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(Facebook)   Fred Phelps reportedly near death. No word of plans to protest his funeral   (facebook.com) divider line 563
    More: News, Fred Phelps  
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16747 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 11:00 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-16 11:26:00 AM  

spman: What if the WBC picketed his funeral?


Divide by zero error.
 
2014-03-16 11:26:05 AM  
So apparently you still die even when 100% of your body is cancer.
 
2014-03-16 11:26:28 AM  
Now. NOW is the time for the Dark Lord Satan to reveal himself in all his horrible glory and rise from the ground and swallow Fred whole during the funeral.

/pay to see it
 
2014-03-16 11:26:58 AM  
Can his gravesite double as an interstate rest stop toilet?
 
2014-03-16 11:27:12 AM  

Chariset: RTOGUY: He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized for years to come.

Safest thing would be to have him cremated and scatter the ashes.

Isn't it cute how his wonderful, loving family-slash-church have decided they can do without him?  If he's dying now and he was kicked out back in August, they could have given him the boot just as his health started taking a turn for the worse.  Who needs that expensive liability, right?

On the one hand, I'm scared that Westboro Baptist has apparently become autonomous, but on the other hand I think it'll eventually fall to infighting between the siblings as they try to take over.


Scatter the ashes? How about flush the ashes? This guy is one of the worst pieces of shiat on the planet. Fark him.
 
2014-03-16 11:27:25 AM  

poonesfarm: Can his gravesite double as an interstate rest stop toilet?


This works on so many levels.
 
2014-03-16 11:27:29 AM  
I fell no remorse for the death of this man in any way.

i13.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-16 11:27:36 AM  

bdub77: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Because they secretly know God doesn't really exist, at least as they perceive it.


Kind of my thinking as well.The same way that many non believers find faith on their deathbed. Many believers lose it.
 
2014-03-16 11:28:03 AM  

AcademGreen: symptomoftheuniverse: Meh. Now when Cheney bites it, that will be cause to party.

Cheney can't die.  He isn't really Human.  Haven't you seen Phantasm?



Cheney isn't from this world.  He's here to conquer it.


OMG! It all makes sense now. That farkin movie just got a lot scarier.
 
2014-03-16 11:28:26 AM  

Soulcatcher: Chariset: RTOGUY: He's going to need an unmarked grave or it's going to be shiat on and vandalized for years to come.

Safest thing would be to have him cremated and scatter the ashes.

Isn't it cute how his wonderful, loving family-slash-church have decided they can do without him?  If he's dying now and he was kicked out back in August, they could have given him the boot just as his health started taking a turn for the worse.  Who needs that expensive liability, right?

On the one hand, I'm scared that Westboro Baptist has apparently become autonomous, but on the other hand I think it'll eventually fall to infighting between the siblings as they try to take over.

Scatter the ashes? How about flush the ashes? This guy is one of the worst pieces of shiat on the planet. Fark him.


The EPA might object, Abe Vigoda still kicking though
 
2014-03-16 11:28:34 AM  
To paraphrase a time-honored quote:  I've never wished a person dead, but have read their obituaries with great pleasure.

MBK: They should host a big gay pride parade on the day of his funeral.


That, with Lady Gaga as Grand Marshall.
 
2014-03-16 11:29:10 AM  

Recoil Therapy: They could probably solve California's drought if there was a piss tube installed over Fred's grave


That's a terrible idea. Do you know how many pairs of tap shoes that would ruin?
 
2014-03-16 11:29:17 AM  

FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


His existence was a complete embarrassment to the human race. He deserves none of the common courtesy given to fellow human beings. The world will be better without him.
 
2014-03-16 11:29:30 AM  

Tenga: bdub77: Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?

Because they secretly know God doesn't really exist, at least as they perceive it.

Kind of my thinking as well.The same way that many non believers find faith on their deathbed. Many believers lose it.


I don't think either of those are all that common.
 
2014-03-16 11:30:38 AM  

FormlessOne: FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.

Nothing wrong with hating evil.


This! Would you have cried about hearing that Stalin died?
 
2014-03-16 11:30:57 AM  

21-7-b:


Well played.
 
2014-03-16 11:31:08 AM  
I'm a little late to the thread. Did he die yet? I hope I didn't miss it!
 
2014-03-16 11:31:22 AM  
Good.

Now all I need is Pat Robertson to bite it and today would be perfect.
 
2014-03-16 11:32:22 AM  
There's a problem in my mind in the fact that there's so many ways to respond to this, and all of them seem right.

Protest his funeral.
Ignore his funeral.
Throw - as was mentioned earlier - a "Burning Man"-level party at his funeral.
Bury the funeral with genuine condolences and flowers.

As evil as his actions may have been, he's still a fellow human being, and seeing your end has to suck for everyone involved.
 
2014-03-16 11:32:24 AM  

FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.


Eye for an eye, furthermore, such as.
 
2014-03-16 11:32:26 AM  

nekom: His funeral is going to look like burning man


Why wait? A prick like that would enjoy a good, old-fashioned martyrdom.
 
2014-03-16 11:33:20 AM  
...and?
 
2014-03-16 11:33:38 AM  
Still undefeated:
www.macroevolution.net
 
2014-03-16 11:33:48 AM  

Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?


Think about it. The entire Christian faith is centered around convincing themselves there's eternal life after death and how to make it pleasant rather than horrific. It's always been about the fear of dying. Christians cling to life because they're terrified not to.
 
2014-03-16 11:33:58 AM  
Some of the same people here cheering Phelps's demise were some of the same one clutching their pearls when Breitbart died -- oh, he had a family!  Think of the children!

To me, we could easily marginalize Phelps as a batshiat guy in charge of a batshiat organization, and he should be rightfully excoriated.  But Breitbart was far worse, for he manipulated vulnerable and stupid people to believe lies and to take them as gospel.  Breitbart's damage was much more far reaching.

\so, TL;DR--screw 'em both
 
2014-03-16 11:34:02 AM  

CruJones: I'd prefer him to be terminally ill,and long suffering and the only way he can stay alive is through repeated transfusions from gay donors.


Beef injections through the shipping dock?
 
2014-03-16 11:35:15 AM  
How close to death is he? Cause I should start holding my pee.
 
2014-03-16 11:35:55 AM  

JohnTuttle: As evil as his actions may have been, he's still a fellow human being


So your contention is that Phelps is a 'fellow human being'...

I'm thinking you and I have different ideas about what 'fellow', 'human', and 'being' mean.
 
2014-03-16 11:36:24 AM  
Well, great. The first time in five years I left him out of my dead pool. But go on, I won't complain.
 
2014-03-16 11:36:51 AM  
Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.
 
2014-03-16 11:36:53 AM  

symptomoftheuniverse: Meh. Now when Cheney bites it, that will be cause to party.


He's more machine now than man.
 
2014-03-16 11:37:22 AM  

Shadowknight: nullptr: Did the church oust him because he came out as gay? I mean, we all knew there was a 50/50 chance of him being buried deep in the closet.

/ oh so very deep

I actually doubt that.  I do know that a good number of his brood have defected and left the church.  Most of that number have even come out and said that they think he is wrong and don't have anything against gays.  So I'm wondering if maybe the majority of them didn't buy his brand of crazy, and saw no other reason than to boot him.


I'd be willing to money on the idea that the old man may have expressed regret that his clinging to a rather odd interpretation of the Bible has cost him the companionship and fellowship of many of his sons, daughters, grandsons and graddaughters.  His offspring that still cling tight to their beliefs saw this as weakness and removed him from the Westboro Baptist Church, lest his sentimentality be an unhealthy influence on others, particularly the younger members.
 
2014-03-16 11:37:32 AM  

Earguy: I want to learn more about Fred being "excommunicated" from his own church.  Is this true?  Why?


Seconded. (Thirded?)

Other than "This is what happens with all purity movements" (for lack of a better word...in other words, a group's continual efforts to purge the impure among them), details would be appreciated. We have the whole Internet - that story's got to be out there somewhere.
 
2014-03-16 11:37:46 AM  

Tenga: I'll never understand, why do Christians cling to life?


Quite frankly, I noticed that at age 10 and it was one of the first wedges driven into the half-built edifice of faith. I was out of religion by 11. I figured if they couldn't trick a kid, I would take my gullability elsewhere.
 
2014-03-16 11:38:05 AM  
I don't like the guy but I have the feeling that a good many folks protesting his funeral are going to fall into the category of "you're not helping".
 
2014-03-16 11:38:17 AM  
Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden
 
2014-03-16 11:38:26 AM  
Oh, if only there were a hell for this scumfark to go to.
 
2014-03-16 11:38:32 AM  

Mister Peejay: I think this proves the existence of God.

I've long said that people like him live long lives because they aren't allowed to leave the planet until they stop farking up.  Kind of like how you don't let your dog back in until after you know that it pooped.  God didn't want that filth in His house.

Rather curious to know the details surrounding the excommunication, now.


Fred: "Maybe we shouldn't be such dicks to people just because we don't approve of them behavior?"

Shirley: "GTFO now!!!!!"
 
2014-03-16 11:38:51 AM  

Chariset: I think it'll eventually fall to infighting


Agreed. It seems all cults eventually collapse.
 
2014-03-16 11:39:16 AM  

TV's Vinnie: FormlessOne: FlyingBacon: Wow. So much hate going on. Keep it classic farkers.

Nothing wrong with hating evil.

This! Would you have cried about hearing that Stalin died?


Well, he did some good things like............OK, give me a couple of hours, and I'll list them...or it, after I do some research.
 
2014-03-16 11:39:25 AM  

R.I.Pee Freddie


drawception.com

 
2014-03-16 11:39:36 AM  
 
2014-03-16 11:39:54 AM  
If Phelps goes to Heaven I'll gladly take Hell.
 
2014-03-16 11:40:06 AM  

mudmin: Survey. Whose death excites (excited) farkers most?
1. Phelps
2. Bin Laden


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-16 11:40:50 AM  
Phelps and his scumbag family were only exercising their First Amendment Right when they protested the funerals of soldiers who were killed in action.  It is only fitting that other Americans exercise that same right and protest his funeral.

Also, is this Nathan Phelps a real account?  I mean, his picture is of a troll.  Can we really take the post seriously?
 
2014-03-16 11:41:01 AM  

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.



Fred Phelps is not going to fark you, man.
 
2014-03-16 11:41:31 AM  

Flappyhead: If Phelps goes to Heaven I'll gladly take Hell.


Can't help but wonder how he would react when he gets there and there are gay people there.  Or would he just think he got sent to hell?
 
2014-03-16 11:42:05 AM  

SquiggsIN: None of us really needs to read this thread to know what's here, do we?



A lot of conflicted Farkers? Not surprising.
 
2014-03-16 11:42:20 AM  

Lsherm: Maybe this will result in less hate in the world, but I doubt it.  Fred Phelps probably had less hate in his heart than your typical Fark lib.


Yeah. I struggle with the whole idea that we are all supposed to be so tolerant of other people's opinions and lifestyles and rights...until they conflict with our own and then DIAF.

The guy was an a-hole but my guess is that he was really just plain sick in the head.  A lot of demented people turn to religion. This guy just happened to be a higher functioning (something)-path.
 
2014-03-16 11:42:56 AM  

mariner314: Good.

Now all I need is Pat Robertson to bite it and today would be perfect.


Bad news: Pat Robertson's actually only about 24 years old. He was created with an appearance of age to test our faith.
 
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