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(New Delhi TV)   NASA is now looking for the missing Malaysia Airlines jet, which should help if any of the kooky theories about aliens beaming it up to their mothership are true   (ndtv.com) divider line 53
    More: Spiffy, Malaysia Airlines, NASA, Malaysia, flight MH370, mothership, International Space Station, Allard Beutel, joint  
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2554 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2014 at 2:45 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-15 02:29:53 AM  
They found it!! It's on the farking runway!
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 02:51:35 AM  
Mark Ratner: They found it!! It's on the farking runway!


"Ahem...uh, this is your captain speaking, ummm... Malaysian Airlines would like to apologize to passengers for the continuing delay to this flight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits again.''
 
2014-03-15 02:58:10 AM  
Hmm, I never even considered aliens.

/I feel a little more sure of my sanity
//or a little more doubtful of other peoples.
 
2014-03-15 03:17:08 AM  

SirEattonHogg: Mark Ratner: They found it!! It's on the farking runway!


"Ahem...uh, this is your captain speaking, ummm... Malaysian Airlines would like to apologize to passengers for the continuing delay to this flight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits again.''


i44.tinypic.com
"Well, I'll give them another twenty minutes, but that's it!"
 
2014-03-15 03:21:19 AM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net

HELLO. COMMANDER.
 
2014-03-15 03:31:48 AM  
Comment DERP alert:

"I would just like to ask NASA what the heck took you so long in helping out? How on EARTH can you NOT assist in the FIRST DAY? Really? Six days later! And this is what I spend my tax dollars for! Disgusting and shameful to say the least...  "

/DERP
 
2014-03-15 03:34:09 AM  

AltheaToldMe: Comment DERP alert:

"I would just like to ask NASA what the heck took you so long in helping out? How on EARTH can you NOT assist in the FIRST DAY? Really? Six days later! And this is what I spend my tax dollars for! Disgusting and shameful to say the least...  "

/DERP


Followed by a "remote viewer"
 
2014-03-15 03:38:08 AM  
How hard is it to find a giant metal tube?
 
2014-03-15 03:46:23 AM  

netgamer7k: How hard is it to find a giant metal tube?


...said the giant metal snatch
 
2014-03-15 03:55:27 AM  

Cuthbert Allgood: AltheaToldMe: Comment DERP alert:

"I would just like to ask NASA what the heck took you so long in helping out? How on EARTH can you NOT assist in the FIRST DAY? Really? Six days later! And this is what I spend my tax dollars for! Disgusting and shameful to say the least...  "

/DERP

Followed by a "remote viewer"


What'd ya expect? They don't even have a base on the moon yet. China's there finding all kinds of things that NASA has overloooked.
 
2014-03-15 04:00:17 AM  
hardinparamedic:HELLO. COMMANDER.

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS PLANE WAS FLANKING THE SECTOPOD AND THE DAMN THING HAD HEAT AMMO AND THE SECTOPOD HAD JUST BEEN HIT WITH A SHREDDER ROCKET HOW CAN YOU FARKING MISS WITH A 94% CHANCE TO HIT GOD DAMN IT WHY WAS IT JUST ONE-SHOT

/Ironman
 
2014-03-15 04:08:52 AM  
Not wanted for questioning:
th09.deviantart.net
 
2014-03-15 04:15:10 AM  
It's looking as if Xenu is back on Teegeeack, taking planes with people, stacking them around volcanoes. I'd look for the 777 around volcanoes in the South China Sea or Bay of Bengal, but be careful -- hydrogen bombs.
 
2014-03-15 04:15:47 AM  

SirEattonHogg: Mark Ratner: They found it!! It's on the farking runway!


"Ahem...uh, this is your captain speaking, ummm... Malaysian Airlines would like to apologize to passengers for the continuing delay to this flight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits again.''


^^ Good work, sir
 
2014-03-15 04:44:30 AM  

netgamer7k: How hard is it to find a giant metal tube?


Because they haven't looked inside your mother yet.
 
2014-03-15 06:02:26 AM  
Wow. 5 Indians.
 
2014-03-15 06:14:20 AM  
It might not be aliens, but just a typical wormhole opened up and they are now in a different time.
 
2014-03-15 06:20:28 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-15 06:39:16 AM  
I happened to catch a little of George Noory show on the way home this evening. The first woman who called in was sure the North Koreans had stolen it. The second caller was certain that...I apologize. It was so farking stupid I already forgot his theory. The kooks are having a field day with this. Damn it. Just remembered. His theory was a government is behind it because one of the passengers was infected with a virus.
 
2014-03-15 07:12:02 AM  

relaxitsjustme: I happened to catch a little of George Noory show on the way home this evening. The first woman who called in was sure the North Koreans had stolen it. The second caller was certain that...I apologize. It was so farking stupid I already forgot his theory. The kooks are having a field day with this. Damn it. Just remembered. His theory was a government is behind it because one of the passengers was infected with a virus.


Somebody knows where that plane is.
 
2014-03-15 07:23:10 AM  
Clearly it's HAARP.  They're trying to cover it up.
 
2014-03-15 07:24:55 AM  
Yay, 1960's technology to the rescue.
 
2014-03-15 07:32:08 AM  
You'd think the military would have found it already, since they specialize in such things.
....Altho its hard to tell if we're even fully involved in the search.

/In the old days they'd put someone from the pentagon on TV.
/Now they put Jay Carney, and I doubt he knows anything more than the reporters already do.
 
2014-03-15 07:33:35 AM  

AltheaToldMe: Comment DERP alert:

"I would just like to ask NASA what the heck took you so long in helping out? How on EARTH can you NOT assist in the FIRST DAY? Really? Six days later! And this is what I spend my tax dollars for! Disgusting and shameful to say the least...  "

/DERP


They probably had to wait until they were invited in and had to get approval to divert resources for the search. It isn't a movie, government agency just can't decide on a whim to stick their noses into the middle of another governments investigation.
 
2014-03-15 08:05:48 AM  
This morning, some show I was watching (shut up, it's early.... I'm lucky I can identify a TV at that hour), said that the plane could be as far as Kazakhstan. So.....

www.tqsmagazine.co.uk
Has he been questioned?
 
2014-03-15 08:10:36 AM  

way south: You'd think the military would have found it already, since they specialize in such things.
....Altho its hard to tell if we're even fully involved in the search.

/In the old days they'd put someone from the pentagon on TV.
/Now they put Jay Carney, and I doubt he knows anything more than the reporters already dowhat he's told to act like he knows.

 
2014-03-15 08:19:23 AM  

ktybear: [24.media.tumblr.com image 250x350]


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 08:41:51 AM  
The plane is still in the hanger. It never took off.

/that's my theory
 
2014-03-15 08:52:15 AM  
img.fark.netimg.fark.netimg.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 09:00:57 AM  

ArtosRC: hardinparamedic:HELLO. COMMANDER.

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS PLANE WAS FLANKING THE SECTOPOD AND THE DAMN THING HAD HEAT AMMO AND THE SECTOPOD HAD JUST BEEN HIT WITH A SHREDDER ROCKET HOW CAN YOU FARKING MISS WITH A 94% CHANCE TO HIT GOD DAMN IT WHY WAS IT JUST ONE-SHOT

/Ironman


Man, I used to be great at the old XCom games. But damned if I can't play this game beyond the default difficulty. Just kicks my ass.

/"What do you mean China is leaving?! I just stopped two invasion attempts in Japan, and China didn't even have a attack! Goddammitsomuchihatethisgametimetoreloadagain...
 
2014-03-15 09:07:36 AM  
How many places in that part of the world could you hide a plane?

Where are the people? At least one of them must have left a cell phone on in carryon bag...
 
2014-03-15 09:30:05 AM  
While there is a lot of uninhabited water out there, it is really weird for a plane to just up and vanish like this in the age of satellite images, gps, multiple transponders...

I know the answer is gong to be something as mundane as it is tragic, but it does have that tantalizing level of mystery that led people to believe in the Bermuda Triangle and stuff in the first place. Difference is, there were so many levels of redundancy that had to fall and means of detection that aren't working, that it does make for quite the conspiracy fodder.
 
2014-03-15 09:43:54 AM  

SirEattonHogg: Mark Ratner: They found it!! It's on the farking runway!


"Ahem...uh, this is your captain speaking, ummm... Malaysian Airlines would like to apologize to passengers for the continuing delay to this flight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits again.''


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-15 09:55:36 AM  

Deep Contact: It might not be aliens, but just a typical wormhole opened up and they are now in a different time.


CERN finally created a black hole?
 
2014-03-15 11:05:09 AM  
i280.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-15 11:17:43 AM  

comslave: netgamer7k: How hard is it to find a giant metal tube?

Because they haven't looked inside your mother yet.


Has anyone checked goatse?
 
2014-03-15 11:29:25 AM  
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
 
2014-03-15 11:35:57 AM  

JoieD'Zen: relaxitsjustme: I happened to catch a little of George Noory show on the way home this evening. The first woman who called in was sure the North Koreans had stolen it. The second caller was certain that...I apologize. It was so farking stupid I already forgot his theory. The kooks are having a field day with this. Damn it. Just remembered. His theory was a government is behind it because one of the passengers was infected with a virus.

Somebody knows where that plane is.


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 11:49:41 AM  
I told you so.
 
2014-03-15 12:01:20 PM  
How would they get a plane that size all the way to Burbank with no one noticing?  But to be fair, I bet the photos of the plane parked next to the lunar lander will look pretty cool...
 
2014-03-15 12:04:23 PM  
It flew west from Malaysia.  What is west?  Madagascar.

SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING!
 
2014-03-15 12:09:09 PM  
I hate to come in to an article late and be the only one that seems to have read it and picked out the important bits....
So I have one question to ask you all,. and mainly ask NASA, why task a satellite that has an such a shiatty resolution? 98 feet? really? its like google earth from well... never, the free stuff seems to have always been better. anything that large would have sunk, any clusters of the floaty bits at this point are no longer clusters,. so lets look at some ocean water for a bit. maybe do a bit of climate modeling and write it all off as a PR stunt.


...
/have a sudden urge reread some douglas adams...
//wonders if the only person on board who read the crash procedures survived and can make me a sandwich.
 
2014-03-15 12:41:18 PM  
QUESTION:  How long will it be before the Luddites blame it on global warming?

Seriously, seven days and counting, and not one of you has come up with that?  You guys are slipping, I figured 48 hours, tops.
 
2014-03-15 01:05:54 PM  

Shadowknight: ArtosRC: hardinparamedic:HELLO. COMMANDER.

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS PLANE WAS FLANKING THE SECTOPOD AND THE DAMN THING HAD HEAT AMMO AND THE SECTOPOD HAD JUST BEEN HIT WITH A SHREDDER ROCKET HOW CAN YOU FARKING MISS WITH A 94% CHANCE TO HIT GOD DAMN IT WHY WAS IT JUST ONE-SHOT

/Ironman

Man, I used to be great at the old XCom games. But damned if I can't play this game beyond the default difficulty. Just kicks my ass.

/"What do you mean China is leaving?! I just stopped two invasion attempts in Japan, and China didn't even have a attack! Goddammitsomuchihatethisgametimetoreloadagain...


Placeebo effect. There is only one difficulty level. Game always defaults to easy due to a bug unless you get one of the patches from the mod community.

/lot of other fixed bugs too
 
2014-03-15 01:29:02 PM  

BafflerMeal: Placeebo effect. There is only one difficulty level. Game always defaults to easy due to a bug unless you get one of the patches from the mod community.

/lot of other fixed bugs too


I admit, I played it on the PS3.  I'm actually pretty impressed on how they mapped the control scheme to make it work so well.  See also: Diablo 3.
 
2014-03-15 02:37:18 PM  

olddinosaur: QUESTION:  How long will it be before the Luddites blame it on global warming?

Seriously, seven days and counting, and not one of you has come up with that?  You guys are slipping, I figured 48 hours, tops.


i18.photobucket.com
(Click to enlarge)
 
2014-03-15 02:58:40 PM  

SnowPeas: I hate to come in to an article late and be the only one that seems to have read it and picked out the important bits....
So I have one question to ask you all,. and mainly ask NASA, why task a satellite that has an such a shiatty resolution? 98 feet? really? its like google earth from well... never, the free stuff seems to have always been better. anything that large would have sunk, any clusters of the floaty bits at this point are no longer clusters,. so lets look at some ocean water for a bit. maybe do a bit of climate modeling and write it all off as a PR stunt.


...
/have a sudden urge reread some douglas adams...
//wonders if the only person on board who read the crash procedures survived and can make me a sandwich.


98 feet should be small enough for something the size of a jet. The larger the spatial resolution, the smaller the temporal resolution - both of which are determined by the speed of the satellite. Unlike what they do on TV, NASA can't turn and focus in on things. If you think Google maps, or some other free service, can do it better, please feel free to find the jet using them. (Hint: The whole world is not under constant surveillance by anyone. Google maps has good resolution because they physically drove a car around, and they didn't cover oceans or a good portion of several other countries. Those maps are a single snapshot in time, and only useful when roads don't change much. There are several spots in my area where google maps is outright wrong.)
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-03-15 03:39:07 PM  
From CNN:
Pilot's home searched
"After Najib spoke with reporters, a source close to the investigation told CNN that Malaysian police had searched the home of pilot. Shah lives in a gated community in Shah Alam, outside Kuala Lumpur."

Hilarious. What did they think took place? The dude flew it back to his place and hid it in a garage?

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-15 04:25:23 PM  

NotARocketScientist: SnowPeas: I hate to come in to an article late and be the only one that seems to have read it and picked out the important bits....
So I have one question to ask you all,. and mainly ask NASA, why task a satellite that has an such a shiatty resolution? 98 feet? really? its like google earth from well... never, the free stuff seems to have always been better. anything that large would have sunk, any clusters of the floaty bits at this point are no longer clusters,. so lets look at some ocean water for a bit. maybe do a bit of climate modeling and write it all off as a PR stunt.


...
/have a sudden urge reread some douglas adams...
//wonders if the only person on board who read the crash procedures survived and can make me a sandwich.

98 feet should be small enough for something the size of a jet. The larger the spatial resolution, the smaller the temporal resolution - both of which are determined by the speed of the satellite. Unlike what they do on TV, NASA can't turn and focus in on things. If you think Google maps, or some other free service, can do it better, please feel free to find the jet using them. (Hint: The whole world is not under constant surveillance by anyone. Google maps has good resolution because they physically drove a car around, and they didn't cover oceans or a good portion of several other countries. Those maps are a single snapshot in time, and only useful when roads don't change much. There are several spots in my area where google maps is outright wrong.)


I am well away of both the fact that google maps is several years old in most cases and comically inaccurate,  as for your first point I would totally agree with you, six days ago. there should be a ever expanding debris field at this point of some fairly small pieces. (sub 20 foot).  Pulling more Douglass Adams references,.. at this point they may be better taking a more holistic approach and looking at the fundamental interconnectedness of things, maybe from a beach in the Bahamas.
 
2014-03-15 04:52:17 PM  

SnowPeas: NotARocketScientist: SnowPeas: I hate to come in to an article late and be the only one that seems to have read it and picked out the important bits....
So I have one question to ask you all,. and mainly ask NASA, why task a satellite that has an such a shiatty resolution? 98 feet? really? its like google earth from well... never, the free stuff seems to have always been better. anything that large would have sunk, any clusters of the floaty bits at this point are no longer clusters,. so lets look at some ocean water for a bit. maybe do a bit of climate modeling and write it all off as a PR stunt.


...
/have a sudden urge reread some douglas adams...
//wonders if the only person on board who read the crash procedures survived and can make me a sandwich.

98 feet should be small enough for something the size of a jet. The larger the spatial resolution, the smaller the temporal resolution - both of which are determined by the speed of the satellite. Unlike what they do on TV, NASA can't turn and focus in on things. If you think Google maps, or some other free service, can do it better, please feel free to find the jet using them. (Hint: The whole world is not under constant surveillance by anyone. Google maps has good resolution because they physically drove a car around, and they didn't cover oceans or a good portion of several other countries. Those maps are a single snapshot in time, and only useful when roads don't change much. There are several spots in my area where google maps is outright wrong.)

I am well away of both the fact that google maps is several years old in most cases and comically inaccurate,  as for your first point I would totally agree with you, six days ago. there should be a ever expanding debris field at this point of some fairly small pieces. (sub 20 foot).  Pulling more Douglass Adams references,.. at this point they may be better taking a more holistic approach and looking at the fundamental interconnectedness of things, maybe from a beac ...


They're combing through archived imagery of the study area though. Given that the imagery can be sharpened from 30 meters to 10 meters using the B&W panchromatic band, I think NASA intends to use the reflectance of the electromagnetic spectrum by a jet and look for pixels with a similar signature. It's a fairly common workflow for landform classification.
 
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