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(Wired)   Scientists at subby's workplace have found a signal from the beginning of time. Possibly a Nobel Prize winning discovery   (wired.com) divider line 78
    More: Spiffy, Nobel Prize, Planck epoch, Lawrence Krauss, discovery, theory of relativities, gravitational wave, accelerating universe, signals  
•       •       •

13219 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Mar 2014 at 11:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-17 11:20:49 AM  
41 votes:
a 6,000-year-old signal? very cool!
2014-03-17 11:29:28 AM  
16 votes:
"Hello Sweetie"?  The fark?
2014-03-17 11:35:16 AM  
12 votes:
"At the tone the time will be 00:01"
2014-03-17 11:24:40 AM  
11 votes:
Drink....More...Ovaltine...

Damn it!
2014-03-17 11:39:30 AM  
10 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-17 11:30:45 AM  
8 votes:
Heh, A tweet from one of our scientists (i yam subby):

"Randall Smith @smith_randallk 2h
@planet4589 Scientists researching in Antarctica return with major news. Why am I afraid we'll hear they've awakened an ancient terror?
2014-03-17 11:34:49 AM  
6 votes:
I used to date a cosmetologist.
2014-03-17 12:01:19 PM  
5 votes:
It's pretty awesome, one of the people who regularly comes into the letterpress I run has been live-Tweeting the conference, complete with graphs and images. Pretty cool shiat. Also this:

pbs.twimg.com
2014-03-17 11:44:16 AM  
5 votes:
"We apologize for the inconvenience."
2014-03-17 11:43:54 AM  
5 votes:
cool place to be a janitor, subs...
2014-03-17 11:36:17 AM  
5 votes:
It was "One! Two! One, two, three, four!"
2014-03-17 01:19:42 PM  
4 votes:

Parthenogenetic: [www.wired.com image 660x352]
Is this one of those things where you cross your eyes and see a 3-D dinosaur or something?  Because I'm not seeing it.


It's a maze:

i58.tinypic.com

Solved it.
2014-03-17 12:50:39 PM  
4 votes:

Ilmarinen: anarchisthippy: Jubeebee: MartinD-35: What was there before time started, would that be a negative number?  I'm a bit confused here with the concept of the infinite and all that.  Dinosaur riders need not try to help.

There was no "before" because time did not exist. You can't have anything north of the North Pole, and you can't have "before" the Big Bang.

I'm going to have to disagree with you there. While time is indeed a "thing", the concept of time as we know it completely allows for a "before" just as much as it allows for an "after" when it comes to the universe. Does time, as it governs the universe, allow for a "before"? No absolutely not, but the abstract way in which we measure it certainly does.

Not sure if stoned or philosopher


As someone with a philosophy major, allow me to help. He is missing the following qualities.

1) No unneeded Latin phrases
2) No long phrases defined as a highly nuanced version of a word we already have
3) Average word length is too small
4) No dismissal of non-existence counter arguments
5) Acknowledgement of counter points, instead of ignoring them

Therefore, I'm inclined to believe just stoned.
2014-03-17 12:44:29 PM  
4 votes:

tinyarena: "At the tone the time will be 00:01"


"At the tone, the time will be 00:00.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000001."
2014-03-17 11:49:14 AM  
4 votes:

Headso: cool place to be a janitor, subs...


Hey I get to do math on the boards at night.
2014-03-17 11:42:59 AM  
4 votes:
Ex-Texan: What's the long distance charge on that call?

42.
2014-03-17 11:41:10 AM  
4 votes:

grokca: It's just a theory.


img.fark.net
2014-03-17 11:35:56 AM  
4 votes:
Cool subby! One of my coworkers DIDN'T burn her popcorn this morning, so that was pretty nice, too.
2014-03-17 11:33:35 AM  
4 votes:

AirForceVet: So Subby works at the South Pole?


Subby pretends to work at the South Pole. Subby Farks at the South Pole.
2014-03-17 11:24:47 AM  
4 votes:
Pffft.

Let me know when they track down a recording of a booming voice calling out, "Let there be light".
2014-03-17 11:18:26 AM  
4 votes:
It's probably just some crummy commercial ...
2014-03-17 01:05:00 PM  
3 votes:

make me some tea: [img.fark.net image 615x691]



You couldn't have done this SIX MONTHS AGO?
thenypost.files.wordpress.com
2014-03-17 11:58:55 AM  
3 votes:

FlashHarry: a 6,000-year-old signal? very cool!


I also have a signal from the beginning of time.

It's called The Holy Bible!

Suck it, libs!

*runs away*
2014-03-17 11:44:26 AM  
3 votes:
Turns out the Big Bang sounded more like one of those squeaky, long farts.
2014-03-17 11:39:13 AM  
3 votes:
"HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS."
2014-03-17 11:30:19 AM  
3 votes:
"Pull my finger"
2014-03-17 11:23:01 AM  
3 votes:

FlashHarry: a 6,000-year-old signal? very cool!


Understated, with a vague aroma of naïveté. I give full marks.
2014-03-17 02:27:46 PM  
2 votes:
i1.sndcdn.com
2014-03-17 12:44:23 PM  
2 votes:
Everyone wants to speculate about time and space and how it all began when we could just ask the one thing we know was there in the beginning: Galactus.
2014-03-17 12:39:18 PM  
2 votes:
FTA - "It would give physicists a look at the hot and violent early universe"

Don't put your d!ck in crazy.
2014-03-17 12:32:08 PM  
2 votes:
It's just been decoded:

scienceblogs.com
2014-03-17 12:29:06 PM  
2 votes:
Turtles.  Where are the turtles?
2014-03-17 12:07:20 PM  
2 votes:
This universe is a very large, strange and scary place. Hopefully, with this new information, we're one step closer to destroying it... I mean, learning about it. Yes, learning about it... Always with the learning...

cdn1.sbnation.com
2014-03-17 12:06:19 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-17 12:03:51 PM  
2 votes:
clicktempus.com
2014-03-17 11:55:49 AM  
2 votes:

Saiga410: When converted to audio "Achoo" is easily heard.


Great Green Arkelseizure?

//Thanks for all the fish
2014-03-17 11:54:08 AM  
2 votes:
Anyone else read that as 'Cosmetologists Find Signal'?

/if you don't look good, we don't look good
2014-03-17 11:53:00 AM  
2 votes:
When converted to audio "Achoo" is easily heard.
2014-03-17 11:49:02 AM  
2 votes:
Amazing! I knew those steady-state punks were full of it!
2014-03-17 11:45:41 AM  
2 votes:

Felgraf: MartinD-35: What was there before time started, would that be a negative number?  I'm a bit confused here with the concept of the infinite and all that.  Dinosaur riders need not try to help.

Thaaattt depends on what cosmological model you look at, but the concept of 'before' the universe/before time is tricky.

Especially since first you have to define what 'time' is, and we're kinda still arguing about *THAT*.


here's a graphical representation:

media.tumblr.com
2014-03-17 11:33:32 AM  
2 votes:
Couldn't help but think of this when I saw the graphic in the article...

3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-03-17 11:25:15 AM  
2 votes:
And the signal says something about the Cubs winning the World Series.
2014-03-17 05:02:19 PM  
1 votes:

Stephen_Falken: I say YES to Alan Guth. He's the one who should get the Nobel all right - I remember when he proposed inflation in 1980. It was the only theory that really matched observations then, and it's the same way now.

Guth joked in one of his books that he wanted his name to be spelled GUϴ, so it would be an acronym for "Grand Unified ϴeory".
2014-03-17 03:07:26 PM  
1 votes:
Sounds like Stargate Universe.In that series they detected a structure that existed at the beginning of time.
2014-03-17 02:59:36 PM  
1 votes:

oldernell: Turtles.  Where are the turtles?


All the way down, man.
2014-03-17 02:59:28 PM  
1 votes:
LOAD "UNIVERSE"

PRESS PLAY ON TAPE

SEARCHING
FOUND UNIVERSE
2014-03-17 02:21:44 PM  
1 votes:
this graph sums the findings up nicely.
www.thecrosshairstrader.com
2014-03-17 01:43:23 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-17 01:24:58 PM  
1 votes:

Diagonal: tinyarena: "At the tone the time will be 00:01"

"At the tone, the time will be 00:00.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000001."


BOOOOOOM

//said the Big Bang.
2014-03-17 01:02:14 PM  
1 votes:
You found the big bang burger barn?
2014-03-17 12:45:26 PM  
1 votes:
So the Universe began as a large Magic Eye puzzle?
2014-03-17 12:40:59 PM  
1 votes:

Felgraf: HOLY shiat they may have finally detected gravity waves?!

AND direct evidence for the inflationary epoch?!

I agree, that IS Nobel-worthy. Jebus, that's friggen awesome.


blogs.miaminewtimes.com

Thanks!  That whole "Big Bang" hoax was one of my better efforts, as tricks to test your faith go.  Oh wait, you still think... Daddammit.  Uh, here have some fish gotta go.

/Hi Ho Bucephalatops, away!
2014-03-17 12:39:15 PM  
1 votes:
That's pretty cool, Subby, but it's time to get back to work. These floors aren't going to mop themselves.

/sorry
2014-03-17 12:39:15 PM  
1 votes:
Cosmologists Finally Capture an Elusive Signal From the Beginning of Time

That's really cool, but why were a bunch of makeup salesladies even involved? Wouldn't it make more sense to hire physicists for a lab like this?
2014-03-17 12:27:19 PM  
1 votes:

HawgWild: It's probably just some crummy commercial ...


i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 12:26:20 PM  
1 votes:
Sorry. I had beans for lunch.
2014-03-17 12:23:22 PM  
1 votes:
jylcat: Possibly a Nobel Prize winning discovery

[DrSheldonCooperliketypingdetected]
2014-03-17 12:12:33 PM  
1 votes:

Robert1966: Amazing! I knew those steady-state punks were full of it!


I totally heard that in Prof. Farnsworth's voice.

/WERRRRNSTROM.
2014-03-17 12:11:27 PM  
1 votes:
Horton beat them to it.
2014-03-17 12:11:23 PM  
1 votes:

HawgWild: I like to think the signal is God excusing himself after a gigantic fart ...


That would explain Detroit.
2014-03-17 12:05:34 PM  
1 votes:

ralanprod: Pffft.

Let me know when they track down a recording of a booming voice calling out, "Let there be light".


Wouldn't it be more like "Me dammit, where did I put that me damn light switch?"?
2014-03-17 12:04:23 PM  
1 votes:
Probably God's wife telling him to put down the remote and take out the damn garbage.
2014-03-17 12:01:55 PM  
1 votes:

jylcat: sufferpuppet: jylcat: Headso: cool place to be a janitor, subs...

Hey I get to do math on the boards at night.

If you want to have more fun, change the math on the boards at night just a little.  Make that 2 into a 3 or that * into a /.  Then sit back and watch hilarity ensue.

Not that I ever knew anyone who did such a thing during college....

Hahahah NEVER!


One of my classes had someone who would always change the infinity symbols to christian fish symbols. Always good for a laugh when the professor would be going back through the equation and stop, scratch his head and mutter, "What the Fark...?"
2014-03-17 11:53:21 AM  
1 votes:

ralanprod: Pffft.

Let me know when they track down a recording of a booming voice calling out, "Let there be light".


In the beginning God created light.  As he cast his gaze upon it he was blinded.  He cried out "Jesus Christ that's bright!".  So He created the Earth and things have gone downhill since then.
2014-03-17 11:53:17 AM  
1 votes:

jylcat: Headso: cool place to be a janitor, subs...

Hey I get to do math on the boards at night.


If you want to have more fun, change the math on the boards at night just a little.  Make that 2 into a 3 or that * into a /.  Then sit back and watch hilarity ensue.

Not that I ever knew anyone who did such a thing during college....
2014-03-17 11:53:13 AM  
1 votes:

plainlyclueless: You mean the beginning of *this* time.


Oooooooooooh.
Watchout here. We got us a badass genius.
2014-03-17 11:52:46 AM  
1 votes:
Probably a telemarketer, signal went straight to voicemail...
2014-03-17 11:49:52 AM  
1 votes:
"We apologise for the inconvenience"

I think...I feel good about it.
2014-03-17 11:46:55 AM  
1 votes:
I'll give a Nobel Prize for someone who puts content up on the net that doesn't shake me down for time.
2014-03-17 11:46:54 AM  
1 votes:
To solve this conundrum, theorists in the 1980s speculated that the very early universe must have been even smaller than we presume. Approximately 0.000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds after the Big Bang, it suddenly went through an accelerated expansion that drove it to become one thousand quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion times bigger than it previously was. Inflation brings the universe to the right size for the Big Bang model and all our other observations to make sense.

Extremely small numbers referencing extremely large numbers makes brain go to goo.
2014-03-17 11:45:08 AM  
1 votes:
"Approximately 0.000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds after the Big Bang, it suddenly went through an accelerated expansion that drove it to become one thousand quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion quadrillion times bigger [...]"

You know, if you think your readers are too stupid to understand exponential notation, it's cool to say "billions and billions" or "tiny fraction of a microsecond".
2014-03-17 11:43:55 AM  
1 votes:
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42?

/hopefully our universe's end doesn't suck as much as the show
2014-03-17 11:40:12 AM  
1 votes:
This is going to get trolled on Twitter.
2014-03-17 11:38:24 AM  
1 votes:

jylcat: Heh, A tweet from one of our scientists (i yam subby):

"Randall Smith @smith_randallk 2h
@planet4589 Scientists researching in Antarctica return with major news. Why am I afraid we'll hear they've awakened an ancient terror?


Yeah, if it's 6' tall albino penguins, I am going to freak out.
2014-03-17 11:37:22 AM  
1 votes:
Was it a " green light", subby?
2014-03-17 11:36:18 AM  
1 votes:
What's the long distance charge on that call?
2014-03-17 11:34:58 AM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-17 11:22:14 AM  
1 votes:
So Subby works at the South Pole?
 
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