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(Facebook)   Fred Phelps reportedly near death. No word of plans to protest his funeral   (facebook.com) divider line 563
    More: News, Fred Phelps  
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16761 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 11:00 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-16 12:07:27 PM  

mudmin: FormlessOne: MooseUpNorth: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Think about it. The entire Christian faith is centered around convincing themselves there's eternal life after death and how to make it pleasant rather than horrific. It's always been about the fear of dying. Christians cling to life because they're terrified not to.

It's an odd paradox - Christians have been repeatedly assured, through their faith, that leading a good Christian life assures them an eternity of Heaven. You'd think that good Christians would not fear death, but embrace a good death as the rewarding end to a virtuous life.

Kind of makes you wonder just how much faith these folks have in their own religion, honestly.

True Christians don't fear death and do embrace it...but not as a reward for a virtuous life (that would be based on works)...but as a reward for coming to grips that as humans they are utterly without virtue and accepting Christ and allowing him to become their virtue.


And the True Scotsman rears its head. So, in other words, I've yet to meet a single "true" Christian - just Christians? Huh.
 
2014-03-16 12:08:08 PM  

jbc: I'd normally disagree out of respect to the family, but since they are equally reprehensible excuses for mammals, I think some "God Hates Bigots" pickets are in order here.


Has Fred come up with the perfect plan to ensure that there will be people at his funeral?
 
hej
2014-03-16 12:08:41 PM  

Krustofsky: Still undefeated:


How do you figure? Phelps is like five hundred years old and dying a natural death. Never mind that he did more than enough procreating.
 
2014-03-16 12:08:48 PM  
I say the picket signs should reflect, not hatred, but love of your fellow humans. Why stoop to the same reprehensible level as this man? While it is fun to think about 1000 "GOD HATES FRED" signs adorning his funeral site and the freedom riders revving their harleys so the funeral proceedings cannot be heard, it lets the world know that this man, however disgusting and amoral, was important enough to warrant attendees at his funeral.
 
2014-03-16 12:09:22 PM  
The Klan even thought this guy was farked.  The Klan.

So why should we white knight him?
 
2014-03-16 12:10:55 PM  

AcademGreen: JerseyTim: Wouldn't it be ironic of the Westboro Baptist Church protested his funeral?

Wouldn't that be like dividing by zero?

I can see it now: The Phelps clan protesting elder Phelps funeral.  Suddenly a wave of light sweeps out from each of their bodies and washes over the city.  The clan looks around, confused, as if coming out of a trance.  They drop their signs to the sidewalk.  Sherley Phelps, with a smile on her face says to her kin-- "It's over.  The curse is broken."   They celebrate at Denny's.  Fin.


You win this thread HANDS DOWN.
 
2014-03-16 12:11:47 PM  
No, get hundreds of people to show up to his funeral, sit solemnly, go to the family and pay their condolences. Show these (*#$%(*#$*( pieces of (*$#*($*$ in-the-head (*$#(*$#$ what love really is.

Of course show up dressed in black or rainbow or bright pink.
 
2014-03-16 12:12:49 PM  
He is a shining example of of what hate looks like today in modern America.
 
2014-03-16 12:13:19 PM  

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


Nobody really knew if bin Laden was still alive. Or if he was a CIA agent and a patsy for an inside job. Of course, we will never know if Phelps were secretly CIA either.
 
2014-03-16 12:13:27 PM  

iron de havilland: Well, it does show a level of sociopathy on your part that you can classify him as non-human.


I'm sure Fred Phelps is immensely comforted by you considering him one of your own.

Although you're probably kidding yourself. He probably thinks you're gay and hates you even as he draws his final, undeserved, breath.
 
2014-03-16 12:14:34 PM  
Wow Fark, you guys sure hate homosexuals.

/ That is, closeted, self-hating homosexuals, but still.
 
2014-03-16 12:15:23 PM  
He had a lot to say.
He had a lot of nothing to say.
We'll miss him.

We're gonna miss him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHdlhUfJ5qc
 
2014-03-16 12:16:31 PM  

FormlessOne: MooseUpNorth: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Think about it. The entire Christian faith is centered around convincing themselves there's eternal life after death and how to make it pleasant rather than horrific. It's always been about the fear of dying. Christians cling to life because they're terrified not to.

It's an odd paradox - Christians have been repeatedly assured, through their faith, that leading a good Christian life assures them an eternity of Heaven. You'd think that good Christians would not fear death, but embrace a good death as the rewarding end to a virtuous life.

Kind of makes you wonder just how much faith these folks have in their own religion, honestly.


Many people are more attached to the traditions and trappings of religion because they grew up in it. Look at your first sentence, how often do you here from people who claim to be Christian think of they just go to church and be good act holy and all that bull shiat they'll go to heaven and get to wander streets of gold. Which shows right their they never read their own bible, the source book for everything their supposed to believe. because Jesus says something completely different, that faith in him, etc is it. Later on its brought up that acts of worship, and such are evidence of faith, but they are not what get you in.

In the US so often people rely on others to tell them what to believe instead of just reading the instructions of their faith.
 
2014-03-16 12:16:44 PM  
I'm pretty sure the whole Phelps family is expecting a cacophonous protest. They're very rich - they'll probably hold it in the middle of one of their massive private properties where no one can step foot without getting sued for thousands.
 
2014-03-16 12:17:42 PM  

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


You are so cutting edge and modern.
 
2014-03-16 12:17:50 PM  
That he is alive and my father is dead has bothered me since 2007.
 
2014-03-16 12:17:54 PM  
I call for an army of homos, armed with super-soakers and a month worth of saved up semen. Start hoarding ammo now!
 
2014-03-16 12:19:46 PM  

MaestroJ: I'm pretty sure the whole Phelps family is expecting a cacophonous protest. They're very rich - they'll probably hold it in the middle of one of their massive private properties where no one can step foot without getting sued for thousands.


I don't really care about some epic revenge protest (though I will laugh if it happens).  I just want this guy to finally die and either just disappear from existence or finally get to meet this God he's been talking about and get his report card.
 
2014-03-16 12:20:53 PM  

MaestroJ: I'm pretty sure the whole Phelps family is expecting a cacophonous protest. They're very rich - they'll probably hold it in the middle of one of their massive private properties where no one can step foot without getting sued for thousands.


I thought they'd been sued recently and didn't have much left, or was that another hate group

Westboro or a white supremacy group or was it both
 
2014-03-16 12:21:13 PM  

doyner: While I think this guy's "contributions" to society have been extremely counterproductive, I'm not so sure that the proper response to him lying in hospice is hateful vitriol.  It strikes me as just as petty as what everyone is upset with him about.


That is a false equivalence.

While it would certainly be indicative of a mature and erudite adult to take the high road - at the same time this is one of the few truly miserable bastards almost anyone (even the goddamn KKK) can agree diminishes our world the longer they are a part of it. And there is good reason everyone feels this way about him and the awful movement he spawned.
 
2014-03-16 12:21:50 PM  
Thank God for dead bigots...


Betcha he's going to be in for one hell of a surprise..
 
2014-03-16 12:21:56 PM  
I hope the devil wears him like a condom while sodomising the gayest demon in Hell.

Daily.

/Never Rest, you worthless pain bringing emotion vampire.
 
2014-03-16 12:22:23 PM  
Hopefully it is slow and painful.
 
2014-03-16 12:22:27 PM  
I'd like to see this group as a brief blip in human history that is forgotten by all.
 
2014-03-16 12:24:27 PM  

whyerhead: Someone should sodomize him with a rusty baseball bat before he dies..


Baseball bats are made of wood, you're thinking of those abominations that college kids play with.
 
2014-03-16 12:26:07 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

The only reason I still live in Kansas. Time to start drinking some water. I want to be well hydrated.
 
2014-03-16 12:26:17 PM  
If a bunch of people protest his funeral, all you'll do is justify his actions to his supporters.  You want to strip him of his supporters, don't do anything.  Just ignore him as most of the rest of the country has done.  Let him and his stupidity fade away to the pages of insignificance.
 
2014-03-16 12:26:24 PM  

jake_lex: The thing is, too, that if his goal in life was to try to stamp out homosexuality, hhe was a complete and utter failure at it.  If anything, he was one of the best friends the gay rights movement ever had, because he just made it clear that behind any effort to deny gay people their rights is raw bigotry.

And his rhetoric was so horrifying that it forced other anti gay rights activitsts to tone down their rhetoric, thus makeing it that much harder for them to advocate for what had to have been their dream, a re-criminalization of homosexualty. Because it's hard to make that argument without sounding like the Phelps Family, and puts you in the same group as an asshole who pickets funerals of dead soldiers and children.  Of course, that's because what you believe is as noxious and horrifying as what he did, but he denies you the cover of pretending otherwise.

He was so ineffective at getting his message across that the only logical sounding explanation has to be that it was all an elaborate insurance scam: provoke people into attacking you, sue them, collect the settlement check.


So, the Westboro Baptist Church is part of the "Gay Agenda". Were they supported by gay advocacy groups? They sure kept that quiet...

Go, fred. There's a seat for you on the right side of Satan's throne. You'll have a popeship in Hell.
 
2014-03-16 12:26:44 PM  

jaybeezey: whyerhead: Someone should sodomize him with a rusty baseball bat before he dies..

Baseball bats are made of wood, you're thinking of those abominations that college kids play with.


Not even... those abominations are made from aluminum. They don't 'rust'. Maybe "pipe" would be more appropriate.
 
2014-03-16 12:27:28 PM  
s27.postimg.org
 
2014-03-16 12:28:10 PM  
I'm already drinking beer and eating asparagus...
 
2014-03-16 12:30:14 PM  
I've heard that Doctors are keeping him alive with repeated anal insemination.
 
2014-03-16 12:30:32 PM  

Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


My guess is he got the diagnosis of only months to live and only then saw the error of his ways. He then tried to change the church's course and they wanted to hear none of it. Which is a classic "sow the wind, reap the whirlwind" ending.
 
2014-03-16 12:30:41 PM  

Mad Tea Party: Serious Black: I'd love to know what Fred did to get excommunicated from Westboro.


My guess on why Freddie got the boot from is shiat heal cohorts:

Fred knew he was dying last year, and as the end drew nigh, he began to feel bad for what his life had become and wanted to make amends. The rest of his asshole clan wanted no part in it and shoved him out the door faster than you can blink. That's why they are keeping him in seclusion, so no one can here him say, "I was wrong."
 
2014-03-16 12:31:25 PM  

JohnnyC: jaybeezey: whyerhead: Someone should sodomize him with a rusty baseball bat before he dies..

Baseball bats are made of wood, you're thinking of those abominations that college kids play with.

Not even... those abominations are made from aluminum. They don't 'rust'. Maybe "pipe" would be more appropriate.


They undergo corrosion but when aluminium oxide forms it doesn't flake like iron oxide
 
2014-03-16 12:32:48 PM  
I'm not going to celebrate his death.  But I sure as hell won't be mourning it either.
 
2014-03-16 12:32:56 PM  

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


Yep, he took every opportunity to express his hatred of gays.

Just like you do with liberals.

/It's all silly anyway.
//Judging by who dies, God hates all of us.
 
2014-03-16 12:32:56 PM  
Well, darn.

In all seriousness, though, Fred has quite a few things to set right with the Man Upstairs before he gets to St. Peter.
 
2014-03-16 12:33:22 PM  
Death isn't always a sad thing.
 
2014-03-16 12:33:49 PM  

hej: Krustofsky: Still undefeated:

How do you figure? Phelps is like five hundred years old and dying a natural death. Never mind that he did more than enough procreating.


A sure sign that there is no god.
 
2014-03-16 12:35:00 PM  

TV's Vinnie: If this rumor is true, remember what I said to you Fark Mods. On that glorious day, just call in sick. Don't even bother to try moderating. There's simply going to be no damn way you can hold back the Tsunami of Schadenfreude that's going to slam through Fark like a Praxis Effect.


Death threads are very tricky. Its easy for things to get derailed and tempers flare. Considering who it is that's dying, its probably going to be one of the most brutal and harshest Fark threads ever.

And that evil piece of filth will deserve every ounce of it.
 
2014-03-16 12:35:16 PM  

bobothemagnificent: If a bunch of people protest his funeral, all you'll do is justify his actions to his supporters.  You want to strip him of his supporters, don't do anything.  Just ignore him as most of the rest of the country has done.  Let him and his stupidity fade away to the pages of insignificance.


Just schedule a gay pride parade elsewhere in the same city at the same time. Then his supporters have to choose between attending his funeral and protesting at the parade.
 
2014-03-16 12:36:18 PM  
www.freedomsphoenix.com

They see me a trolling.....
 
2014-03-16 12:36:47 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-03-16 12:37:18 PM  
We should hire Chick-fil-a to cater.
 
2014-03-16 12:37:30 PM  

that bosnian sniper: Nabb1: Protest? Asshole isn't worth the effort.

I say, send words of condolences and encouragement, prayers, and thoughts. Kill the bastards with kindness, and show them how Christianity damn well ought to behave instead of their hateful tripe.


Yup. This is how to do it.
 
2014-03-16 12:37:51 PM  

doyner: While I think this guy's "contributions" to society have been extremely counterproductive, I'm not so sure that the proper response to him lying in hospice is hateful vitriol.  It strikes me as just as petty as what everyone is upset with him about.


That's why I'm going to celebrate by kissing another girl.
 
2014-03-16 12:37:58 PM  
Best thing I've read on facebook...evar.
 
2014-03-16 12:38:10 PM  
You may commence sucking c*cks in Hell, Mr. Bigot McHatepants!
www.chicagoreader.com
 
2014-03-16 12:40:52 PM  

markie_farkie: [img.fark.net image 850x564]

Rot in hell, Fred..


Came here to say this.
 
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