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(Facebook)   Fred Phelps reportedly near death. No word of plans to protest his funeral   (facebook.com) divider line 175
    More: News, Fred Phelps  
•       •       •

16770 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 11:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-16 11:23:00 AM  
21 votes:

JerseyTim: Wouldn't it be ironic of the Westboro Baptist Church protested his funeral?


Wouldn't that be like dividing by zero?

I can see it now: The Phelps clan protesting elder Phelps funeral.  Suddenly a wave of light sweeps out from each of their bodies and washes over the city.  The clan looks around, confused, as if coming out of a trance.  They drop their signs to the sidewalk.  Sherley Phelps, with a smile on her face says to her kin-- "It's over.  The curse is broken."   They celebrate at Denny's.  Fin.
2014-03-16 11:08:34 AM  
20 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-16 10:19:03 AM  
19 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-03-16 10:14:24 AM  
17 votes:
His funeral is going to look like burning man
2014-03-16 11:18:44 AM  
14 votes:

FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


No, classic would be

i6.photobucket.com
2014-03-16 10:11:26 AM  
14 votes:
img.fark.net

Rot in hell, Fred..
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-03-16 10:21:04 AM  
12 votes:
They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.
2014-03-16 10:17:39 AM  
12 votes:
i49.tinypic.com
2014-03-16 11:14:06 AM  
11 votes:

hardinparamedic: Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


Probably tried to get Shirley Phelps-Roper to use some farking shampoo on the greasy stank-ass hair of her's. God Hates L'Oreal too, apparently.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
2014-03-16 11:52:54 AM  
9 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-16 11:19:35 AM  
8 votes:
fc01.deviantart.net
2014-03-16 11:08:04 AM  
8 votes:
If this rumor is true, remember what I said to you Fark Mods. On that glorious day, just call in sick. Don't even bother to try moderating. There's simply going to be no damn way you can hold back the Tsunami of Schadenfreude that's going to slam through Fark like a Praxis Effect.

i1.ytimg.com


www.stardestroyer.net
2014-03-16 11:48:53 AM  
7 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 11:29:10 AM  
7 votes:

Recoil Therapy: They could probably solve California's drought if there was a piss tube installed over Fred's grave


That's a terrible idea. Do you know how many pairs of tap shoes that would ruin?
2014-03-16 11:09:11 AM  
7 votes:

Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


i23.photobucket.com
2014-03-16 11:13:21 AM  
6 votes:
Full bladders, MARCH!
2014-03-16 03:55:42 PM  
5 votes:
I don't understand the hate here for Phelps. Sure he smoked pot but he did win all those medals for the USA.
2014-03-16 01:33:29 PM  
5 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 01:23:44 PM  
5 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-16 12:55:43 PM  
5 votes:
www.elephantjournal.com

Am I doing this right?
2014-03-16 11:41:01 AM  
5 votes:

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.



Fred Phelps is not going to fark you, man.
2014-03-16 11:16:49 AM  
5 votes:

campblood.org

RIP Fred Phelps

2014-03-16 11:07:01 AM  
5 votes:
www.hogdb.com
2014-03-16 11:05:24 AM  
5 votes:
I'd prefer him to be terminally ill,and long suffering and the only way he can stay alive is through repeated transfusions from gay donors.
2014-03-16 11:02:11 AM  
5 votes:
I've quoted her before - Bette Davis upon hearing Joan Crawford had died: I was taught to always say good about someone. Joan Crawford has died. Good!
2014-03-16 12:28:10 PM  
4 votes:
I'm already drinking beer and eating asparagus...
2014-03-16 12:08:08 PM  
4 votes:

jbc: I'd normally disagree out of respect to the family, but since they are equally reprehensible excuses for mammals, I think some "God Hates Bigots" pickets are in order here.


Has Fred come up with the perfect plan to ensure that there will be people at his funeral?
2014-03-16 12:00:40 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 11:48:06 AM  
4 votes:

FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


He's still not gonna fark you.

Or he might.  I've heard rumors.

Oh, well.  Time to mourn in my own way.

25.media.tumblr.com
2014-03-16 11:43:16 AM  
4 votes:

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


www.made-by-kali.com
2014-03-16 11:25:30 AM  
4 votes:
Can the thread for Phelps' death be the first official use of the Fabulous tag? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?
2014-03-16 11:16:26 AM  
4 votes:
What if we find out that in his last days he took a young man cabana boy into his heart and converted completely to teh gay in his final days.

The screenplay could become the next Brokeback Mountain... with wrinkly old man balls.

//He could be played by Charlton Heston
//Cabana boy could be Zac Efron
2014-03-16 11:05:37 AM  
4 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Please, Dear Jesus. Please, Dark Lord Satan. We beg of you. Please let this farker die a horrible and painful death. And, in the end, please let him soil his pants. Amen.
2014-03-17 12:14:23 AM  
3 votes:
list fails without

upload.wikimedia.org

/harrumph!
2014-03-16 03:45:20 PM  
3 votes:
Would love to be a fly on the wall if he was personally greeted in the afterlife by...

static.comicvine.com

...and then watch them totally make out.
2014-03-16 03:31:11 PM  
3 votes:

reubendaley: images4.wikia.nocookie.net

HE'S GETTING AWAY!!!!


FTFY
2014-03-16 02:18:20 PM  
3 votes:
what would be the going cost for a brass band in that area?
2014-03-16 01:25:47 PM  
3 votes:
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, Mr. Phelps, is to die a horrible, painful death. Though even if you don't accept it, you'll die a lonely death. You will self-destruct in 5, 4, ...

thisisyourbrainonFark: [i.imgur.com image 850x478]


It took me 15 seconds to realize that is not a screencap from Robot Chicken.
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-03-16 12:37:18 PM  
3 votes:
We should hire Chick-fil-a to cater.
2014-03-16 12:07:02 PM  
3 votes:
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-03-16 11:51:49 AM  
3 votes:

FlyingBacon: Oh yea right. My sarcasm really failed this morning. Thats ok with me.


slog.thestranger.com
2014-03-16 11:51:10 AM  
3 votes:
thehumansaredead.files.wordpress.com
2014-03-16 11:48:06 AM  
3 votes:

Millennium: On the one hand, it's good to have people like him to put our commitment to freedom of speech and religion to the test. Even if that's the only value his life provides.

On the other hand, man, what I wouldn't give to be one of the people who has to sort out his stuff post-mortem. What kinds of things do you think would be found?!


img3.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-03-16 11:43:23 AM  
3 votes:

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


Look at you! Trolling for attention by way of Fred Phelps on his death bed. Poor guy... you must be pretty hard up if you're willing to stoop to that low.

There... I paid a little attention to you... do you feel better about yourself now? *pat*
2014-03-16 11:35:15 AM  
3 votes:
How close to death is he? Cause I should start holding my pee.
2014-03-16 11:24:55 AM  
3 votes:
image.blingee.com
2014-03-16 11:24:45 AM  
3 votes:

symptomoftheuniverse: Meh. Now when Cheney bites it, that will be cause to party.


Cheney can't die.  He isn't really Human.  Haven't you seen Phantasm?

img.fark.net

Cheney isn't from this world.  He's here to conquer it.
2014-03-16 11:18:47 AM  
3 votes:
What if the WBC picketed his funeral?
2014-03-16 11:16:39 AM  
3 votes:
So I casually googled and I can't find any real explanation on his being excommunicated. Just speculation that he's gay. Weirdest wishful thinking ever.

Also,
svg.xs4all.nl
2014-03-16 11:15:17 AM  
3 votes:

Oldiron_79: Tis but a flesh wound, he's had worse.


Yeah, this is just one of many tiny pricks he's had.
2014-03-16 11:14:37 AM  
3 votes:
I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?
2014-03-16 11:08:50 AM  
3 votes:
www.quickmeme.com
2014-03-16 09:41:46 PM  
2 votes:

Millennium: Ghastly: Pascal's wager is possibly the stupidest reason to believe in a religion. It would be one thing if there was only one religion in the world but there are hundreds. What if there is a god, but you're devoutly worshipping the wrong one and just pissing him off more and more each time you go to church.

It's worth noting that Pascal formulated his wager in an intellectual context where there really was only one religion under consideration (with a few different sects, perhaps, but they generally acknowledged one another as worshipping the same God). Nowadays the Tumblr crowd would have a field day with that, but such was the time and place he lived.


That is true, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Taoists, and Hindus were not invented until 1663.
2014-03-16 07:21:47 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 06:35:07 PM  
2 votes:

TheShavingofOccam123: I hope his children enjoy his funeral. I hope it's ringed by squads of paired off, naked LGBTs rutting in joyous celebration.


GAY, FURRY SEX FOR EVERYBODY!

scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net
2014-03-16 05:04:21 PM  
2 votes:

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.

It can happen.


Wally:  I went out driving, because as you know I love driving... when suddenly I had to take the biggest pee in the world. So I saw this washroom. I stopped in, but it was full of those "types." You know, queers and queens. So one of them tried to kiss me... and I said, "No! No, no." But he just kept kissing me. Why would he do that?
 
Psychiatrist: Well, didn't you tell me that you had... gripped him by the buttocks and pulled him closer?

Wally:  Yes, but that was 'cause I was concerned that he might fall. Doctor, his pants were down around his goddamn ankles.
2014-03-16 04:34:39 PM  
2 votes:

Loucifer: How close to death is he? Cause I should start holding my pee.


Yes, he deserves a liberal coat of polyurinestain.
2014-03-16 04:01:20 PM  
2 votes:

SPLAMM: God hates Freds


False. Mr. Rogers was a Fred.

Hating Mr. Rogers is something even Satan couldn't bring himself to do.
2014-03-16 03:50:00 PM  
2 votes:

atomic-age: bindlestiff2600: what would be the going cost for a brass band in that area?

to play a medley of show tunes and Queen songs.


A mashup of "It's Raining Men", "Killer Queen" and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me"
2014-03-16 03:43:39 PM  
2 votes:

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.


Probably on his way through a parking lot.
2014-03-16 03:16:13 PM  
2 votes:
They're going to have to line his gravesite with porcelain, continuous running water and a sewer connection, or the cemetery will face fines for illegal disposal of sewage.
2014-03-16 02:22:29 PM  
2 votes:
I'm guessing the whole "excommunicating" thing was what the Phelpses think is a Cunning Plan.

lawrenceofcyberia.blogs.com

You see, when Fred finally croaks and lands ass-first on top of Satan's dick, everyone on Earth is going to celebrate. So, the Phelps Cult has shielded themselves and WILL say "Go ahead and celebrate. We excommunicated with him and we're celebrating too. Thanks for supporting us this way."

And then seven billion people will all go
fotos.portalcab.com
2014-03-16 02:12:30 PM  
2 votes:
www.boomtron.com

"His contract's nearly up."
2014-03-16 02:08:29 PM  
2 votes:

grumpfuff: And you doubt heliocentricity, your point?


I love that, no matter what the thread topic is about, no matter how absurd the positions that  Miss Alexandra takes, this always gets brought up and makes me laugh.

I love you, FARK.
2014-03-16 02:03:36 PM  
2 votes:

Miss Alexandra: Phelps and his bunch are just obnoxious.  They have no clue.

Interesting note:  He's a registered Democrat.

/doesn't like d OR r


And you doubt heliocentricity, your point?
2014-03-16 01:36:02 PM  
2 votes:
" have never wished death upon anyone, but I have read some obituaries with great satisfaction."

- Mark Twain
2014-03-16 01:19:50 PM  
2 votes:

MayoSlather: He's about to see how god feels about bigots...or how imaginary people feel about nothing.


That for me is the biggest drawback to being an atheist (or to be more precise, someone who doesn't believe in life after death): if you're right, you'll never find out.
2014-03-16 01:06:21 PM  
2 votes:
i299.photobucket.com
2014-03-16 12:52:20 PM  
2 votes:
Kicked out of his own church, and on his death bed with no one saying what he's dying of (old age, etc.).
My money is on HIV.
2014-03-16 12:43:51 PM  
2 votes:
www.agentlover.com
2014-03-16 12:42:16 PM  
2 votes:
ts3.mm.bing.net
Funeral Parade.
2014-03-16 12:35:16 PM  
2 votes:

bobothemagnificent: If a bunch of people protest his funeral, all you'll do is justify his actions to his supporters.  You want to strip him of his supporters, don't do anything.  Just ignore him as most of the rest of the country has done.  Let him and his stupidity fade away to the pages of insignificance.


Just schedule a gay pride parade elsewhere in the same city at the same time. Then his supporters have to choose between attending his funeral and protesting at the parade.
2014-03-16 12:30:14 PM  
2 votes:
I've heard that Doctors are keeping him alive with repeated anal insemination.
2014-03-16 12:15:23 PM  
2 votes:
He had a lot to say.
He had a lot of nothing to say.
We'll miss him.

We're gonna miss him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHdlhUfJ5qc
2014-03-16 12:14:34 PM  
2 votes:
Wow Fark, you guys sure hate homosexuals.

/ That is, closeted, self-hating homosexuals, but still.
2014-03-16 11:55:07 AM  
2 votes:

JohnnyC: JohnTuttle: As evil as his actions may have been, he's still a fellow human being

So your contention is that Phelps is a 'fellow human being'...

I'm thinking you and I have different ideas about what 'fellow', 'human', and 'being' mean.


Well, it does show a level of sociopathy on your part that you can classify him as non-human.

Also,

RIP

upload.wikimedia.org

2014-03-16 11:53:32 AM  
2 votes:
You're looking at it all wrong.

Don't celebrate his death.

Celebrate the fact that he lived *just* long enough to see gay marriage legalized all over the country.
2014-03-16 11:49:43 AM  
2 votes:

Oldiron_79: symptomoftheuniverse: Meh. Now when Cheney bites it, that will be cause to party.

He's more machine now than man.


1.bp.blogspot.com
2014-03-16 11:43:58 AM  
2 votes:
On the one hand, it's good to have people like him to put our commitment to freedom of speech and religion to the test. Even if that's the only value his life provides.

On the other hand, man, what I wouldn't give to be one of the people who has to sort out his stuff post-mortem. What kinds of things do you think would be found?!
2014-03-16 11:39:25 AM  
2 votes:

R.I.Pee Freddie


drawception.com

2014-03-16 11:36:53 AM  
2 votes:

symptomoftheuniverse: Meh. Now when Cheney bites it, that will be cause to party.


He's more machine now than man.
2014-03-16 11:33:38 AM  
2 votes:
Still undefeated:
www.macroevolution.net
2014-03-16 11:28:34 AM  
2 votes:
To paraphrase a time-honored quote:  I've never wished a person dead, but have read their obituaries with great pleasure.

MBK: They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.


That, with Lady Gaga as Grand Marshall.
2014-03-16 11:27:25 AM  
2 votes:

poonesfarm: Can his gravesite double as an interstate rest stop toilet?


This works on so many levels.
2014-03-16 11:26:00 AM  
2 votes:

spman: What if the WBC picketed his funeral?


Divide by zero error.
2014-03-16 11:20:16 AM  
2 votes:
Wouldn't it be ironic of the Westboro Baptist Church protested his funeral?
2014-03-16 11:13:28 AM  
2 votes:

machoprogrammer: His grave should be a place where gay men can go and have orgies on top of it


someone should stick a fleshlight in the ground where he is buried.
2014-03-16 11:10:47 AM  
2 votes:
I suddenly am filled with the urge to spread love and friendship to all my fellow humans. No greater insult can be given to this unfortunate man. So farkers, you may be sick, cynical reprobates (those that aren't alts, at any rate), but I thank you for bringing some joy and humor in to my life.
2014-03-16 11:08:17 AM  
2 votes:

Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


thebacklot.mtvnimages.com
2014-03-16 11:04:19 AM  
2 votes:
yippayap.com
2014-03-17 12:41:39 PM  
1 votes:

C18H27NO3: If the entirety of the WBC were on MH370 instead of the regular passengers would anyone even care what happened to the plane?

Thank you for tuning in to the news.
Some plane is lost.
And now your local forecast.


Sure they would. Planes are expensive.
2014-03-17 12:17:53 PM  
1 votes:

spongeboob: FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.

Reap what you sow, don't think Farkers are going to be hating when the Dali Lama dies


Bet you some do.  Not nearly as many, but some will.  There are plenty of Farkers who are very vocal about hating ALL religions.

I've seen threads where a few Farkers were hating all over Mother Theresa.  Nobody gets a pass here.
2014-03-17 10:33:26 AM  
1 votes:

Mambo Bananapatch: Benevolent Misanthrope: hope this shiatstain dies alone, afraid, and in unimaginable agony while the people he created to be hateful farks like himself ignore him, having excommunicated him already.  I hope he gets to his Heaven and his god says, "I know thee not."  I hope he is cast into eternal torment, as his religion says those who do such things will be.

He won't. He'll go into oblivion like the rest of us, and with his last breath, no matter how painful it might be, he will exhale it secure in the belief that he lived his life as a righteous man, and will shortly be entering the Kingdom of Heaven. Sorry.


I know.  But a girl can dream.
2014-03-17 06:59:17 AM  
1 votes:

"Thou Shalt Not Judge"


But in this dick's case I'm wiling to make an exception.

2014-03-17 12:17:05 AM  
1 votes:
aww crap, wrong thread :/
2014-03-16 11:52:02 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 11:08:17 PM  
1 votes:
If the entirety of the WBC were on MH370 instead of the regular passengers would anyone even care what happened to the plane?

Thank you for tuning in to the news.
Some plane is lost.
And now your local forecast.
2014-03-16 09:39:30 PM  
1 votes:

JesusJuice: mudmin: JesusJuice: mudmin: FormlessOne: MooseUpNorth: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Think about it. The entire Christian faith is centered around convincing themselves there's eternal life after death and how to make it pleasant rather than horrific. It's always been about the fear of dying. Christians cling to life because they're terrified not to.

It's an odd paradox - Christians have been repeatedly assured, through their faith, that leading a good Christian life assures them an eternity of Heaven. You'd think that good Christians would not fear death, but embrace a good death as the rewarding end to a virtuous life.

Kind of makes you wonder just how much faith these folks have in their own religion, honestly.

True Christians don't fear death and do embrace it...but not as a reward for a virtuous life (that would be based on works)...but as a reward for coming to grips that as humans they are utterly without virtue and accepting Christ and allowing him to become their virtue.

That's really dumb.

Well the way I always think about it...if I'm wrong, I have nothing to lose by living a good life, trying to treat people right and follow the principles of the Bible. If you're wrong, you have everything to lose. One of us will be wrong and we won't know for sure until it's all sorted out in the end.

So I imagine you must follow all the other religions as well. Must be time consuming.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
Just following one religion is confusing enough
2014-03-16 08:12:30 PM  
1 votes:

mudmin: Not trolling. Dead serious.

I, for one, would like to apologize on behalf of the church for the horrible things done in the name of Christ. I'm sorry for the Crusades and for the Catholic Church selling indulgences to get people out of purgatory, for terrible pastors and priests, for Westboro (and every other church for that matter).

For thousands of years people have been doing things in the name of Jesus that don't represent Jesus.

As someone who has studied his life, I think Jesus is the kind of guy you'd love if you sat down and had a beer with him.  You'd find him frickin awesome. "Normal" people loved him. It was religious people who put him on the cross.  He even said 2000 years ago that people were going to do things in his name, but not really be followers...

From Matthew 7-  21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?'  23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

That's what he thinks of Westboro and all those people.

The truth of the matter is that just like we've had to find space in our brains that not all Muslims are terrorists. Some are really nice people who just want to live their lives.  Not all Christians are douches who hate the world.

Jesus is a pretty cool guy and I wouldn't let some Christians ruin that for you.


"Oh, hey, not trying to EVANGELIZE here.  Oh no, got tons of respect for other beliefs!  Just explainin' a little bit about how I see things, is that cool?  Yeah, seems like a lot of misconceptions about my buddy Jesus and, gosh darnit. I just wanna say "sorry" for all the phony Christians out there, and hope to set the record straight!  Nothing serious, just talkin' about ideas and stuff...

Hey listen if you're not doing anything next Sunday..."
2014-03-16 07:32:20 PM  
1 votes:
I hope he will have a traditional funeral and will be embalmed. They stick a big plastic screw way up there to prevent leakage.
2014-03-16 05:53:08 PM  
1 votes:
teenage mutant ninja rapist

Excuse me is this the party everyone has been talking about?


upload.wikimedia.org

Yes.
2014-03-16 05:52:28 PM  
1 votes:

AcademGreen: What if we find out that in his last days he took a young man cabana boy into his heart and converted completely to teh gay in his final days.

The screenplay could become the next Brokeback Mountain... with wrinkly old man balls.

//He could be played by Charlton Heston
//Cabana boy could be Zac Efron Justin Bieber


FTFM
2014-03-16 04:45:37 PM  
1 votes:
static.someecards.com

I hope people take turns rolling him over in his casket, cornholing him viciously, then taking a nice sloppy dump in his casket.
2014-03-16 04:45:12 PM  
1 votes:
media.oregonlive.com
Apparently someone made this a while ago.... I can't take credit.
2014-03-16 04:20:43 PM  
1 votes:

AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."

Every time....

Trolling Trekkies is no way to go through life, son.

Who said it was the Trekkies I was trolling? ;)


I took "Every time" to mean you were trolling and I bit.  Inasmuch as I bit it was correcting "God" to "The Prophets" because of Deep Space Nine and the Bajoran religion, which was a very Trekkie thing.

If you weren't trying to troll Trekkies, then I'm not sure how I count as one of your successes.

/This is the nerdiest argument I've been in all day.
2014-03-16 04:01:39 PM  
1 votes:

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


Well Bin Laden killed thousands of Americans and Phelps was pretty much only a nuisance so it should be a no brainier but Obama was the one who had Bin Laden killed and that pissed off a lot of Republicans, so it's a wash.
2014-03-16 04:00:39 PM  
1 votes:
I...I just hope...I just hope that he lived long enough to read this thread.
2014-03-16 03:46:58 PM  
1 votes:

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.

It can happen.


Forgot to add:

for-shits-and-giggles.com

Mtv agrees with you.
2014-03-16 03:21:56 PM  
1 votes:

Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?


Probably fell mouth first on a dick.

It can happen.
2014-03-16 03:19:15 PM  
1 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com

HE'S GETTING AWAY!!!!
2014-03-16 02:46:25 PM  
1 votes:
imageshack.com
2014-03-16 02:13:44 PM  
1 votes:

Mart Laar's beard shaver: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 684x452]

Goodnight, Jayhawk-man.


Meanwhile, in Missouri...

media3.s-nbcnews.com
2014-03-16 01:57:46 PM  
1 votes:
To all of you wishing Fred Phelps have a long and painful death, may I just point out that dying in Kansas is punishment enough, and we can move on hating our true enemy, which is Karl Rove.
2014-03-16 01:54:09 PM  
1 votes:

Private_Citizen: I hope the devil wears him like a condom while sodomising the gayest demon in Hell.


www.wnd.com

What the gayest demon in Hell might look like.
2014-03-16 01:42:20 PM  
1 votes:

www.nndb.com


RIP Fred Phelps

2014-03-16 01:36:16 PM  
1 votes:
I imagine he was told last August that he has 6 or so months to live, and he thought "damn, can't go to the pearly gates being a hateful douchebag".  He said something to his flock like "hey let's dial back the hate a little" and his retard daughter freaked out and excommunicated him.  Now he's dying in a hospice and hoping god and the angels aren't keeping track real well.

Personally, I hope there's a stupendously gay dude working at that hospice and he brings his boyfriend into work late one night and the have horrifically crazy butt-sex above him with santorum dripping down all over face.  Then they lick it off and kiss it into his mouth.  But that's just me.  Maybe you're a little more forgiving, but I remember him protesting me when I worked at the Topeka Civic Theater.  I'm not even gay, but I'd suck a dick if it would make his heart stop.
2014-03-16 01:36:05 PM  
1 votes:
How's Jack Chick feeling?
2014-03-16 01:34:36 PM  
1 votes:

Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?


Yes, indeed. Hurry up and join your beloved Jeebus, "Reverend" Phelps.
2014-03-16 01:32:17 PM  
1 votes:

rewind2846: Or, he can just be reincarnated as a flamboyantly gay male in flyover country.


Interesting how much of flyover country is legalizing gay marriage before the coasts, huh?
2014-03-16 01:27:21 PM  
1 votes:
i1182.photobucket.com
2014-03-16 01:27:09 PM  
1 votes:
www.thewebsiteofdoom.com


/no RIP for this festering pustule on humanity
//none for Phelps either
2014-03-16 01:26:42 PM  
1 votes:
Phelps' death should not be cause for protest, nor celebration, but mourning. For the gay community has lost one of their staunchest allies in the fight for equal rights.
2014-03-16 01:24:15 PM  
1 votes:

JesusJuice: Anyone know which hospital/care facility he's in? I would like to mock him as he dies.


Click the little Facebook link at the top of the thread and you will find the name.
2014-03-16 01:24:08 PM  
1 votes:

Tymast: Being excommunicated none of the other family members are allowed to visit him so he is wasting away alone in the hospice.


I hope he thinks he's going to hell. I hope he's afraid. I hope he dies slowly and suffers greatly.
2014-03-16 01:22:23 PM  
1 votes:
I actually don't want Phelps to die. Not yet. I want him to suffer a long time, to linger in pain and misery, to writhe in paroxysms of agony for all the assholiness he caused here on earth. And then, if there is such a place, I want whatever black, charred, rancid husk of a soul he has to spend the rest of eternity and into the next incarnation of the universe in the lowest and most foul pit of hell that can exist.

Or, he can just be reincarnated as a flamboyantly gay male in flyover country.

/FAAAA-BUUU-LOUS!
2014-03-16 01:22:03 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: He can finally come out of the closet now


Maybe that's why he was excommunicated.
2014-03-16 01:17:54 PM  
1 votes:

perigee: I call for an army of homos, armed with super-soakers and a month worth of saved up semen. Start hoarding ammo now!


After a month, who needs a super-soaker?
2014-03-16 01:17:52 PM  
1 votes:

Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?


$5 says he came out of the closet.

And I'll put down $2 more on "gay sex scandal."
2014-03-16 01:15:30 PM  
1 votes:
"-they bein' partickler friends o' the diseased.  That's why they're invited here this evenin'; but tomorrow we want  all to come-everybody; for he respected everybody, he liked everybody, and so it's fitten that his funeral orgies sh'd be public."

...

"I say orgies, not because it's the common term, because it ain't-obsequies bein' the common term-but because orgies is the right term. Obsequies ain't used in England no more now-it's gone out.  We say orgies now in England.  Orgies is better, because it means the thing you're after more exact.  It's a word that's made up out'n the Greek  orgo, outside, open, abroad; and the Hebrew  jeesum, to plant, cover up; hence inter.  So, you see, funeral orgies is an open er public funeral."
2014-03-16 12:45:26 PM  
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: doyner: While I think this guy's "contributions" to society have been extremely counterproductive, I'm not so sure that the proper response to him lying in hospice is hateful vitriol.  It strikes me as just as petty as what everyone is upset with him about.

That's why I'm going to celebrate by kissing another girl.


That's the spirit!
2014-03-16 12:44:32 PM  
1 votes:

Kevin72: Tarl3k: MBK: They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.

We have a winner...

But how many times can you sing "ding dong the witch is dead"?


All of them, Charlie.
2014-03-16 12:43:45 PM  
1 votes:
I'm going to make soooo much money selling commemorative codpieces at this funeral.....
2014-03-16 12:32:56 PM  
1 votes:

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


Yep, he took every opportunity to express his hatred of gays.

Just like you do with liberals.

/It's all silly anyway.
//Judging by who dies, God hates all of us.
2014-03-16 12:27:28 PM  
1 votes:
s27.postimg.org
2014-03-16 12:21:56 PM  
1 votes:
I hope the devil wears him like a condom while sodomising the gayest demon in Hell.

Daily.

/Never Rest, you worthless pain bringing emotion vampire.
2014-03-16 12:17:54 PM  
1 votes:
I call for an army of homos, armed with super-soakers and a month worth of saved up semen. Start hoarding ammo now!
2014-03-16 12:07:18 PM  
1 votes:

machoprogrammer: His grave should be a place where gay men can go and have orgies on top of it


It would be great if it was in a state with gay marriage so people could go get gay married at it.
2014-03-16 12:00:45 PM  
1 votes:
FTFC:

"... may he rot slowly for the shame he brought on TRUE CHRISTIANS...I will be sure to piss on his grave"

Yep, that guys sounds like a "TRUE CHRISTIAN" to me.
2014-03-16 11:55:55 AM  
1 votes:

WippitGuud: FlyingBacon: Keep

You reap what you sow.


Look, quote fail.
God hates quote fail
hej
2014-03-16 11:52:19 AM  
1 votes:
Of course we're not going to protest his funeral, subby. Most people will be glad he's dead.
2014-03-16 11:47:41 AM  
1 votes:
Pretty bad when the only way for you to get better in the head is to find God and God says, "No. We're going to have to do this face to face."

/you just wait till your Father gets home!
/go cut a switch.
2014-03-16 11:47:01 AM  
1 votes:
This will be an interesting conversation.

i.imgur.com
2014-03-16 11:45:33 AM  
1 votes:
The thing is, too, that if his goal in life was to try to stamp out homosexuality, hhe was a complete and utter failure at it.  If anything, he was one of the best friends the gay rights movement ever had, because he just made it clear that behind any effort to deny gay people their rights is raw bigotry.

And his rhetoric was so horrifying that it forced other anti gay rights activitsts to tone down their rhetoric, thus makeing it that much harder for them to advocate for what had to have been their dream, a re-criminalization of homosexualty. Because it's hard to make that argument without sounding like the Phelps Family, and puts you in the same group as an asshole who pickets funerals of dead soldiers and children.  Of course, that's because what you believe is as noxious and horrifying as what he did, but he denies you the cover of pretending otherwise.

He was so ineffective at getting his message across that the only logical sounding explanation has to be that it was all an elaborate insurance scam: provoke people into attacking you, sue them, collect the settlement check.
2014-03-16 11:44:47 AM  
1 votes:
Goodnight, funny man.
2014-03-16 11:43:03 AM  
1 votes:
I'm keeping this handy for when he finally dies.
2014-03-16 11:42:56 AM  
1 votes:

mariner314: Good.

Now all I need is Pat Robertson to bite it and today would be perfect.


Bad news: Pat Robertson's actually only about 24 years old. He was created with an appearance of age to test our faith.
2014-03-16 11:36:24 AM  
1 votes:
Well, great. The first time in five years I left him out of my dead pool. But go on, I won't complain.
2014-03-16 11:34:02 AM  
1 votes:

CruJones: I'd prefer him to be terminally ill,and long suffering and the only way he can stay alive is through repeated transfusions from gay donors.


Beef injections through the shipping dock?
2014-03-16 11:33:48 AM  
1 votes:

Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?


Think about it. The entire Christian faith is centered around convincing themselves there's eternal life after death and how to make it pleasant rather than horrific. It's always been about the fear of dying. Christians cling to life because they're terrified not to.
2014-03-16 11:32:24 AM  
1 votes:

FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


Eye for an eye, furthermore, such as.
2014-03-16 11:31:22 AM  
1 votes:
Good.

Now all I need is Pat Robertson to bite it and today would be perfect.
2014-03-16 11:28:26 AM  
1 votes:

Soulcatcher: Chariset: RTOGUY: He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized for years to come.

Safest thing would be to have him cremated and scatter the ashes.

Isn't it cute how his wonderful, loving family-slash-church have decided they can do without him?  If he's dying now and he was kicked out back in August, they could have given him the boot just as his health started taking a turn for the worse.  Who needs that expensive liability, right?

On the one hand, I'm scared that Westboro Baptist has apparently become autonomous, but on the other hand I think it'll eventually fall to infighting between the siblings as they try to take over.

Scatter the ashes? How about flush the ashes? This guy is one of the worst pieces of shiat on the planet. Fark him.


The EPA might object, Abe Vigoda still kicking though
2014-03-16 11:27:12 AM  
1 votes:

Chariset: RTOGUY: He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized for years to come.

Safest thing would be to have him cremated and scatter the ashes.

Isn't it cute how his wonderful, loving family-slash-church have decided they can do without him?  If he's dying now and he was kicked out back in August, they could have given him the boot just as his health started taking a turn for the worse.  Who needs that expensive liability, right?

On the one hand, I'm scared that Westboro Baptist has apparently become autonomous, but on the other hand I think it'll eventually fall to infighting between the siblings as they try to take over.


Scatter the ashes? How about flush the ashes? This guy is one of the worst pieces of shiat on the planet. Fark him.
2014-03-16 11:26:58 AM  
1 votes:
Can his gravesite double as an interstate rest stop toilet?
2014-03-16 11:26:05 AM  
1 votes:
So apparently you still die even when 100% of your body is cancer.
2014-03-16 11:25:22 AM  
1 votes:

AcademGreen: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Pope Pius V on his death bed, repeating: "O Lord, increase my sufferings and my patience!"

Some Christians like the suffering.  It makes them feel like Jesus.



After a bad night of beer and Taco Bell, I don't know if Jesus-like is the word I would use.
2014-03-16 11:24:31 AM  
1 votes:
Praise be to God.

If there is a gay parade at his funeral, I'm heading down from Canada.
2014-03-16 11:19:28 AM  
1 votes:

Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?


Yeah, that's the interesting bit. Gay pasa?
2014-03-16 11:17:42 AM  
1 votes:
I'm not going to gloat, but it's hard to pretend that the world won't be a better place without him.
2014-03-16 11:16:55 AM  
1 votes:
My coffee tasted better after reading this. Freddy boy, tell us again how you are going to heaven? XD
2014-03-16 11:14:58 AM  
1 votes:
I think this proves the existence of God.

I've long said that people like him live long lives because they aren't allowed to leave the planet until they stop farking up.  Kind of like how you don't let your dog back in until after you know that it pooped.  God didn't want that filth in His house.

Rather curious to know the details surrounding the excommunication, now.
2014-03-16 11:13:31 AM  
1 votes:
I'm predicting an epic thread of epic proportions with concise and thoughtful debate.  *munches popcorn*
2014-03-16 11:13:25 AM  
1 votes:
I will not succumb to his message of hate.

Rest in Peace, hateful man.
2014-03-16 11:12:02 AM  
1 votes:

Mad Tea Party: Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.

[i23.photobucket.com image 631x128]


img.fark.net
He obviously did Larry Craig
2014-03-16 11:11:26 AM  
1 votes:

Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


He came out.
2014-03-16 11:07:47 AM  
1 votes:
i792.photobucket.com
2014-03-16 11:07:45 AM  
1 votes:
Kill 'em with kindness. Everybody send flowers.
2014-03-16 11:06:41 AM  
1 votes:
Rumor has it that Fred was excommunicated by his own kids two years ago.

Probably because they finally realized he was heavily closeted.
2014-03-16 11:05:49 AM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-03-16 11:05:34 AM  
1 votes:
He can finally come out of the closet now
2014-03-16 11:04:09 AM  
1 votes:
I generally don't wish death/ill health upon anyone but long ago made an exception for this stain upon humanity.  All I can say about this news is .... good.

They could probably solve California's drought if there was a piss tube installed over Fred's grave

/leading to a purification plant of course
2014-03-16 11:03:38 AM  
1 votes:
He's about to see how god feels about bigots...or how imaginary people feel about nothing.
2014-03-16 11:01:28 AM  
1 votes:

MBK: They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.


We have a winner...
2014-03-16 10:25:27 AM  
1 votes:
He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized for years to come.
2014-03-16 10:17:36 AM  
1 votes:

nekom: His funeral is going to look like burning man


Actually the best funeral would have ZERO attendees, with the family choosing to have his corpse tossed in an unmarked ditch somewhere.
 
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