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(CBS Chicago)   Ducks are dying because Lake Michigan is frozen and they can't eat. If only there was something they could do to go get food in the winter   (chicago.cbslocal.com) divider line 71
    More: Asinine, Lake Michigan, Field Museum, Ducks, tags, ice cuts, winter  
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4780 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2014 at 11:11 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-13 06:50:19 PM
Albuquerque is nice this time of year.

/showing off
/can spell Albuquerque
 
2014-03-13 06:52:05 PM
AFLAC?
 
2014-03-13 06:54:31 PM
Don't feed the wildlife! Seriously it's not a good thing.
 
2014-03-13 07:02:18 PM
Good. Ducks are rapist bastards with weird dicks.
 
2014-03-13 07:55:01 PM
Circle of life.  Some things will benefit from the extended ice cover and the lake levels will be up from 1-2 feet from last year...that's pretty significant...not to mention we'll experience a cooler summer from a late thaw.
 
2014-03-13 08:03:57 PM
I always wondered where the ducks go in the winter. I asked some people about it but they got sore or something. Don't ever tell anybody anything.
 
2014-03-13 08:19:30 PM

Poot beer: Albuquerque is nice this time of year.

/showing off
/can spell Albuquerque


Yes, but you should have taken that left there.
 
2014-03-13 08:32:01 PM

Poot beer: Albuquerque is nice this time of year.

/showing off
/can spell Albuquerque


A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
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QUERQUEEEE!!! (QUERQUEEEE!!!!)
 
2014-03-13 08:55:41 PM
Why don't they just buy some food?
 
2014-03-13 09:33:58 PM
Turn to cannibalism?
 
2014-03-13 09:37:44 PM
They could always just go to Subway.
 
2014-03-13 10:00:27 PM

Confabulat: I always wondered where the ducks go in the winter. I asked some people about it but they got sore or something. Don't ever tell anybody anything.


Nicely done... beat me to it.
 
2014-03-13 10:48:23 PM
You ever seen a duck's dick? Freaky shiat, man.

If I were an enterprising duck, I'd sell tickets to see my duck dick. They I'd use the proceeds to buy some food and possibly rent a venue. I'd hire some more ducks who would show off their duck ducks. I'd be the duck dick pimp.
 
2014-03-13 10:49:18 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: duck dick pimp


Now I have a name for my band.
 
2014-03-13 11:15:06 PM
The dozens found dead so far are likely just the tip of it.

OMG, a deadduckberg!
 
2014-03-13 11:16:55 PM
Let them die so the ones that are left remember to migrate next year.
 
2014-03-13 11:17:13 PM
For a second I thought a frozen lake was causing penises to die.
 
2014-03-13 11:19:26 PM

LordOfThePings: The dozens found dead so far are likely just the tip of it.

OMG, a deadduckberg!


Here in, deadduckberg?

Woo-hoo?
 
2014-03-13 11:20:02 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-13 11:22:31 PM
Waterfowl used to migrate in the winter, this is why. But our golf courses that are green all year round, our fields with grain leavings, and our above average winter temps for the past few decades has kept a permanent resident group of waterfowl around all year round. This is why it's a bad idea to not listen to the urges programmed into your being for millennia that tell you to make way for cold.

I remember as a kid you very rarely saw ducks/geese during the winter. You'd always see giant flocks of them coming and going in the spring and fall, but very few stayed year round. Now, I see more year round than I do migrating. It's weird.
 
2014-03-13 11:22:33 PM

skinink: For a second I thought a frozen lake was causing penises to die.


My fiance said the same thing when I showed her this map:

www.glerl.noaa.gov

Then I showed her how hard that would be
 
2014-03-13 11:24:06 PM
f0.bcbits.com
 
2014-03-13 11:25:12 PM

slayer199: Some things will benefit from the extended ice cover and the lake levels will be up from 1-2 feet from last yea


Lake levels won't be improved this year.

As quickly as I can explain for those who thought wrongly as I did: It's not about the ice covering the water. It's that a strong ice cover means the water will be cooler come summer. Cooler water in the summer/late fall means less evaporation. But that effect isn't really prominent until Fall 2014. (which  means it doesn't show up until 2015)

http://www.glerl.noaa.gov/pubs/brochures/lakelevels/lakelevels.pdf

Maybe this is common knowledge, but I always thought it was about ice cover creating a barrier and preventing water from being evaporated into the air (during the winter). Winter has little to do with it so to speak.
 
2014-03-13 11:25:38 PM
We've got blackbirds and crows around here in the fall and through the winter into spring when the human activity is high.  Sometimes they fight.  That's pretty neat to watch.  The problem is, they seem to eat out of the dumpsters, spread the trash all around, and crap on all our cars.

/we call them "sky rats"
 
2014-03-13 11:26:10 PM
I like ducks. Its the geese that I can't stand. farkin' donkey birds from hell.
 
2014-03-13 11:26:17 PM
I hope the clean up efforts aren't coming out of tax payers' pockets.  The government should be sending the surviving ducks a bill for this.
 
2014-03-13 11:26:26 PM
daredevilmusicproduction.com
/might have a suggestion
 
2014-03-13 11:29:15 PM

alwaysjaded: They could always just go to Subway.


Don't bother ringing it up; it's for a duck...
 
2014-03-13 11:31:35 PM
Duck populations are doing better than ever.  Up 33% over longtime average last year.  And those ducks migrate.  It's actually kind of interesting how controlled it is, and how good of a balance is maintained via wrt
And reservations and hunting.  At one point (not sure if still true) Ducks Unlimited (the hunting group) was responsible for a large percentage of of preserved land.  They breed up yonder in the cold parts and Canada, then fly down here.

/the more you know
 
2014-03-13 11:32:25 PM

CruJones: Duck populations are doing better than ever.  Up 33% over longtime average last year.  And those ducks migrate.  It's actually kind of interesting how controlled it is, and how good of a balance is maintained via wrt
And reservations and hunting.  At one point (not sure if still true) Ducks Unlimited (the hunting group) was responsible for a large percentage of of preserved land.  They breed up yonder in the cold parts and Canada, then fly down here.

/the more you know


Damn tablet. Wetland preservations
 
2014-03-13 11:32:54 PM

HAMMERTOE: alwaysjaded: They could always just go to Subway.

Don't bother ringing it up; it's for a duck...


Yeah, just put it on his bill.
 
2014-03-13 11:33:19 PM
"I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties. "
 
2014-03-13 11:34:09 PM
that's some nice grammar there subby. does we not speak english no moar?
 
2014-03-13 11:34:57 PM

Poot beer: AverageAmericanGuy: duck dick pimp

Now I have a name for my band.


I still prefer "Sandy Duncans Eye"
 
2014-03-13 11:41:28 PM

gnosis301: Good. Ducks are rapist bastards with weird dicks.


You, my friend, will thoroughly enjoy this video!  I give you: Isabella Rossellini (whose name I love to say) in Green Porno, "Seduce Me"   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBDNirNI2Iw
 
2014-03-13 11:42:36 PM

CruJones: CruJones: Duck populations are doing better than ever.  Up 33% over longtime average last year.  And those ducks migrate.  It's actually kind of interesting how controlled it is, and how good of a balance is maintained via wrt
And reservations and hunting.  At one point (not sure if still true) Ducks Unlimited (the hunting group) was responsible for a large percentage of of preserved land.  They breed up yonder in the cold parts and Canada, then fly down here.

/the more you know

Damn tablet. Wetland preservations


It might help the whole process if the geese would make reservations.
 
2014-03-13 11:49:28 PM
Ever had duck sausage?
 
2014-03-13 11:51:53 PM
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-03-13 11:52:29 PM
gnosis301: Good. Ducks are Delicious rapist bastards with weird dicks.
 
2014-03-13 11:53:28 PM
Believe it or not, there are dozens, if not hundreds of different species of ducks.  Not all of them migrate.  Especially the ornamental duck species that golf courses and private communities love to put in their ponds, which are usually non-migratory ducks that have evolved to live in warm climates.
 
2014-03-13 11:58:10 PM
Dead duckies aint much fun
They dont quack and they dont run
They aint crappin everywhere
They aint Farking in mid-air
Dead duckies aint much fun
 
2014-03-14 12:01:50 AM

Poowaddins: our above average winter temps for the past few decades


Um no. Last decade, singular.

70s: cold.
80s: colder.
90s: cold.
00s: mild.

Water foul stuck around all winter as far back as I can remember. Although I did think the ones that were here in the summer went south and were replaced by birds from further north. There would be suspicious gaps in bird population as the weather got colder.
 
2014-03-14 12:08:00 AM
Host: And the answer is... "Climate change"Contestant: "What are other things that act like a saloon door?"
 
2014-03-14 12:10:45 AM
What's the punchline to the headline?

Are the ducks supposed to go to the park and beg?

Go ask Rahm the Godfather?
 
2014-03-14 12:10:52 AM
They're always welcome to live on foie gras farms!

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-14 12:11:45 AM

gnosis301: Good. Ducks are rapist bastards with weird dicks.


They probably feel the same way about us.

www.mobygames.com
 
2014-03-14 12:17:28 AM

reubendaley: [daredevilmusicproduction.com image 225x225]
/might have a suggestion


GO WHERE THE FARKNG FOOD IS!
 
2014-03-14 12:18:46 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: You ever seen a duck's dick? Freaky shiat, man.

If I were an enterprising duck, I'd sell tickets to see my duck dick. They I'd use the proceeds to buy some food and possibly rent a venue. I'd hire some more ducks who would show off their duck ducks. I'd be the duck dick pimp.


www.washingtoncitypaper.com
 
2014-03-14 12:24:31 AM
Spent last winter just outside Cleveland, that's another story, and the duck issue is a non issue. It's the damn geese that are a problem. Those farkin things need to go away. When they get together it's a dirty farkin poop fest. Farkin poop and squawkin out the ying yang. They're loud obnoxious bastards and they need to go away and die.

/ducks are ok
//geese suck
///Cleveland is like a goose
 
2014-03-14 12:31:35 AM

upndn: Spent last winter just outside Cleveland, that's another story, and the duck issue is a non issue. It's the damn geese that are a problem. Those farkin things need to go away. When they get together it's a dirty farkin poop fest. Farkin poop and squawkin out the ying yang. They're loud obnoxious bastards and they need to go away and die.

/ducks are ok
//geese suck
///Cleveland is like a goose


Truer words were never spoken.
 
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