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(Daily Mail)   Starbucks about to become Starboners   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 39
    More: Unlikely, flu vaccinations, bulk box, degenerative disease, cortisol, electrical conductor  
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15141 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 11:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-16 10:13:40 PM  
Wake up with a coffee
Drinking coffee or tea in moderation has long been shown to confer positive benefits on our health.
Though researchers have tried to link caffeine consumption with illnesses such as heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis and cancer, study after study has proven otherwise.


As much as I want to believe this one, it just reeks of the same sort of science that brought us the line that smoking is "a cure for a number of ailments, including toothache, fatigue, and joint pains, as well as a calming agent."
 
2014-03-16 11:11:03 PM  
emrl.com
 
2014-03-16 11:15:44 PM  
Wow subby, did you strain anything reaching so far for that headline?
 
2014-03-16 11:16:40 PM  
I'm not sure a cup of coffee with 500 mg of caffeine counts as "moderation".
 
2014-03-16 11:19:19 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-16 11:19:44 PM  
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-16 11:21:00 PM  
healthycolontips.com
 
2014-03-16 11:29:39 PM  

cretinbob: [healthycolontips.com image 850x354]


Call me ignorant but,

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-16 11:38:43 PM  
franchisopedia.com
Dirtier, filthier, more depraved whore than Maya Rudolph in Idiocracy, by far.
 
2014-03-16 11:44:22 PM  

"Have children
If you have children you'll be more likely to live longer than your childless counterparts.
That's because raising a child compels us to remain active and mentally challenged."


How about I just buy a dog to raise and skip the child thing. Easier to raise.

 
2014-03-16 11:46:24 PM  
I completely quit coffee a month ago, and my metabolism feels 'normal' for the first time in years, and I don't have intestinal cramps anymore. This is after about a year of systematically removing things from my diet to see what changes I felt. Coffee is just about then last thing I wanted to give up -- I LOVE COFFEE. I still have no idea what adults do in the morning without a warm mug of coffee in hand...

In the meantime I had one cup of "decaf" coffee, and got cramps.  Oddly, caffeinated tea doesn't bother me. I haven't ruled out psychosomatics either ... Anyway, I feel much better, that's good enough for me.
 
2014-03-16 11:48:32 PM  
I really wanted this to have something to do with coffee and boners. I don't really care about coffee, but I'm fond of boners.
 
2014-03-16 11:49:10 PM  
Also, this whole article was about being all healthy and natural... I couldn't help but notice the solid inch of black roots on the blonde. I'm sure all that ammonia and peroxide is perfectly healthy.
 
2014-03-16 11:52:51 PM  
I see Idiocracy has already been covered. Carry on.
 
2014-03-16 11:54:13 PM  
That's because raising a child compels us to remain active and mentally challenged

Yes, I've noticed many parents seem to be mentally challenged.
 
2014-03-16 11:58:47 PM  
One of the best ways of reducing stress on your body is to maintain a regular routine 365 days a year.

You can ignore this normalizing chucklefark. Stress isn't all bad, and irregularity in things can make everything better. We did not evolve to eat the same meals at the same times for decades on end. We evolved to fast and feast, those aren't just religious things.

And waking up to eat grains and sugar is so far from normal human living. Stop it.
 
2014-03-16 11:59:58 PM  
Well, here come the delusional paleo weirdos.
 
2014-03-17 12:00:54 AM  
I never wear clothes inside my home. Not a pretty picture, but I don't give a flying fark.

Well, if she turns my crank I do. Flying, that is.
 
2014-03-17 12:04:05 AM  

poison_amy: Also, this whole article was about being all healthy and natural... I couldn't help but notice the solid inch of black roots on the blonde. I'm sure all that ammonia and peroxide is perfectly healthy.


I don't know. It only takes a relatively small amount of dye to turn those roots black.
 
2014-03-17 12:05:38 AM  

BlackMtnMan: I never wear clothes inside my home. Not a pretty picture, but I don't give a flying fark.


Does all your furniture smell like balls and ass?
 
2014-03-17 12:12:12 AM  

Uzzah: poison_amy: Also, this whole article was about being all healthy and natural... I couldn't help but notice the solid inch of black roots on the blonde. I'm sure all that ammonia and peroxide is perfectly healthy.

I don't know. It only takes a relatively small amount of dye to turn those roots black.


Well I'll be damned. I had entirely the wrong perspective. You seem like a real "glass half full" kinda person. I like that.
 
2014-03-17 12:38:17 AM  
FTA:
Sip a glass of wine
Moderate alcohol intake, especially red wine, can reduce the risk for heart disease.
Aim for no more than one drink a day if you're a woman and two if you're a man.


I think I can manage one. Two is only for special occasions (day that ends in y).

3-ps.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-03-17 01:46:18 AM  
I'll make sure to utilize the staff.
 
2014-03-17 01:54:10 AM  
"I don't think we have time for a hand job!"
 
2014-03-17 02:07:35 AM  

StopLurkListen: In the meantime I had one cup of "decaf" coffee, and got cramps. Oddly, caffeinated tea doesn't bother me. I haven't ruled out psychosomatics either ... Anyway, I feel much better, that's good enough for me.


That just tells you its not the caffeine causing the stomach problems, but something else in the coffee.
 
2014-03-17 02:18:39 AM  

poison_amy: I'm fond of boners.


How YOU doin'?
 
2014-03-17 02:44:07 AM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: StopLurkListen: In the meantime I had one cup of "decaf" coffee, and got cramps. Oddly, caffeinated tea doesn't bother me. I haven't ruled out psychosomatics either ... Anyway, I feel much better, that's good enough for me.

That just tells you its not the caffeine causing the stomach problems, but something else in the coffee.


Or it's psychosomatic and he's crazy
 
2014-03-17 02:58:59 AM  

Prophet of Loss: cretinbob: [healthycolontips.com image 850x354]

Call me ignorant but,

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x358]


Apparently it's really a thing.... I would not suggest googling it though
 
2014-03-17 03:59:12 AM  
Do we know what these machines do to us? Where's the long-term data to show us they are harmless?

Well, that dipped into creationist/anti-vaxxer conpsiracy theory level ignorance pretty fast.  Not like radiation safety levels have been freely published to the point of being common knowledge since the '50s or anything.
 
2014-03-17 04:00:43 AM  
1. Drink Coffee

2. ???

3. Boners.
 
2014-03-17 06:10:13 AM  
I first thought the caption for the flu shot photo read "Getting the flu shot can also put you at risk of other illnesses" Then I realized that it might have been a side-effect of the use of the photo of a person about to get an injection. Maybe it's my ADHD or my celiac condition. Perhaps they can give me sea snail venom to numb my arm before the flu shot
 
2014-03-17 06:56:19 AM  
I'm reading this guy's book. It's actually really good. About half the tips are no brainers, the other half are very interesting.
 
2014-03-17 07:13:44 AM  
I kept seeing that ad image in all the crap articles Fark links to, and now here it is, the ad as an actual Fark link. Wow, what has happened for you Fark? Seriously.
 
2014-03-17 08:33:52 AM  
Oh, and here I thought Starbucks was about to go all 'bikini barista.' Thanks for nothing, Subby.
 
2014-03-17 09:24:22 AM  
www.greyfade.com

Will give you a Starboner
 
2014-03-17 10:17:32 AM  

skinink: "Have children
If you have children you'll be more likely to live longer than your childless counterparts.
That's because raising a child compels us to remain active and mentally challenged."
How about I just buy a dog to raise and skip the child thing. Easier to raise.


So you can have a long, miserable life or a better life??
Take the dog, take the dog!!
 
2014-03-17 11:51:02 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Do we know what these machines do to us? Where's the long-term data to show us they are harmless?

Well, that dipped into creationist/anti-vaxxer conpsiracy theory level ignorance pretty fast.  Not like radiation safety levels have been freely published to the point of being common knowledge since the '50s or anything.


Huh? Not for the airport scanner machines. Not only are they secretive about the dosage other than "trust us, it's safe", when TSA people wanted to wear dosimeters, they were forbidden.
 
2014-03-17 11:55:59 AM  
Came for "Idiocracy" references...  leaving semi-satisfied.
 
2014-03-17 05:28:19 PM  

beverly8: [media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com image 736x981]


Peggy Hill had a lot of fun before she married Hank.
 
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