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(Daily Star)   You know the only thing more terrifying than having a giant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage when you return from a trip to Africa? Having a giant pregnant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage (pics, but farkfarkfark giant spider)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 58
    More: Scary, distribution company, Cameroon  
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21838 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2014 at 12:38 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-17 12:56:08 PM
8 votes:
Spider thread!

i61.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 01:23:07 PM
6 votes:
Bestest spider gif evar.

i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 01:19:08 PM
6 votes:

Katolu: Sorry, arachnophiles, but I'm using a can of WD40 and a lighter. And maybe a BFG9000.


static.fjcdn.com

How can you want to hurt something so adorable?
2014-03-17 01:14:45 PM
6 votes:
I love this particular spider image. I was thinking it needed a "name," and when I went searching for this text iteration I noted it was tagged "spiderbro," which works.
img.photobucket.com

I still hate spiders, though, no matter how chill and friendly Spiderbro may be.
2014-03-17 12:48:48 PM
6 votes:
How Fox news would tell this story- "Pregnant African sneaks into country- Immediately provided wih free room and board."
2014-03-17 12:47:09 PM
6 votes:
I'm disappointed in the lack of "nope" .gifs thus far. Apparently, and the arachnophobes are sleeping in today, giving spiders the opportunity to nest in their ear canals.
2014-03-17 12:43:33 PM
6 votes:
static1.fjcdn.com
2014-03-17 12:40:25 PM
6 votes:
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
2014-03-17 01:12:15 PM
5 votes:
wac.bc6c.edgecastcdn.net
2014-03-17 01:07:55 PM
5 votes:
i62.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 12:57:43 PM
5 votes:
jokideo.com
2014-03-17 02:03:28 PM
4 votes:
sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net

25.media.tumblr.com
2014-03-17 12:58:20 PM
4 votes:
i61.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 12:53:36 PM
4 votes:

Uzzah: I'm disappointed in the lack of "nope" .gifs thus far. Apparently, and the arachnophobes are sleeping in today, giving spiders the opportunity to nest in their ear canals.


Fark you Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you

NOPE

Fark you

/off to buy sleeping earplugs
2014-03-17 12:49:14 PM
4 votes:
I often do the "what would happen if I ran into any of these critters from D&D" kinda thing in my head.

dm: you see a giant spider (dog to horse sized)
player: I attack!

real life
player: I shiat myself into dehydration and fall into a coma before it can even move.
2014-03-17 02:06:47 PM
3 votes:

Mock26: I love spiders, but in my home my actions towards spiders are governed by The Arachnid Accords of 2007.

1.  You are not welcome in my home.  If I find you I will capture you and escort you outside.
1a.  Exception:  If I find you in the bathroom I reserve the right to kill you.*
1b.  During winter you will be relocated to the basement.**
2.  Do not move towards me in a manner that is threatening or that may surprise me.  My reflexes may kick in and you will die.
(Example: dropping down from the ceiling right in front of me, coming up over the edge of the table when I am eating).
3.  No egg sacs.  No babies.  Both will be destroyed.
4.  My cats have refused to sign the accords.  If you see a cat you are on your own.

Treaty signed January 1, 2007
* Amended March 2008
* Accord update, agreed upon December 2009, effective only so long as outdoor temperatures average below 40-degrees.


Addenda:
I. If you're larger than my hand, these Accords are null and void.
II. If you're larger than my face, the situation is referred to Mr. Shovel.
2014-03-17 02:04:30 PM
3 votes:
I love spiders, but in my home my actions towards spiders are governed by The Arachnid Accords of 2007.

1.  You are not welcome in my home.  If I find you I will capture you and escort you outside.
1a.  Exception:  If I find you in the bathroom I reserve the right to kill you.*
1b.  During winter you will be relocated to the basement.**
2.  Do not move towards me in a manner that is threatening or that may surprise me.  My reflexes may kick in and you will die.
(Example: dropping down from the ceiling right in front of me, coming up over the edge of the table when I am eating).
3.  No egg sacs.  No babies.  Both will be destroyed.
4.  My cats have refused to sign the accords.  If you see a cat you are on your own.

Treaty signed January 1, 2007
* Amended March 2008
* Accord update, agreed upon December 2009, effective only so long as outdoor temperatures average below 40-degrees.
2014-03-17 01:14:33 PM
3 votes:
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
2014-03-17 12:47:13 PM
3 votes:
I would love to say I would kill it with fire, but in reality I would run away like a biatch shiatting myself and telling my girlfriend to get rid of it. I'm a realist.
2014-03-17 11:53:34 AM
3 votes:
www.samefacts.com

Geez, they weren't kidding.  That thing is pretty big.
2014-03-17 06:06:58 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 02:11:02 PM
2 votes:
You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.
2014-03-17 01:53:45 PM
2 votes:
400 babies? That's a whole lot of episodes of Maury.


img.fark.net
2014-03-17 01:26:41 PM
2 votes:
400 Babies and no Powerthirst ref yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
2014-03-17 01:24:42 PM
2 votes:

ciberido: Katolu: Sorry, arachnophiles, but I'm using a can of WD40 and a lighter. And maybe a BFG9000.

[static.fjcdn.com image 460x358]

How can you want to hurt something so adorable?


That depends. Are we inside my house or outside? Outside, I let them be. That's their territory. Inside, they get a taste of my fearsome kung shoe skills.
2014-03-17 01:10:45 PM
2 votes:
static.fjcdn.com

They're such cute little things.
2014-03-17 01:10:20 PM
2 votes:

electrik mayhem: Oh, are we do the stupid "lyke omgzzz spiders are sooooo le scary amirite" thing here too? Grow the fark up. Take that shiat back to Reddit.


i2.kym-cdn.com
2014-03-17 01:06:15 PM
2 votes:
i58.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 01:03:06 PM
2 votes:

unfarkingbelievable: Damn, that's a metric buttload of names mommy spider has to think about for her kiddies.


img.fark.net
2014-03-17 12:58:53 PM
2 votes:
www.dvdizzy.com
2014-03-17 12:58:27 PM
2 votes:
Came in here for "babies are a joy forever" spider, leaving disappointed.

And leaving you with this:
img.fark.net
2014-03-17 12:51:00 PM
2 votes:

mbillips: Huntsmen Humans can grow to huge sizes and have been known to bite defensively scream and wet their pants

 like little girls but they are not dangerous to humans spiders.

Fixed, you pussies.
2014-03-17 12:41:24 PM
2 votes:
FTA: "They gave her some water and her rather unexpected journey had apparently caused her no harm."

I would have given her a refreshing can of Brakleen, personally.
www.ipdusa.com
2014-03-17 10:58:36 PM
1 votes:

Lydia_C: Was staying with some friends in Australia when, one day, a critter like this one:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

appeared at the top of the dining room curtains.

Not wanting to squash the spider into her clean, lacy curtains, my hostess thought she'd try suffocating it with hairspray so it would drop to the floor on its own. She sprayed... and she sprayed... and sprayed... and still the spider clung to the curtains. Her bemused husband watched for a while before remarking, "Aw, Hitler was kinder!" and whacking the spider hard enough with a broom so it would let go.

/no idea how long the spider survived outdoors after that
// the other huntsman spiders used to come out of their hidey-holes after a rain and wave their front legs at you if you walked or drove nearby


Aww, that's a little one.

My aunt frosticled a huge one with bug spray and finally finished it off with a thong.  Cleanup required a hose and a shovel.

I'd be tempted to flush them, but I doubt they'd fit down the pipe, and I wouldn't be surprised if you told me they could swim.  For weeks afterwards I'd be living in fear of a huge bloody spider with SCUBA gear and a grudge.
2014-03-17 04:30:14 PM
1 votes:
i60.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 04:25:07 PM
1 votes:
What's up, Chief?

i1.ytimg.com

http://youtu.be/EIMHEZOiOMo

/120 posts and I'm the first to make the reference?
//Cripes, you guys are slipping.
2014-03-17 03:42:25 PM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
/needs more love
2014-03-17 02:52:00 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

No mention at all that Huntsmen spiders are literally... LITERALLY... harmless to humans, scared of us, and keep other insects away from us?

No?

Okay.

So we will hunt them.
Because they can take it.
2014-03-17 02:39:49 PM
1 votes:

ciberido: real_headhoncho: You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.



You asked for it.


I now know what hell looks like.
2014-03-17 02:37:42 PM
1 votes:

real_headhoncho: You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.


th08.deviantart.net

You asked for it.
2014-03-17 02:26:59 PM
1 votes:

pxlboy: Bondith: Giant, hairy spiders give me the willies. Even though I rationally know they're harmless and aren't going to attack me, the part of my brain that's still on the African savannah refuses to listen.

Yes.


That's exactly it. I try very hard to leave them alone (I know they eat things I don't like and are therefore useful) but I can't help being creeped right out. So while I can shower with them waaaaay up in the corner (not comfortably, being nekkid like I am in the shower. I can't not watch them the entire time) if they come at me (move in my general direction) they're going down the drain. I don't want to do this, but it needs to happen if I'm ever getting the shampoo out of my hair.
2014-03-17 02:02:17 PM
1 votes:

redmid17: parasol: lostcat:

The theory of genetic memory suggests that people who had a genetic predisposition to be freaked out by arachnids (if such a genetic predisposition could exist) would survive longer and pass their genes on more frequently.

According to that theory, people who don't have a fear of spiders are genetic mutants. What a crappy mutant power to have. "Oh, um...I'm not freaked out by spiders."

Hah!
My mutant power - that manifests itself as comfort around arachnids - helped me procreate by impressing the hell out of the sire of my children!

Two genetically normal people would be too busy clutching the sheets and peering around a brightly lit environment, scanning for "omg! spider" to reproduce

neener, neener

There's a difference between comfort around spiders and being able to smash them. I don't like spiders. I think they are creepy, and I had 2 rats as pets growing up. Even though I don't like spiders, I dislike them in my apartment even more. They are indiscriminately smashed and flushed, along with the house centipedes that were *everywhere* at my old apartment.


I'm creeped out by spiders. I do not like any spiders to be near me, and would flip out if anything bigger than a baby spider was crawling on my skin.

That said, I do not kill spiders I find in my home. I make a point of getting them out of the house, if they are in an area that people frequent, or leaving them alone if they are someplace where they aren't bothering anyone. Of course, the worst we get around here are wolf spiders, so I don't have to deal with anything dangerous or grotesquely large.

House centipedes...Death to them!

I've only encountered one scorpion in the wild, and that was enough to last a lifetime.

Oddly, even though I've been stung/bitten by fire ants (in New Orleans), I don't freak out if an ant is crawling on my skin. I'll remove it, but it doesn't cause my brain to blow a gasket the way a spider would.
2014-03-17 01:55:09 PM
1 votes:

jst3p: 400 babies? That's a whole lot of episodes of Maury.


[img.fark.net image 258x196]


cdn.madamenoire.com
2014-03-17 01:39:58 PM
1 votes:
I have a full case of the Heeby-Jeebies going right now.

/Äcklad!
2014-03-17 01:36:36 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 01:11:02 PM
1 votes:
www.terrazero.com.br
2014-03-17 01:09:50 PM
1 votes:
I performed an experiment on my daughter.

When she was 5-months old, I got her a set of insect toys for infants. All cute and soft, and made fun noises and/or rattled when you played with them. I made a point of handing her the spider to play with.

One of the first songs she learned was "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and she still likes to sing it.

Any time we saw a spider, I would look very happy and say, "Look! Itsy-Bitsy Spinder." and then talk to it as if it were very friendly, and tell her how the spider helped us by keeping ants, flies and mosquitos out of the house.

All of that positive reinforcement did nothing. She still developed a typical dislike of spiders as she turned 3.

The theory of genetic memory suggests that people who had a genetic predisposition to be freaked out by arachnids (if such a genetic predisposition could exist) would survive longer and pass their genes on more frequently.

According to that theory, people who don't have a fear of spiders are genetic mutants. What a crappy mutant power to have. "Oh, um...I'm not freaked out by spiders."
2014-03-17 01:07:41 PM
1 votes:
Sorry, arachnophiles, but I'm using a can of WD40 and a lighter. And maybe a BFG9000.
2014-03-17 01:07:17 PM
1 votes:
Spiders only freak me out, when I walk through one of their webs.  And it's always just one thick anchor thread right at face level.  ARRRRRGHHH
2014-03-17 01:06:10 PM
1 votes:
Bunch of fargin' pussieeeesZOMGFGOD
2014-03-17 01:05:47 PM
1 votes:
Oh, are we do the stupid "lyke omgzzz spiders are sooooo le scary amirite" thing here too? Grow the fark up. Take that shiat back to Reddit.
2014-03-17 01:03:03 PM
1 votes:
www.quickmeme.com
2014-03-17 01:02:23 PM
1 votes:
it is only due to a recent increase in banana spiders that I came to believe my neighbor is not, in fact, a serial killer ala Jeffrey Dahmer
2014-03-17 01:01:01 PM
1 votes:
i62.tinypic.com

This made me laugh way more than it probably should have.
2014-03-17 12:58:26 PM
1 votes:
What's worse than one HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS Huntsman spider crawling out of your suitcase?  One HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS Huntsman spider with an egg sac full of SOON TO BECOME HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS & VORACIOUS Huntsman spider babies crawling out of your suitcase, that's what.

That's like what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?  Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.
2014-03-17 12:50:56 PM
1 votes:
wouldn't it be a Huntswoman spider?

/pc

Wocka wocka wocka.
2014-03-17 12:43:01 PM
1 votes:
Damn, that's a metric buttload of names mommy spider has to think about for her kiddies.
2014-03-17 12:41:43 PM
1 votes:
Poor little spider looks terrified.

Huntsmen can grow to huge sizes and have been known to bite defensively but they are not dangerous to humans.

Grow up, arachnophobes. It's just a little bug. If you're actually phobic, recognize that this is YOUR failing, and don't indulge it.
 
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