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(Telegraph)   Malaysian head investigator denies any conclusive evidence of hijacking   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 130
    More: Followup, Malaysia Airlines, flight MH370, Malaysia, historical capitals of China, Bay of Bengal, Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, air defence, Andaman Sea  
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1707 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2014 at 1:21 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



130 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-15 01:14:33 AM
Damn it, the Internet! Make up your mind!
 
2014-03-15 01:15:29 AM

Sid_6.7: Damn it, the Internet! Make up your mind!


I know, right?
 
2014-03-15 01:17:24 AM
George Zimmerman
 
2014-03-15 01:17:33 AM
What's left? Magic? Time rifts?
 
2014-03-15 01:17:50 AM

God-is-a-Taco: George Zimmerman


Drink!
 
2014-03-15 01:19:32 AM
"There is absolutely no truth to this rumor..."
www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com
 
2014-03-15 01:20:02 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-15 01:24:46 AM
Let's us not forget this article we all read many times over
http://www.vocativ.com/world/china/china-al-qaedas-cross-hairs/
 
2014-03-15 01:24:46 AM
so what can you make out of this?
 
2014-03-15 01:26:50 AM
I picked a hell of a day to stop sniffing glue.
 
2014-03-15 01:27:21 AM

2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]


North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.
 
2014-03-15 01:28:56 AM
I was wondering why the other one disappeared. Was going to try and bum some totalfark
 
2014-03-15 01:29:06 AM
For God's sake! This is beyond beyond nuts!
 
2014-03-15 01:30:07 AM

Confabulat: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]

North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.


I dunno.. they outsmarted Libya this week
 
2014-03-15 01:30:25 AM

ShankatsuForte: I was wondering why the other one disappeared. Was going to try and bum some totalfark


Yeah, but the fact that story got replaced with this one was unintentionally hilarious.

But quite expected given the incredible ineptitude that are the people in charge of this operation in Malaysia.
 
2014-03-15 01:32:02 AM
This is just like the gypsy woman said!
 
2014-03-15 01:32:45 AM
Perhaps it hasn't yet pushed back from the gate?  Did anyone think to look there?
 
2014-03-15 01:35:52 AM
The true truth will come Link
 
2014-03-15 01:35:53 AM
I still think alien abduction is more likely.

/not really
 
2014-03-15 01:36:49 AM
In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.
 
2014-03-15 01:36:50 AM
The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014
 
2014-03-15 01:36:54 AM

The Bestest: Confabulat: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 676x422]

North Korea wishes they were capable of stealing a jet. They'd just make one out of mud and paper mache and pretend it could fly.

I dunno.. they outsmarted Libya this week


So did Doc Brown
 
2014-03-15 01:39:06 AM
The cool thing is, no matter what any of these news story say, we can all sit around imagining ourselves in a tube 30,000 feet in the air, when alarms go off, masks drop from the ceiling, and the captain tells us everything is alright as we look out of the window and see the the horizon hitting the ocean, growing closer, closer, closer; then we scream at our seatmate, "OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIE!", and some shiathead starts telling us we all need Jesus, and someone punches that guy and tells him to shut the fark up, and then we hear the engines whining as if ready to explode, and then the captain says, "I lied! We're not fine! We're all gonna DIIIIIIIE!"

That's the fun part.
 
2014-03-15 01:39:19 AM
Well this is wrong bc foxnews said it was probably hijacking.
 
2014-03-15 01:40:03 AM

Mrtraveler01: The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014


Australia was definitely within range of where the plane disappeared. Only the western part mind you, but it counts all the same.
 
2014-03-15 01:40:31 AM

Cerebral Infarktion: so what can you make out of this?


Out of this? I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl. . .
 
2014-03-15 01:46:35 AM

gunther_bumpass: Cerebral Infarktion: so what can you make out of this?

Out of this? I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl. . .


surely you are not serious...
 
2014-03-15 01:46:44 AM
whothehellcares.jpg
 
2014-03-15 01:50:10 AM

cardex: whothehellcares.jpg


whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png
 
2014-03-15 01:50:12 AM
wow. i am shocked. no one would have predicted this after so much transparency already.
 
2014-03-15 01:52:21 AM
I thought subby said "head detective " and was totally stoked for In Living Color references...
 
2014-03-15 01:55:34 AM
I had a media center shredder once, thing worked great.
 
2014-03-15 01:55:39 AM

FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png


You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp
 
2014-03-15 01:56:49 AM
I hope it ends up that the jet was hacked by a drone that was controlled by a gay jewish communist mercenary behind seven proxies who got paid in bitcoins that the NSA acquired by selling medical pot, all as part of a convoluted scheme to promote Obamacare.
 
2014-03-15 01:58:47 AM
The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.
 
2014-03-15 02:00:09 AM

Serious Black: Mrtraveler01: The Singapore newspaper has this article. I think they're just farking with everyone now.

http://www.straitstimes.com/the-big-story/missing-mas-plane/story/mi ss ing-malaysia-plane-mh370-said-be-traced-sea-australia-2014

Australia was definitely within range of where the plane disappeared. Only the western part mind you, but it counts all the same.


So what you're saying is that if the passengers survived a landing in Australia, they'd just end up getting poisoned and eaten anyway.  Poor bastards.
 
2014-03-15 02:01:00 AM

digistil: FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png

You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp


jpgformatistoomainstreamforhipsters.cut
 
2014-03-15 02:01:56 AM
I think its time for the Onion to chime in here.  They're the only one that would write a story that says "We know nothing, really"
 
2014-03-15 02:02:29 AM
FFS. Get this news conference over and done with so we can go to sleep. There are those of us still in the land of the living you know..
 
2014-03-15 02:02:35 AM

rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.


30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.
 
2014-03-15 02:03:21 AM

FizixJunkee: digistil: FizixJunkee: cardex: whothehellcares.jpg

whythefarkdidyoubothertocomeintothisthread.png

You'veClearlyNeverComeAcrossAHipsterBefore.bmp

jpgformatistoomainstreamforhipsters.cut


WaitTillAHipsterTellsYouThatAnimatedGifIsTehGreatest.buf
 
2014-03-15 02:04:01 AM
James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.
 
2014-03-15 02:04:48 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 02:04:58 AM

Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.


I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.
 
2014-03-15 02:05:08 AM

me texan: I think its time for the Onion to chime in here.  They're the only one that would write a story that says "We know nothing, really"


http://www.theonion.com/articles/malaysian-airlines-expands-investig at ion-to-includ,35524/
 
2014-03-15 02:05:15 AM

Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.

30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.


an hour actually
 
2014-03-15 02:06:12 AM

Whatthefark: The LocNar wedged itself into the belly of the plane. The stewardesses were turned into flesh eating zombies and proceeded to eat the passengers. The cockpit crew flew away from populated areas before putting on parachutes and jumping into the Indian Ocean. Unfortunately, they ended up on North Sentinel Island. That's not a place outsiders want to be.


/what? It's as believable as any other scenario.


I prefer my scenarios a little retro: the second coming of D.B. Cooper is at hand!
 
2014-03-15 02:07:44 AM

Mrtraveler01: Egalitarian: James Bond theories aside, I wonder if there was a sudden loss of pressure in the cockpit, the pilots passed out and died, and the plane kept on going over ocean water until it ran out of fuel.

I'm starting to think that's a possibility. Although it doesn't explain why the transponder quit working.


Or an overpower condition, resulting in fire and blown circuit breakers one after another, and the smoke rendering everyone unconscious, and screaming, and plummeting into the sea helplessly, and praying OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIE!

It's gonna make a great sequel to all those 70s Airport movies. I love screaming in impotent frustration as a plot device.
 
2014-03-15 02:09:27 AM
 
2014-03-15 02:09:37 AM

ontariolightning: Mrtraveler01: rynthetyn: In any case, the news conference with the Malaysian PM is imminent.

30 minutes behind schedule. They're even inept at holding news conferences.

an hour actually


So much for my initial plan to go to bed at a decent hour tonight.
 
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