If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Oh, nothing. Just a giant asteroid that might hit us on March 21st   (livefreelivenatural.com) divider line 156
    More: Scary, Monetary Policy Committee, information center, Queen's University, Torino  
•       •       •

18353 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2014 at 1:29 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-14 02:52:18 PM

drop: I just love that kind of shiat.

"The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47 "

How do you think they name these things, numbnuts? :P


Haha, "No, it's newly discovered! You heard it here first! Tell your friends!"
cataclysmicimpactpanic.jpg
 
2014-03-14 02:58:21 PM

Jim.Casy: No that doesn't work, I have a company lunch that afternoon. Asteroid, we're going to have to reschedule.


The odds of winning the mega millions is like 1 in 280 million yet that happens several times a year.
 
2014-03-14 02:59:16 PM

Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.


Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.
 
2014-03-14 02:59:48 PM

SpacePirate: drop: I just love that kind of shiat.

"The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47 "

How do you think they name these things, numbnuts? :P

Haha, "No, it's newly discovered! You heard it here first! Tell your friends!"
cataclysmicimpactpanic.jpg


It's closest approach is also on March 26 (not 21).  It'll be just under 50 times as far away as the moon.

But I know who *I* believe and it's *not* those damn scientists, always lyin, gettin me pissed.
 
2014-03-14 03:00:13 PM

dittybopper: OtherLittleGuy: Mugato: Donnchadha: ust FYI .... the asteroid was determined not to be any threat at all back in 2003 shortly after initial discovery.

So we don't have to wake up Bruce Willis? He's napping now.

I still want to stuff Animal Crackers down Liv Tyler's pants.

I'd spend a night in her Casablanca.

I'd duck her soup.

She can coco my nuts.


I would drill into her asteroid
 
2014-03-14 03:00:26 PM

Por que tan serioso: Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.

Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.


Or the teacher who taught you how to spell grammar?
 
2014-03-14 03:01:34 PM
The end of the world?  Alright!  I'm going streaking, who's coming with me!?
 
2014-03-14 03:06:22 PM
Mouse over the link.

"Livefreelivenatural.com".

Smells like bullschitt.

NGTRTFA.
 
2014-03-14 03:08:11 PM

durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!


LORDS OF LIGHT!

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 03:13:31 PM

Mugato: It's really irresponsible to report this sort of thing when they know damn well it's not going to hit us. It only serves to freak people out (well morons and fundies) but still.


Ah, c'mon, it brings a little excitement to an otherwise boring day.
 
2014-03-14 03:16:29 PM

drop: Por que tan serioso: Mell of a Hess: I hope the first thing it hits is they gut who built that website.

Or the teacher who taught you how to grammer.

Or the teacher who taught you how to spell grammar?


Ah, goddamn it.
 
2014-03-14 03:17:41 PM
So I hit the t instead of the y.  That's not a grammar problem.
 
2014-03-14 03:20:26 PM

Mell of a Hess: So I hit the t instead of the y.  That's not a grammar problem.


lolwut.com
 
2014-03-14 03:21:27 PM

Pincy: Good, just make sure that if it hits the US it hits the South.


But.. But.. I'm in the south :(
 
2014-03-14 03:26:24 PM
As if that website had much credibility to begin with, it's also a full-out Anti-Vaxxer site.
 
2014-03-14 03:45:32 PM
2/3 of a mile long isn't the correct unit of measure. It should be about 3 empire state buildings long.
 
2014-03-14 03:48:25 PM
Where is Harold Camping when we really need him?
 
2014-03-14 03:56:23 PM

Nana's Vibrator: dittybopper: Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?

Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.

Dammit!  Where were you 20 years ago?  I was wondering why I'm facing 40 and still have to keep hookers locked in my basement.


Twenty years ago?  Engaged to be married.
 
2014-03-14 04:01:05 PM
Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
 
2014-03-14 04:02:35 PM

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


Yep...the odds of winning the Power Ball is 1 in 175,000,000. So basically I am 175 x more likely to be incinerated by a giant meteor than winning the lottery, thus proving my theory lottery ticket buyers are suckers.
 
2014-03-14 04:10:57 PM
the odds of this actually happening are just astronomical.
 
2014-03-14 04:15:06 PM

kling_klang_bed: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[media.giphy.com image 500x212]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x189]


Excellent farking film. Though, a wee depressing.
 
2014-03-14 04:25:51 PM

Wook: Article:
"But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "


Never tell me the odds
 
2014-03-14 04:28:44 PM

phenn: kling_klang_bed: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[media.giphy.com image 500x212]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 450x189]

Excellent farking film. Though, a wee depressing.


Yeah, but then again that's Lars Van Trier for ya! Never watch any of his films expecting anything short of excellent but absolutely devoid of all hope.
I remember when me and my friend watched it, and the next morning we headed out, and there was one of those morning moons you see every now and then. But HUGE as fark compared to other times I've seen it! And I was like "dude, it's farking Melancholia!". Eerie stuff!
 
2014-03-14 04:30:23 PM

The Flexecutioner: the odds of this actually happening are just astronomical.



i see what you did there.

love it when people use astronomical when they mean minuscule.
 
2014-03-14 04:31:07 PM
19 million km from Earth is not an impact
 
2014-03-14 04:35:47 PM
The number of close calls, cosmically speaking, when put into proportion with our very short existence on earth, means that in the grand scope of things we're already dead.

So, something, something, tgif party
 
2014-03-14 04:39:43 PM
Can I do anything about it?
No?

Okay, back to fapping.
 
2014-03-14 04:49:27 PM
"There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or a giant asteroid that's about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!"

"Oh.....so I shouldn't have told them then. Was I not supposed to do that?"

"............"
 
2014-03-14 04:50:42 PM

durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!


Or if it just hit the moon and knocked it a bit closer, that could cause trouble as well.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-03-14 04:54:09 PM

kling_klang_bed: Yeah, but then again that's Lars Van Trier for ya! Never watch any of his films expecting anything short of excellent but absolutely devoid of all hope.
I remember when me and my friend watched it, and the next morning we headed out, and there was one of those morning moons you see every now and then. But HUGE as fark compared to other times I've seen it! And I was like "dude, it's farking Melancholia!". Eerie stuff!


You have to applaud his timing. If I recall properly, that film came out at the height of the Nibiru scare. I think I read somewhere that he felt the whole Planet X thing was plausible. Either way, really good casting and carry out. I'd probably watch it again.
 
2014-03-14 04:55:58 PM

Mell of a Hess: And ...

[cdn.unleashthefanboy.com image 550x296]

Put me on the stick, (buttons).  I got it covered.

Shoot rocks and run.


...and now I have to fire up MAME.

/It's like an earworm.
///But for video games.
 
2014-03-14 04:57:46 PM
 
2014-03-14 05:08:15 PM

cretinbob: The newly-discovered asteroid, known as 2003 QQ47
 


What he said! Asteroid nomenclature rules how do they work?
 
2014-03-14 05:16:35 PM

Nana's Vibrator: dittybopper: Nana's Vibrator: oK, line it up ladies.  This is your last chance to have crazy sex with me.  And as the structural wheels of society crumble around us leading to our chaotic demise, our sex will only get crazier.  Who's first?

Now, see, that's how you *DON'T* advertise, because you're saying the really good stuff is going to come later, so that gives them incentive to wait.

If you were a salesman, and you were selling widgets, would you tell your customers that a new and improved widget was due to be released soon?  Of course not, because that gives them a reason to not buy a widget *TODAY*.

That's exactly what you are doing, convincing the ladies to postpone the crazy sex because it'll be better later.

Dammit!  Where were you 20 years ago?  I was wondering why I'm facing 40 and still have to keep hookers locked in my basement.


I played it smart I got velvet ropes outside my place so the ladies can form an orderly line and a take a number machine by my bed. Plus I plan on drinking many red bull and viagras with a cialis and beer chaser.
 
2014-03-14 05:18:04 PM

ashinmytomatoes: durbnpoisn: Slaves2Darkness: ecmoRandomNumbers: Let me guess, it's going to "just miss us" at a distance of like 6 times the distance of the Moon.

*yawn*

No it is going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. I call dibs on the Sorceress.

Consider what would happen if it HIT the moon.  If it didn't cause any damage, it would look pretty frikkin' awesome!  But if it broke the moon apart, we would be so completely screwed!

Or if it just hit the moon and knocked it a bit closer, that could cause trouble as well.

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 246x346]


Not familiar with the book, but if the cover art is suppose to represent how close the moon had been "knocked", it would be more than "a bit closer".  Things would be so much fun on earth.  I could foresee major problems.
 
2014-03-14 05:55:58 PM

Whatthefark: That isn't an asteroid. It's the first of many radioactive bombs from Gamilon.

[i.imgur.com image 600x412]


Better start cranking up the wave motion gun then.  Any deep sea divers near Japan, you need to work on locating the Yamato.
 
2014-03-14 06:19:44 PM
Have these "scientists" "warning" of an asteroid strike ever heard of a form of communication known as the mass media, or do they just stick to obscure blogs to post their dire warnings?
 
2014-03-14 06:31:49 PM
An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

imageshack.com
 
2014-03-14 06:31:57 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 06:45:04 PM

sid244: Yeah right, a married man getting laid 7 strait days.  Doubt it.  Probably has a better chance winning the lottery AND the asteroid hitting Earth.



Oh, I dunno.
 
2014-03-14 06:45:37 PM
The link is based on a 2003 article.

Current status: "In Impact Risk Page for 2003 QQ47, the entry for the year 2014 has now disappeared "
 
2014-03-14 06:50:16 PM
I want to listen to Radiohead while on heroin!
 
2014-03-14 07:25:18 PM

poonesfarm: An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

[imageshack.com image 640x404]


Farking priceless.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 07:42:23 PM
A giant asteroid? Better stock up on Preparation H.
 
2014-03-14 07:54:11 PM

SpacePirate: poonesfarm: An asteroid around two-thirds of a mile wide (1.2km) could hit the earth on March 21, 2014

[imageshack.com image 640x404]

Farking priceless.

[img.fark.net image 499x280]


Disney was right, it's a small world after all.
 
2014-03-14 07:54:35 PM

rebelyell2006: A giant asteroid? Better stock up on Preparation H.


What good is a tractor beam gonna do us?  Smash us harder?!
 
2014-03-14 08:02:57 PM

Hector Remarkable: Head for the Mother Ship

A fiery dragon will cross the sky
six times before the earth shall die.
Mankind will tremble and frightened be
for the six heralds in this prophecy.

For seven days and seven nights
man will watch this awesome sight.
The tides will rise beyond their ken.
To bite away the shores and then
the mountains will begin to roar
and earthquakes split the plain to shore.

And flooding waters rushing in,
will flood the lands with such a din
that mankind cowers in muddy fen
and snarls about his fellow men.

He bares his teeth and fights and kills
and secrets food in secret hill
and ugly in his fear, he lies
to kill marauders, thieves and spies.

Man flees in terror from the floods
and kills, and rapes and lies in blood
and spilling blood by mankind's hand
will stain and bitter many lands.

And when the dragon's tail is gone
man forgets and smiles and carries on.
To apply himself - too late, too late
for mankind has earned deserved fate.

His masked smile, his false grandeur,
will serve the gods their anger stir
and they will send the dragon back
to light the sky - his tail will crack.
Upon the earth and rend the earth
and man shall flee, king, lord and serf.

But slowly they are routed out
to seek diminishing water spout
and men will die of thirst before
the oceans rise to mount to the shore.
And lands will crack and rend anew
do you think it strange, it will come true.


weknowmemes.com
 
2014-03-14 08:31:29 PM

Jim.Casy: No that doesn't work, I have a company lunch that afternoon. Asteroid, we're going to have to reschedule.


Yeeeaahhh....I'm going to need the asteroid to come in on Saturday.
 
2014-03-14 08:33:25 PM

cirby: "But they say the probability of the asteroid hitting Earth is just 1 in 909,000 and the risk of impact is likely to decrease as they collect more information. "

Thank goodness it's not one in a million, or we'd be doomed for sure!


Good thing Binky's got new shoes.
 
Displayed 50 of 156 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report