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(Daily Star)   You know the only thing more terrifying than having a giant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage when you return from a trip to Africa? Having a giant pregnant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage (pics, but farkfarkfark giant spider)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Scary, distribution company, Cameroon  
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22046 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Mar 2014 at 12:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-03-17 12:48:48 PM  
4 votes:
How Fox news would tell this story- "Pregnant African sneaks into country- Immediately provided wih free room and board."
2014-03-17 01:09:50 PM  
3 votes:
I performed an experiment on my daughter.

When she was 5-months old, I got her a set of insect toys for infants. All cute and soft, and made fun noises and/or rattled when you played with them. I made a point of handing her the spider to play with.

One of the first songs she learned was "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and she still likes to sing it.

Any time we saw a spider, I would look very happy and say, "Look! Itsy-Bitsy Spinder." and then talk to it as if it were very friendly, and tell her how the spider helped us by keeping ants, flies and mosquitos out of the house.

All of that positive reinforcement did nothing. She still developed a typical dislike of spiders as she turned 3.

The theory of genetic memory suggests that people who had a genetic predisposition to be freaked out by arachnids (if such a genetic predisposition could exist) would survive longer and pass their genes on more frequently.

According to that theory, people who don't have a fear of spiders are genetic mutants. What a crappy mutant power to have. "Oh, um...I'm not freaked out by spiders."
2014-03-17 05:19:58 PM  
2 votes:
They named the spider Hermione.

WTF, they went with a Harry Potter name and it's not Aragog?
2014-03-17 04:06:28 PM  
2 votes:

real_headhoncho: You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.


You're in luck! They actually exist.

img.photobucket.com
2014-03-17 02:11:02 PM  
2 votes:
You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.
2014-03-17 02:04:30 PM  
2 votes:
I love spiders, but in my home my actions towards spiders are governed by The Arachnid Accords of 2007.

1.  You are not welcome in my home.  If I find you I will capture you and escort you outside.
1a.  Exception:  If I find you in the bathroom I reserve the right to kill you.*
1b.  During winter you will be relocated to the basement.**
2.  Do not move towards me in a manner that is threatening or that may surprise me.  My reflexes may kick in and you will die.
(Example: dropping down from the ceiling right in front of me, coming up over the edge of the table when I am eating).
3.  No egg sacs.  No babies.  Both will be destroyed.
4.  My cats have refused to sign the accords.  If you see a cat you are on your own.

Treaty signed January 1, 2007
* Amended March 2008
* Accord update, agreed upon December 2009, effective only so long as outdoor temperatures average below 40-degrees.
2014-03-17 01:26:41 PM  
2 votes:
400 Babies and no Powerthirst ref yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs
2014-03-17 01:07:17 PM  
2 votes:
Spiders only freak me out, when I walk through one of their webs.  And it's always just one thick anchor thread right at face level.  ARRRRRGHHH
2014-03-17 12:43:43 PM  
2 votes:
"And to add to the terror, the venomous huntsman spider..."

Well, hell. It sounds like this thing is the worst thing ever. I mean, that's pretty damning stuff going on in that sentence.

"Huntsmen can grow to huge sizes and have been known to bite defensively but they are not dangerous to humans."

For fark's sake. Sensationalist bullshiat.
2014-03-17 05:34:09 PM  
1 votes:

Raptavio: They named the spider Hermione.

WTF, they went with a Harry Potter name and it's not Aragog?


It's a girl, so Shelob.
2014-03-17 02:52:00 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

No mention at all that Huntsmen spiders are literally... LITERALLY... harmless to humans, scared of us, and keep other insects away from us?

No?

Okay.

So we will hunt them.
Because they can take it.
2014-03-17 02:39:49 PM  
1 votes:

ciberido: real_headhoncho: You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.



You asked for it.


I now know what hell looks like.
2014-03-17 02:37:42 PM  
1 votes:

real_headhoncho: You know what are really scary?

Spider Clowns.


th08.deviantart.net

You asked for it.
2014-03-17 02:26:59 PM  
1 votes:

pxlboy: Bondith: Giant, hairy spiders give me the willies. Even though I rationally know they're harmless and aren't going to attack me, the part of my brain that's still on the African savannah refuses to listen.

Yes.


That's exactly it. I try very hard to leave them alone (I know they eat things I don't like and are therefore useful) but I can't help being creeped right out. So while I can shower with them waaaaay up in the corner (not comfortably, being nekkid like I am in the shower. I can't not watch them the entire time) if they come at me (move in my general direction) they're going down the drain. I don't want to do this, but it needs to happen if I'm ever getting the shampoo out of my hair.
2014-03-17 02:12:50 PM  
1 votes:
Cool Arachnid Story Time:  One year when I was working at a Boy Scout summer camp near Warren, PA, I was sitting at a picnic table when I noticed a really tiny spider crawling on one of my arm hairs.  He was so tiny that the hair did not even bend under his weight.  When he got to the end of the hair, he attached a line, and dropped down to another hair, and then started to walk from hair to hair until he found himself again at the top of one that was sticking up.  And once there he again rigged a safety line and descended down.  Sadly at that point some scouts showed up in my area and I had to (gently) remove the spider from my arm to a nearby bush.
2014-03-17 02:09:26 PM  
1 votes:
The human fear of spiders is instinctive, its a pretty remarkable piece of evolution. We are born fearing that group of animals because of their possibly deadly venom. Same reason many humans are afraid of snakes.
2014-03-17 02:06:47 PM  
1 votes:

Mock26: I love spiders, but in my home my actions towards spiders are governed by The Arachnid Accords of 2007.

1.  You are not welcome in my home.  If I find you I will capture you and escort you outside.
1a.  Exception:  If I find you in the bathroom I reserve the right to kill you.*
1b.  During winter you will be relocated to the basement.**
2.  Do not move towards me in a manner that is threatening or that may surprise me.  My reflexes may kick in and you will die.
(Example: dropping down from the ceiling right in front of me, coming up over the edge of the table when I am eating).
3.  No egg sacs.  No babies.  Both will be destroyed.
4.  My cats have refused to sign the accords.  If you see a cat you are on your own.

Treaty signed January 1, 2007
* Amended March 2008
* Accord update, agreed upon December 2009, effective only so long as outdoor temperatures average below 40-degrees.


Addenda:
I. If you're larger than my hand, these Accords are null and void.
II. If you're larger than my face, the situation is referred to Mr. Shovel.
2014-03-17 02:03:28 PM  
1 votes:
sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net

25.media.tumblr.com
2014-03-17 02:02:17 PM  
1 votes:

redmid17: parasol: lostcat:

The theory of genetic memory suggests that people who had a genetic predisposition to be freaked out by arachnids (if such a genetic predisposition could exist) would survive longer and pass their genes on more frequently.

According to that theory, people who don't have a fear of spiders are genetic mutants. What a crappy mutant power to have. "Oh, um...I'm not freaked out by spiders."

Hah!
My mutant power - that manifests itself as comfort around arachnids - helped me procreate by impressing the hell out of the sire of my children!

Two genetically normal people would be too busy clutching the sheets and peering around a brightly lit environment, scanning for "omg! spider" to reproduce

neener, neener

There's a difference between comfort around spiders and being able to smash them. I don't like spiders. I think they are creepy, and I had 2 rats as pets growing up. Even though I don't like spiders, I dislike them in my apartment even more. They are indiscriminately smashed and flushed, along with the house centipedes that were *everywhere* at my old apartment.


I'm creeped out by spiders. I do not like any spiders to be near me, and would flip out if anything bigger than a baby spider was crawling on my skin.

That said, I do not kill spiders I find in my home. I make a point of getting them out of the house, if they are in an area that people frequent, or leaving them alone if they are someplace where they aren't bothering anyone. Of course, the worst we get around here are wolf spiders, so I don't have to deal with anything dangerous or grotesquely large.

House centipedes...Death to them!

I've only encountered one scorpion in the wild, and that was enough to last a lifetime.

Oddly, even though I've been stung/bitten by fire ants (in New Orleans), I don't freak out if an ant is crawling on my skin. I'll remove it, but it doesn't cause my brain to blow a gasket the way a spider would.
2014-03-17 01:55:09 PM  
1 votes:

jst3p: 400 babies? That's a whole lot of episodes of Maury.


[img.fark.net image 258x196]


cdn.madamenoire.com
2014-03-17 01:47:51 PM  
1 votes:

mbillips: johnny_vegas: mbillips: If you're actually phobic, recognize that this is YOUR failing, and don't indulge it.

Phobias, how do they work?

The appropriate response to fear is courage, not squealing and running like a little girl. I'm not saying you're not actually terrified, I'm just saying you don't have to act on your terror. Suck it up. I had a panic attack once while visiting a cave (forgot I get claustrophobia in caves). I turned pale, sweated, breathed fast and shallow, and went on with the tour. Nobody but my wife knew I was phobic.


Because the intensity of your reaction is the same as everyone's, you sound like an expert in the field.
2014-03-17 01:36:36 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 01:24:42 PM  
1 votes:

ciberido: Katolu: Sorry, arachnophiles, but I'm using a can of WD40 and a lighter. And maybe a BFG9000.

[static.fjcdn.com image 460x358]

How can you want to hurt something so adorable?


That depends. Are we inside my house or outside? Outside, I let them be. That's their territory. Inside, they get a taste of my fearsome kung shoe skills.
2014-03-17 01:23:07 PM  
1 votes:
Bestest spider gif evar.

i.imgur.com
2014-03-17 01:14:45 PM  
1 votes:
I love this particular spider image. I was thinking it needed a "name," and when I went searching for this text iteration I noted it was tagged "spiderbro," which works.
img.photobucket.com

I still hate spiders, though, no matter how chill and friendly Spiderbro may be.
2014-03-17 01:11:58 PM  
1 votes:

jst3p: Colleague Rachel Agnew added to the Evening Standard: "When we dropped her off, she was alive and apparently quite feisty.
"They gave her some water and her rather unexpected journey had apparently caused her no harm."


Isn't there some danger in releasing them into a foreign eco-system?

[img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 320x240]


ftfa: Ms Serrat works for the Rainforest Foundation UK charity, who helped her capture the monster arachnid - named Hermione - before London Zoo took over her care.

She's at the zoo, not in the back garden.
2014-03-17 01:10:45 PM  
1 votes:
static.fjcdn.com

They're such cute little things.
2014-03-17 01:06:10 PM  
1 votes:
Bunch of fargin' pussieeeesZOMGFGOD
2014-03-17 01:05:47 PM  
1 votes:
Oh, are we do the stupid "lyke omgzzz spiders are sooooo le scary amirite" thing here too? Grow the fark up. Take that shiat back to Reddit.
2014-03-17 01:04:18 PM  
1 votes:

pyrotek85: [static1.fjcdn.com image 500x368]


Watch out.  That mana bar means she's a caster.
2014-03-17 01:02:33 PM  
1 votes:
FTA: Colleague Rachel Agnew added to the Evening Standard: "When we dropped her off, she was alive and apparently quite feisty.   They gave her some water and her rather unexpected journey had apparently caused her no harm."

It's not really a good thing for a spider to be "apparently quite feisty."
2014-03-17 12:58:26 PM  
1 votes:
What's worse than one HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS Huntsman spider crawling out of your suitcase?  One HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS Huntsman spider with an egg sac full of SOON TO BECOME HUMONGOUS, VENOMOUS & VORACIOUS Huntsman spider babies crawling out of your suitcase, that's what.

That's like what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?  Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.
2014-03-17 12:57:43 PM  
1 votes:
jokideo.com
2014-03-17 12:56:08 PM  
1 votes:
Spider thread!

i61.tinypic.com
2014-03-17 12:53:36 PM  
1 votes:

Uzzah: I'm disappointed in the lack of "nope" .gifs thus far. Apparently, and the arachnophobes are sleeping in today, giving spiders the opportunity to nest in their ear canals.


Fark you Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you  Fark you

NOPE

Fark you

/off to buy sleeping earplugs
2014-03-17 12:53:11 PM  
1 votes:
Um. The spider actually called the 'giant huntsman' is from Laos. Which is nowhere near Cameroon. I'm calling shenanigans.
2014-03-17 12:47:13 PM  
1 votes:
I would love to say I would kill it with fire, but in reality I would run away like a biatch shiatting myself and telling my girlfriend to get rid of it. I'm a realist.
2014-03-17 12:47:09 PM  
1 votes:
I'm disappointed in the lack of "nope" .gifs thus far. Apparently, and the arachnophobes are sleeping in today, giving spiders the opportunity to nest in their ear canals.
2014-03-17 12:44:53 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA:

And to add to the terror, the venomous huntsman spider............

......................
.......................
..........................

Huntsmen can grow to huge sizes and have been known to bite defensively but they are not dangerous to humans.



At least they mentioned the non-dangerous part after hyping-up the story at the beginning.

/Fully confess I would freak out if I saw one in my luggage.
2014-03-17 12:44:29 PM  
1 votes:
I commend her for resisting the urge to kill it with fire.

I would try very hard to do so, but I don't know if I would ultimately be successful.
2014-03-17 12:43:33 PM  
1 votes:
static1.fjcdn.com
2014-03-17 12:41:43 PM  
1 votes:
Poor little spider looks terrified.

Huntsmen can grow to huge sizes and have been known to bite defensively but they are not dangerous to humans.

Grow up, arachnophobes. It's just a little bug. If you're actually phobic, recognize that this is YOUR failing, and don't indulge it.
2014-03-17 12:41:24 PM  
1 votes:
FTA: "They gave her some water and her rather unexpected journey had apparently caused her no harm."

I would have given her a refreshing can of Brakleen, personally.
www.ipdusa.com
 
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