the first recorded instance of pizza trolling in the wilds of Fark.  So that's something.

Secondly, Rand Paul is actually right.  The GOP does have to evolve or it'll work it's way out of all branches of the federal government within a decade (I'm assuming we're going to see some of the douchier SCOTUS judges retire in the next decade... so it could be longer if they hang on).  However, my suspicion is whatever Rand wants the GOP to evolve into likely won't be the evolution that makes it more popular.  It'll probably just make it appeal more strongly to the already elderly tea party base.
 
2014-03-20 09:28:41 AM  

derpy: Destructor: No... No! That's not true!
That's impossible!

Oh wait... Subby made that thing up about Chicago pizza. Fwew... He almost lost my vote. Chicago pizza is, of course, the superior pizza.

Troll.


Reality has a deep dish bias.
 
2014-03-20 09:29:35 AM  
"Keenly aware of his student-age audience, Paul's pizza analogy could appeal to a demographic that helped launch Barack Obama from Illinois senator to the Oval Office - millennials."
-FTA

The GOP is not a few good pizza analogies away from getting the youth vote.
 
2014-03-20 09:31:16 AM  
They're trying, bless them...they're just not very good at this whole "compassion" thing...........or nuance, or education, or intelligence, or manners, or economics, or diplomacy....
 
2014-03-20 09:32:27 AM  

Flargan: "Keenly aware of his student-age audience, Paul's pizza analogy could appeal to a demographic that helped launch Barack Obama from Illinois senator to the Oval Office - millennials."
-FTA

The GOP is not a few good pizza analogies away from getting the youth vote.


Well, if you couldn't possibly make policies that attract millenials because that's against your ideology, foolish analogies are really your only viable option.

/I guess outright lying is an option, but that's a central plank of the GOP platform and not specific to millenials
 
2014-03-20 09:33:29 AM  

A Cave Geek: They're trying, bless them...they're just not very good at this whole "compassion" thing...........or nuance, or education, or intelligence, or manners, or economics, or diplomacy....


...or foreign policy, or hiding misogyny, or public speaking, or event planning, or debating...
 
2014-03-20 09:35:27 AM  

A Cave Geek: They're trying, bless them...they're just not very good at this whole "compassion" thing...........or nuance, or education, or intelligence, or manners, or economics, or diplomacy....


Mercutio74: ...or foreign policy, or hiding misogyny, or public speaking, or event planning, or debating...


But besides all that. They're awesome.
 
2014-03-20 09:38:50 AM  
The GOP is actually a delicious slice of pizza with all sorts of attractive, mouth-watering toppings. But then when you go to lift the slice out of the box, all the toppings slide off in one solid piece and you're left with a greasy piece of overcooked crust that you eat anyway because you're starving, and then three hours later you don't dare go more than 10 feet away from the toilet.
 
2014-03-20 09:40:26 AM  

Flargan: "Keenly aware of his student-age audience, Paul's pizza analogy could appeal to a demographic that helped launch Barack Obama from Illinois senator to the Oval Office - millennials."
-FTA

The GOP is not a few good pizza analogies away from getting the youth vote.


No, actually, I'm really hungry, so I might vote Republican this year.
 
2014-03-20 09:40:37 AM  
If you need to re-brand for every single election, something more serious is wrong.
 
2014-03-20 09:41:29 AM  

dangelder: No, actually, I'm really hungry, so I might vote Republican this year.


You're going to have some daunting bowel movement for the next two years.
 
2014-03-20 09:44:37 AM  
After reading the DailyFail comments on this topic I just wanted to say that I love you, Farkers.
 
2014-03-20 09:45:06 AM  
I figured GOP policies were more like Sbarro's pizza. Bland, been sitting around too long, and under the assumption that a quick reheating will make it appealing.
 
2014-03-20 09:48:52 AM  
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-03-20 09:50:21 AM  

Mercutio74: A Cave Geek: They're trying, bless them...they're just not very good at this whole "compassion" thing...........or nuance, or education, or intelligence, or manners, or economics, or diplomacy....

...or foreign policy, or hiding misogyny, or public speaking, or event planning, or debating...


Or hygiene, or hiding racism...
 
2014-03-20 09:54:23 AM  
To which most of the Berkley crowd replied, "What the fark is Domino's Pizza?"
 
2014-03-20 09:57:31 AM  
*yawn*. Submitter/Fark trying to start a click bait New York pizza vs Chicago pizza thread. How exciting.
 
2014-03-20 09:59:48 AM  

Rapmaster2000: He compared the GOP's need for change to a recent Domino's Pizza's campaign to improve the taste of its crust.

I had Domino's a few months ago.  I don't really remember the taste of the crust.  I do remember that the crust was about 3/4 inch thick.  It was like a loaf of bread with a pizza on it.  I also remember that the cheese was some type of oil and curd suspension that dissolved into a hard cottage cheese texture in your mouth.

I think what Rand is saying is that the GOP needs to change from a $5 pizza with bad crust to a $5 pizza with bad cheese.


Their thin crust isn't that bad.  The rest is "eh" quality, like most/all mass produced commercial pizza.
 
2014-03-20 10:00:17 AM  

Skleenar: You know, I hate to say that Rand Paul is right, but he is right.  The GOP needs to adapt or die.

Either one is pretty good with me.  However, I do realize that the "adapt" part could have negative repercussions.



Hypothetically, depending on how they adapt, they could turn the party into something that potentially contributes to making America a better, happier, saner, healthier, more prosperous place for everyone no matter which socioeconomic bracket they live in, but it would require dumping the shiat that either doesn't work or actively makes the country worse.

Not gonna happen, though. Every damn little "principle" they hold dear all the way down to their politically correct light bulb choice is something like a religious dogma that can't ever be questioned. They're gonna wither and die.
 
2014-03-20 10:01:08 AM  
Please subby, if you're gonna flamebait via pizza, use Imo's as your whipping boy.  Oh, wait, EVERYONE hates Imo's.

/ketchup+cracker=Imo's
 
2014-03-20 10:01:19 AM  

Flargan: The GOP is not a few good pizza analogies away from getting the youth vote.


img.fark.net

I was using pizza analogies before they were cool
 
2014-03-20 10:02:44 AM  

MindStalker: Why don't they ask this guy! He knows something about stale pizza!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x269]



Came for the Godfather reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2014-03-20 10:08:21 AM  

UNC_Samurai: So he invokes a pizza company whose founder tried to build a crazy fundie-only town in Florida?


At this point how can you not expect Rand Paul to be completely out of touch, creepy, and generally demonstrating his true lack of character despite pretenses to the opposite?

Part of me wants to think Paul wasn't even thinking of that when he mentioned Domino's but I'm also half-convinced he picked that example intentionally.

I'm going to be so happy once he gets waxed in the general election.
 
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