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(Slate)   Dear Prudence, we took in a foreign exchange student, and now my hubby is farking her after school. Should I turn him into the police or ask if he wants a three-way with me and Lolita?   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, foreign exchange students, emotional intimacy, physical relationship  
•       •       •

25441 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2014 at 1:38 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-13 04:07:31 PM  

d23: GIS, Croatian exchange student

[bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com image 620x413]


[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 240x167]


My GIS for "French exchange student" was pretty lame.  This is the best I got...

www.catholiccentral.net
 
2014-03-13 04:08:02 PM  

bughunter: whosits_112: scottydoesntknow: FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.

Whaaa?!

/Fist of angry god

Agreed!

[img.fark.net image 200x134]
Like a Harpoon missile hitting a canoe


You'd be overpriced by a defense contractor, then fail to lock on because she didn't have a big enough radar cross-section?

Hot!

/kidding
 
2014-03-13 04:11:07 PM  
I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!
 
2014-03-13 04:13:39 PM  

Facetious Much: I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!


I'm going with the majority of Farkers in saying the article is..

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-13 04:14:11 PM  

machoprogrammer: Token Anarchist: FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.

So you're doxxing a possible underage victim of sexual abuse so random people on the internet can masturbate to them?

You act like that is her real photo. There is no way in hell he could find her photo since she likely doesn't even exist


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-13 04:14:32 PM  

Facetious Much: I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!


It's grounds for a divorce, sure. Sexual abuse is a much more dubious claim.
 
2014-03-13 04:14:52 PM  

whosits_112: Alfonse Gregory: bughunter: whosits_112: scottydoesntknow: FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.

Whaaa?!

/Fist of angry god

Agreed!

[img.fark.net image 200x134]
Like a Harpoon missile hitting a canoe

Look folks. I know I haven't been posting long,  but I've lurked for a while now. How can you NOT see that FarkinBastard is trolling you? There are no names given in the column, even if it was a real story, which it isn't. So there's zero chance that pic is the student in the story.

THEN you fall for the studman bait?

/Fark, I am disappoint.

Hey! Any excuse to talk about fapping is fine by me, trolling or not! I feel no shame in falling for the bait.


This.  Some of us are trollwhores... on certain topics anyway.
 
2014-03-13 04:15:28 PM  
"In the short run, this girl needs to get out of your house, and in the long run your husband needs to get out of the teaching profession, and I think you need to get out of this marriage."
-=-


How about taking a short cut and get the hell out of the marriage so your ex-husband can further foster this relationship into a marriage?

/This trolling stuff? Yeah, fun.
/Exchange student? What did they exchange her for? Their daughter? Have you checked to see if she isn't in love too?
/Ah, the random thoughts...
 
2014-03-13 04:15:49 PM  

Facetious Much: I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!


I'm glad you're not the dictator of this country.
 
2014-03-13 04:22:50 PM  

blatz514: d23: GIS, Croatian exchange student

[bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com image 620x413]


[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 240x167]

My GIS for "French exchange student" was pretty lame.  This is the best I got...

[www.catholiccentral.net image 850x637]


Probably a bad angle. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, though...
 
2014-03-13 04:29:53 PM  

Facetious Much: I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!


Oh I'm not defending that side of things, I just don't care. That's a private personal matter between him and his wife and anyone else directly involved.

All I'm defending is that it's not child rape or whatever similar heinous crime some want to call it.
 
2014-03-13 04:34:08 PM  

zimbomba63: Anyway, where's the "I don't see a problem here" gang, that shows up when it's a female teacher and a 16 year old guy. Oh yeah, I forgot, the girl is suffering from emotional and psychological trauma, that no man will ever know. Well, aren't they always


I think the double standard is indicative of the fact that we, as a society, ignore the emotional needs and traumas of teenage boys who are victims of sexual assault, rather than "care too much" (?) about teenage girls who are the victims of sexual assault. Also note that even if the age difference wasn't problematic, the power difference is. That is why universities don't allow sexual relationships between professors and grad students. There is way too much "grey zone" about giving consent to someone who gives you grades, reference letters, an academic reputation, etc. etc.

But if you would like to be completely unsympathetic to anyone's suffering, confusion, self-loathing, self-blaming and general sadness (except, of course, your own), you have that right. I'm kinda judging you right now, but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you.

There is lots of evidence, that, at least in our culture where adolescents are not considered adults, adolescents aren't able to give informed consent. Biochemically, they are kinda  little drunks. You can choose to believe that our culture "coddles" teenagers who should be working in a coal mine, and that somehow this coddling changes brain chemistry (ie that a medieval teenager would have a much more stable, "adult" brain chemistry, allowing for more impulse control, long-term thinking, self-confidence, etc.). It seems that there aren't a lot of studies on this but I'd be very interested to see any results.
 
2014-03-13 04:54:15 PM  

blatz514: I'm going with the majority of Farkers in saying the article is.. [fake]


I assume that there are some real letters published by Dear Prudence, but anything linked to by Fark will not be in that category, and hence I'll never see it.
 
2014-03-13 04:58:23 PM  
Well, lady, here's your future in a nutshell:

img.fark.net

Be prepared for some savage vengeance coming from yourself, Mia Farrow style!
 
2014-03-13 04:59:12 PM  
No.  If you are a father hosting an exchange student you shouldn't be teller her how much you love her.  Sorry guys.  Totally creepy and you just shouldn't.  You can be friendly and supportive, help them any way you can, or even drive them around.  But you shouldn't be treating her like your new little daughter because she isn't.  And she doesn't see you that way either.  This is grooming.
 
2014-03-13 05:01:32 PM  
Why are people comparing telling their own children they love them with telling an exchange student they love them? Are you trolling or are you serious?
 
2014-03-13 05:02:44 PM  

T-Boy: No.  If you are a father hosting an exchange student you shouldn't be teller her how much you love her.  Sorry guys.  Totally creepy and you just shouldn't.  You can be friendly and supportive, help them any way you can, or even drive them around.  But you shouldn't be treating her like your new little daughter because she isn't.  And she doesn't see you that way either.  This is grooming.


This.

Agreed.
 
2014-03-13 05:15:01 PM  

Trance354: no physical proof?  Nothing on the illicit phone snooping that wasn't said out loud, in front of you, no less?  No strange new habits?  Perhaps the husband is the spouse in the home who speaks the language from the home country of the student?  Maybe the husband always wanted a daughter and is making this the best experience he can for the young woman and himself?

This sounds a lot like myself and my "little sister."  I love my little sister.  She and I met at work many years ago and became friends.  We became close.  Really close.  There is a 14 year difference in our ages, but she brought up sex one night when she was sleeping over(usually flipped a coin for the sofa).  I looked her dead in the eye and told her the truth: I loved her dearly, and despite her confessed lack of suitable partners for no-strings sex, I valued our friendship too highly to risk it for simple sexual gratification.

"Awwww, I have the best big brother in the world..."
"I love you, too, little sister."

/I'd step in front of a bullet for her
//or just shoot the guy holding the gun, then both of us get to keep breathing


Sounds like me and my "little sister" but we started dating, over a year now. Pretty much the same as you, but we had a 10 year age difference. I met her when she was 14 and I was 24, I worked with her brother and treated her like my sister. I never knew she had a big crush on me, I always figured her brother had a thing for me though. At her 21st birthday I was there holding her hair as she puked her guts up and made sure she got to bed unmolested. I'm 39 now she is 29 and a little over a year ago she came at me with how she felt, it was odd at first but it has probably been the best relationship Ive ever been in.
 
2014-03-13 05:20:57 PM  

FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.


Wow, you must be around some burning hot women to rate that a 6.
 
2014-03-13 05:27:58 PM  

LoneWolf343: FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.

Wow, you must be around some burning hot women to rate that a 6.



i.minus.com
 
2014-03-13 05:28:57 PM  

T-Boy: But you shouldn't be treating her like your new little daughter because she isn't.


Tell me about it. Without the magic link of Midichlorians there's no way for people to form an inter-generational relationship that's anything like that seen by parent and child.

Maybe this guy is a complete a-hole trying to seduce a teenager; I have no insight other than the description in the article. But genetics are not the basis of relationships, and there's no reason these two couldn't form a perfectly reasonable relationship that looks just like the one you'd expect between a "real" father and daughter.
 
2014-03-13 05:30:14 PM  
Beaux chica weaux-weaux!
 
2014-03-13 05:36:55 PM  

Geoff Peterson: I like how people on FARK are defending this guy when he's obviously farking her.


I tend not to sweat the weird shiat that happens in fairy tales.
 
2014-03-13 05:38:53 PM  

profplump: T-Boy: But you shouldn't be treating her like your new little daughter because she isn't.

Tell me about it. Without the magic link of Midichlorians there's no way for people to form an inter-generational relationship that's anything like that seen by parent and child.

Maybe this guy is a complete a-hole trying to seduce a teenager; I have no insight other than the description in the article. But genetics are not the basis of relationships, and there's no reason these two couldn't form a perfectly reasonable relationship that looks just like the one you'd expect between a "real" father and daughter.


Not sure if you are serious.  But there is a huge difference between raising someone, in a parental capacity (genetically linked or not) fromn an infant state to meeting them at a near adult state of 16.  Maybe, over time, a parental relationship could form.  But the first and fastest relationship style formed between a nubile, sexually mature young female and a male is almost certainly not going to be a parental one.
 
2014-03-13 05:45:29 PM  
content6.flixster.com

Nooooooooooooo!!!
 
2014-03-13 05:47:34 PM  

viscountalpha: If its real:

Wife (and prudence) are vindictive coonts who should get a divorce either way. The age of consent varies depending on the country too. Still doesn't mean it's right but the girl might not comprehend that.

If its fake: well play sir, well played.


Sort of.  Kind of.

If it is real, the advice to see legal counsel is a good one. If the relationship has gotten physical, Hubby is bound to be on FARK at some point.
 
2014-03-13 05:50:26 PM  

Cynicism101: zimbomba63: Anyway, where's the "I don't see a problem here" gang, that shows up when it's a female teacher and a 16 year old guy. Oh yeah, I forgot, the girl is suffering from emotional and psychological trauma, that no man will ever know. Well, aren't they always

I think the double standard is indicative of the fact that we, as a society, ignore the emotional needs and traumas of teenage boys who are victims of sexual assault, rather than "care too much" (?) about teenage girls who are the victims of sexual assault. Also note that even if the age difference wasn't problematic, the power difference is. That is why universities don't allow sexual relationships between professors and grad students. There is way too much "grey zone" about giving consent to someone who gives you grades, reference letters, an academic reputation, etc. etc.

But if you would like to be completely unsympathetic to anyone's suffering, confusion, self-loathing, self-blaming and general sadness (except, of course, your own), you have that right. I'm kinda judging you right now, but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you.

There is lots of evidence, that, at least in our culture where adolescents are not considered adults, adolescents aren't able to give informed consent. Biochemically, they are kinda  little drunks. You can choose to believe that our culture "coddles" teenagers who should be working in a coal mine, and that somehow this coddling changes brain chemistry (ie that a medieval teenager would have a much more stable, "adult" brain chemistry, allowing for more impulse control, long-term thinking, self-confidence, etc.). It seems that there aren't a lot of studies on this but I'd be very interested to see any results.


I'm not unsympathetic to any person's suffering, confusion, etc., especially girls, being a step-father to two, now grown women and the father of 19 year old twin girls.  I am bothered that this "emotional and psychological damage" thing is a one way street.  Yeah, guys, when confronted with another guy, who's having emotional/psychological crisis, give him the old "man up" treatment, but, women do the same thing with the "You poor thing", etc. comments, which basically say the same thing.

As far as your judging me, judge away.  You don't know me, so your opinion, of course, really does mean little to me.

From what I've read the changes in the teenage brain are more that just a little too much of this biochemical or too little of that one, it involves structural change in the organization of their brains. I've heard one doctor state that teenagers should be considered clinically insane, based on what is happening to them.

Conversely, to condemn the older guys for finding a teenage girl sexually attractive  is wrong for just the same reasons.  Nature has imprinted on the male brain, that when you see a female of that certain age, with that proper waist to hips ratio, that is physically attractive (AKA symmetric), with an alarm that says:fark her, fark her, FARK HER!. What you do next is based on the functions of your higher brain, but, to claim that men should feel that there's something wrong with them for feeling this attraction is absolutely wrong.

Had the Lolita thing crop up with one of my oldest step-daughters friends. She was 17 and I was 42. Nice, huh! Believe me, my brain was in absolute turmoil and I handled it by doing my best Army "About Face" and basically getting away from the situation, ASAP.
 
2014-03-13 05:50:28 PM  

LindenFark: blatz514: I'm going with the majority of Farkers in saying the article is.. [fake]

I assume that there are some real letters published by Dear Prudence, but anything linked to by Fark will not be in that category, and hence I'll never see it.


I'm sure a lot of them are fake. That said, a lot of stuff that actually happens I'd assume was fake had I not seen it myself. There are some batshiat insane people out there. People who live in a reality that is clearly not the same as mine. It's possible that I'm the crazy one though.
 
2014-03-13 06:04:13 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: It doesn't say he's banging her.

"Dear Prudence, I'm getting old and saggy and I'm intensely jealous of the tight young thing living in my house. I violated my husband's privacy and found nothing that he hasn't said in front of me. Do I chop off his penis or murder the girl?"


It's not about you though. It's about this woman and her husband.
 
2014-03-13 06:10:26 PM  

addy2: HotWingConspiracy: It doesn't say he's banging her.

"Dear Prudence, I'm getting old and saggy and I'm intensely jealous of the tight young thing living in my house. I violated my husband's privacy and found nothing that he hasn't said in front of me. Do I chop off his penis or murder the girl?"

It's not about you though. It's about this woman and her husband.


Look lady, you're just going to have to accept your fate here and start giving up the butt to your husband.
 
2014-03-13 06:18:16 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: AverageAmericanGuy: Has your husband joined a gym recently? Has he bought new underwear?

I haven't personally purchased underwear for myself in probably 20 years or more. Guess I'm as faithful as they get.


You know once you start washing them they don't last nearly that long.
 
2014-03-13 06:23:57 PM  

tonguedepressor: Wasilla Hillbilly: AverageAmericanGuy: Has your husband joined a gym recently? Has he bought new underwear?

I haven't personally purchased underwear for myself in probably 20 years or more. Guess I'm as faithful as they get.

You know once you start washing them they don't last nearly that long.


As a bachelor, after a while, I stopped washing socks and underwear.  I'd wear 'em until they were ready to stand up on their own, and then just go buy new ones.
 
2014-03-13 06:26:17 PM  

you_idiot: The solution is simple. Get a 16 year old male exchange student.


Go on...
 
2014-03-13 06:38:05 PM  
How is this even a question? THREE-WAY.
 
2014-03-13 06:49:51 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: addy2: HotWingConspiracy: It doesn't say he's banging her.

"Dear Prudence, I'm getting old and saggy and I'm intensely jealous of the tight young thing living in my house. I violated my husband's privacy and found nothing that he hasn't said in front of me. Do I chop off his penis or murder the girl?"

It's not about you though. It's about this woman and her husband.

Look lady, you're just going to have to accept your fate here and start giving up the butt to your husband.


Not if she goes with your first choice. Me, I'd start hanging out with the pool boy and let the old man lose all his money on the new thing.
 
2014-03-13 09:39:25 PM  
We have no proof that he has done anything wrong. But what the hell he's guilty.
 
2014-03-13 09:56:50 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: It doesn't say he's banging her.

"Dear Prudence, I'm getting old and saggy and I'm intensely jealous of the tight young thing living in my house. I violated my husband's privacy and found nothing that he hasn't said in front of me. Do I chop off his penis or murder the girl?"


And we have a winner! Be sure to turn off the lights behind you.
 
2014-03-13 10:00:45 PM  

Cynicism101: zimbomba63: Anyway, where's the "I don't see a problem here" gang, that shows up when it's a female teacher and a 16 year old guy. Oh yeah, I forgot, the girl is suffering from emotional and psychological trauma, that no man will ever know. Well, aren't they always

I think the double standard is indicative of the fact that we, as a society, ignore the emotional needs and traumas of teenage boys who are victims of sexual assault, rather than "care too much" (?) about teenage girls who are the victims of sexual assault. Also note that even if the age difference wasn't problematic, the power difference is. That is why universities don't allow sexual relationships between professors and grad students. There is way too much "grey zone" about giving consent to someone who gives you grades, reference letters, an academic reputation, etc. etc.

But if you would like to be completely unsympathetic to anyone's suffering, confusion, self-loathing, self-blaming and general sadness (except, of course, your own), you have that right. I'm kinda judging you right now, but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you.

There is lots of evidence, that, at least in our culture where adolescents are not considered adults, adolescents aren't able to give informed consent. Biochemically, they are kinda  little drunks. You can choose to believe that our culture "coddles" teenagers who should be working in a coal mine, and that somehow this coddling changes brain chemistry (ie that a medieval teenager would have a much more stable, "adult" brain chemistry, allowing for more impulse control, long-term thinking, self-confidence, etc.). It seems that there aren't a lot of studies on this but I'd be very interested to see any results.


It's actually not against the rules at all universities.
 
2014-03-14 01:42:40 AM  
If only this was a porn scenario.

Still, can't you do both and get a female cop?
 
2014-03-14 02:09:03 AM  
File
For
Divorce
Now.

Do not wait.

File for divorce, file charges.
 
2014-03-14 03:10:06 AM  

porcupine tree: [img003.lazygirls.info image 380x380]


That's all the proof we need.  Now we KNOW he's been trying to put his testicles all over her.
 
2014-03-14 06:14:28 AM  
There's a weird break in the last answer of the bunch - a completely different writing style, much more abrupt with shorter sentences, simpler diction, and a word conjugated incorrectly. An intern filling in extra content? Emily Yoffe farming her five-minute replies out to freelancer.com?
 
2014-03-14 09:22:37 AM  

bughunter: tonguedepressor: Wasilla Hillbilly: AverageAmericanGuy: Has your husband joined a gym recently? Has he bought new underwear?

I haven't personally purchased underwear for myself in probably 20 years or more. Guess I'm as faithful as they get.

You know once you start washing them they don't last nearly that long.

As a bachelor, after a while, I stopped washing socks and underwear.  I'd wear 'em until they were ready to stand up on their own, and then just go buy new ones.


I wonder why you were a bachelor?
 
2014-03-14 10:06:01 AM  

Facetious Much: I find it extremely disturbing that the majority of commenters are debating the legality of farking a 16 year old and completely skipping over the fact that the relationship, based solely on the small facts given in the one sided letter, is very inappropriate for a married man. Jealous or not, if your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it usually is if it doesn't go away after you take a poo. As far as the going through his phone business being bad or evil, fark you guys it is the exact same way I caught my ex husband in his affair. Well, that and his e-mail. And his FB account. And his phone records. Sigh..what was I saying? Oh yeah, shame on you guys!


Hey, we guys wouldn't cheat on you ladies so much if you'd just agree to let us screw other women on the side.
 
2014-03-14 12:32:21 PM  

nucal: PunGent: Santa's_Dog: FarkinBastard: [ballsdeeptables.weebly.com image 250x337]

Here- found her photo. Nothing spectacular- maybe a 6/10.

Count me in on the "she's damn hot," side of this argument.  I had to whip up a batch of fapioca before typing this.

/sticky keyboard is sticky

Fapioca?

Hadn't heard THAT one before :)

[media.tumblr.com image 245x213]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVpyhwuzFJY


Heh, never saw that clip before, either.

CSB:  wife's last roommate, before we moved in together, had a big German Shepard.  It would freak out during thunderstorms, and the ONLY thing that would calm him down was turning on the TV, with sound, to that show; she kept old taped episodes around for the purpose.  The dog would plant himself on the rug and sit with his nose planted about a half inch from the screen, watching avidly.

Kinda weird.
 
2014-03-14 04:02:22 PM  

prjindigo: File
For
Divorce
Now.

Do not wait.

File for divorce, file charges.


That's right, arrest that asshole for a non-physical relationship!
 
2014-03-14 04:36:42 PM  

Ned Stark: Voiceofreason01: Isn't it a crime if you know somebody is committing a felony and you fail to report it?

Not if its your spouse I don't think.


Uh, you still have to report the crime, you just can't be compelled to testify.
 
2014-03-14 09:59:57 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: It doesn't say he's banging her.

"Dear Prudence, I'm getting old and saggy and I'm intensely jealous of the tight young thing living in my house. I violated my husband's privacy and found nothing that he hasn't said in front of me. Do I chop off his penis or murder the girl?"


Oh.  Well, thanks HWC for saving me the time I might have actually given this story.
 
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