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(ABC News)   US sending 25,000 MREs to Ukraine. Haven't these people suffered enough?   (abcnews.go.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, MREs, Ukraine, USS George H.W. Bush, Sending  
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2117 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2014 at 4:27 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-14 04:29:34 PM  
Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "
 
2014-03-14 04:30:07 PM  
Subby's obviously never been hungry.
 
2014-03-14 04:31:08 PM  
We should send them some MRAPs and HMMWVs. I hear we have some spares we're trying to get rid of.
 
2014-03-14 04:32:32 PM  
Maybe they can trick the Russians into eating them
 
2014-03-14 04:33:03 PM  
Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)
 
2014-03-14 04:33:06 PM  

stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "


Bandages, bullets, and beans.

/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.
 
2014-03-14 04:33:23 PM  
I'm sure the Russian troops would appreciate the food.
 
2014-03-14 04:34:44 PM  

Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)


The mac 'n beef ones are the bomb if you use the whole tabasco bottle on it.

Other than that they suck.
 
2014-03-14 04:34:44 PM  
In WW2 we sent them SPAM and I have heard some of them still have a taste for it.
 
2014-03-14 04:35:05 PM  

Resident Muslim: I'm sure the Russian troops would appreciate the food.


What he said.
 
2014-03-14 04:35:20 PM  

Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)


Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.
 
2014-03-14 04:35:41 PM  

Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)


Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.
 
2014-03-14 04:37:41 PM  

pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.


Bad is inadequate. On a scale from warm spring day to Fukushima'd, bad is mist. Original MREs are Fukushima cubed.
 
2014-03-14 04:38:54 PM  
the internet is sending 25,000 Memes Ready to Eat
 
2014-03-14 04:39:53 PM  

bark_atda_moon: In WW2 we sent them SPAM and I have heard some of them still have a taste for it.


Tушёнка. Yup.
 
2014-03-14 04:40:42 PM  

stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "


MREs are weapons on my colon.
 
2014-03-14 04:41:23 PM  

pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.


MRE is gourmet compared to C ration.
 
2014-03-14 04:41:42 PM  
I liked the Beef Stew... do they still make that one?
 
2014-03-14 04:42:00 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

Bad is inadequate. On a scale from warm spring day to Fukushima'd, bad is mist. Original MREs are Fukushima cubed.


Pftftftftftf!  This is THE original Army MRE:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-14 04:45:13 PM  
My uncles like army rations for fishing trips. Apparently some people even like the taste.

But where do they plug the microwave ovens in?

What use is a ready-to-eat meal if you can't cook it?

Just kidding. I know, I know. You can eat some of them without cooking or cook them over a fire if smoke isn't a problem. Don't forget your dehydrated water!
 
2014-03-14 04:45:29 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.

/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.


Drink water....lots of it...till you think you can't drink anymore...then drink some more water.
 
2014-03-14 04:45:36 PM  

69gnarkill69: demaL-demaL-yeH: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

Bad is inadequate. On a scale from warm spring day to Fukushima'd, bad is mist. Original MREs are Fukushima cubed.

Pftftftftftf!  This is THE original Army MRE:


Hard tack is a little too old school
 
2014-03-14 04:45:46 PM  
When the U.S first invaded Afghanistan, we air-dropped a whole bunch of MREs. The idea was to help develop good will among the Afghan people. Problem was the MREs were the same color and looked very similar to un-detonated cluster munitions. Good will was not achieved.
 
2014-03-14 04:46:05 PM  

bark_atda_moon: In WW2 we sent them SPAM and I have heard some of them still have a taste for it.


My freinds father went from the backwoods of Kentucky to WWII soldier in who saw action Europe.

Spam was such a fancy food, he ate it a couple of times a week till he died in his mid 80s
 
2014-03-14 04:49:35 PM  

macross87: Did they contain any consonants?


Did you mean vowels? I believe the consonant mines of Dnepropetrovsk are still active.
 
2014-03-14 04:50:09 PM  
UN Peacekeepers along the Ukr Russ border and step up the mining so they can buy up all equipment they need.
 
2014-03-14 04:50:30 PM  

brantgoose: My uncles like army rations for fishing trips. Apparently some people even like the taste.
But where do they plug the microwave ovens in?
What use is a ready-to-eat meal if you can't cook it?
Just kidding. I know, I know. You can eat some of them without cooking or cook them over a fire if smoke isn't a problem. Don't forget your dehydrated water!


Um, dude, that's not how they're heated, eh.
 
2014-03-14 04:51:33 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

Bad is inadequate. On a scale from warm spring day to Fukushima'd, bad is mist. Original MREs are Fukushima cubed.


I was told there would be no math.
 
2014-03-14 04:52:27 PM  
I bet there's three possible scenarios here.

1. We sent Ukraine standard issue MREs.

2. We sent Ukraine some special-issue 9mm, 50 cal, and other caliber MREs.

3.  We sent Ukraine standard issue MREs and the Russians will claim we sent Ukraines some special-issue 9mm, 50 cal, and other caliber MREs
 
2014-03-14 04:52:36 PM  
I keep a couple in my 'camp pack'. Some of them are pretty good.

BTW: world market and amazon has those miniature bottles of Tabasco sauce in 6 packs. A must have for my travel bag for breakfast bloody marys
 
2014-03-14 04:53:12 PM  
"The U.S. also is keeping the naval aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush in the Mediterranean Sea for several more days, as part of the U.S. effort to reassure allies in the region in the wake of Russia's military intervention into Ukraine's Crimea region."

To repeat from another thread, why bother? We all know that the US isn't going to do anything to stop Russia. Crimea is going to vote for independence, Russia will send troops in to "ensure peace", and the West will threaten weak sanctions and sternly worded letters. Putin will move onto the next Russian speaking area and the Western politicians will go on wondering why he refuses to conform to the nice post-WWII world that they imagined existed.

I don't have an answer to the situation but can we stop acting like the UN on a particularly incompetent day?
 
2014-03-14 04:53:49 PM  
As long as we don't send them Cheese and Vegetable Omelets, they will be ok.
 
2014-03-14 04:53:55 PM  

Oldiron_79: 69gnarkill69: demaL-demaL-yeH: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

Bad is inadequate. On a scale from warm spring day to Fukushima'd, bad is mist. Original MREs are Fukushima cubed.

Pftftftftftf!  This is THE original Army MRE:

Hard tack is a little too old school


I thought it was a lumpy poptart
 
2014-03-14 04:54:24 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.
/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.

Drink water....lots of it...till you think you can't drink anymore...then drink some more water.


Um, no. The extremely high fat content is designed to plug you up. We used to joke that the MRE "cheese" was a plastic, self-forming buttplug.
/You know the phrase, "Shiatting bricks."? Literal.
That pack of toilet tissue? It was to wipe away the tears and blow your nose after passing desiccated MRE. Your butt sure didn't need wiping.
 
2014-03-14 04:55:39 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: TheShavingofOccam123: demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.
/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.

Drink water....lots of it...till you think you can't drink anymore...then drink some more water.

Um, no. The extremely high fat content is designed to plug you up. We used to joke that the MRE "cheese" was a plastic, self-forming buttplug.
/You know the phrase, "Shiatting bricks."? Literal.
That pack of toilet tissue? It was to wipe away the tears and blow your nose after passing desiccated MRE. Your butt sure didn't need wiping.


You're shiatting me.
 
2014-03-14 04:57:04 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: TheShavingofOccam123: demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.
/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.

Drink water....lots of it...till you think you can't drink anymore...then drink some more water.

Um, no. The extremely high fat content is designed to plug you up. We used to joke that the MRE "cheese" was a plastic, self-forming buttplug.
/You know the phrase, "Shiatting bricks."? Literal.
That pack of toilet tissue? It was to wipe away the tears and blow your nose after passing desiccated MRE. Your butt sure didn't need wiping.


I have had the best shiats of my life after a weekend of rations. Especially if the last meal is from hay boxes (as a treat, obviously)
 
2014-03-14 04:58:48 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: demaL-demaL-yeH: TheShavingofOccam123: demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.
/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.

Drink water....lots of it...till you think you can't drink anymore...then drink some more water.

Um, no. The extremely high fat content is designed to plug you up. We used to joke that the MRE "cheese" was a plastic, self-forming buttplug.
/You know the phrase, "Shiatting bricks."? Literal.
That pack of toilet tissue? It was to wipe away the tears and blow your nose after passing desiccated MRE. Your butt sure didn't need wiping.

You're shiatting me.


Oh, veterans.(NSFW)
 
2014-03-14 04:59:04 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I bet there's three possible scenarios here.

1. We sent Ukraine standard issue MREs.

2. We sent Ukraine some special-issue 9mm, 50 cal, and other caliber MREs.

3.  We sent Ukraine standard issue MREs and the Russians will claim we sent Ukraines some special-issue 9mm, 50 cal, and other caliber MREs


Door number two please, Gene.

/was that show Gene Rayburn?
 
2014-03-14 04:59:57 PM  
Mine, Ready to Emplace.
Men, Ready to Engage.
Missile, Ready to Explode.
 
2014-03-14 05:01:48 PM  
I liked the ones with the Skittles in them
 
2014-03-14 05:04:27 PM  

studebaker hoch: Mine, Ready to Emplace.
Men, Ready to Engage.
Missile, Ready to Explode.


Militants, Ready to Escalate.
Munitions, Ready to Erupt.
Massive War Boners, Ready to Emerge.
 
2014-03-14 05:06:18 PM  

cman: I liked the ones with the Skittles in them


You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.
 
2014-03-14 05:07:46 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

MREs are weapons on my colon.


Weapons of ass destruction?
 
2014-03-14 05:07:58 PM  
MRE's have been great for the last ten years. In the 80's the Army spent millions of dollars hiring top chiefs and new techniques to shed the MRE (Meals Rejected by Ethiopians) image.
 
2014-03-14 05:08:06 PM  
What caliber ammo are they looking for? I can probably part with some of my stash.
 
2014-03-14 05:09:10 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.


Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?
 
2014-03-14 05:09:12 PM  
The newer ones in the last couple of years are actually pretty damn tasty.  I eat them when I go camping and such.  Sometimes when the wife is away for the weekend.
 
2014-03-14 05:10:47 PM  

Mr_Fabulous: Tr0mBoNe: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

MREs are weapons on my colon.

Weapons of ass destruction?


Ass and toilet. Mutually assured destruction.
 
2014-03-14 05:12:27 PM  

Molavian: The newer ones in the last couple of years are actually pretty damn tasty.  I eat them when I go camping and such.  Sometimes when the wife is away for the weekend.


I bought some cases of civilian version MREs. Apparently not as good as military by a mile. But what shocked me is how heavy the case boxes were. You'd burn more calories lugging the things around. And I never learned the fine nuances of field-stripping. What to get rid of...
 
2014-03-14 05:12:29 PM  

Target Builder: Subby's obviously never been hungry.


Done in two. MREs aren't *that* bad. I've had military MREs and civilian MREs. Both are world's better than starving to death. A few dishes I found are actually preferable to their non-MRE counterparts.
 
Al!
2014-03-14 05:13:34 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "The U.S. also is keeping the naval aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush in the Mediterranean Sea for several more days, as part of the U.S. effort to reassure allies in the region in the wake of Russia's military intervention into Ukraine's Crimea region."

To repeat from another thread, why bother? We all know that the US isn't going to do anything to stop Russia. Crimea is going to vote for independence, Russia will send troops in to "ensure peace", and the West will threaten weak sanctions and sternly worded letters. Putin will move onto the next Russian speaking area and the Western politicians will go on wondering why he refuses to conform to the nice post-WWII world that they imagined existed.

I don't have an answer to the situation but can we stop acting like the UN on a particularly incompetent day?


Crimea can only vote for independence.  The options are 1) Join the Russian Federation, or 2) restore the 1992 Crimean Constitution and remain a part of Ukraine.  It sounds like #2 is keeping Crimea a part of Ukraine, but the 1992 Constitution had a severe seperatist lean to it, which was why it was abolished in the first place.  The current Crimean Constitution has stipulations that keep central power in Kiev, like veto power over any legislation the Crimean Parliament enacts, which would include this referendum.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crimean_referendum,_2014
 
2014-03-14 05:15:09 PM  

TerminalEchoes: Target Builder: Subby's obviously never been hungry.

Done in two. MREs aren't *that* bad. I've had military MREs and civilian MREs. Both are world's better than starving to death. A few dishes I found are actually preferable to their non-MRE counterparts.


Case in point: Beans and Franks from the Canadian IMPs.
 
2014-03-14 05:17:51 PM  

EatenTheSun: What caliber ammo are they looking for? I can probably part with some of my stash.


So YOU are the dickwad who's causing this damn ammo shortage?
 
2014-03-14 05:18:16 PM  
No.
 
2014-03-14 05:19:34 PM  

Pick13: MRE's have been great for the last ten years. In the 80's the Army spent millions of dollars hiring top chiefs and new techniques to shed the MRE (Meals Rejected by Ethiopians) image.


There was a great pictorial story in the Daily Mail evaluating field rations from different countries.

/on phone, can't link.
 
2014-03-14 05:20:07 PM  

Oldiron_79: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

MRE is gourmet compared to C ration.


I used to like C rations.
 
2014-03-14 05:28:45 PM  

The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?


Maybe he doesnt like being shot at
 
2014-03-14 05:36:39 PM  
Kabul
Afghanistan
Take Shahrara Rd and Kolula Pushta Rd to Salang Wat/A76
5.6 km / 8 min
Continue on A76. Take M-39 and A-380 to R-173
1,464 km / 18 h 40 min
Drive
391 km / 6 h 7 min
Take E-40/Р-1, E40, R-110, A-27 and Е40 to А154 in Астраханская область, Россия. Exit from Е119
894 km / 13 h 34 min
Continue on А154. Take ш. Ростов - Элиста and ш. Ростов - Элиста to Шахты - Новошахтинск/М19 in Ростовская область
702 km / 8 h 19 min
Follow M03 and E40 to вул. Шовковична/ул. Шелковичная in Київ, Україна
884 km / 10 h 58 min
Continue on вул. Шовковична. Drive to вул. Архітектора Городецького/ул. Архитектора Городецкого
2.1 km / 4 min
Turn right onto вул. Шовковична/ул. Шелковичная
1.0 km
Turn left onto Instytutska St
450 m
Turn left onto вул. Ольгинська/ул. Ольгинская
200 m
Take the 1st right onto вул. Архітектора Городецького/ул. Архитектора Городецкого
450 m
Kiev
Kyiv city, Ukraine

 58 hours easey peesey
 
2014-03-14 05:37:12 PM  

The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?


Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?

Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.
 
2014-03-14 05:40:03 PM  

theotherles: Oldiron_79: pyrotek85: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Yeah the recent ones I've tried were pretty good, all things considered. Now the original ones I heard were pretty bad.

MRE is gourmet compared to C ration.

I used to like C rations.


I am up to 4,000 rounds.
Which is a lot, but not as much as one might think.
 
2014-03-14 05:40:12 PM  
Vlad_the_Inaner:
Kabul
Afghanistan
Take Shahrara Rd and Kolula Pushta Rd to Salang Wat/A76


Oops, that was how the get the surplus military vehicles from Afghanistan to Ukraine.

Easy drive.   Right through Russia.
 
2014-03-14 05:41:14 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?

Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.


You are weird.

/braces for lamda Lamda to relate his oddness to judaism.
 
2014-03-14 05:41:34 PM  

Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)


This.  I'm going to guess subby hasn't eaten many of the modern MREs.
 
2014-03-14 05:42:00 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Maybe he doesnt like being shot at


Nobody likes being on the receiving end of launched ordnance.
 
2014-03-14 05:43:30 PM  
sadsack.org
 
2014-03-14 05:44:57 PM  

Smackledorfer: demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?

Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.

You are weird.

/braces for lamda Lamda to relate his oddness to judaism.


No. Skittles are vile. Tthey taste like sugared and artificially flavored aluminum foil.
(It was a dare. I was eight. I made a quarter. Totally not worth it.)
 
2014-03-14 05:49:35 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: Vlad_the_Inaner:
Kabul
Afghanistan
Take Shahrara Rd and Kolula Pushta Rd to Salang Wat/A76

Oops, that was how the get the surplus military vehicles from Afghanistan to Ukraine.

Easy drive.   Right through Russia.


I see a problem with your cunning plan.
 
2014-03-14 05:51:02 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Smackledorfer: demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?

Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.

You are weird.

/braces for lamda Lamda to relate his oddness to judaism.

No. Skittles are vile. Tthey taste like sugared and artificially flavored aluminum foil.
(It was a dare. I was eight. I made a quarter. Totally not worth it.)


You are retarded. Sugar tastes great.

It may be stupid to indulge, but sugar is delicious.
 
2014-03-14 05:55:18 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "The U.S. also is keeping the naval aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush in the Mediterranean Sea for several more days, as part of the U.S. effort to reassure allies in the region in the wake of Russia's military intervention into Ukraine's Crimea region."

To repeat from another thread, why bother? We all know that the US isn't going to do anything to stop Russia. Crimea is going to vote for independence, Russia will send troops in to "ensure peace", and the West will threaten weak sanctions and sternly worded letters. Putin will move onto the next Russian speaking area and the Western politicians will go on wondering why he refuses to conform to the nice post-WWII world that they imagined existed.

I don't have an answer to the situation but can we stop acting like the UN on a particularly incompetent day?


The EU has drawn a list up of all Putins oligarch friends.

Come monday all their assets in the EU will be frozen. And they will find that they can't gain entry visas either, which kinda sucks since they have property in the EU.

Sure, that won't destroy the Russian economy. But this is more satisfying.
 
2014-03-14 05:55:26 PM  

TinyFist: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

The mac 'n beef ones are the bomb if you use the whole tabasco bottle on it.

Other than that they suck.


Yeah, I tried not to use all my Tobasco...for some reason I loved saving the bottles.

And everything tasted better when you could wash it down with M&M's and a couple of Chicklits.

The self-heating ones were way better than the older ones. Eff the crackers, tho...Bleh!
 
2014-03-14 05:57:00 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.


I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.
 
2014-03-14 05:59:16 PM  
I liked MREs. Enjoyed them much more as a soldier than the C-Rations they fed us when I first joined. Now get off my lawn before I smack you with this ham patty.
 
2014-03-14 05:59:57 PM  
 
2014-03-14 06:00:39 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Um, dude, that's not how they're heated, eh.


Yeah, but where are they going to find a rock or something?
 
2014-03-14 06:03:44 PM  
All you have to do to heat them is break this little silver circle that is inside of the large clear plastic bag, after you have added water from your canteen and then plop your bag o' food into the water...which suddenly starts boiling. It goes from cold to nuke-your-titties hot in a flash.
 
2014-03-14 06:05:41 PM  
...which reminds me it's very similar to those hand warmers that you can take with you on hunting trips...pop the circle that's inside of it and shake it up and then put it in your gloves or seat or whatever. Except not as strong as the MRE broil-the-tatas ones.
 
2014-03-14 06:07:53 PM  

Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)


This.
 
2014-03-14 06:08:40 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: stevarooni: Okay, that's...better, 25,000 cases of MREs.  Not much of a response "to a wide-ranging request from that country for some rifles, ammunition, medicine and other supplies for its troops. "

Bandages, bullets, and beans.

/Those poor, soon-to-be constipated bastards.


it took me three days to pass chicken ala king...3 DAYS!

/damn you pre mobilization training!
 
2014-03-14 06:10:54 PM  
The chicken and rice was ok.  Worst comes to worse just eat the m&m's.
 
2014-03-14 06:13:42 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?

Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.


Or take a bowl and mix it half M&Ms and half skittles and watch people have a mind=blown reaction to having a bowl of mixed itty bittycandies.

Then when you are ready for Maximum awesomeness add some reeses pieces to the mix.
 
2014-03-14 06:17:57 PM  
I pick up one or two every time we shop at Beale AFB (retired Marine).  They are great when my wife travels.  And if you don't use the heaters you can make a small explosive out of one.
 
2014-03-14 06:27:04 PM  
This calls for lots of:

smilesandwich.com

And..........

media.giphy.com

Gourmet Meal Ready To Eat!
 
2014-03-14 06:27:53 PM  
The old C-Rat pound cake was awesome.
Shaped like the can in which it came.
 
2014-03-14 06:30:15 PM  

Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.


O.o
1. I don't boot anybody, female or no.

2.  skreened.com

(You do not wish to make a close acquaintance with a grenade that is ert.)
 
2014-03-14 06:35:34 PM  

Cowboy Bebop at His Computer: demaL-demaL-yeH: Um, dude, that's not how they're heated, eh.

Yeah, but where are they going to find a rock or something?


Something.   Something else.
 
2014-03-14 06:35:50 PM  

Whistling Kitty Chaser: We should send them some MRAPs and HMMWVs. I hear we have some spares we're trying to get rid of.


for real... this would be a good use of them...
 
2014-03-14 06:39:16 PM  

Oldiron_79: demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?
Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.

Or take a bowl and mix it half M&Ms and half skittles and watch people have a mind=blown reaction to having a bowl of mixed itty bittycandies.
Then when you are ready for Maximum awesomeness add some reeses pieces to the mix.


I prefer that my guests not spit sticky crap or throw up on my floors.
I was a guest at a party where somebody did that. That look of ultimate betrayal on 8-year-old's faces must have been worth the new carpets for the sadistic bastards.
 
2014-03-14 06:40:09 PM  

Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.


How you doin?
 
2014-03-14 06:42:33 PM  

Smackledorfer: Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.

How you doin?


Careful, Tazandra: He's one of those ammo-hoarders.
And he has no taste.
 
2014-03-14 06:46:07 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Oldiron_79: demaL-demaL-yeH: The Bestest: demaL-demaL-yeH: You would. Skittles taste like aluminum foil.

Skittles are awesome. What's wrong with you?

Skittles are awful. What's wrong with you?
Want proof? Set a bowl of skittles and a bowl of M&Ms (which are fairly vile themselves) next to each other on a table at a party and observe.

Or take a bowl and mix it half M&Ms and half skittles and watch people have a mind=blown reaction to having a bowl of mixed itty bittycandies.
Then when you are ready for Maximum awesomeness add some reeses pieces to the mix.

I prefer that my guests not spit sticky crap or throw up on my floors.
I was a guest at a party where somebody did that. That look of ultimate betrayal on 8-year-old's faces must have been worth the new carpets for the sadistic bastards.


Well all 3 is a little wierd tasting but Skittles+M&Ms taste like tootsie pop, Skittles+reese's peices taste like PB&J sammich, and m&ms +reese's pieces taste like reese's cups, the best candy of all time EVAR.
 
2014-03-14 06:48:04 PM  

JelloBAfro: I liked MREs. Enjoyed them much more as a soldier than the C-Rations they fed us when I first joined. Now get off my lawn before I smack you with this ham patty.


HotIgneous Intruder: The old C-Rat pound cake was awesome.
Shaped like the can in which it came.


The ham patty? Yeah, I decided I'd rather starve.
After you softened them, most of the cakes weren't horrific.

/Old enough that mine had cigarettes in 'em.
//You can join me out on my lawn and drink beer.
 
2014-03-14 06:56:40 PM  
If it has not been mentioned, and I have nothing to do with this, there is a Web Site dedicated to MREs that is amusing at mreinfo.com
 
2014-03-14 06:57:28 PM  

MadCat221: I liked the Beef Stew... do they still make that one?


You make it yourself an hour after you eat any other MRE.
 
2014-03-14 07:08:23 PM  
when i was in kabul (2005-2007) I worked at the US Embassy. We had MRE's in our safe haven. The Security Office in charge of things like safe haven rations noticed that the stock was getting lower. He started asking around. We didn't know what was going on. Then we noticed the TDYer from another office. We never saw him at the dining hall and he was much larger.

evidently, he was eating two or three a day....for over a month. he gained over 20 lbs....and was severely constipated.

the marine security guards also used to have contests to see who could make the largest turd after eating an mre. they wanted me to judge once...i declined.
 
2014-03-14 07:13:04 PM  
Anger is the result?
 
2014-03-14 07:17:48 PM  

69gnarkill69: EatenTheSun: What caliber ammo are they looking for? I can probably part with some of my stash.

So YOU are the dickwad who's causing this damn ammo shortage?


Nah, I'm at work way before the truck arrives at Academy. But I will buy a box or two if I happen to be there.
 
2014-03-14 07:23:05 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I bet there's three possible scenarios here.

1. We sent Ukraine standard issue MREs.

2. We sent Ukraine some special-issue 9mm 5.45×39mm , 50 cal 12.7mm, and other caliber MREs.


Fixed that for you. When fighting a proxy war, you never send weapons that could easily be traced back to you. You send a bunch of untraceable, common eastern bloc stuff so you can shrug and say "Well, they could have got those weapons from *anywhere*". It worked in Afghanistan, right?
 
2014-03-14 07:28:18 PM  

Tanukis_Parachute: when i was in kabul (2005-2007) I worked at the US Embassy. We had MRE's in our safe haven. The Security Office in charge of things like safe haven rations noticed that the stock was getting lower. He started asking around. We didn't know what was going on. Then we noticed the TDYer from another office. We never saw him at the dining hall and he was much larger.

evidently, he was eating two or three a day....for over a month. he gained over 20 lbs....and was severely constipated.

the marine security guards also used to have contests to see who could make the largest turd after eating an mre. they wanted me to judge once...i declined.


Bless those marines providing entertainment wherever they go
 
2014-03-14 07:42:50 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: The ham patty? Yeah, I decided I'd rather starve.


Have to disagree here...the bloc-o-ham was about the only edible thing.
/'91-'99 usmc 1371
 
2014-03-14 07:48:04 PM  

mr lawson: demaL-demaL-yeH: The ham patty? Yeah, I decided I'd rather starve.

Have to disagree here...the bloc-o-ham was about the only edible thing.
/'91-'99 usmc 1371


Against my religion. And we were talking about MCIs. Cans. Of. Stuff.
(That's where those cool can openers the old dudes kept on their dog tags came from.)
But the poor bastards stuck with Human/Lizard Loaf (Ham and/or Chicken Loaf) had to move 100 meters downwind before opening that crap.
 
2014-03-14 07:59:37 PM  
Omlette with ham is farking disgusting, but if you drained out the egg flavored water, dumped the freeze dried coffee coffee into it, stirred in chunks of dried out cheese, add in the sugar, salt, and non dairy creamer, it really...didnt help much. Toss that shiat, trade a couple of smokes for a chicken a la king one and suffer through. The MRE bread was an amazing way to take an entire loaf of bread suck all the air out of it and make it loook like single slice of bread. Drink a canteen of water after eating it and you could feel it expand in your stomach.
 
2014-03-14 08:09:05 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Smackledorfer: Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.

How you doin?

Careful, Tazandra: He's one of those ammo-hoarders.
And he has no taste.


Tazandra likes mres, your argument is invalid.
 
2014-03-14 08:12:30 PM  

mr lawson: demaL-demaL-yeH: The ham patty? Yeah, I decided I'd rather starve.

Have to disagree here...the bloc-o-ham was about the only edible thing.
/'91-'99 usmc 1371


I had the first-generation MRE's back in the 80's. Most were pretty awful, but I really liked the ham & chicken loaf. It was the least bad option. I brought one home on leave to show a couple of friends what I ate in the field, and when I opened the envelope. they recoiled from it, saying it smelled exactly like cat food. Of course, this was in the pre-Tabasco, pre-heater days.
 
2014-03-14 08:12:35 PM  
Surf and turf
Can of spam and a can of sardines
 
2014-03-14 08:46:46 PM  

Whistling Kitty Chaser: We should send them some MRAPs and HMMWVs. I hear we have some spares we're trying to get rid of.


/|\ This +1... 1,000+ MRAP's getting torched/ blown up in A-stan. Too expensive to ship back to home/ fix up and store in the desert bone yard of AZ/NV/Cali...
 
2014-03-14 08:52:17 PM  

buckler: mr lawson: demaL-demaL-yeH: The ham patty? Yeah, I decided I'd rather starve.

Have to disagree here...the bloc-o-ham was about the only edible thing.
/'91-'99 usmc 1371

I had the first-generation MRE's back in the 80's. Most were pretty awful, but I really liked the ham & chicken loaf. It was the least bad option. I brought one home on leave to show a couple of friends what I ate in the field, and when I opened the envelope. they recoiled from it, saying it smelled exactly like cat food. Of course, this was in the pre-Tabasco, pre-heater days.


Then, again, you hated coffee before you got to Ft. Jackson.
 
2014-03-14 09:02:57 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Smackledorfer: Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.

How you doin?

Careful, Tazandra: He's one of those ammo-hoarders.
And he has no taste.


**snort** :)
 
2014-03-14 09:03:33 PM  
MREs? That is it. Of all lthe stuff we have left over from the first Cold War they could use we are sending MREs.

I guess sending them anything else would show too much of a spinal column.


i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-03-14 09:04:21 PM  
You'all needed to be in Korea in the '80's. Mama san could do you a gourmet meal outta Ramen/ flavor pouch and the freeze dried hamburger or pork patty. Now that's good eatin.  She would have that charcoal burner deal up and blazin away in 5-10 min's... hot coffee, noodles, what ever you wanted to have/ pay for. Sweet!

Old enough to have eaten the last stages of C-Rats (non-wartime, no cigs); then 1st gen and 2nd gen MRE's... Best is to relax, heat em up and eat em slow and de-stress... Took some up to the top of Half-Dome in Yosemite, (in 90-91 or so) fired up my coleman single burner and chowed down... Sweet View!
 
2014-03-14 09:06:21 PM  

Smackledorfer: demaL-demaL-yeH: Smackledorfer: Tazandra: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tazandra: Hey now, some MRE'S are pretty damn tasty. :)

Somebody's feeling nostalgic.
/And at least suffering second stage oldtimer's.
//Tabasco is your friend. Mr. Grenade without his pin is not.

I hope you're not referencing me, as I'm pretty young, and female to boot.

How you doin?

Careful, Tazandra: He's one of those ammo-hoarders.
And he has no taste.

Tazandra likes mres, your argument is invalid.


Lol I said some of them are pretty tasty. Not all...but there were some that were good. Of course, after eating from the commissary, lots of things tasted better than they actually were...
 
2014-03-14 09:16:36 PM  

Chuck Wagon: When the U.S first invaded Afghanistan, we air-dropped a whole bunch of MREs. The idea was to help develop good will among the Afghan people. Problem was the MREs were the same color and looked very similar to un-detonated cluster munitions. Good will was not achieved.


Those weren't MREs, those were humrats, Humanitarian Daily Rations.  The early packages were yellow, which led to the confusion.  They changed the color of the humrat package.
 
2014-03-14 09:37:41 PM  
hasty ambush

I guess sending them anything else would show too much of a spinal column.

I like Obama's strategy of not getting us into shooting wars with big, well-armed countries.
 
2014-03-14 09:47:15 PM  
Must Retch Early.

They gave us MREs on a flight back from Germany. And no water. Dehydrated hash brown, anyone?
 
2014-03-14 09:50:42 PM  

phamwaa: Must Retch Early.

They gave us MREs on a flight back from Germany. And no water. Dehydrated hash brown, anyone?


Well Bear Grylls would have had some nice moist hashbrowns.
 
2014-03-14 10:16:18 PM  
I miss MRE bread. That shiat was delicious.
 
2014-03-14 10:26:09 PM  
Sent the Ukraines MREs?  So we are backing the Russian take over of Crimea?
 
2014-03-14 10:52:48 PM  
How many of those three year pizzas are they sending?
www.giantfreakinrobot.com
 
2014-03-15 08:46:48 AM  
We could support the Russians and send the Ukrainians 25000 veggie cheese omelet MREs.
 
2014-03-15 12:05:03 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Vlad_the_Inaner: Vlad_the_Inaner:
Kabul
Afghanistan
Take Shahrara Rd and Kolula Pushta Rd to Salang Wat/A76

Oops, that was how the get the surplus military vehicles from Afghanistan to Ukraine.

Easy drive.   Right through Russia.

I see a problem with your cunning plan.


He's enlisting Iran in NATO.
 
2014-03-15 03:24:20 PM  
Chuck Wagon

When the U.S first invaded Afghanistan, we air-dropped a whole bunch of MREs. The idea was to help develop good will among the Afghan people. Problem was the MREs were the same color and looked very similar to un-detonated cluster munitions. Good will was not achieved.

That was one of the most epic trolls in the history of armed conflict.
 
2014-03-15 05:13:16 PM  
Found on snopes:

MRE dinner date, the following is a true story... Told from the point of
view of a young Marine.

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the
girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner.
After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally
settled on something she has DEFINITELY, definitely had never eaten
before. I got out my trusty case of MRE's. (Meal, Ready-to-Eat) Field
rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories in each
meal.

Here's what I made: I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic
packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-
king and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some
dehydrated/rehydrat ed rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in
one pan, sauté in shaved garlic and olive oil. In another pot, I blended
the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together to make a sort of mush
that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices, and blended
everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for
about 35 minutes at 450 degrees. When I took it out, it looked like,
well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops
of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like Velveeta) and added some green
sprinkly things from one of my spice cans (hey, if it has green sprinkly
things on it, it looks fancy right?

For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five
packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated
it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous
xxxxxxx, and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it. Voilaanger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special
Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special"...it
sells for $4.35 per fifth at the Class Six) and mixed in four packets of
"Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that).
It looked like an eerie Kool-Aid with sparkles in it (that was the
electrolytes I guess... Could've been leftover sand from Egypt ).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the
table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy -series China (that stuff
is EXPENSIVE... My set of 8 place settings cost me over $600 on sale at
the Lejeune PX), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter.

She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE
spaghetti-with- meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the
food, and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!! !" We dug in, and she loved the
food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make
it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking
fine meals. She kind of balked at the make-shift "wine" I had set out, but
after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses
during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed
with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what?
Okay... Yeah... Its Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make... Yup!

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my rest
room. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself "uh oh"
and a resounding but petite fart punctuated her utterance of dismay. Let
the games begin. She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air
Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The military even makes smell-good)
and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look.
After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the
bathroom for the second time, I could hear her say, "What the hell is
WRONG with me???" as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the
porcelain bowl. This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet
paper roll being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair
instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest,
kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she
ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come
out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so
hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks. She came out with a
slightly gray pallor to her face, and said "I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO
idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed; I can't believe I keep
running to your bathroom!!"

I gave her an Imodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed. Later
on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed
it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used
MRE bags and packets in the trash can. After explaining to her that she
had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of "Marine Corps Field Rations" she
turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said "I ate 9,000
calories of dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?" After I admitted
it, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a word. She called
me yesterday. Seems she couldn't shiat for 5 days, and when she finally
did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall.
She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high
caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again,
unless she was PERSONALLY present and supervising.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually and said that that was
the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been
so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears
on the couch.

I know... I'm an asshole, but it was still a funny nigh
t.
 
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