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(Huffington Post)   Eleven sure-fire ways to get the worst sleep of your life   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 7
    More: PSA, stress response  
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10530 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2014 at 6:45 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-16 07:32:15 AM  
4 votes:
12: Sleep on the bathroom side of the bed from a woman

13: Take your partner to Unlimited Bratwurst and Sauerkraut night at the beerhaus

14: "Accidentally" stick it in her pooper and get banished to the couch

15: Fail to notice her new hair and get banished to the couch

16: Leave the toilet seat up and get banished to the couch

17: Forget you were no longer banished to the couch and get banished to the couch.
2014-03-16 10:20:16 AM  
2 votes:

piercedgeek: Very timely thread too, after having gotten 2 or 3 hours of very broken sleep last night. Don't go past 1 kid, even if you think they sleep through the night, cause they will stop, start tag teaming with their younger sibling and wreck you. Both asleep now, going to crash for 15 min before one wakes back up


In reality, you're probably more zoned out than you think you are, or you should learn to be. Somewhere between the second and third kid I learned to tune out the ambient kid noise. Constant banging in the room was probably happening, but it didn't affect my concentration. Incessant questioning and squabbles could be handled from some subconscious part of my brain. Before you have kids and you see parents in a store with the kids carrying on, and wonder, "Don't they hear that?" Well, no they don't. When the third kid came along I actually used to do my physics homework while dealing with a fussy baby.

Then - they grow up and move away. None of the neighborhood kids are running through the house banging doors and turning up the radio. I hadn't heard quiet in over 20 years. I was sitting in the living room and heard a chime from the kitchen. I went to investigate and found the clock I'd bought 15 years prior made noise on the hour. I asked the wife how long has that been going on? "Since you bought it."
2014-03-16 09:50:08 AM  
2 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Caffiene makes me sleepy. Don't know why.


My wife has me make her a double shot of espresso if we're going to watch a movie at night.

/Sleeps like a baby
//Wakes up every two hours screaming.
2014-03-16 07:08:33 AM  
2 votes:
How to get to sleep quickly: Bring up Huffingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
2014-03-16 06:54:02 AM  
2 votes:
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
2014-03-16 01:53:34 PM  
1 votes:
Rreal:  14: "Accidentally" stick it in her pooper and get banished to the couch

Make it "on purpose" with her permission.  Then fall asleep w/o pulling out.  Guaranteed to be the most restful night's sleep either of you will ever have.  (Standard warnings about priapism, sanitation, lube choice, etc. apply)  If you've done it, you know what I mean.
2014-03-16 07:24:43 AM  
1 votes:

piercedgeek: Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids
Have kids


It's not there because Huffpo staff has not graduated college yet.
 
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