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(Some Guy)   Oh, nothing. Just a giant asteroid that might hit us on March 21st   (livefreelivenatural.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, Monetary Policy Committee, information center, Queen's University, Torino  
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18441 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2014 at 1:29 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-03-14 12:02:53 PM  
 
2014-03-14 12:04:18 PM  
Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.
 
2014-03-14 12:06:03 PM  

Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.


So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.
 
2014-03-14 12:07:19 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-14 12:13:00 PM  
What the cat said.
 
2014-03-14 12:15:27 PM  
Great, it had to wait until spring. Why couldn't it have hit when I had to start my car in the morning at -9, and I was just praying for death's sweet release.
 
2014-03-14 12:26:42 PM  

Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.


I could stay awake
Just to HEAR you BREATHINNNNN-AHHH!
 
2014-03-14 12:37:24 PM  

Donnchadha: Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.


ARE YOU DOUBTING THE VERACITY OF STATEMENTS MADE BY LIVEFREELIVENATURAL.COM!
 
2014-03-14 12:38:17 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-14 12:41:06 PM  
FTFA: But the gravitational influence of giant planets such as Jupiter can nudge asteroids out of these safe orbits and send them plunging into the Earth's neighbourhood.

i.imgur.com

"Gravitational influence"....yeah...right.
 
2014-03-14 01:16:39 PM  

www.saturation.org

 
2014-03-14 01:20:54 PM  
Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*
 
2014-03-14 01:29:09 PM  
www.cheersandgears.com
 
2014-03-14 01:31:52 PM  
Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "
 
2014-03-14 01:32:37 PM  
No that doesn't work, I have a company lunch that afternoon. Asteroid, we're going to have to reschedule.
 
2014-03-14 01:33:52 PM  
I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.
 
2014-03-14 01:34:33 PM  
 
2014-03-14 01:34:39 PM  
Persian New Year is March 21st. Coincidence?
No! Sending that monkey into space was all part of the mission... The monkey didn't just "die" he was silenced because he knew the TRUTH.
 
2014-03-14 01:35:12 PM  
Meh, wake me when it actually hits us.
 
2014-03-14 01:35:23 PM  
And ...

cdn.unleashthefanboy.com

Put me on the stick, (buttons).  I got it covered.

Shoot rocks and run.
 
2014-03-14 01:35:31 PM  
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!
 
2014-03-14 01:35:46 PM  
I blame Bush.  Thanks Obama
 
2014-03-14 01:36:48 PM  

Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up summon Bruce Willis? He's napping  slumbers.  For now.


/ftagn.

 
2014-03-14 01:37:12 PM  
Can we speed it up to the 18th, because I will have a hell of a hangover.
 
2014-03-14 01:37:21 PM  

HulkHands: http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news138.html


Donnchadha: Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.


Yes, these.  As soon as I saw "2003 QQ47" I knew it wasn't something discovered in 2013.

Old news is so exciting?
 
2014-03-14 01:37:52 PM  
We need you all. Service guarantees citizenship
 
2014-03-14 01:38:04 PM  

cirby: "But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!


A one in a million shot works out nine times out ten.
 
2014-03-14 01:38:09 PM  

haemaker: Donnchadha: Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.

ARE YOU DOUBTING THE VERACITY OF STATEMENTS MADE BY LIVEFREELIVENATURAL.COM!


I picture a nudist camp.
 
2014-03-14 01:38:12 PM  
Well hey the doomsayers were finally right. Who woulda thunk that?

Alright lets go wild for a week!
 
2014-03-14 01:38:33 PM  

Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.


You mean the website warning me that Orange Juice may contain Pig Blood?
 
2014-03-14 01:38:56 PM  
The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47
 lifeinblush.com
 
2014-03-14 01:39:07 PM  

cirby: "But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-03-14 01:39:17 PM  

Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.


I still want to stuff Animal Crackers down Liv Tyler's pants.
 
2014-03-14 01:39:38 PM  

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


Isn't it great tho, that by merely collecting information we can nullify a global threat?
 
2014-03-14 01:39:49 PM  
Wow, that's some shiatty reporting right there.

- It was "first observed on August 24 by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (LINEAR), based in Socorro, New Mexico"; implying that it was discovered in Aug 2013. But the name, 2003 QQ47 shows that it was discovered in 2003.

- The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

I actually feel less informed after reading that.
 
2014-03-14 01:40:06 PM  
Head for the Mother Ship

A fiery dragon will cross the sky
six times before the earth shall die.
Mankind will tremble and frightened be
for the six heralds in this prophecy.

For seven days and seven nights
man will watch this awesome sight.
The tides will rise beyond their ken.
To bite away the shores and then
the mountains will begin to roar
and earthquakes split the plain to shore.

And flooding waters rushing in,
will flood the lands with such a din
that mankind cowers in muddy fen
and snarls about his fellow men.

He bares his teeth and fights and kills
and secrets food in secret hill
and ugly in his fear, he lies
to kill marauders, thieves and spies.

Man flees in terror from the floods
and kills, and rapes and lies in blood
and spilling blood by mankind's hand
will stain and bitter many lands.

And when the dragon's tail is gone
man forgets and smiles and carries on.
To apply himself - too late, too late
for mankind has earned deserved fate.

His masked smile, his false grandeur,
will serve the gods their anger stir
and they will send the dragon back
to light the sky - his tail will crack.
Upon the earth and rend the earth
and man shall flee, king, lord and serf.

But slowly they are routed out
to seek diminishing water spout
and men will die of thirst before
the oceans rise to mount to the shore.
And lands will crack and rend anew
do you think it strange, it will come true.
 
2014-03-14 01:40:43 PM  
so that crazy NFL hopeful was right?  The end really is nigh.

/lol
 
2014-03-14 01:40:48 PM  
But the gravitational influence of giant planets such as Jupiter can nudge asteroids out of these safe orbits and send them plunging into the Earth's neighbourhood.

Of course, sometimes, giant bugs from another solar system shoot balls of plasma from their abdomen into our solar system, with such uncanny accuracy, that they can knock an asteroid out of orbit, and aim it directly at Beunos Airies.

It was in the movies.  So it must be possible...
 
2014-03-14 01:41:10 PM  
fta The asteroid has been given a classification - known as a "Torino hazard rating"

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-14 01:42:01 PM  
And I COULD have sex with Kate Mara on March 21, but it's pretty unlikely.

/then I read the other "articles" on the sight and saw it's a tinfoil hat type place
 
2014-03-14 01:42:55 PM  

Donnchadha: Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.


Of course they'd say that. They don't anyone to panic as Armageddon arrives as was foretold. So long, suckers
 
2014-03-14 01:43:49 PM  
So, a 1 in 901,000 chance of a collision = OMGWE'REALLGONNADIE!!!
Yeah, that site's top stories are this, vaccines are evil, and GMOs will cause "ecocide". It's not exactly a reputable source.
 
2014-03-14 01:44:09 PM  

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


They probably got that from the original 2003 article


//Juses, now they are greelighting other peoples repeats......
 
2014-03-14 01:44:17 PM  
Well that one will miss us, probably. Maybe there are some smaller follower rocks that might make some pretty trails across the atmosphere.
 
2014-03-14 01:44:25 PM  

OregonVet: Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Isn't it great tho, that by merely collecting information we can nullify a global threat?


Zasteva: Wow, that's some shiatty reporting right there.

- It was "first observed on August 24 by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (LINEAR), based in Socorro, New Mexico"; implying that it was discovered in Aug 2013. But the name, 2003 QQ47 shows that it was discovered in 2003.

- The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

I actually feel less informed after reading that.


Mr. Twain couldn't agree with you anymore.

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

-Mark Twain
 
2014-03-14 01:45:31 PM  

The Flexecutioner: so that crazy NFL hopeful was right?  The end really is nigh.

/lol


So is the sheriff.
 
2014-03-14 01:46:23 PM  
Never heard of that site. Let's see what else they report on!

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Subby?
rlv.zcache.com
 
2014-03-14 01:47:02 PM  
Per the article, it's a maybe yes, then again, maybe no.
 
2014-03-14 01:47:06 PM  

Zasteva: Wow, that's some shiatty reporting right there.

- It was "first observed on August 24 by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (LINEAR), based in Socorro, New Mexico"; implying that it was discovered in Aug 2013. But the name, 2003 QQ47 shows that it was discovered in 2003.

- The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

I actually feel less informed after reading that.


And the website features handy-dandy charts at the bottom featuring the prices of gold & silver for your end-times shopping convenience.
 
2014-03-14 01:47:38 PM  
Well, at least we get one day of Spring.

Well, half a day. The Vernal Equinox is around 12.57 pm.
 
2014-03-14 01:47:42 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.

I still want to stuff Animal Crackers down Liv Tyler's pants.


I'd spend a night in her Casablanca.

I'd duck her soup.

She can coco my nuts.
 
2014-03-14 01:47:43 PM  

Sybarite: Great, it had to wait until spring. Why couldn't it have hit when I had to start my car in the morning at -9, and I was just praying for death's sweet release.


heh.  same here.  only it was 29 below.

/as an aside, i used to make a 1,200 mile roadtrip every two weeks, driving straight thru for 600 miles one way.  i often pondered...if i knew that my trip would end in a fatal carcrash, would i want it to happen at the end, or the beginning?
 
2014-03-14 01:47:48 PM  

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: [media.tumblr.com image 400x400]


This ^
 
2014-03-14 01:48:10 PM  

Zasteva: Wow, that's some shiatty reporting right there.

- It was "first observed on August 24 by Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program (LINEAR), based in Socorro, New Mexico"; implying that it was discovered in Aug 2013. But the name, 2003 QQ47 shows that it was discovered in 2003.

- The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

I actually feel less informed after reading that.


Well, what do you expect from a shiatty blog named "Live Free Live Natural", whose other greatest hits run the gamut of anti-GMO, anti-vax scarelore of the past 10 years.
 
2014-03-14 01:48:56 PM  

stir22: Sybarite: Great, it had to wait until spring. Why couldn't it have hit when I had to start my car in the morning at -9, and I was just praying for death's sweet release.

heh.  same here.  only it was 29 below.

/as an aside, i used to make a 1,200 mile roadtrip every two weeks, driving straight thru for 600 miles one way.  i often pondered...if i knew that my trip would end in a fatal carcrash, would i want it to happen at the end, or the beginning?


The correct answer is "Yes, you would".
 
2014-03-14 01:49:23 PM  

GanjSmokr: Meh, wake me when it actually hits us.


Its not big enough to do that....
 
2014-03-14 01:49:26 PM  
What if hits Buenos Aires?
 
2014-03-14 01:50:34 PM  
BRING IT, BABY!
 
2014-03-14 01:50:53 PM  
FTFA: But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information.

forums.crackberry.com
 
2014-03-14 01:51:09 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*


No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.
 
2014-03-14 01:52:14 PM  
livefreelivenatural.com

rlv.zcache.com
 
2014-03-14 01:52:33 PM  

Bermuda59: What if hits Buenos Aires?


It gives this guy a reason to fight.

www.virginmedia.com
 
2014-03-14 01:53:42 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.


Once you go mok, you never go bock
 
2014-03-14 01:54:06 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.


Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!
 
2014-03-14 01:54:25 PM  

Communist_Manifesto: cirby: "But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 256x192]



/adjusts dunce cap
 
2014-03-14 01:54:43 PM  
FTFA: "An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide..."

What an asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide might look like according to TFA :

livefreelivenatural.com

/seems legit
 
2014-03-14 01:55:19 PM  
www.bellaescritor.com
 
2014-03-14 01:55:43 PM  
That isn't an asteroid. It's the first of many radioactive bombs from Gamilon.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-14 01:56:26 PM  
oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?
 
2014-03-14 01:57:54 PM  
impose.vaesite.com

I wouldn't worry too much about it.
 
2014-03-14 01:57:56 PM  
I have this bank account in Ethiopia that has $20M dollars in it. I want to spread this cash around the world so that it won't all be in one place when the asteroid hits. Would you be willing to give me your bank account information so that I can deposit some of the money in it. I will be forgiving you 2.5% for your effort trouble.
 
2014-03-14 01:59:41 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: [www.saturation.org image 350x250]


Any news report that uses the  Fist of an Angry Godmeme seems legit.
 
2014-03-14 02:01:48 PM  
If I ever find one of these people who keeps writing these "OMG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" articles, I will kick them in the shins and shove a loaf of bread in their eyes.
 
2014-03-14 02:01:53 PM  
Yesterday I learned that Bill Gates III is my tenth cousin once removed (just like Cousin George the Firewood-Splitter). Today I learn a giant asteroid will strike on March 21. Coincidence. I think not.

If that asteroid breaks up and each piece hits a closer relation of Bill Gates than me, I'm in the money!

I'm only tens or at the most a few hundreds of thousands of people away from enormous wealth. In fact, there's lots of billionaires in my family tree. Mind you the lawyers will take the lion's share, but hey, a fellow can dream.

The odds of winning the jackpot are about the same with or without a ticket, as I always say about the Lotto 649. I just have to keep my eyes open and hope the winning ticket was accidentally dropped and didn't land in a mud puddle or slush.
 
2014-03-14 02:02:21 PM  
Whiskey?  Check.  Sammiches?  Check.  Foofy blankets and bandwidth Check.  Bring it.
 
2014-03-14 02:02:33 PM  
My favorite part of the article is that the graphic for it is basically the moon crashing into earth.
 
2014-03-14 02:03:03 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: I still want to stuff Animal Crackers down Liv Tyler's pants.


I remember the Riff Traxx for that scene, "Do you think he does this with Matt Damon?"
 
2014-03-14 02:03:19 PM  
2003 qq47 will pass 11 927 903.277 miles from the Earth on March 26, closest approach

science, it works
 
2014-03-14 02:03:27 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?


Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.
 
2014-03-14 02:04:02 PM  
Black President's Fault.
 
2014-03-14 02:06:42 PM  

dbirchall: HulkHands: http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news138.html

Donnchadha: Just FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

In fact, it's so low on the scale that NASA's NEO project hasn't even been monitoring it since then.

Yes, these.  As soon as I saw "2003 QQ47" I knew it wasn't something discovered in 2013.

Old news is so exciting?


At FreeLiveNatural.whatever, time is but an illusion...
 
2014-03-14 02:06:46 PM  

Dalrint: My favorite part of the article is that the graphic for it is basically the moon crashing into earth.


If that's the case, I'm going to start speculating in rupees.
 
2014-03-14 02:07:00 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-14 02:09:40 PM  

dittybopper: Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?

Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.


Dammit!  Where were you 20 years ago?  I was wondering why I'm facing 40 and still have to keep hookers locked in my basement.
 
2014-03-14 02:11:09 PM  

Zasteva: - The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.


Maybe the budget for asteroid tracking is so low, the new method of determining whether an asteroid is going to hit is to wait until a couple of months after it is due to hit, and then look outside - if the sky is still thick with ejecta and there is 30ft of snow over a land scoured by a giant tsunami and firestorm, then it means the asteroid was on a collision course.
 
2014-03-14 02:16:34 PM  

Bermuda59: We need you all. Service guarantees citizenship


Would you like to know more?
 
2014-03-14 02:17:06 PM  

xria: Zasteva: - The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

Maybe the budget for asteroid tracking is so low, the new method of determining whether an asteroid is going to hit is to wait until a couple of months after it is due to hit, and then look outside - if the sky is still thick with ejecta and there is 30ft of snow over a land scoured by a giant tsunami and firestorm, then it means the asteroid was on a collision course.


You make an interesting point about the current budget being very low for asteroid tracking.  But exactly what would you propose be done about it?  First of all, there isn't a budget in this world large enough to fund finding every single rock that might be headed our way.  There are just WAY too many of them.  And secondly, even if we KNEW an asteroid were going to hit, we couldn't do a damn thing about it anyway
 
2014-03-14 02:22:49 PM  
3/14/2014 - (husband) Hey honey....guess what I learned today at work?  We only have 7 days left until the world gets hit by an asteroid.  Let's make these last 7 days count. :-)
3/15/2014 - :-)
3/16/2014 - :-)
3/17/2014 - :-)
3/18/2014 - :-)
3/19/2014 - :-)
3/20/2014 - :-)
3/21/2014 - Nothing happens
4/30/2014 - (wife) I'm late.  (husband) DAMN IT!!!

Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.

/try it though
//it might work....(doubt it)
 
2014-03-14 02:24:47 PM  

sid244: 3/14/2014 - (husband) Hey honey....guess what I learned today at work?  We only have 7 days left until the world gets hit by an asteroid.  Let's make these last 7 days count. :-)
3/15/2014 - :-)
3/16/2014 - :-)
3/17/2014 - :-)
3/18/2014 - :-)
3/19/2014 - :-)
3/20/2014 - :-)
3/21/2014 - Nothing happens
4/30/2014 - (wife) I'm late.  (husband) DAMN IT!!!

Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.

/try it though
//it might work....(doubt it)


Most women aren't that interested in sex. It's boring.
 
2014-03-14 02:28:04 PM  

durbnpoisn: xria: Zasteva: - The article, posted on March 14th (today), warns of a possible collision on March 21, 2014 (a week from now). Yet it cites scientists saying "As additional observations are made over the coming months, and the uncertainties decrease, asteroid 2003 QQ47 is likely to drop down the Torino scale."; so either the quote is months out of date, or the scientists are fully expecting it not to collide with earth.

Maybe the budget for asteroid tracking is so low, the new method of determining whether an asteroid is going to hit is to wait until a couple of months after it is due to hit, and then look outside - if the sky is still thick with ejecta and there is 30ft of snow over a land scoured by a giant tsunami and firestorm, then it means the asteroid was on a collision course.

You make an interesting point about the current budget being very low for asteroid tracking.  But exactly what would you propose be done about it?  First of all, there isn't a budget in this world large enough to fund finding every single rock that might be headed our way.  There are just WAY too many of them.  And secondly, even if we KNEW an asteroid were going to hit, we couldn't do a damn thing about it anyway


Well, we could go down into the basement.

/ Trailer park residents have no basements, they're doomed. Just like tornadoes seeking them out, the asteroid will aim straight for them.
 
2014-03-14 02:29:28 PM  
Source:
livefreelivenatural.com

Recent Posts
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    BREAKING NEWS: Scientists Warn that Huge Asteroid Could Strike Earth on March 21st
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    Sleep Soundly, America: 81-Year-Old Lady Jailed for Feeding Birds
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Yeah, I'll ignore this like I do so many other garbage sites Fark likes to link.
 
2014-03-14 02:30:41 PM  
Did I just read the Fox News of science websites?
 
2014-03-14 02:42:52 PM  

Whatthefark: That isn't an asteroid. It's the first of many radioactive bombs from Gamilon.

[i.imgur.com image 600x412]


Desslock Desslock Dessssssssslock
 
2014-03-14 02:43:18 PM  
It's really irresponsible to report this sort of thing when they know damn well it's not going to hit us. It only serves to freak people out (well morons and fundies) but still.
 
2014-03-14 02:43:32 PM  
static.guim.co.uk

media.giphy.com

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-14 02:43:52 PM  

RRicochet: sid244: 3/14/2014 - (husband) Hey honey....guess what I learned today at work?  We only have 7 days left until the world gets hit by an asteroid.  Let's make these last 7 days count. :-)
3/15/2014 - :-)
3/16/2014 - :-)
3/17/2014 - :-)
3/18/2014 - :-)
3/19/2014 - :-)
3/20/2014 - :-)
3/21/2014 - Nothing happens
4/30/2014 - (wife) I'm late.  (husband) DAMN IT!!!

Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.

/try it though
//it might work....(doubt it)

Most women aren't that interested in sex. It's boring.


Perhaps you're doing it wrong ;-)
 
2014-03-14 02:46:35 PM  
Good, just make sure that if it hits the US it hits the South.
 
2014-03-14 02:47:30 PM  

Bermuda59: What if hits Buenos Aires?


Carn: Bermuda59: We need you all. Service guarantees citizenship

Would you like to know more?


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 02:49:49 PM  
I just love that kind of shiat.

"The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47 "

How do you think they name these things, numbnuts? :P
 
2014-03-14 02:50:55 PM  

Zasteva: RRicochet: sid244: 3/14/2014 - (husband) Hey honey....guess what I learned today at work?  We only have 7 days left until the world gets hit by an asteroid.  Let's make these last 7 days count. :-)
3/15/2014 - :-)
3/16/2014 - :-)
3/17/2014 - :-)
3/18/2014 - :-)
3/19/2014 - :-)
3/20/2014 - :-)
3/21/2014 - Nothing happens
4/30/2014 - (wife) I'm late.  (husband) DAMN IT!!!

Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.

/try it though
//it might work....(doubt it)

Most women aren't that interested in sex. It's boring.

Perhaps you're doing it wrong ;-)


Takes too long. WBTYM is more like it. Stop wasting my time.
 
2014-03-14 02:52:18 PM  

drop: I just love that kind of shiat.

"The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47 "

How do you think they name these things, numbnuts? :P


Haha, "No, it's newly discovered! You heard it here first! Tell your friends!"
cataclysmicimpactpanic.jpg
 
2014-03-14 02:58:21 PM  

Jim.Casy: No that doesn't work, I have a company lunch that afternoon. Asteroid, we're going to have to reschedule.


The odds of winning the mega millions is like 1 in 280 million yet that happens several times a year.
 
2014-03-14 02:59:16 PM  

Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.


Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.
 
2014-03-14 02:59:48 PM  

SpacePirate: drop: I just love that kind of shiat.

"The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47 "

How do you think they name these things, numbnuts? :P

Haha, "No, it's newly discovered! You heard it here first! Tell your friends!"
cataclysmicimpactpanic.jpg


It's closest approach is also on March 26 (not 21).  It'll be just under 50 times as far away as the moon.

But I know who *I* believe and it's *not* those damn scientists, always lyin, gettin me pissed.
 
2014-03-14 03:00:13 PM  

dittybopper: OtherLittleGuy: Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.

I still want to stuff Animal Crackers down Liv Tyler's pants.

I'd spend a night in her Casablanca.

I'd duck her soup.

She can coco my nuts.


I would drill into her asteroid
 
2014-03-14 03:00:26 PM  

Por que tan serioso: Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.

Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.


Or the teacher who taught you how to spell grammar?
 
2014-03-14 03:01:34 PM  
The end of the world?  Alright!  I'm going streaking, who's coming with me!?
 
2014-03-14 03:06:22 PM  
Mouse over the link.

"Livefreelivenatural.com".

Smells like bullschitt.

NGTRTFA.
 
2014-03-14 03:08:11 PM  

durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!


LORDS OF LIGHT!

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 03:13:31 PM  

Mugato: It's really irresponsible to report this sort of thing when they know damn well it's not going to hit us. It only serves to freak people out (well morons and fundies) but still.


Ah, c'mon, it brings a little excitement to an otherwise boring day.
 
2014-03-14 03:16:29 PM  

drop: Por que tan serioso: Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.

Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.

Or the teacher who taught you how to spell grammar?


Ah, goddamn it.
 
2014-03-14 03:17:41 PM  
So I hit the t instead of the y.  That's not a grammar problem.
 
2014-03-14 03:20:26 PM  

Mell of a Hess: So I hit the t instead of the y.  That's not a grammar problem.


lolwut.com
 
2014-03-14 03:21:27 PM  

Pincy: Good, just make sure that if it hits the US it hits the South.


But.. But.. I'm in the south :(
 
2014-03-14 03:26:24 PM  
As if that website had much credibility to begin with, it's also a full-out Anti-Vaxxer site.
 
2014-03-14 03:45:32 PM  
2/3 of a mile long isn't the correct unit of measure. It should be about 3 empire state buildings long.
 
2014-03-14 03:48:25 PM  
Where is Harold Camping when we really need him?
 
2014-03-14 03:56:23 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: dittybopper: Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?

Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.

Dammit!  Where were you 20 years ago?  I was wondering why I'm facing 40 and still have to keep hookers locked in my basement.


Twenty years ago?  Engaged to be married.
 
2014-03-14 04:01:05 PM  
Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
 
2014-03-14 04:02:35 PM  

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


Yep...the odds of winning the Power Ball is 1 in 175,000,000. So basically I am 175 x more likely to be incinerated by a giant meteor than winning the lottery, thus proving my theory lottery ticket buyers are suckers.
 
2014-03-14 04:10:57 PM  
the odds of this actually happening are just astronomical.
 
2014-03-14 04:15:06 PM  

kling_klang_bed: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[media.giphy.com image 500x212]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x189]


Excellent farking film. Though, a wee depressing.
 
2014-03-14 04:25:51 PM  

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


Never tell me the odds
 
2014-03-14 04:28:44 PM  

phenn: kling_klang_bed: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[media.giphy.com image 500x212]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x189]

Excellent farking film. Though, a wee depressing.


Yeah, but then again that's Lars Van Trier for ya! Never watch any of his films expecting anything short of excellent but absolutely devoid of all hope.
I remember when me and my friend watched it, and the next morning we headed out, and there was one of those morning moons you see every now and then. But HUGE as fark compared to other times I've seen it! And I was like "dude, it's farking Melancholia!". Eerie stuff!
 
2014-03-14 04:30:23 PM  

The Flexecutioner: the odds of this actually happening are just astronomical.



i see what you did there.

love it when people use astronomical when they mean minuscule.
 
2014-03-14 04:31:07 PM  
19 million km from Earth is not an impact
 
2014-03-14 04:35:47 PM  
The number of close calls, cosmically speaking, when put into proportion with our very short existence on earth, means that in the grand scope of things we're already dead.

So, something, something, tgif party
 
2014-03-14 04:39:43 PM  
Can I do anything about it?
No?

Okay, back to fapping.
 
2014-03-14 04:49:27 PM  
"There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or a giant asteroid that's about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!"

"Oh.....so I shouldn't have told them then. Was I not supposed to do that?"

"............"
 
2014-03-14 04:50:42 PM  

durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!


Or if it just hit the moon and knocked it a bit closer, that could cause trouble as well.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-03-14 04:54:09 PM  

kling_klang_bed: Yeah, but then again that's Lars Van Trier for ya! Never watch any of his films expecting anything short of excellent but absolutely devoid of all hope.
I remember when me and my friend watched it, and the next morning we headed out, and there was one of those morning moons you see every now and then. But HUGE as fark compared to other times I've seen it! And I was like "dude, it's farking Melancholia!". Eerie stuff!


You have to applaud his timing. If I recall properly, that film came out at the height of the Nibiru scare. I think I read somewhere that he felt the whole Planet X thing was plausible. Either way, really good casting and carry out. I'd probably watch it again.
 
2014-03-14 04:55:58 PM  

Mell of a Hess: And ...

[cdn.unleashthefanboy.com image 550x296]

Put me on the stick, (buttons).  I got it covered.

Shoot rocks and run.


...and now I have to fire up MAME.

/It's like an earworm.
///But for video games.
 
2014-03-14 04:57:46 PM  
 
2014-03-14 05:08:15 PM  

cretinbob: The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47


What he said! Asteroid nomenclature rules how do they work?
 
2014-03-14 05:16:35 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: dittybopper: Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?

Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.

Dammit!  Where were you 20 years ago?  I was wondering why I'm facing 40 and still have to keep hookers locked in my basement.


I played it smart I got velvet ropes outside my place so the ladies can form an orderly line and a take a number machine by my bed. Plus I plan on drinking many red bull and viagras with a cialis and beer chaser.
 
2014-03-14 05:18:04 PM  

ashinmytomatoes: durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!

Or if it just hit the moon and knocked it a bit closer, that could cause trouble as well.

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 246x346]


Not familiar with the book, but if the cover art is suppose to represent how close the moon had been "knocked", it would be more than "a bit closer".  Things would be so much fun on earth.  I could foresee major problems.
 
2014-03-14 05:55:58 PM  

Whatthefark: That isn't an asteroid. It's the first of many radioactive bombs from Gamilon.

[i.imgur.com image 600x412]


Better start cranking up the wave motion gun then.  Any deep sea divers near Japan, you need to work on locating the Yamato.
 
2014-03-14 06:19:44 PM  
Have these "scientists" "warning" of an asteroid strike ever heard of a form of communication known as the mass media, or do they just stick to obscure blogs to post their dire warnings?
 
2014-03-14 06:31:49 PM  
An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

imageshack.com
 
2014-03-14 06:31:57 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 06:45:04 PM  

sid244: Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.



Oh, I dunno.
 
2014-03-14 06:45:37 PM  
The link is based on a 2003 article.

Current status: "In Impact Risk Page for 2003 QQ47, the entry for the year 2014 has now disappeared "
 
2014-03-14 06:50:16 PM  
I want to listen to Radiohead while on heroin!
 
2014-03-14 07:25:18 PM  

poonesfarm: An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

[imageshack.com image 640x404]


Farking priceless.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 07:42:23 PM  
A giant asteroid? Better stock up on Preparation H.
 
2014-03-14 07:54:11 PM  

SpacePirate: poonesfarm: An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

[imageshack.com image 640x404]

Farking priceless.

[img.fark.net image 499x280]


Disney was right, it's a small world after all.
 
2014-03-14 07:54:35 PM  

rebelyell2006: A giant asteroid? Better stock up on Preparation H.


What good is a tractor beam gonna do us?  Smash us harder?!
 
2014-03-14 08:02:57 PM  

Hector Remarkable: Head for the Mother Ship

A fiery dragon will cross the sky
six times before the earth shall die.
Mankind will tremble and frightened be
for the six heralds in this prophecy.

For seven days and seven nights
man will watch this awesome sight.
The tides will rise beyond their ken.
To bite away the shores and then
the mountains will begin to roar
and earthquakes split the plain to shore.

And flooding waters rushing in,
will flood the lands with such a din
that mankind cowers in muddy fen
and snarls about his fellow men.

He bares his teeth and fights and kills
and secrets food in secret hill
and ugly in his fear, he lies
to kill marauders, thieves and spies.

Man flees in terror from the floods
and kills, and rapes and lies in blood
and spilling blood by mankind's hand
will stain and bitter many lands.

And when the dragon's tail is gone
man forgets and smiles and carries on.
To apply himself - too late, too late
for mankind has earned deserved fate.

His masked smile, his false grandeur,
will serve the gods their anger stir
and they will send the dragon back
to light the sky - his tail will crack.
Upon the earth and rend the earth
and man shall flee, king, lord and serf.

But slowly they are routed out
to seek diminishing water spout
and men will die of thirst before
the oceans rise to mount to the shore.
And lands will crack and rend anew
do you think it strange, it will come true.


weknowmemes.com
 
2014-03-14 08:31:29 PM  

Jim.Casy: No that doesn't work, I have a company lunch that afternoon. Asteroid, we're going to have to reschedule.


Yeeeaahhh....I'm going to need the asteroid to come in on Saturday.
 
2014-03-14 08:33:25 PM  

cirby: "But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!


Good thing Binky's got new shoes.
 
2014-03-14 10:09:26 PM  
images.spaceref.com
The asteroid has been given a classification - known as a "Torino hazard rating" of one - defining it as "an event meriting careful monitoring."
 
2014-03-14 10:44:14 PM  
The website appears to be oddly farked.
i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-15 12:21:10 AM  

Carn: Bermuda59: We need you all. Service guarantees citizenship

Would you like to know more?


danhairfield.files.wordpress.com yes.

timeentertainment.files.wordpress.com

yes.

img.fark.net

and ESPECIALLY if he's ONLY wearing the coat.  :P
 
2014-03-15 12:58:15 AM  
May be our best bet for a new enlightened age -among those .0001 percent that survive.
 
2014-03-15 04:13:43 AM  
Your odds of being struck by lightning within the next year are 1 in 500,000.

Goodnight, sleep tight.
 
2014-03-15 12:11:30 PM  
Live free of scientific literacy.
 
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