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(Outside Online)   Climbing Mt. Everest increasingly means "climbing aluminum extension ladders"   (outsideonline.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Mount Everest, tallest mountain  
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3887 clicks; posted to Sports » on 18 Mar 2014 at 3:41 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-18 02:29:01 PM  
elmolinoonline.com

"Hey, does anybody have some ChapStick I can borrow?"
 
2014-03-18 02:44:35 PM  
The Hillary Step is a 40-foot section of rock wall that climbers have to complete before reaching the summit. It's been a controversial bottleneck for years as both ascending and decending climbers have to pass through just before or after their summit bids.

I have a better idea that will help the bottleneck, but still leave climbers the challenge:
topoftherockieszipline.com
 
2014-03-18 02:44:48 PM  
Build a Hilton and pave a road. It is only a mater of time and it will reduce the garbage and dead people.

It would cost a couple of billion to make a hotel on the next peak over and provide a pressurized environment.  It wouldn't even be in the top 20 most expensive hotels in the world.
 
2014-03-18 02:54:48 PM  
I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.
 
2014-03-18 02:55:11 PM  
I blame Hillary Step.
 
2014-03-18 03:00:16 PM  

Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.


Every time I see "Western Cwm", I think of nekkid California chicks.
 
2014-03-18 03:23:50 PM  
Why use ladders? Just tie together the dead bodies of those who didn't make it and use those instead.
 
2014-03-18 03:44:16 PM  

dittybopper: Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.

Every time I see "Western Cwm", I think of nekkid California chicks.


And Joss Whedon.

// why is that his favorite obscure epithet?
 
2014-03-18 03:51:01 PM  
It's reached the point where over half of the attempts on Everest are successful, and a good chunk of the half that don't make it are people that had no business being on Everest in the first place. It's still impressive, but it's just not the King Shiat Of Fark Mountain achievement it used to be.

You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna.
 
2014-03-18 03:51:27 PM  

Dr Dreidel: dittybopper: Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.

Every time I see "Western Cwm", I think of nekkid California chicks.

And Joss Whedon.

// why is that his favorite obscure epithet?


I don't know, but I snorted slightly when I heard it in "The Avengers", and my wife had no *CLUE* what that meant.
 
2014-03-18 03:54:33 PM  
ALCOA: Because it's there
 
2014-03-18 03:55:45 PM  
"But you climbed Mount Everest in the least impressive way possible. Poser." - Internet person
 
2014-03-18 03:55:52 PM  
Call me when they install the escalators.
 
2014-03-18 03:57:12 PM  

Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.


no shiat.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-18 04:01:05 PM  
Next there'll be an infomercial for the new Little Giant Everest Model

/it's 24 ascenders in one!
 
2014-03-18 04:01:46 PM  

Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.



Traversing that field would be the most exciting part of the climb...
 
2014-03-18 04:03:25 PM  

dittybopper: Dr Dreidel: dittybopper: Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.

Every time I see "Western Cwm", I think of nekkid California chicks.

And Joss Whedon.

// why is that his favorite obscure epithet?

I don't know, but I snorted slightly when I heard it in "The Avengers", and my wife had no *CLUE* what that meant.


I just finished a rewatch of Firefly (*sniff*), and noticed that Evil Not-a-Fed Guy says it to Bald Jewy Mailman in "The Message" as well. It's just odd that he'd have a go-to insult that no one's used in a hundred years.
 
2014-03-18 04:03:48 PM  
Give your cash to the Chinese and climb from the Tibetan side.

/And be sure to wave at George Mallory along the way.
 
2014-03-18 04:09:51 PM  
Why not just install a helipad and be done with it?

/Increase the number of folks that can get to the top, charge for the ride.
 
2014-03-18 04:10:50 PM  

Unoriginal_Username: Why not just install a helipad and be done with it?

/Increase the number of folks that can get to the top, charge for the ride.


I am pretty sure that is dangerous.
 
2014-03-18 04:12:53 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-18 04:14:32 PM  

Gosling: You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna


I want to see someone climb Mauna Kea starting from the base of the mountain. Bonus points for doing it without oxygen tanks.
 
2014-03-18 04:19:56 PM  

Gunny Highway: "But you climbed Mount Everest in the least impressive way possible. Poser." - Internet person


Yeah, I realize what I sound like. That's the thing about badass achievements, though. They're at least partially defined by how many people fail at it. 56% of the attempts in 2012 were successful. People are doing so well at climbing it that the officials are starting to make them pick up 17 pounds of trash while they're up there.
 
2014-03-18 04:22:09 PM  

whither_apophis: Give your cash to the Chinese and climb from the Tibetan side.

/And be sure to wave at George Mallory along the way.


Because there's no way you would run into any sort of "Chinese Ladder" on that path, just a man and a mountain!
 
2014-03-18 04:26:05 PM  

Gosling: It's reached the point where over half of the attempts on Everest are successful, and a good chunk of the half that don't make it are people that had no business being on Everest in the first place. It's still impressive, but it's just not the King Shiat Of Fark Mountain achievement it used to be.

You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna.


K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.
 
2014-03-18 04:37:27 PM  

you are a puppet: Gosling: It's reached the point where over half of the attempts on Everest are successful, and a good chunk of the half that don't make it are people that had no business being on Everest in the first place. It's still impressive, but it's just not the King Shiat Of Fark Mountain achievement it used to be.

You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna.

K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.


I saw the movie about that, didn't know it was you.  Plus she was abducted by injuns in the west and you had to run the warriors-obstacle-course before the rock's shadow faded.  farkin' Hollywood...

/and they left out the part about you getting laid
 
2014-03-18 04:38:21 PM  

Odd Bird: you are a puppet: Gosling: It's reached the point where over half of the attempts on Everest are successful, and a good chunk of the half that don't make it are people that had no business being on Everest in the first place. It's still impressive, but it's just not the King Shiat Of Fark Mountain achievement it used to be.

You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna.

K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.

I saw the movie documentary about that, didn't know it was you.  Plus she was abducted by injuns in the west and you had to run the warriors-obstacle-course before the rock's shadow faded.  farkin' Hollywood...

/and they left out the part about you getting laid

 
2014-03-18 04:39:01 PM  

you are a puppet: Gosling: It's reached the point where over half of the attempts on Everest are successful, and a good chunk of the half that don't make it are people that had no business being on Everest in the first place. It's still impressive, but it's just not the King Shiat Of Fark Mountain achievement it used to be.

You want to climb a still-badass mountain, get yourself to K2 or Annapurna.

K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.


Nice...
 
2014-03-18 04:42:27 PM  

you are a puppet: K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.


Sounds legit.

don't get me wrong, i got winded at 8,000 feet walking with ski boots the equivalent of about 50 yards, but, still.  not legit.
 
2014-03-18 04:43:49 PM  
Everest is a very tricky climb - most of it is very "up", until you reach the top where it tends to slope away quite sharply.

// both peaks of it
 
2014-03-18 04:50:04 PM  

martissimo: Because there's no way you would run into any sort of "Chinese Ladder" on that path, just a man and a mountain!


Exactly:

www.everestpeaceproject.com
 
2014-03-18 05:00:03 PM  

martissimo: whither_apophis: Give your cash to the Chinese and climb from the Tibetan side.

/And be sure to wave at George Mallory along the way.

Because there's no way you would run into any sort of "Chinese Ladder" on that path, just a man and a mountain!


Had a friend do it from the Chinese side a couple of years ago. They almost lost their summit window because of some sketchy bureaucratic runaround. They were told that they couldn't go until some ropes or ladders got fixed in place to the Chinese's satisfaction, but in reality, it was some kind of shakedown of the expedition for more money. The Chinese want a piece of the Everest climbing market, but they're not quite ready to compete with Nepal's experience managing it.
 
2014-03-18 05:01:49 PM  

Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.


/googles Khumbu Icefall

Uh...yeah.   That takes a pair of brass ones with the full knowledge of the dangers involved having to cross that.
 
2014-03-18 05:06:13 PM  

SlothB77: you are a puppet: K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.

Sounds legit.

don't get me wrong, i got winded at 8,000 feet walking with ski boots the equivalent of about 50 yards, but, still.  not legit.


Speaking of getting winded at around 8,000 feet, when I was in Shimla in the lower Himalayas, I thought my asthma was doing terrible because I was getting winded climbing the short hill up to my hotel. Didn't realize until later that I'd taken my spent-most-of-my-life-25-feet-above-sea-level, Floridian ass to 8,000 some odd feet.
 
2014-03-18 05:17:50 PM  

SlothB77: you are a puppet: K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.

Sounds legit.

don't get me wrong, i got winded at 8,000 feet walking with ski boots the equivalent of about 50 yards, but, still.  not legit.


Heh, that's the plot to Vertical Limit.

If you think climbing Everest is a cake walk these days, you are welcome to try it without bottled oxygen or use of the ladders.
You can also try K2 or Annapurna if that's not hardcore enough.
 
2014-03-18 05:19:27 PM  

rynthetyn: SlothB77: you are a puppet: K2's a tough one. I had to scale it a few years back to rescue my sister and it was no walk in the park. We actually lost 4 rescuers on the mission. I got my sister back though, plus I hooked up with the rescuer who survived, and she was pretty hot. Think the non-evil girl from Goldeneye.

Sounds legit.

don't get me wrong, i got winded at 8,000 feet walking with ski boots the equivalent of about 50 yards, but, still.  not legit.

Speaking of getting winded at around 8,000 feet, when I was in Shimla in the lower Himalayas, I thought my asthma was doing terrible because I was getting winded climbing the short hill up to my hotel. Didn't realize until later that I'd taken my spent-most-of-my-life-25-feet-above-sea-level, Floridian ass to 8,000 some odd feet.


had a similar experience when mt. biking in sun valley idaho.  living in Portland all my life at a staggering 500 feet had my lungs ready to burst.

/saw a moose up close as i stood there gasping for air - obviously it viewed me as no kind of threat & rightly so
 
2014-03-18 05:22:54 PM  
...and I should read all comments and not just the ones from people I have favorited.

/jumps into a crevasse
 
2014-03-18 05:35:13 PM  

rynthetyn: Speaking of getting winded at around 8,000 feet, when I was in Shimla in the lower Himalayas, I thought my asthma was doing terrible because I was getting winded climbing the short hill up to my hotel. Didn't realize until later that I'd taken my spent-most-of-my-life-25-feet-above-sea-level, Floridian ass to 8,000 some odd feet.


Hell, my ass got kicked when I went to Mexico City. I'd been to Denver a few times by then and figured "meh" about the elevation, but walking around all day in a combination of 7,500ft (and more depending on the neighborhood) elevation AND bad air quality to begin with considering all the smog...yeah, my lungs were not happy with me. At all.
 
2014-03-18 05:44:55 PM  
Was gonna take two weeks off this summer to summit Everest but not after seeing those crowds.
 
2014-03-18 05:51:12 PM  
Also, as of April 1, climbers will be required to haul eight kilograms of trash off the mountain to fight decades of debris buildup.

Good. It's always bothered me that people just leave shiat up there. If you can pack it in, you can pack it out. Were none of these people ever Boy Scouts?
 
2014-03-18 05:57:21 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Next there'll be an infomercial for the new Little Giant Everest Model

/it's 24 ascenders in one!


Hey, I have the Werner version of that style of ladder, and it's one of the best purchases I've ever made. :-)
 
2014-03-18 05:57:46 PM  

DON.MAC: Build a Hilton and pave a road. It is only a mater of time and it will reduce the garbage and dead people.

It would cost a couple of billion to make a hotel on the next peak over and provide a pressurized environment.  It wouldn't even be in the top 20 most expensive hotels in the world.


Tunnel into the mountain and install an elevator to the top.
 
2014-03-18 06:26:38 PM  
Gunny Highway

"But you climbed Mount Everest in the least impressive way possible. Poser." - Internet personanyone who believes alpinism is an art form and how you do something matters more than what..

ie. not leaving any trace, which is good style....

     There is no climbing on the normal route....pretty much every farker is capable of the "climbing" on Everest....they just lack the experience and mountain sense to do what is one hell of a hike/via ferrata...the Hillary step is 4th class (I am NOT regarding it as trivial!) but it is not technical rock climbing.....

Gasherbrum IV, K2, Nanga Parbat, Annapurna.....
 
2014-03-18 07:04:16 PM  
well you could always climb one of the sister mountains in the area sans ropes/ladders/etc.
 
2014-03-18 07:37:39 PM  

New Age Redneck: pretty much every farker is capable of the "climbing" on Everest


That is absolutely farking absurd. If you mean "anyone on Fark can walk around outdoors and that's all Everest is," then you're severely discounting things like cold, oxygen, and the strain of alpine mountain climbing. If you're saying, "Everest is dumbed-down enough that any Farker can do it," you're severely underestimating that mountain and severely overestimating a few thousand overweight, drunken IT professionals.

Everest ain't what it used to be. It's still a goddamn death factory.
 
2014-03-18 08:16:04 PM  

Dr Dreidel: dittybopper: Dr Dreidel: dittybopper: Peaceboy: I don't care what they do with the Hillary Step, anyone who makes it through the Khumbu Icefall right out of Base Camp has my eternal respect.  Because no farking way is why.

Every time I see "Western Cwm", I think of nekkid California chicks.

And Joss Whedon.

// why is that his favorite obscure epithet?

I don't know, but I snorted slightly when I heard it in "The Avengers", and my wife had no *CLUE* what that meant.

I just finished a rewatch of Firefly (*sniff*), and noticed that Evil Not-a-Fed Guy says it to Bald Jewy Mailman in "The Message" as well. It's just odd that he'd have a go-to insult that no one's used in a hundred years.


I should re-watch "Proto-Firefly", also known as "Alien: Resurrection", and see if it's in there too.
 
2014-03-18 08:22:38 PM  
I remember some friends of mine and I doing the first 24-hour, night, winter, Everest-Lhotse traverse. That was in '66. I was talking to my friends at the top, and one talked about his "flight over". I was like, WTF, dude. That's cheating. Of course the rest of us mocked him relentlessly for about 2 years because we had all, naturally, swum the Atlantic Ocean to get there.
 
2014-03-18 08:26:06 PM  
Scrotastic Method

   I am specifically talking about the TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY of the route. ie. YDS 5.9,  WI3, A2, or what have you. There is NO technical climbing on the normal route of Everest. Thus, yes, your fat IT working, basement dwelling, drunk farker is indeed capable of the technical difficulties on the route....I agree the other variables such as weather, fitness, mountaineering skills etc. is where they will find themselves coming up way short like most of the people who climb the peak. The reason so many people die is that they have ZERO mountaineering experience. If anything goes wrong they have no way to fend for themselves.
  Many people attempting the peak can't even tie into a rope or put on their crampons, what do they do if their guide or Sherpa are incapacitated? They die.

  Mountaineering is a dangerous game for the adept and competent, Himalayan climbing even more so, peakbaggers are an afront to people who have at least properly trained for the activity.
 
2014-03-18 08:37:19 PM  
When I can zipline DOWN to the summit and then down to 'Base Camp', I'll be ready.
 
2014-03-18 08:40:56 PM  

New Age Redneck: Scrotastic Method

   I am specifically talking about the TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY of the route. ie. YDS 5.9,  WI3, A2, or what have you. There is NO technical climbing on the normal route of Everest. Thus, yes, your fat IT working, basement dwelling, drunk farker is indeed capable of the technical difficulties on the route....I agree the other variables such as weather, fitness, mountaineering skills etc. is where they will find themselves coming up way short like most of the people who climb the peak. The reason so many people die is that they have ZERO mountaineering experience. If anything goes wrong they have no way to fend for themselves.
  Many people attempting the peak can't even tie into a rope or put on their crampons, what do they do if their guide or Sherpa are incapacitated? They die.

  Mountaineering is a dangerous game for the adept and competent, Himalayan climbing even more so, peakbaggers are an afront to people who have at least properly trained for the activity.


I know what you are trying to say and in a technical sense you are correct. Honestly though an average joe is gonna need a change of underwear as soon as he sees the runway in Lukla, and be completely out of gas and hurting from altitude before he can even trek his way to Gorak Shep, making Everest a moot point
 
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