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(Page Six)   Michael Jackson's song "Beat It" turns out to have been about his chimpanzee Bubbles   (pagesix.com) divider line 33
    More: Weird, Michael Jackson, Jane Goodall  
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3829 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Mar 2014 at 10:06 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-14 09:03:28 PM
Who amongst us hasn't spanked their monkey a little too aggressively, from time to time?
 
2014-03-14 09:38:12 PM

bearded clamorer: Who amongst us hasn't spanked their monkey a little too aggressively, from time to time?


Mine keeps spitting at me.
 
2014-03-14 09:56:49 PM
In the bizarre and rushed interview, Goodall also proclaimed that chimps "belong in the forest" when asked whether an ape should serve as a White House pet.

media.giphy.com
 
2014-03-14 10:05:19 PM
Quincy jones should get more credit for that record
 
2014-03-14 10:17:15 PM
To click the link, or not click the link
That is the question
Whether 'tis nobler to suffer Rule 34 and Poe's Law
Or, by ignoring, end them

To bie, perchance to meme...
 
2014-03-14 10:21:45 PM
I guess it's better than feeling like a kid and blowing bubbles.
 
2014-03-14 10:44:02 PM
Well makes sense with lyrics like:

"Have a banana, have a whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you had for lunch"
 
2014-03-14 11:11:43 PM
Beating off chimpanzees is wrong.
 
2014-03-14 11:20:16 PM

vernonFL: Quincy jones should get more credit for that record


I'm pretty sure that Quincy Jones is perfectly happy with the credit he got from that record, happy all the way to the bank.
 
2014-03-14 11:34:49 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-14 11:43:49 PM
By the time they get to 7 or 8 years old, they're stronger than you would think."

That was my first thought. Granted, I would not abuse an animal, but if I was to, I certainly would not abuse an animal that lived in my house and was going to grow up to be a fanged psychopath capable of ripping my head from my shoulders.
 
2014-03-14 11:56:30 PM
No that's ignorant.

But seriously, a chimp as a pet at the White House is an enormously dumb idea. Those things will eat your face.
 
2014-03-15 01:01:26 AM

dennysgod: Well makes sense with lyrics like:

"Have a banana, have a whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you had for lunch"


Yeah. I was trying to remember the lyrics to Beat It, but all I could come up with was lyrics from Eat It.

/ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat!
 
2014-03-15 01:06:05 AM

Son of Thunder: By the time they get to 7 or 8 years old, they're stronger than you would think."

That was my first thought. Granted, I would not abuse an animal, but if I was to, I certainly would not abuse an animal that lived in my house and was going to grow up to be a fanged psychopath capable of ripping my head from my shoulders.


This.

But also, why would you ever want a pet with thumbs?  There's tons of stuff I keep from my cats by putting whatever it is in a sealed container, or behind a closed door, or even in a cabinet--it's very convenient.
 
2014-03-15 01:21:15 AM
You gonna get spanked.
thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-15 01:53:47 AM

bingethinker: dennysgod: Well makes sense with lyrics like:

"Have a banana, have a whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you had for lunch"

Yeah. I was trying to remember the lyrics to Beat It, but all I could come up with was lyrics from Eat It.

/ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat!


The king of cellulite.
 
2014-03-15 02:10:07 AM

Shadowtag: No that's ignorant.

But seriously, a chimp as a pet at the White House is an enormously dumb idea. Those things will eat your face.


The woman who had her face and hands ripped off by a chimp got a face transplant and she's actually lookin' pretty good, considering she's wearing a dead person's face, so there's that.
 
2014-03-15 02:24:38 AM

Egalitarian: Shadowtag: No that's ignorant.

But seriously, a chimp as a pet at the White House is an enormously dumb idea. Those things will eat your face.

The woman who had her face and hands ripped off by a chimp got a face transplant and she's actually lookin' pretty good, considering she's wearing a dead person's face, so there's that.


Really? Not sure why I didn't hear about that, but it makes me feel relieved. I've spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about what happened to that woman.

/Used to want to be a primatologist
 
2014-03-15 02:26:58 AM
unicornfree.com
 
2014-03-15 02:40:45 AM
And a chimpanzee named Bubbles
 
2014-03-15 02:55:05 AM

Son of Thunder: By the time they get to 7 or 8 years old, they're stronger than you would think."

That was my first thought. Granted, I would not abuse an animal, but if I was to, I certainly would not abuse an animal that lived in my house and was going to grow up to be a fanged psychopath capable of ripping my head from my shoulders.


People don't realize chimpanzees, like all apes, are stronger then people. We're too use to seeing all the baby ones they use for TV and movies.  Adult apes are scary, I would rather wrestle a crocodile then fight an ape, at least with the croc if you get on it's back you might have a chance, an ape will just rip you to parts; they fight like Mike Tyson, heavy hit and not afraid to bite off anything that come close to their mouths.

www.ippl.org
 
2014-03-15 03:19:41 AM
The guy was a child-molesting creep, it doesn't surprise me he'd beat a baby chimpanzee.
 
2014-03-15 03:24:16 AM
"Goodall didn't return requests for comment Friday. A Jackson rep denied that Jacko had abused the animal."
Much more inclined to believe a woman who's  lived with chimps for what? 50 years? than a halfwit pop-star's family who's son had, on a whim, a pet chimp and whose family's word is sketchy at best.
 
2014-03-15 03:26:50 AM
Is there any Michael Jackson story that turned out to be nicer than we initially thought?
 
2014-03-15 04:16:16 AM
You people are ignorant and you have doo-doo in your souls.
 
2014-03-15 04:55:34 AM

Corn_Fed: Is there any Michael Jackson story that turned out to be nicer than we initially thought?


Zombie Jackson sitting up in ambulance?
 
2014-03-15 05:26:16 AM

Corn_Fed: Is there any Michael Jackson story that turned out to be nicer than we initially thought?


Let me guess. You probably also think Michael bleached his skin and slept in an oxygen chamber.

If you read the story, the chimp lady never said Michael beat Bubbles. The only source that claims Jackson did so is the ex-husband of La Toya who have no evidence but have lots of books to sell.
 
2014-03-15 08:38:30 AM

bingethinker: dennysgod: Well makes sense with lyrics like:

"Have a banana, have a whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you had for lunch"

Yeah. I was trying to remember the lyrics to Beat It, but all I could come up with was lyrics from Eat It.

/ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat!


Better song anyway
 
2014-03-15 08:55:31 AM
I can't believe I'm the first neckbeard to point this out but the "ham on..." and "king of cellulite" lines are from Fat, Weird Al's parody of Bad, not Eat It.
 
2014-03-15 10:07:31 AM

Corn_Fed: Is there any Michael Jackson story that turned out to be nicer than we initially thought?


According to whichever of the two Coreys is still alive (Feldman?), Jackson is one of the few men in entertainment who didn't molest him.
 
2014-03-15 11:08:44 AM

fusillade762: In the bizarre and rushed interview, Goodall also proclaimed that chimps "belong in the forest" when asked whether an ape should serve as a White House pet.

[media.giphy.com image 265x236]


No, she was asked that bizarre question by the TMZ "reporter". I think TMZ hires by leaves cameras, with a list of celebrities and the amount they'll pay for footage, under bridges for people to find.
 
2014-03-15 12:13:32 PM

tarnok: I can't believe I'm the first neckbeard to point this out but the "ham on..." and "king of cellulite" lines are from Fat, Weird Al's parody of Bad, not Eat It.


I sit corrected. Too fat to stand.

/when I sit around the house, I really sit around the house.
 
2014-03-15 09:40:12 PM

bingethinker: tarnok: I can't believe I'm the first neckbeard to point this out but the "ham on..." and "king of cellulite" lines are from Fat, Weird Al's parody of Bad, not Eat It.

I sit corrected. Too fat to stand.

/when I sit around the house, I really sit around the house.


The couple of others who pointed it out before you probably don't have neckbeards. So you still might be the first neckbeard to point it out.
 
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