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(Gawker)   The Chris Christie gangbang tape that wasn't. You're welcome for that mental image (Not safe for work)   (gawker.com) divider line 74
    More: Sick, Chris Christie, Word documents, editing, Microsoft Word, tape  
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4484 clicks; posted to Politics » on 18 Mar 2014 at 3:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-18 02:17:39 PM  
Slap a thigh and ride the wave in.
 
2014-03-18 02:28:29 PM  
Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?
 
2014-03-18 02:40:03 PM  
i just ate, subby.  I hate you.
 
2014-03-18 02:42:16 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?


who cares of the President wears mom jeans, eats arugula, uses binder clips, eats spicy mustard, fist bumps his wife (giggity?), rides a bicycle, etc...

I know you don't, but that's what our politician system has come to.  Being completely offended when someone on the other side breathes.  regardless of how petty it is.
 
2014-03-18 02:42:24 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?


It was allegedly not just any gang bang, but a mob initiation gang bang. Which, if true, would actually be really scandalous, not just tawdry, if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.

Okay, upon reflection, a New Jersey politician in cahoots with the mob really isn't shocking, either. I guess it's just the lack of discretion.
 
2014-03-18 02:44:22 PM  

Nabb1: if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.


he's in New Jersey, of course he's in cahoots with the mob!  it's a prerequisite.
 
2014-03-18 02:45:28 PM  
It does look a lot like him.
 
2014-03-18 02:51:57 PM  

ManateeGag: Nabb1: if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.

he's in New Jersey, of course he's in cahoots with the mob!  it's a prerequisite.


Yeah, but getting filmed in a gang bang initiation? That's just sloppy work. And why does the governor of New Jersey have to go through mob initiation? Where's the professional courtesy? It's just a sad state of affairs in the mafia these days.
 
2014-03-18 02:53:05 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House?

If it's an abuse of power and a sexual harassment thing, then we should probably care.

Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy?
If it's a mob initiation ritual (ha!) then it matters

Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?
If our legislators are simultaneously voting against gay rights but engaging in gay sex, then it's an important hypocrisy that deserves to be public.

Basically I agree with you on every point but want to point out that there are definitely circumstances in which these sort of things would be important subjects of public debate.
 
2014-03-18 02:53:31 PM  

Nabb1: a mob initiation gang bang


I was - unaware - that such a thing might even exist.

A gang bang meant something else in those De Niro movies. Just ask Tommy in Goodfellas.
 
2014-03-18 02:55:16 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?


Normally, I don't, but when it leads to pictures like this:

inyourfaceradio.net

I mean, I'm only human, and that's freaking funny.
 
2014-03-18 02:55:42 PM  

Nabb1: ManateeGag: Nabb1: if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.

he's in New Jersey, of course he's in cahoots with the mob!  it's a prerequisite.

Yeah, but getting filmed in a gang bang initiation? That's just sloppy work. And why does the governor of New Jersey have to go through mob initiation? Where's the professional courtesy? It's just a sad state of affairs in the mafia these days.


Ever since the Sopranos ended, they need some way of amusing themsel
 
2014-03-18 03:08:03 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-18 03:55:45 PM  
looks more like Danny Huston (actor)

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-18 03:56:00 PM  
I'm going to be sick.
 
2014-03-18 03:56:04 PM  

scottydoesntknow: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x290]


I threw up a lot in my brain.
 
2014-03-18 03:57:17 PM  
Student doing porn to pay her tuition... Hawt.

Governor doing porn for who the hell cares... vomit.

You guys aren't even slightly consistent.
 
2014-03-18 03:57:29 PM  
Roll him in flour and look for the wet spot.

*PUKES AWAY FROM MONITOR AND KEYBOARD*
 
2014-03-18 03:57:42 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-18 03:58:41 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-18 04:00:53 PM  
"Eh, I wasted all this time on an obviously fabricated story, so I'll just do 8,000 words on how it was fabricated."
 
2014-03-18 04:02:56 PM  

Nabb1: It was allegedly not just any gang bang, but a mob initiation gang bang. Which, if true, would actually be really scandalous, not just tawdry, if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.

Okay, upon reflection, a New Jersey politician in cahoots with the mob really isn't shocking, either. I guess it's just the lack of discretion.


Wouldn't that be "in bed with the mob"?
 
2014-03-18 04:04:26 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: "Eh, I wasted all this time on an obviously fabricated story, so I'll just do 8,000 words on how it was fabricated."


It's brilliant.  No need for fact checking, journalistic integrity, or any kind of discretion.  Just pass shiat along and then write a second story about the whole phenomenon later.  Twice the content, half the effort.

In unrelated news I'm going to burn down the farking internet if one more fake death story shows up in my FB feed.
 
2014-03-18 04:09:41 PM  
The important thing I want to know since I am at work -

is this something I should look forward to viewing later tonight or just give it a pass?

/priorities people
 
2014-03-18 04:10:31 PM  

lockers: Student doing porn to pay her tuition... Hawt.

Governor doing porn for who the hell cares... vomit.

You guys aren't even slightly consistent.


Totally disagree, if that student was a fattie there would have been lots of vomit comments
 
2014-03-18 04:10:41 PM  

lockers: Student doing porn to pay her tuition... Hawt.

Governor doing porn for who the hell caresmafia initiation... vomit.

You guys aren't even slightly consistent.


1.  It's entirely possible the misogynistic douchebags criticizing her for "choosing to be a slut" are the misogynistic douchebags going "Not a woman? GROSS AND GAY".   All that's irrelevant, because "who the hell cares?" for possible organized crime ties?  Really?
 
2014-03-18 04:20:43 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Nabb1: It was allegedly not just any gang bang, but a mob initiation gang bang. Which, if true, would actually be really scandalous, not just tawdry, if the governor of New Jersey turned out to be in cahoots with the mob.

Okay, upon reflection, a New Jersey politician in cahoots with the mob really isn't shocking, either. I guess it's just the lack of discretion.

Wouldn't that be "in bed with the mob"?


Her name isn't bed, it's Cahoots.
 
2014-03-18 04:21:09 PM  
I'm imagining if this was what the Romney campaign vetting guys came back with.

Romney: So what's the news on Christie? Do I have myself a running mate?
Vetter: Well, first we found out he arranges traffic jams to punish uncooperative mayors. Then we dug a little deeper and it turns out he makes gangbang porn and is a capo in the DiMeo crime family. He also may be the Long Island serial killer.
Romney: Yikes. Alright, put him under Paul Ryan in the rankings, but still above Santorum.
 
2014-03-18 04:22:50 PM  
I don't buy it. Clearly the state department was keeping the only copy of the tape at the Consulate in Bengahzi and Christie's best bestie Oblamo orchestrated the "attack" so the tape could be destroyed. See it always was about a video.
 
2014-03-18 04:24:07 PM  
Hey submitter

img541.imageshack.us
 
2014-03-18 04:25:03 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?


The act itself doesn't matter, it's the context that matters. If a politician is caught in a sex act, or an alleged sex act, there are a few important questions we need to answer to determine whether or not it is newsworthy. Well, really only one. Is he/she a member of our party, or the opposing party? If they are a member of your own party, it's not important and you should downplay or deny the incident and mock anyone who tries to make an issue out of it. If they are a member of the opposition party, then it truly is a scandal and must be exposed and obsessed about for months, if not years.
 
2014-03-18 04:27:22 PM  
Dammit, Subby. I wanted to eat dinner tonight.
 
2014-03-18 04:34:24 PM  
that's nothing, well, o.k., it's unnerving.

wait until Glenneth Beck releases that snuff film he made back in 1991.
 
2014-03-18 04:35:26 PM  
It would have been a story if he was the catcher in the mix.
 
2014-03-18 04:37:47 PM  

mod3072: If they are a member of your own party, it's not important and you should downplay or deny the incident and mock anyone who tries to make an issue out of it. If they are a member of the opposition party, then it truly is a scandal and must be exposed and obsessed about for months, if not years.


I like that Democrats leave office for sending dick pics out. Republicans run off to their mistress in argentina and get elected a senator.
 
2014-03-18 04:40:03 PM  
static.squarespace.com
SUBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
 
2014-03-18 04:40:27 PM  

ongbok: It would have been a story if he was the catcher in the mix.


I know, right? I saw the screencap briefly and it looked like he was on all fours; I was a bit disappointed to eventually see the woman laying underneath him.

/subby
//you're welcome.
///Obama's rumored appearance in "Whoomp! (There It is)" is cooler.
 
2014-03-18 04:42:05 PM  

lockers: mod3072: If they are a member of your own party, it's not important and you should downplay or deny the incident and mock anyone who tries to make an issue out of it. If they are a member of the opposition party, then it truly is a scandal and must be exposed and obsessed about for months, if not years.

I like that Democrats leave office for sending dick underwear pics out. Republicans run off to their mistress in argentina and get elected a senator.


The former Congressman from NY-9 is also far better looking than the current governor from Tattooine New Jersey (and the junior Adulterer Senator from the Palmetto State).
 
2014-03-18 04:43:53 PM  

p the boiler: The important thing I want to know since I am at work -

is this something I should look forward to viewing later tonight or just give it a pass?

/priorities people


Well, I'm at work, and I clicked on the link and read the story, including the auto-run clip of "Christie" stroking some woman's hair and looking around like a caged animal.

"No biggie," I thought. No nudity. Nothing to see here.

And then I clicked on the video at the bottom of the screen. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln, I got the hell out of there FAST.

/so yeah, worth watching
//but not at work
 
2014-03-18 04:45:30 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: "Eh, I wasted all this time on an obviously fabricated story, so I'll just do 8,000 words on how it was fabricated."


I thought the story was funny and interesting at the same time. If nothing else, it gives you an idea how a real reporter actually runs down a lead and verifies it or busts it. Since you don't have a lot of integrity in journalism anymore, this is a nice thing to read. At the same time, the author was obviously getting a kick out of the whole thing.

...And I really doubt that it's 8,000 words long.
 
2014-03-18 04:47:19 PM  
img.fark.net
Future PTV event?
 
2014-03-18 04:54:49 PM  
I couldn't tell what kind of chicken it was.
 
2014-03-18 04:57:47 PM  

lockers: mod3072: If they are a member of your own party, it's not important and you should downplay or deny the incident and mock anyone who tries to make an issue out of it. If they are a member of the opposition party, then it truly is a scandal and must be exposed and obsessed about for months, if not years.

I like that Democrats leave office for sending dick pics out. Republicans run off to their mistress in argentina and get elected a senator.


Sanford could have done anything while he was Governor and gotten away with until Andre Bauer wasn't in line to inherit.
 
2014-03-18 05:03:56 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: "Eh, I wasted all this time on an obviously fabricated story, so I'll just do 8,000 words on how it was fabricated."


I enjoyed it. It was interesting to see what happens when people bring sketchy stuff to a competent editor.
 
2014-03-18 05:04:20 PM  

cman: Why do we make big deals out of nothing?

Who gives a shiat about who farks who?

Who cares if an intern blows the President in the White House? Who cares that some Governor was in an orgy? Who cares if our legislators are having gay sex?


It isn't material unless the politician in question is trying to pass legislation making the thing they were doing illegal.  Case in point: I don't care if pro-LGBT rights legislators are caught having gay sex.  I care very much if anti-LGBT legislators are caught having gay sex.
 
2014-03-18 05:07:39 PM  
a porn actor named Tom Byron

Ah, there's a name that takes me back to my early days of VHS porn.
 
2014-03-18 05:08:41 PM  

TrixieDelite: p the boiler: The important thing I want to know since I am at work -

is this something I should look forward to viewing later tonight or just give it a pass?

/priorities people

Well, I'm at work, and I clicked on the link and read the story, including the auto-run clip of "Christie" stroking some woman's hair and looking around like a caged animal.

"No biggie," I thought. No nudity. Nothing to see here.

And then I clicked on the video at the bottom of the screen. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln, I got the hell out of there FAST.

/so yeah, worth watching
//but not at work


thank you - I have my evening planned
 
2014-03-18 05:09:30 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: "Eh, I wasted all this time on an obviously fabricated story, so I'll just do 8,000 words on how it was fabricated."


Yeah. If it isn't Christie, then it isn't news. Publishing it turns it into a sort of weird, back-handed hit piece.
 
2014-03-18 05:12:22 PM  

ManateeGag: i just ate, subby.  I hate you.


Imagine. Chris Christie sits, bloated, in a chair, a grinder in each paw, his naked chest slick with spilled oil and just a touch of mayo.

Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin kneel before him, their slender white necks bound in delicate chains that connect to Christie's chair. They each take a slice of pizza, fold it, and raise it, dripping with rendered fat, to Christie's moist lips as he chews noisily and visibly swallows.

"Does it please master?" Palin asks in her most subservient voice, "this one hopes she has prepared his meal as lovingly as he has prepared her body to receive his majesty."

"You filthy slore," Christie mumbles, crumbs falling to his chest hair. "O'Donnell, choke her that she might learn a lesson about never speaking until spoken to."

"This one hears and obeys master," Christine says, wrapping her hands around Palin's throat. They climax together as Christie chuckles and sucks on a grinder.
 
2014-03-18 05:14:00 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: ManateeGag: i just ate, subby.  I hate you.

Imagine. Chris Christie sits, bloated, in a chair, a grinder in each paw, his naked chest slick with spilled oil and just a touch of mayo.

Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin kneel before him, their slender white necks bound in delicate chains that connect to Christie's chair. They each take a slice of pizza, fold it, and raise it, dripping with rendered fat, to Christie's moist lips as he chews noisily and visibly swallows.

"Does it please master?" Palin asks in her most subservient voice, "this one hopes she has prepared his meal as lovingly as he has prepared her body to receive his majesty."

"You filthy slore," Christie mumbles, crumbs falling to his chest hair. "O'Donnell, choke her that she might learn a lesson about never speaking until spoken to."

"This one hears and obeys master," Christine says, wrapping her hands around Palin's throat. They climax together as Christie chuckles and sucks on a grinder.


The reptiloid understanding of human psychology is truly frightening to behold.
 
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