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(Huffington Post UK)   United Sates secretary of state John Kerry and Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov yuck it up and tell old cold war jokes at Crimea meeting ending   (huffingtonpost.co.uk) divider line 62
    More: Unlikely, Sergey Lavrov, John Kerry, Crimean, russian foreign minister, Russians, Ambassadors of the United States, London Today, russian embassy  
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1164 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Mar 2014 at 5:19 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-14 04:33:16 PM
Here's the thing: the EU really doesn't care about the Crimea. 50 years ago it was part of Russia. The US really has no vested interest in this part of the world.

However, if Russia attempt to take over the Ukraine itself...EU will shiat itself. Germany has already given Russia notice.
 
2014-03-14 05:00:22 PM
The US and NATO can really fark things up if they decide a naval blockade is in order. Or if the rations they are giving turn out to be M-16s. There are plenty of reasons to play nice with the west because you never know when someone will escalate things for you.
 
2014-03-14 05:01:10 PM
In Soviet Crimea...
 
2014-03-14 05:23:22 PM

Darth_Lukecash: Here's the thing: the EU really doesn't care about the Crimea. 50 years ago it was part of Russia. The US really has no vested interest in this part of the world.

However, if Russia attempt to take over the Ukraine itself...EU will shiat itself. Germany has already given Russia notice.


All this will do is push Ukraine into NATO sooner rather than later.

And push Europe to switch from Russian LNG to American LNG.

Russia be retarded, to.
 
2014-03-14 05:25:52 PM

Tr0mBoNe: The US and NATO can really fark things up if they decide a naval blockade is in order.


Admittedly, this is the part I'm a bit hazy about. I know there are treaties in place to prevent it, but what if Crimea gets annexed and the Tartars start feeling extra persecuted, causing Turkey to decide to shut off the Bosphorus?
 
2014-03-14 05:29:59 PM

fusillade762: In Soviet Crimea...


Russia invades YOU.
 
2014-03-14 05:32:34 PM
 
2014-03-14 05:34:39 PM
I think we all need to listen to Vizzini on this one.
 
2014-03-14 05:35:08 PM
Look at it this way. If a Republican wins the White House, we won't necessarily have to go war with Iran. We'll have other opponents...er, options to choose from.
 
2014-03-14 05:36:12 PM
So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.
 
2014-03-14 05:41:15 PM
Infernalist:
All this will do is push Ukraine into NATO sooner rather than later.

And push Europe to switch from Russian LNG to American LNG.

Russia be retarded, to.


YAAAY!!!! More fracking here in the US! Whooooo!!!!

Anyways, I get the importance of Crimea to Russia. Naval bases, maritime access, ethnics of the area, etc...

I say screw it, let 'em have Crimea, and rush to get the rest of Ukraine into the E.U. ASAP.

/shrugs shoulders
//got nothing
///slashies
 
2014-03-14 05:42:00 PM
Heard a Ukraine expert say this was a huge blunder by Putin and could even knock him out as Russia's leader in the next 6-18 months.  Forget the pressure from the West, Crimea gets 75% of it's income from tourism.  Of that 75%, 25% is from Russia and 75% from eastern Ukraine.  The Ukrainians aren't going to go there, and if the area experiences bombings, the Russians aren't going to go there.

So Russia will be stuck with a giant economic disaster that will bleed the country of cash they don't have.

Good luck with that.
 
2014-03-14 05:43:01 PM
Darth_Lukecash:
However, if Russia attempt to take over the Ukraine itself...EU will shiat itself. Germany has already given Russia notice.

I can give my electric company notice all I want, they don't give a shiat.

Counting Russia herself, four of the G8 countries are powered by Gazprom.
 
2014-03-14 05:44:43 PM

TinyFist: Anyways, I get the importance of Crimea to Russia. Naval bases, maritime access, ethnics of the area, etc...


The reason Crimea is predominantly ethnically Russian is because over the course of the past century, they've been (rather intentionally) pushing the Tartars out (who were there before them).

..and those naval bases aren't worth crap if they piss Turkey off.
 
2014-03-14 05:45:08 PM

Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 05:45:21 PM

Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


I think she did a fine job.

"Hello. Whoever she is, Bill, you can't bring her home...What? Terror attacks where? When? Well, at this point, what does it matter? Goodnight!"
 
2014-03-14 05:51:06 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


I think she did a fine job.

"Hello. Whoever she is, Bill, you can't bring her home."


She's got my vote right there
 
2014-03-14 05:51:50 PM

TinyFist: Infernalist:
All this will do is push Ukraine into NATO sooner rather than later.

And push Europe to switch from Russian LNG to American LNG.

Russia be retarded, to.

YAAAY!!!! More fracking here in the US! Whooooo!!!!

Anyways, I get the importance of Crimea to Russia. Naval bases, maritime access, ethnics of the area, etc...

I say screw it, let 'em have Crimea, and rush to get the rest of Ukraine into the E.U. ASAP.

/shrugs shoulders
//got nothing
///slashies


YOU'RE AN APPEASER!
 
2014-03-14 05:56:48 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Hello. Whoever she is, Bill, you can't bring her home.


Come on, that call never happens, Bill's got his own swinging pad to take his ladies.
 
2014-03-14 05:57:59 PM

THE CLINTON BLOWJOB

OR:

THE BENGHAZI IN THE BEDROOM

TONIGHT ON SYFY

 
2014-03-14 05:58:05 PM
Russia's pulling out all their money from the US as they expect sanctions are coming.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/mar/14/russia-us-treasury-b il l-bonds-ukraine-sanctions?CMP=twt_fd&CMP=SOCxx2I2
 
2014-03-14 05:58:49 PM

All2morrowsparTs: Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


Yeah. Funny pic. But you won't be laughing when Sarah Palin is automatically made president.
 
2014-03-14 06:02:55 PM
Uh, "United Sates"?
 
2014-03-14 06:06:45 PM

Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


You misspelled BENGHAAAZZI!!I!
 
2014-03-14 06:08:40 PM
United really did go out of their way to satisfy John Kerry, subby. I just don't understand how it's relevant to the discussion.
 
2014-03-14 06:08:43 PM
I'm guessing this is why gas jumped a quarter in less than a week.
 
2014-03-14 06:17:11 PM

Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.


Benghazi? Really? Are you that lame?
 
2014-03-14 06:19:06 PM
If the headline is true that's kinda funny. Also I don't think we need to be playing chicken with Russia but whatever.
/Articles? We don't read no stinkin articles.
 
2014-03-14 06:24:17 PM
For all intents and purposes, this is a losing hand for Russia.  Unfortunately, by the time Putin folds, a lot of really bad shiat will happen.
 
2014-03-14 06:25:15 PM

Mugato: Agneska: So who do you think will answer that 3 AM call now that Hillary is gone? She did a superb job with the Benghazi call... oh wait.

Benghazi? Really? Are you that lame?


Apparently, yes.
 
2014-03-14 06:27:02 PM

Almost Everybody Poops: Russia's pulling out all their money from the US as they expect sanctions are coming.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/mar/14/russia-us-treasury-b il l-bonds-ukraine-sanctions?CMP=twt_fd&CMP=SOCxx2I2


I'm guessing the now slightly less wealthy Russians can't be very happy with Putin.  Add in that he's threatening to turn off the flow of currency (also known as shutting off gas to EU), he might be in need of a new career soon.
 
2014-03-14 06:29:36 PM
The west has pretty much ceded Crimea to Russia.  What they are trying to prevent is Ukraine losing the eastern half of the country.  Putin is waiting to see how much resistance he gets on Crimea to decide if he'll move his troops in for another annexation.
 
2014-03-14 06:41:59 PM

hammettman: For all intents and purposes, this is a losing hand for Russia.


If Russia didn't have a good handful of nukes still, I'd be laughing at the fact that Putin seems pretty hellbent on Russian expansion while ignoring the fact a staggering amount of his citizens are unemployed and strung/rotted out on krokodil.

But, they do have a stockpile in the thousands still kicking about. Russia, as a state actor, won't use them, but we already have at least one nuclear country out there a mere pubic hair away from "failed state" status (Hello, Pakistan). Let's not have another, shall we?
 
2014-03-14 06:48:39 PM

OdradekRex: The west has pretty much ceded Crimea to Russia.  What they are trying to prevent is Ukraine losing the eastern half of the country.  Putin is waiting to see how much resistance he gets on Crimea to decide if he'll move his troops in for another annexation.


Not really.  What they've done is gathered together the relevant heads of state of the West and said "We're not going to instigate a shooting war. Instead, we're going to bankrupt the farkers."

And that's exactly what's going to happen before it's all said and done.  Russian business has already pulled their assets from the West, voluntarily enacting what the West was going to do by initiating asset seizures.  That being, isolating Russian business from the global market.

As for the gas issue, well, winter's almost over and Germany is quite capable of kicking their nuclear reactors back online if need be, while Norway has promised to cover short-term energy needs.  And by shutting off the gas to the West, Russia will be effectively cutting their own throat.  They need western dollars far far far more than Europe needs that fuel now that winter is almost over.

Russia may well get to keep the Crimea region, but it's going to result in the disemboweling of their economy in the short term and long term.  Russia has NOTHING else other than their LNG sales to Europe when it comes to revenue streams worth mentioning.

That, combined with pushing Ukraine to join NATA as soon as humanly possible, Russia's going to find itself in a financial meltdown and NATO forces parked on their border with Ukraine.

Putin is a farking retard.
 
2014-03-14 06:56:20 PM
It's pretty hard to negotiate when one side is saying their troops are not even their when they are. To start negotiations you kind of need to start at a point where you both agree one what is reality.
 
2014-03-14 07:00:34 PM
I am just glad this shiat head is not the president right now:
www.odt.co.nz
(Or actually most other dumbshiat Republicans)
 
2014-03-14 07:05:48 PM

1derful: Darth_Lukecash:
However, if Russia attempt to take over the Ukraine itself...EU will shiat itself. Germany has already given Russia notice.

I can give my electric company notice all I want, they don't give a shiat.

Counting Russia herself, four of the G8 countries are powered by Gazprom.


Putin can only press so far on that. Then you realize that your funding the gangster that will eventually burn down your home.
 
2014-03-14 07:27:16 PM
"What? Me Worry?"
www.retronaut.com
 
2014-03-14 07:51:00 PM

fusillade762: In Soviet Crimea...


...Referendum votes or you.
 
2014-03-14 07:59:06 PM

Target Builder: fusillade762: In Soviet Crimea...

...Referendum votes or you.


sovietrussia.tv
 
2014-03-14 08:17:16 PM

Infernalist: Russia be retarded, to.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-14 08:41:56 PM
North Korea should take this moment to do something... Crazy.
 
2014-03-14 08:45:02 PM

TinyFist: Infernalist:
All this will do is push Ukraine into NATO sooner rather than later.

And push Europe to switch from Russian LNG to American LNG.

Russia be retarded, to.

YAAAY!!!! More fracking here in the US! Whooooo!!!!

Anyways, I get the importance of Crimea to Russia. Naval bases, maritime access, ethnics of the area, etc...

I say screw it, let 'em have Crimea, and rush to get the rest of Ukraine into the E.U. ASAP.

/shrugs shoulders
//got nothing
///slashies


Ukraine isn't elligeble to join the EU. This is for the EU to decide, and its a no.
 
2014-03-14 08:50:23 PM
Infernalist:

That, combined with pushing Ukraine to join NATA as soon as humanly possible, Russia's going to find itself in a financial meltdown and NATO forces parked on their border with Ukraine.

Putin is a farking retard.


In 100 years Crimea will probably still be Russian. Thats probably Putins perspective on this.
 
2014-03-14 08:51:58 PM
The headline should read "United Sates secretary of sate John Kerry..."
 
2014-03-14 08:52:57 PM

CygnusDarius: North Korea should take this moment to do something... Crazy.


They fired off some scuds a couple of weeks ago and complained about the US-SK military drills.

No one cared.
 
2014-03-14 09:07:04 PM

Corvus: I am just glad this shiat head is not the president right now:
[www.odt.co.nz image 471x512]
(Or actually most other dumbshiat Republicans)


Not to worry, those little shiat head farkers would be peeing their pants at the notion of a real war with Russia. They are all talk, no action
 
2014-03-14 09:08:02 PM

Corvus: I am just glad this shiat head is not the president right now:
[www.odt.co.nz image 471x512]
(Or actually most other dumbshiat Republicans)


As a Texan... I don't think there's any danger of someone whose main advertising point is that they were governor of TX ever winning the presidency again, not after W.  Give it another half century minimum, anyhow.

The fact that the position is (very intentionally) a do-nothing post we shove people we don't want interfering in our real politics into is just too common-knowledge at this point.
 
2014-03-14 09:11:57 PM

Darth_Lukecash: Here's the thing: the EU really doesn't care about the Crimea. 50 years ago it was part of Russia. The US really has no vested interest in this part of the world.

However, if Russia attempt to take over the Ukraine itself...EU will shiat itself. Germany has already given Russia notice.


Putin is a bully and a tyrant.  Both the EU and the US have allowed him to do whatever he wants (in Georgia, the various -stans, etc) for years, which mean he's going to keep pushing to see just how much he can grab.

At some point, the rest of the world needs to put their foot down and stop him.  Or he's going to invade Poland.  There's really no in-between.
 
2014-03-14 09:15:23 PM
Russia really is opening up a can of worms for itself. First of all, Crimea receives all its water and power from Ukraine. If the Ukrainians cut them off, the Russkies may find themselves in a Berlin airlift scenario, except instead of having to supply just one city, they will have to take care of an entire province. The solution to that of course is to annex the rest of Ukraine, but the Russian army isn't all that big and pulling military units out of restive Muslim territories to occupy Ukraine is going to open them up to the kind of terrorist attacks thy are currently managing to contain only by dint of a massive military presence. Right now the draft in Russia is for twelve months. Let's see how extending the conscription period, and calling back recent veterans, goes over with an already demoralized population.

The Tatars in Crimea are already talking about jihad, cf.:

http://euromaidanpr.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/crimean-tatars-warn-rus si a-of-jihad/comment-page-1/

Simultaneous Muslim uprisings in Crimea, Chechnya, Ingushetia, Dagestan,etc., coupled with a Western sanctions will put an end to Putin's dreams of empire in short order. Of course he can always threaten to go nuclear, but that would mean either fouling his own nest or threatening war with the West over what are after all merely economic measures. In this unlikely scenario I imagine we'd see some sort of military coup by an exasperated officers corps. They may be crazy, but they're not that crazy.
 
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