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(Metro)   Anyone see this "distressed" man's penis on the A66 carriageway? The police need some help to make him less distressed   (metro.co.uk) divider line 35
    More: Weird, Cleveland Police, emergency calls, penis removal  
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3391 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2014 at 9:36 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-13 09:03:18 PM
Yikes!

I guess the Scary tag was off wimpering in the corner somewhere.
 
2014-03-13 09:16:57 PM
Did I happen to mention I'm impressed?
 
2014-03-13 09:41:00 PM
Dude, you missed the chance to have the filter change "Boobies" to Weiners!
 
2014-03-13 09:42:07 PM
If he's only "distressed" then I admire his ability to keep his shiat together when his damn penis is out on the side of the road somewhere.
 
2014-03-13 09:44:05 PM
I've heard of getting cut off in traffic, but this is ridiculous.
 
2014-03-13 09:44:10 PM
Never sleep with a woman named "Lorena".
 
2014-03-13 09:46:26 PM
Did they check Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place?
 
2014-03-13 09:49:17 PM

fusillade762: Did I happen to mention I'm impressed?


Well! You can just kiss off into the air.
 
2014-03-13 09:49:49 PM

Boo_Guy: If he's only "distressed" then I admire his ability to keep his shiat together when his damn penis is out on the side of the road somewhere.


Yeah, I know the British like to downplay the seriousness of things but distressed seems far to mild a term for the situation.
 
2014-03-13 09:50:35 PM

b0rg9: Did they check Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place?


I bought it off of some guy trying to sell it for $22... But I talked him down to $17....

/came here for this
//carry on
 
2014-03-13 09:51:32 PM
Distress trifecta in play.
 
2014-03-13 09:54:09 PM
I'm thinking:

NOPE.

(note period)
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-03-13 09:54:31 PM

Pichu0102: Distress trifecta in play.


There was the chance for a Louie Gohmert trifecta yesterday, or the day before.  It wasn't realized, though.
 
2014-03-13 09:54:45 PM

Boo_Guy: If he's only "distressed" then I admire his ability to keep his shiat together when his damn penis is out on the side of the road somewhere.


Maybe it's detachable.
 
2014-03-13 09:56:32 PM
Well, do they just cut the penis off the other guy and donate it to the other man?  I think that should be SOP.
 
2014-03-13 10:05:47 PM
www.spin.com
 
2014-03-13 10:07:34 PM

CygnusDarius: Boo_Guy: If he's only "distressed" then I admire his ability to keep his shiat together when his damn penis is out on the side of the road somewhere.

Maybe it's detachable.


He'll probably find it for sale on the street in a few days then.
 
2014-03-13 10:12:40 PM
www.lolhome.com

static.someecards.com

2.bp.blogspot.com

whatculture.com
 
2014-03-13 10:16:42 PM

kd8our: Well, do they just cut the penis off the other guy and donate it to the other man?  I think that should be SOP.


If it were me, I would demand a shiny new mechano-penis.
 
2014-03-13 10:25:22 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-13 10:27:51 PM
Suspect

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-13 10:30:37 PM
Carriageway.

That's all.
 
2014-03-13 10:35:11 PM
The status of the penis is also unclear.
 
2014-03-13 10:35:39 PM

Arkanaut: kd8our: Well, do they just cut the penis off the other guy and donate it to the other man?  I think that should be SOP.

If it were me, I would demand a shiny new mechano-penis.


Like Tetsuo The Iron Man?

1.bp.blogspot.com

img.fark.net

www.cyberpunkreview.com
 
2014-03-13 10:41:24 PM
Well, did they find it?
 
2014-03-13 10:55:56 PM

kling_klang_bed: Arkanaut: kd8our: Well, do they just cut the penis off the other guy and donate it to the other man?  I think that should be SOP.

If it were me, I would demand a shiny new mechano-penis.

Like Tetsuo The Iron Man?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 320x226]

[img.fark.net image 259x194]

[www.cyberpunkreview.com image 600x450]


No, not a mechano murder-penis.  I'll bet you were probably going to charge me extra for the murder features too,
 
2014-03-13 11:15:27 PM

kd8our: Well, do they just cut the penis off the other guy and donate it to the other man?  I think that should be SOP.


Wholeheartedly agree. A private eye for a private eye!
 
2014-03-13 11:22:08 PM
It's the latest style among hipsters. Bobb it.
 
2014-03-13 11:23:54 PM

cretinbob: [www.spin.com image 620x413]


Came for this.  Left satisfied.
 
2014-03-13 11:42:24 PM
 . . . had wounds to his groin area.

We're all adults here (some of you must be). Can't we just say that  . . .

His wee-wee has a boo-boo?

His willie's been whacked?

Someone was meaner to his peener?

His pud's in the mud?

His dick got sick?

His penis will never again come between us?
 
2014-03-13 11:42:51 PM
Lorena Bobbitt moved to England?
 
2014-03-13 11:45:57 PM
He knocked his dick in the dirt and then he kissed it where it hurt
 
2014-03-13 11:48:21 PM
Found at the scene.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-13 11:51:47 PM
FTFA: A Cleveland Police spokesman said: 'Police can confirm that the man found this morning on the A66 had wounds to his groin area.


I've been to Cleveland and ain't nobody calling any stretch of road there a "carriageway".


/Oh there is a Cleveland in the UK?
//Lucky them.
 
2014-03-13 11:53:34 PM

Hacker_X: Boo_Guy: If he's only "distressed" then I admire his ability to keep his shiat together when his damn penis is out on the side of the road somewhere.

Yeah, I know the British like to downplay the seriousness of things but distressed seems far to mild a term for the situation.


There's a bunch of people with stiff upper lips searching for a man's limp little dick.
 
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