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(The Wire)   Pope Francis meets with "Noah", Are you not entertained?   (thewire.com) divider line 30
    More: Interesting, Pope Francis, Russell Crowe, Darren Aronofsky, natural world, epic film  
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1730 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Mar 2014 at 2:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-19 01:08:00 PM  
Vhoooba, Vhoooba, Vhoooba, Vhoooba...
Pope Francis: "Noah!"...
Vhoooba, Vhoooba, Vhoooba, Vhoooba...
Pope Francis: "Noah!"
Noah: "Who is that?"
Pope Francis: "It's the Pope, Noah."
Noah: "Right! Where are ya? What you want? I've been good."
Pope Francis: "I want you to build an Ark".
Noah: "Right! What's an Ark?"
Pope Francis:  "Go out into the woods, collect all of the animals in the world by two and make the ark out of cubits. Eighty cubits, forty cubits, thirty cubits."
Noah: "Right! What's a cubit?"
Pope Francis:  "Let's see a cubit, I used to know what a cubit was. Well don't worry about that just go out and collect all those animals by twos male and female and put them into the ark.
Noah: "Right! Who is this really? What's going on? How come you want me to do all these weird things?"
Pope Francis: "I'm going to destroy the world."
Noah: "Right! Am I on Candid Camera? How you gonna do it?"
Pope Francis: "I'm gonna make it rain for a thousand days and drown 'em right out."
Noah: "Right! Listen to this, you'll save water... Let it rain for forty days and forty nights and wait for the sewers back up."
Pope Francis: "Right!"
 
2014-03-19 02:10:13 PM  
His Holiness was disappointed that Emma Watson didn't show.
 
2014-03-19 02:22:40 PM  

Wellon Dowd: His Holiness was disappointed that Emma Watson didn't show.


images.contactmusic.com

me too
 
2014-03-19 02:43:59 PM  
Pope probably wanted to know how long he could tread

Demetrius

Dammit!
 
2014-03-19 02:44:49 PM  
I think I might enjoy this version.

It looks a lot more action packed than the snooze fest of "All the animals magically appeared and all was well until the waters receded".

I've only seen one preview though.  I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?
 
2014-03-19 02:48:05 PM  

meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?


Probably just a side-plot around who killed the unicorn.
 
2014-03-19 02:58:58 PM  

meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?


Storm. Poop.
The usual.
 
2014-03-19 03:01:41 PM  

Khellendros: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Probably just a side-plot around who killed the unicorn.


Blix better make an appearance than
 
2014-03-19 03:19:31 PM  

vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.


maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him
 
2014-03-19 03:32:10 PM  

johnny_vegas: Wellon Dowd: His Holiness was disappointed that Emma Watson didn't show.

[images.contactmusic.com image 640x480]

me too


great googly moogly
 
2014-03-19 03:56:43 PM  
Did he ask why it took 2000 years to find the ark?
 
2014-03-19 04:01:59 PM  
Crowe to Pope: "How did Noah deal with bringing termites onto his wooden Ark?"
 
2014-03-19 04:15:17 PM  

Magorn: vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.

maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him


I think that was Lot's daughters. 

Incest...a game the whole family can play. The Bible really does have everything.
 
2014-03-19 04:18:47 PM  

Magorn: vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.

maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him


I'm wondering if the tension isn't stacked BEFORE the flood - remember, Noah was a righteous island* in a sea of crime**. The flood itself, apart from the tension with the birds at the end, really doesn't have much by way of interpersonal drama (unless, as meat0918 suggested, they make something up).

// Noah got himself drunk, passed out naked, and Hammy just laughed and went to find others (presumably, to draw dicks on Noah's face)
// Shem and Japheth (two Anglo names if'n I ever heard 'em) fetched a blanket for dad to sleep it off

*the phrasing is "he was pure in his time", which raises the question: was he only righteous when compared to his contemporaries, or was he righteous even after correcting for the times.
**the Hebrew word is hamas (animus), generally understood to mean a total disrespect for property rights and individual autonomy (rampant theft and rape).
 
2014-03-19 04:40:18 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Magorn: vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.

maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him

I'm wondering if the tension isn't stacked BEFORE the flood - remember, Noah was a righteous island* in a sea of crime**. The flood itself, apart from the tension with the birds at the end, really doesn't have much by way of interpersonal drama (unless, as meat0918 suggested, they make something up).

// Noah got himself drunk, passed out naked, and Hammy just laughed and went to find others (presumably, to draw dicks on Noah's face)
// Shem and Japheth (two Anglo names if'n I ever heard 'em) fetched a blanket for dad to sleep it off

*the phrasing is "he was pure in his time", which raises the question: was he only righteous when compared to his contemporaries, or was he righteous even after correcting for the times.
**the Hebrew word is hamas (animus), generally understood to mean a total disrespect for property rights and individual autonomy (rampant theft and rape).


Have you seen previews?

Noah's king tries to take the ark by force.  It ends... poorly.
 
2014-03-19 04:44:56 PM  

meat0918: Have you seen previews?

Noah's king tries to take the ark by force. It ends... poorly.


Wait...seriously? (And no, I haven't seen previews.) There's a king that tries to steal the ark...

No. Not like I was about to preorder my ticket, but...just, no.

// there are some badass stories in the Bible - you could turn Judges into a Game of Thrones-style series, for fark's sake - why clumsily tack on a "Hollywood" story to a fairly boring (if famous) one?
 
2014-03-19 05:05:26 PM  

djkutch: Magorn: vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.

maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him

I think that was Lot's daughters. 

Incest...a game the whole family can play. The Bible really does have everything.


"Uncover nakedness", like everything else in the Bible, means have sex with. Noah's son Ham bones him in his tent while Noah is drunk off his ass.
 
2014-03-19 05:06:45 PM  

Dr Dreidel: meat0918: Have you seen previews?

Noah's king tries to take the ark by force. It ends... poorly.

Wait...seriously? (And no, I haven't seen previews.) There's a king that tries to steal the ark...

No. Not like I was about to preorder my ticket, but...just, no.

// there are some badass stories in the Bible - you could turn Judges into a Game of Thrones-style series, for fark's sake - why clumsily tack on a "Hollywood" story to a fairly boring (if famous) one?


Yes, complete with Noah running to the boat to escape the oncoming sinful rabble.

I might be misremembering things, but I thought there was a short bit with the animals knocking back some of the assault.

i457.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-19 05:13:00 PM  

meat0918: Yes, complete with Noah running to the boat to escape the oncoming sinful rabble.

I might be misremembering things, but I thought there was a short bit with the animals knocking back some of the assault.


...

It's times like this I wish god was real, just so we'd hear a voice ring out:

KNOCK IT OFF WITH THIS SHIAT.

// sort of like Hank Hill said: "You're not making The Bible better, you're making movies worse."
 
2014-03-19 05:18:50 PM  
Why didn't they cast Tugger as the Ark?
 
2014-03-19 05:30:01 PM  
i94.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-19 06:31:51 PM  
Russell Crowe makes Noah look healthier and more vibrant than I imagine most 600 year olds are.
 
2014-03-19 06:58:10 PM  
Rick Warren has already declared it to be un-Christian, so it might be worth watching.
 
2014-03-19 08:59:44 PM  

Crocoduck: Russell Crowe makes Noah look healthier and more vibrant than I imagine most 600 year olds are.


Actually Noah was in his mid-40s when this happened, so casting Russell Crowe was smart... (but does he really look Jewish?)

Galaxie500: Rick Warren has already declared it to be un-Christian, so it might be worth watching.


Well, Noah was a Jew...
 
2014-03-19 09:00:34 PM  

luidprand: djkutch: Magorn: vudukungfu: meat0918: I wonder what kind of interpersonal conflict was injected into the year or so they spent on the boat?

Storm. Poop.
The usual.

maybe they'll do an extended release and do the bit in the Bible where Noah's kids get him drunk and sexually assault him

I think that was Lot's daughters. 

Incest...a game the whole family can play. The Bible really does have everything.

"Uncover nakedness", like everything else in the Bible, means have sex with. Noah's son Ham bones him in his tent while Noah is drunk off his ass.


I stand corrected.

Is there a better way to show love to a father?
 
2014-03-19 09:03:14 PM  
The article from Yahoo says they didn't meet Pope Francis...

http://movies.yahoo.com/news/no-pope-meeting-russell-crowe-noah-make rs -154806190.html
 
2014-03-19 10:08:26 PM  

Dr Dreidel: meat0918: Yes, complete with Noah running to the boat to escape the oncoming sinful rabble.

I might be misremembering things, but I thought there was a short bit with the animals knocking back some of the assault.

...

It's times like this I wish god was real, just so we'd hear a voice ring out:

KNOCK IT OFF WITH THIS SHIAT.// sort of like Hank Hill said: "You're not making The Bible better, you're making movies worse."


Well, your version of the Bible. You might want to take a look at this: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/8908-Wate r works-Darren-Aronofskys-Noah
 
2014-03-19 10:32:03 PM  
The problem with the Noah story is too many of you take it literally....
 
2014-03-20 06:57:58 AM  
He never actually met the Pope.  He and a group attended a service and received a blessing.
According to a more detailed article, Crowe wanted the Pope to endorse his movie, but it was
politely explained that the Pope does not see films.

The article went on to say Crowe was hoping that this type of article would generate interest
in the movie itself.

Douche.  Make a good movie, and people will want to see it.

I assume this means it's awful.
 
2014-03-20 10:51:05 AM  
I don't understand everyone's fascination with the Pope... given recent history.

If this country was really a country of laws, we might entertain the idea of revoking his visa.
 
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