Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   Malaysian head investigator denies any conclusive evidence of hijacking   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 130
    More: Followup, Malaysia Airlines, flight MH370, Malaysia, historical capitals of China, Bay of Bengal, Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, air defence, Andaman Sea  
•       •       •

1727 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2014 at 1:21 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



130 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-03-15 01:14:33 AM  
Damn it, the Internet! Make up your mind!
 
2014-03-15 01:15:29 AM  

Sid_6.7: Damn it, the Internet! Make up your mind!


I know, right?
 
2014-03-15 01:17:24 AM  
George Zimmerman
 
2014-03-15 01:17:33 AM  
What's left? Magic? Time rifts?
 
2014-03-15 01:17:50 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: George Zimmerman


Drink!
 
2014-03-15 01:19:32 AM  
"There is absolutely no truth to this rumor..."
www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com
 
2014-03-15 01:20:02 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-15 01:24:46 AM  
Let's us not forget this article we all read many times over
http://www.vocativ.com/world/china/china-al-qaedas-cross-hairs/
 
2014-03-15 01:24:46 AM  
so what can you make out of this?
 
2014-03-15 01:26:50 AM  
I picked a hell of a day to stop sniffing glue.
 
2014-03-15 01:27:21 AM  

2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]


North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.
 
2014-03-15 01:28:56 AM  
I was wondering why the other one disappeared. Was going to try and bum some totalfark
 
2014-03-15 01:29:06 AM  
For God's sake! This is beyond beyond nuts!
 
2014-03-15 01:30:07 AM  

Confabulat: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]

North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.


I dunno.. they outsmarted Libya this week
 
2014-03-15 01:30:25 AM  

ShankatsuForte: I was wondering why the other one disappeared. Was going to try and bum some totalfark


Yeah, but the fact that story got replaced with this one was unintentionally hilarious.

But quite expected given the incredible ineptitude that are the people in charge of this operation in Malaysia.
 
2014-03-15 01:32:02 AM  
This is just like the gypsy woman said!
 
2014-03-15 01:32:45 AM  
Perhaps it hasn't yet pushed back from the gate?  Did anyone think to look there?
 
2014-03-15 01:35:52 AM  
The true truth will come Link
 
2014-03-15 01:35:53 AM  
I still think alien abduction is more likely.

/not really
 
2014-03-15 01:36:49 AM  
In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.
 
2014-03-15 01:36:50 AM  
The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014
 
2014-03-15 01:36:54 AM  

The Bestest: Confabulat: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]

North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.

I dunno.. they outsmarted Libya this week


So did Doc Brown
 
2014-03-15 01:39:06 AM  
The cool thing is, no matter what any of these news story say, we can all sit around imagining ourselves in a tube 30,000 feet in the air, when alarms go off, masks drop from the ceiling, and the captain tells us everything is alright as we look out of the window and see the the horizon hitting the ocean, growing closer, closer, closer; then we scream at our seatmate, "OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIE!", and some shiathead starts telling us we all need Jesus, and someone punches that guy and tells him to shut the fark up, and then we hear the engines whining as if ready to explode, and then the captain says, "I lied! We're not fine! We're all gonna DIIIIIIIE!"

That's the fun part.
 
2014-03-15 01:39:19 AM  
Well this is wrong bc foxnews said it was probably hijacking.
 
2014-03-15 01:40:03 AM  

Mrtraveler01: The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014


Australia was definitely within range of where the plane disappeared. Only the western part mind you, but it counts all the same.
 
2014-03-15 01:40:31 AM  

Cerebral Infarktion: so what can you make out of this?


Out of this? I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl. . .
 
2014-03-15 01:46:35 AM  

gunther_bumpass: Cerebral Infarktion: so what can you make out of this?

Out of this? I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl. . .


surely you are not serious...
 
2014-03-15 01:46:44 AM  
whothehellcares.jpg
 
2014-03-15 01:50:10 AM  

cardex: whothehellcares.jpg


whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png
 
2014-03-15 01:50:12 AM  
wow. i am shocked. no one would have predicted this after so much transparency already.
 
2014-03-15 01:52:21 AM  
I thought subby said "head detective " and was totally stoked for In Living Color references...
 
2014-03-15 01:55:34 AM  
I had a media center shredder once, thing worked great.
 
2014-03-15 01:55:39 AM  

FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png


You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp
 
2014-03-15 01:56:49 AM  
I hope it ends up that the jet was hacked by a drone that was controlled by a gay jewish communist mercenary behind seven proxies who got paid in bitcoins that the NSA acquired by selling medical pot, all as part of a convoluted scheme to promote Obamacare.
 
2014-03-15 01:58:47 AM  
The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.
 
2014-03-15 02:00:09 AM  

Serious Black: Mrtraveler01: The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014

Australia was definitely within range of where the plane disappeared. Only the western part mind you, but it counts all the same.


So what you're saying is that if the passengers survived a landing in Australia, they'd just end up getting poisoned and eaten anyway.  Poor bastards.
 
2014-03-15 02:01:00 AM  

digistil: FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png

You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp


jpgformatistoomainstreamforhipsters.cut
 
2014-03-15 02:01:56 AM  
I think its time for the Onion to chime in here.  They're the only one that would write a story that says "We know nothing, really"
 
2014-03-15 02:02:29 AM  
FFS. Get this news conference over and done with so we can go to sleep. There are those of us still in the land of the living you know..
 
2014-03-15 02:02:35 AM  

rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.


30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.
 
2014-03-15 02:03:21 AM  

FizixJunkee: digistil: FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png

You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp

jpgformatistoomainstreamforhipsters.cut


WaitTillAHipsterTellsYouThatAnimatedGifIsTehGreatest.buf
 
2014-03-15 02:04:01 AM  
James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.
 
2014-03-15 02:04:48 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 02:04:58 AM  

Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.


I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.
 
2014-03-15 02:05:08 AM  

me texan: I think its time for the Onion to chime in here.  They're the only one that would write a story that says "We know nothing, really"


http://www.theonion.com/articles/malaysian-airlines-expands-investig at ion-to-includ,35524/
 
2014-03-15 02:05:15 AM  

Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.

30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.


an hour actually
 
2014-03-15 02:06:12 AM  

Whatthefark: The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.


I prefer my scenarios a little retro: the second coming of D.B. Cooper is at hand!
 
2014-03-15 02:07:44 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.

I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.


Or an overpower condition, resulting in fire and blown circuit breakers one after another, and the smoke rendering everyone unconscious, and screaming, and plummeting into the sea helplessly, and praying OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIE!

It's gonna make a great sequel to all those 70s Airport movies. I love screaming in impotent frustration as a plot device.
 
2014-03-15 02:09:27 AM  
 
2014-03-15 02:09:37 AM  

ontariolightning: Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.

30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.

an hour actually


So much for my initial plan to go to bed at a decent hour tonight.
 
2014-03-15 02:11:36 AM  
Hijacking theory is bullshiat
 
2014-03-15 02:12:30 AM  
They ID'd the two passengers with fake IDs as two Iranian men from Qatar. http://www.kfiam640.com/articles/national-news-104668/mystery-malaysi a -passengers-ided-12143585?cmp=obinsite But I'm sure they weren't up to anything nefarious, right? That would be profiling, right?

/right?
//right??
 
2014-03-15 02:13:12 AM  

Confabulat: What's left? Magic? Time rifts?


A plane that had an accident that damaged its wing had that repair fail and the wing fell off, pluging it into the ocean.

But you know, that has too many facts going for it to be true.
 
2014-03-15 02:14:18 AM  
So, have they questioned this guy yet?

www.gonemovies.com
 
2014-03-15 02:16:02 AM  

JonnyBGoode: They ID'd the two passengers with fake IDs as two Iranian men from Qatar. http://www.kfiam640.com/articles/national-news-104668/mystery-malaysi a -passengers-ided-12143585?cmp=obinsite But I'm sure they weren't up to anything nefarious, right? That would be profiling, right?

/right?
//right??


Congratulations on finding news the rest of us knew on Tuesday.

And why hijack a plane if you're already planning on going to Europe?
 
2014-03-15 02:16:05 AM  
So one theory on these threads are that the North Koreans hijacked the 777 for nefarious purposes.  An airplane produced since 1993 and has 1,178 units produced so far according to Wiki.  An airplane that is Boeing's best seller and is probably operated by every other airline on the planet.

A plane so rare they couldn't possibly get it second hand through black market sources in Africa, Russia, India or some other place.  Or FFS buy it from through their Chinese friends.

What's the next stupid theory, folks?
 
2014-03-15 02:18:06 AM  

SirEattonHogg: So one theory on these threads are that the North Koreans hijacked the 777 for nefarious purposes.  An airplane produced since 1993 and has 1,178 units produced so far according to Wiki.  An airplane that is Boeing's best seller and is probably operated by every other airline on the planet.

A plane so rare they couldn't possibly get it second hand through black market sources in Africa, Russia, India or some other place.  Or FFS buy it from through their Chinese friends.

What's the next stupid theory, folks?


Fox News is already assuming it's terrorism and are currently theorizing who is responsible.
 
2014-03-15 02:18:25 AM  

Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.


From what I've read on pprune, well beyond extremely unlikely.
 
2014-03-15 02:19:47 AM  

cretinbob: Hijacking theory is bullshiat


Why? Did your momma already get her Ho-Hos?
 
2014-03-15 02:21:07 AM  

JonnyBGoode: They ID'd the two passengers with fake IDs as two Iranian men from Qatar. http://www.kfiam640.com/articles/national-news-104668/mystery-malaysi a -passengers-ided-12143585?cmp=obinsite But I'm sure they weren't up to anything nefarious, right? That would be profiling, right?



This was settled earlier in the week. They were booked all the way through to Europe, they had paid something like $10,000 for the fake IDs, their friends said they were going to seek asylum.
 
2014-03-15 02:22:03 AM  

JonnyBGoode: They ID'd the two passengers with fake IDs as two Iranian men from Qatar. http://www.kfiam640.com/articles/national-news-104668/mystery-malaysi a -passengers-ided-12143585?cmp=obinsite But I'm sure they weren't up to anything nefarious, right? That would be profiling, right?


I really don't see why two Iranians would take down some random Chinese flight from Malaysia. It's much more likely they were just the typical users of forged passports: illegal immigrants.
 
2014-03-15 02:22:15 AM  

SirEattonHogg: So one theory on these threads are that the North Koreans hijacked the 777 for nefarious purposes.  An airplane produced since 1993 and has 1,178 units produced so far according to Wiki.  An airplane that is Boeing's best seller and is probably operated by every other airline on the planet.

A plane so rare they couldn't possibly get it second hand through black market sources in Africa, Russia, India or some other place.  Or FFS buy it from through their Chinese friends.

What's the next stupid theory, folks?


rynthetyn: ontariolightning: Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.

30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.

an hour actually

So much for my initial plan to go to bed at a decent hour tonight.


Here's some reading for you: link
 
2014-03-15 02:22:32 AM  

digistil: From what I've read on pprune, well beyond extremely unlikely.


It might be, but it would explain a few things.
 
2014-03-15 02:23:11 AM  
Press conference from Malaysia going on right now. Claymation dude is taking his time though...
 
2014-03-15 02:23:34 AM  

cretinbob: A plane that had an accident that damaged its wing had that repair fail and the wing fell off, pluging it into the ocean.

But you know, that has too many facts going for it to be true.


www.defordmusic.com
 
2014-03-15 02:24:03 AM  
Well Fox News had their terror expert on who asked that "Is the distance between where the plane was and East Africa or Arabia possible?" and then just a few seconds later showed a map that indicated that it wasn't possible.

Bang up job you're doing there Fox News.
 
2014-03-15 02:24:47 AM  

rkiller1: Perhaps it hasn't yet pushed back from the gate?  Did anyone think to look there?


How come, in every thread about this, everyone acts they're the first one to come up with this joke? It was stupid the first time someone posted it, and it hasn't gotten any less stupid the next 50 times people posted it.
 
2014-03-15 02:24:55 AM  

Mrtraveler01:

Fox News is already assuming it's terrorism and are currently theorizing who is responsible trying to figure out how to pin it on Obama.

 
2014-03-15 02:26:39 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: I really don't see why two Iranians would take down some random Chinese flight from Malaysia


If it is a hijacking, I'd hardly call it "random." These people knew exactly where to steal a 777 at a place it wouldn't be noticed missing for awhile.
 
2014-03-15 02:27:22 AM  
Malaysian press conference just said they believe with a high degree of certainty that the communication systems were turned off intentionally. Also stating that satellite data indicates deliberate movements after it changed course.
 
2014-03-15 02:27:36 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.

I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.


yeah, that theory has already been covered

but it just doesn't have enough fantasy elements to it.
 
2014-03-15 02:30:36 AM  
MrTraveler01Fox News is already assuming it's terrorism and are currently theorizing who is responsible.


My theory is 14K Triad gang members hijacked the plane for parts and "white slavery".  Crash landing it in isolated North Sentinel Island by cutting a deal with the local natives to hand over the fattest passengers for a feast and some various colorful beads. With the rest of the passengers being sold off as slaves to FoxConn for assembling Apple Ipads or to the ship breaking yards in Chittagong, Bangladesh.   A few of the good looking female passengers are now sex slaves in various Dongguan karaoke lounges.

About as plausible as anything else.
 
2014-03-15 02:31:28 AM  
Yeah, the Iranians with stolen passports did it. The flight crew and passengers fought back. Case closed. The Indian Ocean has them now.
 
2014-03-15 02:32:49 AM  
They are just saying hijacking because they don't want the world to think they're loons. What they REALLY believe is that the plane was taken over by spirits and dragged to a phantom dimension, where the passengers now have to find a way home while surviving the challenges coming from hungry ghosts, strange new animals, and lusty fellow survivors.
 
2014-03-15 02:33:18 AM  

zerkalo: Yeah, the Iranians with stolen passports did it. The flight crew and passengers fought back. Case closed. The Indian Ocean has them now.


Yes, I'm sure a 19 yr old kid would know how to fly a 777.
 
2014-03-15 02:33:52 AM  

GreenSun: They are just saying hijacking because they don't want the world to think they're loons. What they REALLY believe is that the plane was taken over by spirits and dragged to a phantom dimension, where the passengers now have to find a way home while surviving the challenges coming from hungry ghosts, strange new animals, and lusty fellow survivors.


Should've used 3 coconuts.

d.ibtimes.co.uk
 
2014-03-15 02:34:25 AM  
calbert: Mrtraveler01:
Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.

I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.

yeah, that theory has
but it just doesn't have enough fantasy elements to it.



I keep hearing that depressurization theory, but after the Helios Airline accident, didn't the plane makers put in some kind of warning system if that happened?
 
2014-03-15 02:34:27 AM  

CraicBaby: zerkalo: Yeah, the Iranians with stolen passports did it. The flight crew and passengers fought back. Case closed. The Indian Ocean has them now.

Yes, I'm sure a 19 yr old kid would know how to fly a 777.



And I'm sure two skinny dudes could hijack an entire plane full over 200+ people and get through the security door into the cockpit.
 
2014-03-15 02:34:33 AM  

propasaurus: Fox News is already assuming it's terrorism and are currently theorizing who is responsible trying to figure out how to pin it on Obama.


Why are you even joking about this?  Did you hear the flight recording?  Dude got on the intercom and told everyone that "Change has come...to your flight path."  Then it probably crashed into the ocean because he wasted all the fuel, because that's what liberals do.  They waste resources.

You just have to wonder how many times Taxbongo is going to get impeached for this.
 
2014-03-15 02:35:16 AM  

CraicBaby: zerkalo: Yeah, the Iranians with stolen passports did it. The flight crew and passengers fought back. Case closed. The Indian Ocean has them now.

Yes, I'm sure a 19 yr old kid would know how to fly a 777.


Call the Airforce, no need to recruit 18-year-olds to go into flight school
 
2014-03-15 02:36:16 AM  

CraicBaby: Yes, I'm sure a 19 yr old kid would know how to fly a 777.


Fly, yes. Land... no.
 
2014-03-15 02:36:20 AM  
Is there a good reason a commercial aircraft should be able to turn off its transponder while in flight? It seems to me that an aircraft should be broadcasting its position as long as its engines are running.

The Malaysian government and/or military knows way more than they're saying.
 
2014-03-15 02:36:32 AM  

zerkalo: Call the Airforce, no need to recruit 18-year-olds to go into flight school


Do you know how many years of flight school you have to complete to get skilled enough to fly a 777?
 
2014-03-15 02:37:07 AM  
So they're saying that the last satellite information was at 8:17am Malaysia time, it could have gone a long way with that. As in, they're looking over Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan according the the claymation dude.
 
2014-03-15 02:38:46 AM  

rynthetyn: So they're saying that the last satellite information was at 8:17am Malaysia time, it could have gone a long way with that. As in, they're looking over Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan according the the claymation dude.


It didn't have enough fuel. It was just heading in that direction. It's probably in the middle of the Indian Ocean somewhere.
 
2014-03-15 02:39:35 AM  

Confabulat: God-is-a-Taco: I really don't see why two Iranians would take down some random Chinese flight from Malaysia

If it is a hijacking, I'd hardly call it "random." These people knew exactly where to steal a 777 at a place it wouldn't be noticed missing for awhile.


What I mean is: why the Chinese? What's their motivation? I thought Syria was the place to seek entry to paradise from these days.
 
2014-03-15 02:41:10 AM  

shower_in_my_socks: zerkalo: Call the Airforce, no need to recruit 18-year-olds to go into flight school

Do you know how many years of flight school you have to complete to get skilled enough to fly a 777?


Also, flying a fighter jet isn't the same as flying a commercial jet. Not only that, the Air Force doesn't just let 18 yrs hop in the cockpit of a jet. They undergo lots and lots of training.
 
2014-03-15 02:41:44 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: What I mean is: why the Chinese? What's their motivation? I thought Syria was the place to seek entry to paradise from these days.


Well if I wanted to steal an airplane, I wouldn't worry about who it belonged do, I'd worry about how easy it would be to get. Stealing one over an ocean with no radar sounds lots easier than stealing one over Ohio.
 
2014-03-15 02:42:14 AM  

CraicBaby: shower_in_my_socks: zerkalo: Call the Airforce, no need to recruit 18-year-olds to go into flight school

Do you know how many years of flight school you have to complete to get skilled enough to fly a 777?

Also, flying a fighter jet isn't the same as flying a commercial jet. Not only that, the Air Force doesn't just let 18 yrs hop in the cockpit of a jet. They undergo lots and lots of training.


Odds that the pilot or co-pilot were going rogue?
 
2014-03-15 02:42:47 AM  

Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: So they're saying that the last satellite information was at 8:17am Malaysia time, it could have gone a long way with that. As in, they're looking over Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan according the the claymation dude.

It didn't have enough fuel. It was just heading in that direction. It's probably in the middle of the Indian Ocean somewhere.


Yeah, it only had about 8 hrs' worth of fuel because it was planning on refueling in China.
 
2014-03-15 02:43:59 AM  

Confabulat: God-is-a-Taco: What I mean is: why the Chinese? What's their motivation? I thought Syria was the place to seek entry to paradise from these days.

Well if I wanted to steal an airplane, I wouldn't worry about who it belonged do, I'd worry about how easy it would be to get. Stealing one over an ocean with no radar sounds lots easier than stealing one over Ohio.


Although it's been done.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-15 02:44:23 AM  

Confabulat: God-is-a-Taco: What I mean is: why the Chinese? What's their motivation? I thought Syria was the place to seek entry to paradise from these days.

Well if I wanted to steal an airplane, I wouldn't worry about who it belonged do, I'd worry about how easy it would be to get. Stealing one over an ocean with no radar sounds lots easier than stealing one over Ohio.


True enough.
I guess you'd have to figure out if his mom in Germany was legitimately expecting him to arrive or not.
 
2014-03-15 02:45:15 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Odds that the pilot or co-pilot were going rogue?


Yeah, the raid on the pilot's house yesterday coincided with the whole hijacking angle gaining steam. They claimed it was routine, but I don't buy that. If the unnamed official from a couple of hours ago is correct that the plane was clearly being flown by a skilled pilot after communcations were turned off, and that they knew where to fly to avoid radar detection, then it was being flown by someone who was skilled and knew the region well enough to know how to duck the radar. That puts the two guys already in the cockpit as the primary suspects.
 
2014-03-15 02:45:48 AM  

Mrtraveler01: CraicBaby: shower_in_my_socks: zerkalo: Call the Airforce, no need to recruit 18-year-olds to go into flight school

Do you know how many years of flight school you have to complete to get skilled enough to fly a 777?

Also, flying a fighter jet isn't the same as flying a commercial jet. Not only that, the Air Force doesn't just let 18 yrs hop in the cockpit of a jet. They undergo lots and lots of training.

Odds that the pilot or co-pilot were going rogue?


nicedoggie.net
 
2014-03-15 02:48:17 AM  
I for one enjoy a completely open-ended mystery.
 
2014-03-15 02:48:50 AM  
and how do we know that this isn't viral marketing for something?

Is Malaysia promoting an energy drink? maybe they're launching an app?

maybe they're trying to promote tourism by having the world's cameras come to them and film all the people, culture, and wonders of "Malaysia: Unity is Strength"?

free publicity is always good.
 
2014-03-15 02:49:57 AM  

shower_in_my_socks: Mrtraveler01: Odds that the pilot or co-pilot were going rogue?

Yeah, the raid on the pilot's house yesterday coincided with the whole hijacking angle gaining steam. They claimed it was routine, but I don't buy that. If the unnamed official from a couple of hours ago is correct that the plane was clearly being flown by a skilled pilot after communcations were turned off, and that they knew where to fly to avoid radar detection, then it was being flown by someone who was skilled and knew the region well enough to know how to duck the radar. That puts the two guys already in the cockpit as the primary suspects.


I agree.

I know people are going to look at the Iranians with the fake passports again but I doubt they were skilled enough to know how to shut the transponders off as well as which flight paths to take. Even the 9/11 attackers weren't that skilled which makes me doubt that those guys could be more skillful than that.
 
2014-03-15 02:50:35 AM  

Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: So they're saying that the last satellite information was at 8:17am Malaysia time, it could have gone a long way with that. As in, they're looking over Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan according the the claymation dude.

It didn't have enough fuel. It was just heading in that direction. It's probably in the middle of the Indian Ocean somewhere.


Just saying what they said at the press conference--that the last satellite contact was over 7 hours after they lost radar and that the northern corridor they think it could be in stretches as far as the border between Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan.
 
2014-03-15 02:52:35 AM  

calbert: and how do we know that this isn't viral marketing for something?



It was stolen by Madison Avenue strategists to drive clicks and 24-hour news channel viewership so they can sell *everything*. It sure beats paying actors, cameramen, gaffers, and union wages.
 
2014-03-15 02:53:59 AM  
Yeah, how many YEARS experience do you need to push the yoke over 90 degrees and pull the CVR circuits?
 
2014-03-15 02:54:45 AM  

Befuddled: Is there a good reason a commercial aircraft should be able to turn off its transponder while in flight? It seems to me that an aircraft should be broadcasting its position as long as its engines are running.

The Malaysian government and/or military knows way more than they're saying.


Yes, because like all electronic devices sometimes they f*up and need to be rebooted even in mid flight.
 
2014-03-15 02:58:58 AM  

zerkalo: Yeah, how many YEARS experience do you need to push the yoke over 90 degrees and pull the CVR circuits?


Nor do I claim there is a minimum qualification rating for interfering with a flight crew. Or did I say they took over the flight and flew this bird some place?
 
2014-03-15 03:02:18 AM  
Falun Gong

//that's my guess
 
2014-03-15 03:06:04 AM  

shower_in_my_socks: Do you know how many years of flight school you have to complete to get skilled enough to fly a 777?


A few weeks in mom's basement with a copy of X-plane would give you the basics, and the autopilot can do most of the work.
 
2014-03-15 03:06:12 AM  

Cuthbert Allgood: Falun Gong

//that's my guess


Falun Gong can fly on their own they don't need planes.
 
2014-03-15 03:09:43 AM  

Mike_LowELL: propasaurus: Fox News is already assuming it's terrorism and are currently theorizing who is responsible trying to figure out how to pin it on Obama.

Why are you even joking about this?  Did you hear the flight recording?  Dude got on the intercom and told everyone that "Change has come...to your flight path."  Then it probably crashed into the ocean because he wasted all the fuel, because that's what liberals do.  They waste resources.

You just have to wonder how many times Taxbongo is going to get impeached for this.


239 times.
 
2014-03-15 03:12:35 AM  

zerkalo: zerkalo: Yeah, how many YEARS experience do you need to push the yoke over 90 degrees and pull the CVR circuits?

Nor do I claim there is a minimum qualification rating for interfering with a flight crew. Or did I say they took over the flight and flew this bird some place?


Well since you're chasing a story about Iranians that was old news 5 days ago, I'll catch you up to speed: The same "unnamed official" who was just proven as reliable by the PM of Malaysia also said that whoever flew the plane was skilled and knew how to avoid radar detection. So it was more than just pulling the yoke 90 degrees and shutting down communication. The plane flew for at least 7 hours. How the fark do two guys overpower 200+ passengers, force their way into the cockpit, and control the plane for 7+ hours in a post-911 world? Flight 93 had four hijackers and they only held out against the passengers for 35 minutes.

Authorities dropped these guys as suspects days ago. They know their real names. If they were known terrorists, we would have heard about it by now. If they weren't known terrorists, then why bother to get fake IDs?
 
2014-03-15 03:16:02 AM  

shower_in_my_socks: Authorities dropped these guys as suspects days ago. They know their real names. If they were known terrorists, we would have heard about it by now. If they weren't known terrorists, then why bother to get fake IDs?


In addition, why buy additional plane tickets from Beijing to Amsterdam as well as Amsterdam to Frankfurt/Copenhagen if you're planning on hijacking a plane?
 
2014-03-15 03:20:14 AM  

Mrtraveler01: shower_in_my_socks: Authorities dropped these guys as suspects days ago. They know their real names. If they were known terrorists, we would have heard about it by now. If they weren't known terrorists, then why bother to get fake IDs?

In addition, why buy additional plane tickets from Beijing to Amsterdam as well as Amsterdam to Frankfurt/Copenhagen if you're planning on hijacking a plane?



And in addition to that, the whole reason people are getting their panties in a bunch over these two guys is because they're Iranian. So what's the angle - Iran sent just two guys to hijack a plane in the most stunning terrorism/hijacking operation since 9/11, and on top of that made sure they picked guys who could easily be traced as being Iranian citizens? F*ck, everybody knows you use Saudis to do this shiat.
 
2014-03-15 03:21:05 AM  
cuthbert allgood:
Falun Gong

//that's my guess



An organization that has had zero history of terrorism and whose most violent activity has been demonstrations against the Chinese govt is going to piss all Western good will and lose its collective shiat by hijacking a non-Chinese airline with a large portion of passengers being Malaysian.

Well hell, why stop there - not guess the Rotarians? Or the Moonies?
 
2014-03-15 03:22:13 AM  
 
2014-03-15 03:26:59 AM  
shower_in_my_socks:  The plane flew for at least 7 hours. How the fark do two guys overpower 200+ passengers, force their way into the cockpit, and control the plane for 7+ hours in a post-911 world? Flight 93 had four hijackers and they only held out against the passengers for 35 minutes.

Normally I'd say Asian culture is quite different from Western and that they might not necessarily rebel against an authority figure (if it was a pilot), but they're probably on edge from the knifing thing so that probably wouldn't fly.
It's best not to speculate ala reddit boston bombing
 
2014-03-15 03:28:57 AM  
Two groups use stolen passports these days, Iranians and the Mossad. Israel is better at covering their tracks.
 
2014-03-15 03:30:33 AM  
Focusing on the Iranian's is a red hearing. Iran is not going to risk alienating practically their only friend left in the world in China.   Who else is left to buy their oil, defend them on the UN Security Council, or provide them the illicit goods the regime can't get from corrupt western companies?  What is the motive in pissing off China by anyone from a Iranian background?  They have no stake in the unrest in the in the northwest of China as (and this is what I could find) the Uyghur minority is primarily Sunni who don't get along well with the primarily shiate Iranians.

If this was a hijacking I would look to someone else on the plane.  The fact that it hasn't turned up points to a suicide by one of the pilots or a passenger.  If you wanted to park a debris field where it would be hard to find, head west and then south south west in the Indian ocean toward Antartica.  Put it south in the roaring 40s and the debris may get quickly disbursed and may not be found for months.
 
2014-03-15 03:31:34 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.


It didn't. The plane was out of range.


Oh, and an interesting tidbit....this 777 was the 404th built........

You can't explain that
 
2014-03-15 03:32:30 AM  

Daedalus27: Focusing on the Iranian's is a red hearing. Iran is not going to risk alienating practically their only friend left in the world in China.   Who else is left to buy their oil, defend them on the UN Security Council, or provide them the illicit goods the regime can't get from corrupt western companies?  What is the motive in pissing off China by anyone from a Iranian background?  They have no stake in the unrest in the in the northwest of China as (and this is what I could find) the Uyghur minority is primarily Sunni who don't get along well with the primarily shiate Iranians.

If this was a hijacking I would look to someone else on the plane.  The fact that it hasn't turned up points to a suicide by one of the pilots or a passenger.  If you wanted to park a debris field where it would be hard to find, head west and then south south west in the Indian ocean toward Antartica.  Put it south in the roaring 40s and the debris may get quickly disbursed and may not be found for months.


Not to mention the whole  Iranian thing was debunked last week.
 
2014-03-15 03:32:56 AM  

zerkalo: Two groups use stolen passports these days, Iranians and the Mossad. Israel is better at covering their tracks.


That and people coming from countries with tons of strife and want to go to someplace more stable like Europe. Looks like KL was a big hub for this kind of thing.

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2014/03/13/Criminals-abusing-M al aysia-Iranians-on-MH370-likely-to-have-gotten-fake-passports-at-KLIA/
 
2014-03-15 03:55:11 AM  

cretinbob: Daedalus27: Focusing on the Iranian's is a red hearing. Iran is not going to risk alienating practically their only friend left in the world in China.   Who else is left to buy their oil, defend them on the UN Security Council, or provide them the illicit goods the regime can't get from corrupt western companies?  What is the motive in pissing off China by anyone from a Iranian background?  They have no stake in the unrest in the in the northwest of China as (and this is what I could find) the Uyghur minority is primarily Sunni who don't get along well with the primarily shiate Iranians.

If this was a hijacking I would look to someone else on the plane.  The fact that it hasn't turned up points to a suicide by one of the pilots or a passenger.  If you wanted to park a debris field where it would be hard to find, head west and then south south west in the Indian ocean toward Antartica.  Put it south in the roaring 40s and the debris may get quickly disbursed and may not be found for months.

Not to mention the whole  Iranian thing was debunked last week.


It wasn't debunked, it just was strongly suggested that the stolen passports were a commonly used item for individuals to get to Europe to then attempt to claim asylum and that these Iranian passengers were utilizing the method.  I haven't seen anyone dig up any further info on the Iranian passengers suggesting any link to intelligence services, the revolutionary guard, hezbollah or any other group that would be inclined to engage in a hijacking.  Even if there was some tenuous link, again my point is, what is the objective or goal of targeting this flight?
 
2014-03-15 03:59:31 AM  

zerkalo: Two groups use stolen passports these days, Iranians and the Mossad. Israel is better at covering their tracks.


Err, no. It's one of the most popular methods in chasing that Western gravy train.
The Chinese do it for the US and Canada as well.
 
2014-03-15 04:16:03 AM  

SirEattonHogg: cuthbert allgood:
Falun Gong

//that's my guess


An organization that has had zero history of terrorism and whose most violent activity has been demonstrations against the Chinese govt is going to piss all Western good will and lose its collective shiat by hijacking a non-Chinese airline with a large portion of passengers being Malaysian.

Well hell, why stop there - not guess the Rotarians? Or the Moonies?


The Rosicrucians.
 
2014-03-15 04:21:03 AM  
Someone brought a durian fruit on board in their carryon luggage, and then when they cut into the fruit during the flight, the horrible odor knocked everyone unconscious.
 
2014-03-15 04:43:08 AM  

Daedalus27: It wasn't debunked,


It was debunked. It;s not "suggested" it happens all the time.
 
2014-03-15 04:55:37 AM  
Lenny_da_hog:  they found it.


Okay.  That was funny.


Propasaurus:  The Rosicrucians.

I always wondered about those guys.  Them and the Gideons.
 
2014-03-15 06:06:38 AM  
Has any group come forward to claim responsibility?
 
2014-03-15 08:14:48 AM  

Whatthefark: The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.


Has anyone considered the reverse vampires yet?
 
2014-03-15 10:43:59 AM  

CraicBaby: rkiller1: Perhaps it hasn't yet pushed back from the gate?  Did anyone think to look there?

How come, in every thread about this, everyone acts they're the first one to come up with this joke? It was stupid the first time someone posted it, and it hasn't gotten any less stupid the next 50 times people posted it.


Have patience, there has been no Langolier, MIllenium or Twilight Zone reference so far.  So maybe the next thread won't have this joke either.
 
2014-03-15 10:53:54 AM  

CraicBaby: rkiller1: Perhaps it hasn't yet pushed back from the gate?  Did anyone think to look there?

How come, in every thread about this, everyone acts they're the first one to come up with this joke? It was stupid the first time someone posted it, and it hasn't gotten any less stupid the next 50 times people posted it.


memedepot.com
 
2014-03-15 11:16:32 AM  

AngryDragon: Whatthefark: The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.

Has anyone considered the reverse vampires yet?


That's a perfectly cromulent theory.
 
2014-03-15 02:18:10 PM  
I thought the Iranians were being smuggled (for labor).
 
2014-03-15 03:45:40 PM  
I think we'll end up learning this was a Flight 93 type situation. A failed attempt at hijacking could explain why no one is credibly taking credit for this.
 
Displayed 130 of 130 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report