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(Boston.com)   Nine things that COULD gave happened to Flight 370. Notably absent: pirates have bred with ninjas   (boston.com) divider line 111
    More: Unlikely, Malaysia Airlines, Malaysia, Andaman Sea, flights, media types  
•       •       •

7520 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 2:38 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-03-16 03:52:05 PM  

Arachnophobe: I stand by my 'Odyssey of Flight 33' theory. Who knows what timestream they're in by now.

uber humper: ko_kyi: In a Tom Clancy book the bad guys have the airplane, killed all aboard, and are going to fly it into a major capital carrying a nuke.

I'm guessing Ryan stops it before it hits the capital?  mmmmm savor the suspense

At the risk of spoilers... actually, no, he doesn't.


I was just being a little snarky.

/I liked the one Clancy book I read
 
2014-03-16 03:57:17 PM  

StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-16 03:57:55 PM  

shanrick: Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe the plane is just running late? Happens all the time.


I'll give you a sportin' chance. I'll take Ithaca.
 
2014-03-16 03:59:07 PM  

GardenWeasel: StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 599x491]


Can't even tell what that is...
 
2014-03-16 04:04:35 PM  
These guys have a history of having babes in the cockpit, maybe they did a Captain Pinocchio or whatever his name is, when he ran the boat on the rocks, and then, was on one of the first lifeboats.  He was screwing around with some Slavic babe, on the bridge, when it happened.

/That's why they call it the "cockpit".
 
2014-03-16 04:08:03 PM  

cfletch13: GardenWeasel: StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 599x491]

Can't even tell what that is...



I believe oil sheen, with possible debris field to the upper right.

http://www.tomnod.com/nod/challenge/malaysiaairsar2014/map/125832 from Digital Globe 3:58 AM on 3/12/2014

Tweeted by

Jillian Taylor @jillsytaylor Mar 14
Hmmm...I maybe found something interesting...not sure... https://twitter.com/search?q=%23MH370&src=hash #MH370
 
2014-03-16 04:11:37 PM  
How do we not have satellite imagery of the plane changing course? The thing is lit up and flying at night.
 
2014-03-16 04:15:50 PM  
OK, I'll be the prick who points out the typo in the headline. Could gave? Over 50 comments so far and nobody noticed - y'all Farkers are slippin'.
 
2014-03-16 04:16:53 PM  

GardenWeasel: cfletch13: GardenWeasel: StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 599x491]

Can't even tell what that is...


I believe oil sheen, with possible debris field to the upper right.

http://www.tomnod.com/nod/challenge/malaysiaairsar2014/map/125832 from Digital Globe 3:58 AM on 3/12/2014

Tweeted by

Jillian Taylor @jillsytaylor Mar 14
Hmmm...I maybe found something interesting...not sure... https://twitter.com/search?q=%23MH370&src=hash #MH370


Didn't Pulau Perak come up earlier in the week?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-16 04:20:35 PM  

piltdown: [i.imgur.com image 482x694]


The plane in the picture looks like an A380 Airbus, not a 777.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-16 04:23:58 PM  

cyberspacedout: OK, I'll be the prick who points out the typo in the headline. Could gave? Over 50 comments so far and nobody noticed - y'all Farkers are slippin'.


I've noticed a bunch lately, I've just been hoping that if I don't call out others mistakes they won't call out mine.
 
2014-03-16 04:33:43 PM  

Cymbal: How do we not have satellite imagery of the plane changing course? The thing is lit up and flying at night.


It's not like there's a satellite* looking at every square inch of the globe at all times. Unless someone just happens to have a satellite pointed at that particular area at that point in time (which is spectacularly unlikely given that it's night and in an uninteresting part of the world, and the window of opportunity would be just a few seconds), it's not gonna be seen.

*Of the appropriate type. You're not going to spot an airplane with a weather sat, for example.
 
2014-03-16 04:35:02 PM  

Cymbal: How do we not have satellite imagery of the plane changing course? The thing is lit up and flying at night.


There aren't satellites watching every inch of the earth every second. Not even remotely close to it. Even if there was the one in a million chance a satellite was taking a picture of that spot at that time, it would be a still photo, and there would be clouds and whatnot to contend with. And the plane isn't all that well lit- just a couple pretty small lights, and from a photo they'd be very difficult to distinguish from a boat or island, especially if things were obscured in any way.
 
2014-03-16 04:45:09 PM  

ko_kyi: In a Tom Clancy book the bad guys have the airplane, killed all aboard, and are going to fly it into a major capital carrying a nuke.


That's weird I just got a flash memory of some old fart on TV back in the seventies saying, "well look.. see if you have a nuke, you could deliver it with a Cessna, you don't need a bomber, jetliner or a missile"
 
2014-03-16 04:45:45 PM  

Miracle Whip: Didn't ABC already do a long, drawn out TV series about this?  Something about a plane disappearing and some kind of smoke monster chasing the survivors-who were all dead and it was actually Purgatory they were in?


Dude! Spoiler!
 
2014-03-16 04:45:54 PM  

GardenWeasel: cfletch13: GardenWeasel: StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 599x491]

Can't even tell what that is...


I believe oil sheen, with possible debris field to the upper right.

http://www.tomnod.com/nod/challenge/malaysiaairsar2014/map/125832 from Digital Globe 3:58 AM on 3/12/2014

Tweeted by

Jillian Taylor @jillsytaylor Mar 14
Hmmm...I maybe found something interesting...not sure... https://twitter.com/search?q=%23MH370&src=hash #MH370


bookriotcom.c.presscdn.com
 
2014-03-16 04:50:52 PM  

cyberspacedout: OK, I'll be the prick who points out the typo in the headline. Could gave? Over 50 comments so far and nobody noticed - y'all Farkers are slippin'.


D'OH!!

/Subby
//Never caught it
//Everyone needs an editor
 
2014-03-16 04:52:23 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Cymbal: How do we not have satellite imagery of the plane changing course? The thing is lit up and flying at night.

It's not like there's a satellite* looking at every square inch of the globe at all times. Unless someone just happens to have a satellite pointed at that particular area at that point in time (which is spectacularly unlikely given that it's night and in an uninteresting part of the world, and the window of opportunity would be just a few seconds), it's not gonna be seen.

*Of the appropriate type. You're not going to spot an airplane with a weather sat, for example.


i1185.photobucket.com
Challenge Accepted
 
2014-03-16 05:00:27 PM  
No one considered the possibility of communists?

Vietnam, China and Russia are all communists, all tied into this mess.
 
2014-03-16 05:05:59 PM  

sanriosucks: If in fact this plane is never found, I'm really interested in seeing the life cycle of the general public interest. I can't think of an equivalent loss of life/scale event/mystery that's happened in my lifetime. Will it take a year?  Will flight 370 become a euphemism for unexplained things?



Space Aliens, man.  the Space People.
 
2014-03-16 05:06:01 PM  

smadge1: No one considered the possibility of communists?

Vietnam, China and Russia are all communists, all tied into this mess.


It was the Spaniards and their fiendish mastermind, Kaiser Wilhelm!
 
2014-03-16 05:06:51 PM  

smadge1: No one considered the possibility of communists?

Vietnam, China and Russia are all communists, all tied into this mess.



yea, Capitalists would never stoop to that level.............lol
 
2014-03-16 05:13:47 PM  

uber humper: [i3.mirror.co.uk image 615x409] \

Pilot on the right. And his wife and kids moved out the day before??

I think I'm safe in making the assumption that he has some "problems"



confirmed??   i haven't read that.
 
2014-03-16 05:17:39 PM  
My admittedly outlandish theory:

+ Plane is shot down by China. Why? Strayed into disputed airspace + itchy trigger finger, or fear of 9/11 repeat, etc.
+ China realizes that this will not be a good thing; gets heavy with Malaysia to STFU - hence the confusing messaging from that government.
+ China's advanced cyber squad changes logs all over the place  - things that indicate possible positions, engine/sat pings, etc. - to obfuscate things.
+ US knows all of this, says nothing. An antagonistic relationship with China is not good for the corps, the overstretched military situation, the resulting economic upheavals.

Alternately, Putin is more evil and scheming than anyone realizes.

Again, outlandish. Don't take it took seriously ;)
 
2014-03-16 05:18:13 PM  

ski9600: piltdown: [i.imgur.com image 482x694]

The plane in the picture looks like an A380 Airbus, not a 777.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x566]



that is correct.  (Indian accent)
 
2014-03-16 05:20:00 PM  

StopLurkListen: Coming on a Bicycle: In the mean time, debris has been found in the Strait of Malacca:

https://twitter.com/search?q=elka%20athina&src=tyah

Like hell I'm clicking on any amateur site like "bigbreakingnews.com" for news on the missing flight. There's a LOT of malware operators taking advantage of the mystery to attract clicks. CNN.com, FoxNews.com, etc only please.

This morning I fell for a greened malware link on the Entertainment tab. (a link to imposter site TMZ.today instead of TMZ.com.) Thanks Fark admins.



and if you were using Linux Mint, you can click all day like i do with no worries.   malware?   i'll click the sh*t out of it. just because i can.
 
2014-03-16 05:44:37 PM  
Has anyone considered the possibility that it was snakes?
 
2014-03-16 05:50:49 PM  
No one considered the possibility that there was no Flight 370 and this some sort of elaborate false flag operation by the nefarious organization/nation of your choice?
 
2014-03-16 06:08:49 PM  
Xenu mistook the plane for a DC-8 and thought the Thetans trying to escape Teegeeack ...
 
2014-03-16 06:17:59 PM  
Neanderthals. I tell you it's all those ancient humans recently brought back to life that did this.

How? That European guy who discovered their DNA then sequenced it; he engineered them and now his monsters have escaped his laboratory. They ate the farkin plane. It's always one of those European Socialists that do this. Just ask Mary Shelley. Anyway, that's old news and you have seen the results. You can't put the genie back in the bottle.

BTW. Never get close to one of those resurrected Neanderthals. Never. They grind aluminum to make their bread. A Boeing 777-200 filled with 200 Chinese people is a dainty treat to Neanderthals these days.
 
2014-03-16 06:17:59 PM  
It's pretty clear at this point that the plane was stolen by the pilots. They didn't commit suicide. They didn't get hijacked. They didn't turn around to crash into the Indian ocean. It's parked somewhere.
 
2014-03-16 06:33:17 PM  
William Randolph Hearst comes to mind..
 
2014-03-16 06:40:22 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: William Randolph Hearst comes to mind..


I'm thinking about Asia Carrera
 
2014-03-16 06:41:52 PM  
OK, got the scoop.  Apparently the plane is parked at Diego Garcia.  Seems the U.S. Navy "captured" it and diverted it there.  Has something to do with its cargo -- a cargo that was delivered by the Maersk Alabama, right after those two former Navy SEALs were found dead in their cabin.  Oh, and Russia knows all this, but they don't know what it means*.

* (Warning!Link goes to whatdoesitmean.com.  Click at your own risk!)
 
2014-03-16 06:43:21 PM  
Well Fark automatically tossed the link, so if that's not further proof, I don't know what is.
 
2014-03-16 06:45:11 PM  

badhatharry: It's pretty clear at this point that the plane was stolen by the pilots. They didn't commit suicide. They didn't get hijacked. They didn't turn around to crash into the Indian ocean. It's parked somewhere.


Why stolen and not hijacked? I suppose, without contact, you can't tell one from the other
 
2014-03-16 06:58:47 PM  
The people who most value large jet-liners are the fundamentalist Muslims involved in assymetric warfare.
Russia's potential annexation of Crimea is a blow to the fundamentalist Muslims.
Malaysia exists in a grey zone, where their country is relatively respected, but their government and security remain shoddy.  They also have a significant fundamentalist Muslim presence that has close ties to Somalia's fundamentalist Muslims.
The Nanny state, in a tie to fundamentalist Muslims, recently outlawed Bucky Balls, strong rare-earth metal magnets.
Right now the plane has landed on a pirated cargo ship, which was filled with all the cancelled orders of Bucky Balls, which had facilitated the landing of the plane on a small ship.
The passengers, unfortunately, are currently being intentionally mutated by the strong magnetic fields in the Bucky Balls.
How it's all going to end up, I'm not sure, but the above are the facts as I know them.  I'm worried this may be the start to mutagen-hybrid-soldier based World War III.
 
2014-03-16 07:11:29 PM  

uber humper: I'm thinking about Asia Carrera


You have been all day, I seem to have noticed.

Anyone hear about the Tomnod thing? There's 2.5 million people looking and neither of them has seen anything?
 
2014-03-16 07:14:46 PM  

Psychohazard: I'm worried this may be the start to mutagen-hybrid-soldier based World War III.


No doubt here. No doubt at all. Thanks for pointing it out.
 
2014-03-16 07:22:20 PM  

uber humper: badhatharry: It's pretty clear at this point that the plane was stolen by the pilots. They didn't commit suicide. They didn't get hijacked. They didn't turn around to crash into the Indian ocean. It's parked somewhere.

Why stolen and not hijacked? I suppose, without contact, you can't tell one from the other


Possibly by very talented hijackers who are trained and experienced pilots. It wasn't hijacked for terrorism. It was to steal the plane. The sequence of events. No calls from the crew or passengers. The way it was flown. The path they took. They were going somewhere.
 
2014-03-16 07:44:31 PM  
You are all wrong as hell.

Al Gore and the Luddites diverted the plane to prove global warming is real.
 
2014-03-16 07:45:24 PM  

Coach McGirk: Bevets? Have you returned to us?

Oh God, please no


Bevets was on the plane. The NSA worker assigned to monitor his filth finally had it. Hacked into the super secret, yet known to everyone but the tards on the defense appropriations committee, orbital gamma ray laser, And zapped the plane killing everyone on board and disabling most of the electronics. The plane then flew off course for seven hours until it ran out of fuel.

okaywiththis.jpg
 
2014-03-16 07:47:42 PM  

Capo Del Bandito: Subby is obviously off his rocker.

Short of genetic tampering, nothing will crossbreed those two together.


They are natural enemies in the wild competing for the same resources. If only there was a David Attenborough special on the lives of ninjas and pirates.
 
2014-03-16 07:49:09 PM  

Lapdance: Just my idea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_tv7t79WY


That seemed to be in bad taste.. I enjoyed it.
 
2014-03-16 07:49:41 PM  

Prophet of Loss: Xenu mistook the plane for a DC-8 and thought the Thetans trying to escape Teegeeack ...


Nope--  sorry, it was Langoliers...
 
2014-03-16 07:51:34 PM  
What really happened us the plane lost its tail section then continued flying until it reached a mysterious island. After some time one of the survivors was able to return and tell his tales but due to a temporal flux during his return he went several years into the past. Fortunately for us his story was overheard by some people who worked for ABC and we got to watch how they were Lost.
 
2014-03-16 08:01:01 PM  

loonatic112358: What really happened us the plane lost its tail section then continued flying until it reached a mysterious island. After some time one of the survivors was able to return and tell his tales but due to a temporal flux during his return he went several years into the past. Fortunately for us his story was overheard by some people who worked for ABC and we got to watch how they were Lost.


Almost plausible.
Except that planes don't tend to fly long when they lose their tail, or any substantial portion of it.
There's been a handful of noteworthy examples of successfully landing an aircraft with a damaged tail, but it's usually an immediate catastrophic failure.
 
2014-03-16 08:09:29 PM  
It's becoming very obvious that machines are coming alive and taking over. Wait till lawnmower season starts.
 
2014-03-16 08:10:26 PM  

rolladuck: loonatic112358: What really happened us the plane lost its tail section then continued flying until it reached a mysterious island. After some time one of the survivors was able to return and tell his tales but due to a temporal flux during his return he went several years into the past. Fortunately for us his story was overheard by some people who worked for ABC and we got to watch how they were Lost.

Almost plausible.
Except that planes don't tend to fly long when they lose their tail, or any substantial portion of it.
There's been a handful of noteworthy examples of successfully landing an aircraft with a damaged tail, but it's usually an immediate catastrophic failure.


Hey maybe it wasn't d fiction but a documentary
 
2014-03-16 08:21:41 PM  

gibbon1: Coach McGirk: Bevets? Have you returned to us?

Oh God, please no

Bevets was on the plane. The NSA worker assigned to monitor his filth finally had it. Hacked into the super secret, yet known to everyone but the tards on the defense appropriations committee, orbital gamma ray laser, And zapped the plane killing everyone on board and disabling most of the electronics. The plane then flew off course for seven hours until it ran out of fuel.

okaywiththis.jpg


Those poor souls.

Trapped on a plane with Bevets. Longing for the sweet release of death...
 
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