If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Facebook)   Fred Phelps reportedly near death. No word of plans to protest his funeral   (facebook.com) divider line 564
    More: News, Fred Phelps  
•       •       •

16714 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 11:00 AM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



564 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-16 03:35:25 PM

06Wahoo: I'm certainly no fan of the man, but for all the people who whine about his hate, they hardly seem like the loving types themselves.


So condemning the sort of hateful bile that got Matthew Shepard tied to a fence is "whining".

Yes yes, both sides are just as bad but the important thing is you've found a way to feel superior to both.

/pat pat on the head.
 
2014-03-16 03:36:22 PM
Just a small sermon to all the guys asking why christians cling to life?

This has been studied, because need to know how people make decisions at end of life,

And the paradox of christians being more likely to want extended medical intervention has been noted.

The way they make it consistent with their beliefs is that they believe in miracles, and so they need to give god time to perform one.

Tortured reasoning, sure, but in my experience few people are completely rational when they get to the end
 
2014-03-16 03:38:54 PM

Aquapope: 06Wahoo: I'm certainly no fan of the man, but for all the people who whine about his hate, they hardly seem like the loving types themselves.

But then, I've always found it weird that people who support homosexuals wish homosexuality on people as if it were a punishment.  Apparently, you can have it both ways.

/Please, no stupid jokes off of that last sentence.
//I can easily see the pun written there.

You're not very bright, are you?
It's not the gay that's the punishment, it's the being cursed with the thing you hate.  He could have railed against blacks, and the punishment would be being reincarnated black.  Black itself isn't the punishment, it being what you hated.


It worked for Mork.
 
2014-03-16 03:39:40 PM

travoltron: Or...the everyone, including the gay communities, minorities and other people he pissed his special breed of vitriol all over, could send flowers and condolences to the family and loved ones proving that they understand the message of the bible and are closer to the concept of faith ol' Freddy claimed to have the lions share of.


Just sayin'.


I'd rather not waste that money on them directly, but I will make sure to donate to many LGBT and women's charities under his name instead of my own from now on.
 
2014-03-16 03:39:49 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [i49.tinypic.com image 500x700]


My God... I love that gif... *saved*
 
2014-03-16 03:41:38 PM

Do you know the way to Mordor: That time that you made it with the homosexual team


You could have kept this line as "football team" and it would have held the same meaning.
 
2014-03-16 03:42:47 PM

Mister Peejay: I've long said that people like him live long lives because they aren't allowed to leave the planet until they stop farking up.  Kind of like how you don't let your dog back in until after you know that it pooped.  God didn't want that filth in His house.

So... there isn't a hell, then? God will let you linger until your deathbed repentance?
 
2014-03-16 03:43:39 PM

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.


Probably on his way through a parking lot.
 
2014-03-16 03:45:20 PM
Would love to be a fly on the wall if he was personally greeted in the afterlife by...

static.comicvine.com

...and then watch them totally make out.
 
2014-03-16 03:46:58 PM

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.

It can happen.


Forgot to add:

for-shits-and-giggles.com

Mtv agrees with you.
 
2014-03-16 03:49:47 PM
What I would love to see is a quiet protest, where the streets are lined with thousands of people who all turn their backs to his hearse as it passes by. I've always wished everyone would just completely shun the whole group.

I do feel so sad for the children in that family, though. My heart breaks at the thought of what they are exposed to on a regular basis.
 
2014-03-16 03:50:00 PM

atomic-age: bindlestiff2600: what would be the going cost for a brass band in that area?

to play a medley of show tunes and Queen songs.


A mashup of "It's Raining Men", "Killer Queen" and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me"
 
2014-03-16 03:50:50 PM

MBK: They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.


^^^^  THIS!!!

And some nice fireworks afterwards...
Maybe a gay wet-t-shirt content or something too... a whole bunch of gay pride festivities

Someone needs to start raising funds on one of those "Crowd Source" funding-like sites for this... seriously!

THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!
THIS NEEDS TO BE ON YOUTUBE for those of us who can't make it!
 
2014-03-16 03:50:52 PM

lordjupiter: loonatic112358: lordjupiter: AspectRatio: loonatic112358: I'd like to see this group as a brief blip in human history that is forgotten by all.

This.

WHY?  Just so people can forget an unpleasant but very important lesson?  The answer to everything we don't like isn't "just ignore it and it will fade from history".

No, because they want the attention and to deny them that is the most effective thing you can do. These are people who revel in making people angry and make money by taking advantage of that anger. If when we as a nation look at this era and they're not recognized that is their hell. I know when discussing the era the activities and up oppositions of the Mormon church should be brought up reminding them of their interference in other states


And why do you think they get that reaction from people?  It's because society learns from such shenanigans and eventually vilifies it.  Those who don't learn that lesson either fall into groups like these that already exist or "rediscover" antiquated attitudes that have had their lack of appeal glossed over by time.

Society is a petry dish for human nature.  This kind of hatred and ignorance won't simply vanish.  We need to build up immunity to this kind of thing by attacking it when exposed to it.  When you stop vaccinating it allows old diseases to take hold and become epidemic.

viola.bz


Sadly true.  Much as I like the liberal/Progressive idea of humanity making its way towards enlightenment over the years, it cannot be denied the history is not unidirectional.

Societies can and do go backwards on social issues like civil rights and equality.
 
2014-03-16 03:51:20 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-16 03:55:34 PM

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


Yes
 
2014-03-16 03:55:42 PM
I don't understand the hate here for Phelps. Sure he smoked pot but he did win all those medals for the USA.
 
2014-03-16 03:56:23 PM

ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."


Every time....
 
2014-03-16 03:57:42 PM

Trixie212: I do feel so sad for the children in that family, though. My heart breaks at the thought of what they are exposed to on a regular basis.


All hope is not lost though. There was a teen singer duo named Prussian Blue, you can look them up, who sang about white pride and Hitler and all that shiat because that's how they were raised. Then they grew up and realized WTF are we doing? And turned their thinking around. People can get over their farked up upbringing.
 
2014-03-16 03:58:43 PM

06Wahoo: I'm certainly no fan of the manHitler, but for all the people who whine about his hate, they hardly seem like the loving types themselves.


Hmm, it's almost like there is a valid reason for hating an individual who has done wrong, you know unlike ignorantly hating an entire group for superficial reasons.
 
2014-03-16 03:59:10 PM

Deedeemarz: He came out


The only thing he came out of was the Westboro Baptist Church; En route to a house where he is being watched so as "not to hurt himself". Because, you know, suicide is completely okay in Christianity.

source
 
2014-03-16 04:00:39 PM
I...I just hope...I just hope that he lived long enough to read this thread.
 
2014-03-16 04:01:20 PM

SPLAMM: God hates Freds


False. Mr. Rogers was a Fred.

Hating Mr. Rogers is something even Satan couldn't bring himself to do.
 
2014-03-16 04:01:39 PM

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


Well Bin Laden killed thousands of Americans and Phelps was pretty much only a nuisance so it should be a no brainier but Obama was the one who had Bin Laden killed and that pissed off a lot of Republicans, so it's a wash.
 
2014-03-16 04:02:23 PM

Laobaojun: Hey Westboro!

Matthew 6:5, bitiches!


I think the "out" from 6:5 is that it's about praying in private. Street preachers are preaching and that's different. Plus, they're nuts.
 
2014-03-16 04:02:30 PM

Lee Jackson Beauregard: grumpfuff: Miss Alexandra: Phelps and his bunch are just obnoxious.  They have no clue.

Interesting note:  He's a registered Democrat.

/doesn't like d OR r

And you doubt heliocentricity, your point?

Phelps is a most loyal Democrat.

[imageshack.com image 600x450]


Well, yea, I could have pointed out that his feelings might have changed since he registered way back when, what with Democrats supporting marriage equality now.

But this is Fark, and there was low hanging fruit. No brainer.
 
2014-03-16 04:02:45 PM

Mad Tea Party: Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.

[i23.photobucket.com image 631x128]


I giggled at this one.  Nice job.
 
2014-03-16 04:02:58 PM

Tenga: I...I just hope...I just hope that he lived long enough to read this thread.


Let's hope

awesomelyluvvie.com
 
2014-03-16 04:08:31 PM

Mugato: Trixie212: I do feel so sad for the children in that family, though. My heart breaks at the thought of what they are exposed to on a regular basis.

All hope is not lost though. There was a teen singer duo named Prussian Blue, you can look them up, who sang about white pride and Hitler and all that shiat because that's how they were raised. Then they grew up and realized WTF are we doing? And turned their thinking around. People can get over their farked up upbringing.


You're right. They have had some family members that defected. It's interesting to read their stories.
 
2014-03-16 04:09:30 PM

AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."

Every time....


Trolling Trekkies is no way to go through life, son.
 
2014-03-16 04:11:41 PM

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


I seem to remember the Fark thread (or one of the threads) for Bin Laden's death.  If memory serves, it was a lot like this one, in that most Farkers were rejoicing and a few were taking the high road and saying that while we're certainly better off without him, we shouldn't make it a party.
 
2014-03-16 04:12:28 PM

Trixie212: Mugato: Trixie212: I do feel so sad for the children in that family, though. My heart breaks at the thought of what they are exposed to on a regular basis.

All hope is not lost though. There was a teen singer duo named Prussian Blue, you can look them up, who sang about white pride and Hitler and all that shiat because that's how they were raised. Then they grew up and realized WTF are we doing? And turned their thinking around. People can get over their farked up upbringing.

You're right. They have had some family members that defected. It's interesting to read their stories.


From what I remember wasn't it more a case of they tried pot, discovered when they're stoned they suddenly don't hate anybody  and wish them dead anymore and found that being stoned and happy is better than being sober and hateful.
 
2014-03-16 04:13:03 PM

Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?


That man is not, and probably never was a christian. That's like saying Hitler was a humanitarian because he said he was.

Just another hate filled ignorant bigot using the christian name as an excuse for his stupidity.
 
2014-03-16 04:14:08 PM

ciberido: AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."

Every time....

Trolling Trekkies is no way to go through life, son.


Who said it was the Trekkies I was trolling? ;)
 
2014-03-16 04:18:57 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Some of the same people here cheering Phelps's demise were some of the same one clutching their pearls when Breitbart died -- oh, he had a family!  Think of the children!

To me, we could easily marginalize Phelps as a batshiat guy in charge of a batshiat organization, and he should be rightfully excoriated.  But Breitbart was far worse, for he manipulated vulnerable and stupid people to believe lies and to take them as gospel.  Breitbart's damage was much more far reaching.

\so, TL;DR--screw 'em both


"Some" = one of em.

Get over yourself. Phelps is and always be a reprehensible scumbag.
 
2014-03-16 04:20:43 PM

AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."

Every time....

Trolling Trekkies is no way to go through life, son.

Who said it was the Trekkies I was trolling? ;)


I took "Every time" to mean you were trolling and I bit.  Inasmuch as I bit it was correcting "God" to "The Prophets" because of Deep Space Nine and the Bajoran religion, which was a very Trekkie thing.

If you weren't trying to troll Trekkies, then I'm not sure how I count as one of your successes.

/This is the nerdiest argument I've been in all day.
 
2014-03-16 04:23:46 PM
RTOGUY: He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized Used as a place for gay sex for years to come.

FTFY

Hell I'm straight but if I believed in an afterlife to be tormented in I would consider having gay sex on his grave to make him impotently angry from the beyond.
 
2014-03-16 04:26:05 PM

bonobo73: I don't understand the hate here for Phelps. Sure he smoked pot but he did win all those medals for the USA.


I larfed.
 
2014-03-16 04:31:40 PM

Ghastly: Trixie212: Mugato: Trixie212: I do feel so sad for the children in that family, though. My heart breaks at the thought of what they are exposed to on a regular basis.

All hope is not lost though. There was a teen singer duo named Prussian Blue, you can look them up, who sang about white pride and Hitler and all that shiat because that's how they were raised. Then they grew up and realized WTF are we doing? And turned their thinking around. People can get over their farked up upbringing.

You're right. They have had some family members that defected. It's interesting to read their stories.

From what I remember wasn't it more a case of they tried pot, discovered when they're stoned they suddenly don't hate anybody  and wish them dead anymore and found that being stoned and happy is better than being sober and hateful.


I think I remember reading that his granddaughters left because they were asked some pointed questions about what they preached that they couldn't really justify. But it sounds reasonable that others in the family left for the reasons you stated. I believe there's been almost two dozen of them leave. They are now referred to as "betrayers".

/would love to know why old Fred was excommunicated.
 
2014-03-16 04:34:39 PM

Loucifer: How close to death is he? Cause I should start holding my pee.


Yes, he deserves a liberal coat of polyurinestain.
 
2014-03-16 04:37:40 PM

The Glorified Jailer: The only reason I still live in Kansas


You've stayed in Kansas waiting for Fred to die so you can urinate on his gravestone?   I think you're giving him a little but too much importance in your life.   Fred was a mean and hateful person full of piss and vinegar and yet he is still of no consequence.   He should have a peaceful death and a quiet family funeral.  Maybe he'll even be cremated so we don't have to hear of people desecrating his grave.

The best result that can come from Fred's death is that we can quit talking about him and his attention whoring around the country.    If you actually lived in Topeka, you'd know the best way to handle Fred is to ignore him.  Don't even turn your head his direction.  Don't put his stupid hatred in the paper or on TV.  Just ignore him.

/And his death
 
2014-03-16 04:45:12 PM
media.oregonlive.com
Apparently someone made this a while ago.... I can't take credit.
 
2014-03-16 04:45:37 PM
static.someecards.com

I hope people take turns rolling him over in his casket, cornholing him viciously, then taking a nice sloppy dump in his casket.
 
2014-03-16 04:52:55 PM

ciberido: AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: ciberido: AthensBoy: [www.elephantjournal.com image 420x295]

Am I doing this right?

No.  It should have said "The Prophets Hate Jedi."

Every time....

Trolling Trekkies is no way to go through life, son.

Who said it was the Trekkies I was trolling? ;)

I took "Every time" to mean you were trolling and I bit.  Inasmuch as I bit it was correcting "God" to "The Prophets" because of Deep Space Nine and the Bajoran religion, which was a very Trekkie thing.

If you weren't trying to troll Trekkies, then I'm not sure how I count as one of your successes.

/This is the nerdiest argument I've been in all day.


Meant to be more so of "Every time I do it wrong..."

/raised OST.
//Glad to be a part of the nerdiest argument of the day.
 
2014-03-16 05:04:21 PM

Ghastly: Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?

Probably fell mouth first on a dick.

It can happen.


Wally:  I went out driving, because as you know I love driving... when suddenly I had to take the biggest pee in the world. So I saw this washroom. I stopped in, but it was full of those "types." You know, queers and queens. So one of them tried to kiss me... and I said, "No! No, no." But he just kept kissing me. Why would he do that?
 
Psychiatrist: Well, didn't you tell me that you had... gripped him by the buttocks and pulled him closer?

Wally:  Yes, but that was 'cause I was concerned that he might fall. Doctor, his pants were down around his goddamn ankles.
 
2014-03-16 05:07:35 PM
 A facebook post is not a news source, even if it's indeed a family member
 
2014-03-16 05:09:56 PM
Die slowly and painfully, you piece of shiat.   While it would be nice to believe that there is a Hell you could spend the rest of eternity in, it would be more fitting for you to realize in your dying moments that there is no afterlife and that you wasted the entirety of your existence worshiping a figment of your own imagination.
 
2014-03-16 05:12:35 PM

germ78: Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.

My guess is he got the diagnosis of only months to live and only then saw the error of his ways. He then tried to change the church's course and they wanted to hear none of it. Which is a classic "sow the wind, reap the whirlwind" ending.


Let's take that a step or two further:

Fred had a "near death" experience, in which God and Jesus explained exactly how he'd misunderstood everything that Christianity stands for: do unto others, love thy neighbor, judge not, lest ye be judged.  He was given one chance at redemption - to show his children and grandchildren the error of his way and encourage them to understand what Christianity means.

Instead of trying to wrap their heads around the message their patriarch returned with, they spiritually kicked him to the curb.  He lays on his deathbed, disavowed by those who once followed him and denied the comfort of those children and grandchildren that recognized early the folly of the father and seek now to let him know that in spite of the past, he is loved.
 
2014-03-16 05:12:57 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-16 05:17:26 PM

Ghastly: From what I remember wasn't it more a case of they tried pot, discovered when they're stoned they suddenly don't hate anybody  and wish them dead anymore and found that being stoned and happy is better than being sober and hateful.


I think I give them more credit than the power of weed. There are plenty of racist potheads.
 
Displayed 50 of 564 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report