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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Prosecutors worry judge may only give five years to infomercial pitchman, but if they ACT NOW, WE'LL GIVE THEM AN ADDITIONAL FIVE YEARS FOR THE SAME PRICE   (suntimes.com) divider line 55
    More: Followup, prosecutors, criminal contempt, United States Attorney, Kevin Trudeau  
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6255 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2014 at 12:55 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-12 10:52:47 PM  
That guy's nonsense medical claims "the cure for X they don't want you to know about" have killed people who believed him. He should rot under the prison.
 
2014-03-13 12:06:46 AM  
BILLY MAYS HERE!  ARE YOU TIRED OF HIDING RUSTY SHIVS UP YOUR ASS ONLY TO HAVE THEM GET STUCK AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS?  THEN YOU NEED THE POOP DECK!  THE POOP DECK IS A RADICAL NEW SHIV SHEATH MADE FROM SPACE AGE POLYMERS THAT FITS COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE!  POOP DECK WILL ADJUST TO FIT ANY TYPE OF SHIV, INCLUDING SCREWDRIVERS, BLADES OF GLASS AND SHARPENED SPOONS!  AND THANKS TO POOP DECK'S ERGONOMIC DESIGN YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR SHIV DEEP IN YOUR INTESTINES EVER AGAIN!  ALL IT TAKES IT ONE CLENCH AND YOU'RE READY TO CUT SOME PUNK-ASS BIATCH!  ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA POOP DECK ABSOLUTELY FREE!  YOUR POOP DECK WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR CELL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!  CALL NOW!
 
2014-03-13 12:21:48 AM  
ACT NOW, WE'LL GIVE THEM AN ADDITIONAL FIVE YEARS FOR THE SAME PRICE

You forgot the best part. FREE SHIPPING!
 
2014-03-13 12:29:14 AM  
"The Weight-Loss Cure 'They' Don't Want You to Know About,"

Haven't people realized yet that phrase... never mind, don't answer that.
 
2014-03-13 12:56:28 AM  
"The Weight-Loss Cure 'They' Don't Want You to Know About,"

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-13 01:01:36 AM  

Mentat: BILLY MAYS HERE!  ARE YOU TIRED OF HIDING RUSTY SHIVS UP YOUR ASS ONLY TO HAVE THEM GET STUCK AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS?  THEN YOU NEED THE POOP DECK!  THE POOP DECK IS A RADICAL NEW SHIV SHEATH MADE FROM SPACE AGE POLYMERS THAT FITS COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE!  POOP DECK WILL ADJUST TO FIT ANY TYPE OF SHIV, INCLUDING SCREWDRIVERS, BLADES OF GLASS AND SHARPENED SPOONS!  AND THANKS TO POOP DECK'S ERGONOMIC DESIGN YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR SHIV DEEP IN YOUR INTESTINES EVER AGAIN!  ALL IT TAKES IT ONE CLENCH AND YOU'RE READY TO CUT SOME PUNK-ASS BIATCH!  ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA POOP DECK ABSOLUTELY FREE!  YOUR POOP DECK WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR CELL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!  CALL NOW!


I just read that in Billy Mayes voice and am getting a kick.
 
2014-03-13 01:03:04 AM  

TommyymmoT: ACT NOW, WE'LL GIVE THEM AN ADDITIONAL FIVE YEARS FOR THE SAME PRICE

You forgot the best part. FREE SHIPPING!


You never get free shipping, that's usually the hook.
 
2014-03-13 01:05:49 AM  
ten years for 37 million?  Some people would take that deal
 
2014-03-13 01:06:19 AM  

Mentat: BILLY MAYS HERE!  ARE YOU TIRED OF HIDING RUSTY SHIVS UP YOUR ASS ONLY TO HAVE THEM GET STUCK AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS?  THEN YOU NEED THE POOP DECK!  THE POOP DECK IS A RADICAL NEW SHIV SHEATH MADE FROM SPACE AGE POLYMERS THAT FITS COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE!  POOP DECK WILL ADJUST TO FIT ANY TYPE OF SHIV, INCLUDING SCREWDRIVERS, BLADES OF GLASS AND SHARPENED SPOONS!  AND THANKS TO POOP DECK'S ERGONOMIC DESIGN YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR SHIV DEEP IN YOUR INTESTINES EVER AGAIN!  ALL IT TAKES IT ONE CLENCH AND YOU'RE READY TO CUT SOME PUNK-ASS BIATCH!  ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA POOP DECK ABSOLUTELY FREE!  YOUR POOP DECK WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR CELL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!  CALL NOW!


Is the Poop Deck made in a Chinese person's rectum?
 
2014-03-13 01:06:51 AM  
I'll give a +1 to Subby if no one else will.
 
2014-03-13 01:09:40 AM  
This guy's "how to get free money"-book infomercial is currently airing around here, and it's amusing to see the reports on the scam-report sites about it. This guy is unmitigated grifting scum who deserves a long, long time in prison.
 
2014-03-13 01:11:38 AM  
10 years for 37 million. That's 37 TAX FREE million. Not to mention the 3 squares-a-day plus all the free sex that you can stand.
 
2014-03-13 01:13:47 AM  
He is charged for making BS claims in a diet book? Does this not cover every diet book ever published?
 
2014-03-13 01:20:08 AM  

Lars The Canadian Viking: He is charged for making BS claims in a diet book? Does this not cover every diet book ever published?


He's charged with lying to the court. The lies in the book are just icing on the cake.


/mmmm, cake
 
2014-03-13 01:21:32 AM  
is "motivated by simple greed," and "has funded and protected a lavish lifestyle by bilking consumers and defying court orders," they argued.

Sounds like Congress. Fine, arrest them all.

was only "technically" found guilty of making misrepresentations in infomercials, but that they "did not do anything wrong."

Said every company in the past two decades after going to trial.
 
2014-03-13 01:25:50 AM  
I actually miss Pitchmen... It was a show about one of the absolute most irritating things on TV (infomercials), with some of the more irritating people on TV (Billy Mays and what's his face), but actually was kind of interesting to see them outside of their pitchmen personas.
 
2014-03-13 01:26:27 AM  

feckingmorons: That guy's nonsense medical claims "the cure for X they don't want you to know about" have killed people who believed him. He should rot under the prison.


He should, but he also should have a lot of company. Many televangelists and politicians make him look like a  Boy Scout.  Bachmann tells far worse lies and gets a salary from taxpayers for it.
 
2014-03-13 01:33:36 AM  
Thought this would be about the Shamwow guy.
 
2014-03-13 01:43:25 AM  

nytmare: He's charged with lying to the court.


I want to punch him in the face as much as the next guy, but...what did he do that was against the law that he was convicted for? What lies did he tell?
 
2014-03-13 01:47:26 AM  

Lars The Canadian Viking: He is charged for making BS claims in a diet book? Does this not cover every diet book ever published?


My weight loss book is true.  What follows is a complete transcription:

"Eat less."
 
2014-03-13 01:57:36 AM  
I've got a new miracle diet.  Eat sensibly and exercise daily.  Please cash out your 401k/IRA and PayPal it to me.
 
2014-03-13 01:59:08 AM  

fusillade762: "The Weight-Loss Cure 'They' Don't Want You to Know About,"

Haven't people realized yet that phrase... never mind, don't answer that.


Next you'll tell me the furniture store isn't really going out of business and everything does not really need to go.
 
2014-03-13 02:00:59 AM  

feckingmorons: That guy's nonsense medical claims "the cure for X they don't want you to know about" have killed people who believed him. He should rot under the prison.


He didn't kill them, they killed themselves.  And they probably did it while having actual medical professionals telling them not to kill themselves.  But yeah, sure, it's this guy's fault.  Whatever.
 
2014-03-13 02:05:50 AM  

DarkVader: feckingmorons: That guy's nonsense medical claims "the cure for X they don't want you to know about" have killed people who believed him. He should rot under the prison.

He didn't kill them, they killed themselves.  And they probably did it while having actual medical professionals telling them not to kill themselves.  But yeah, sure, it's this guy's fault.  Whatever.


Fire.  Yelling.  Crowed Theater.  Yadda yadda.
 
2014-03-13 02:13:33 AM  
Dear Federal Prosecutors:

Start with the BIG problems, then work your way down to the SMALL problems.
Starting with this guy? You're doing it wrong.

Thanks,


Everybody.
 
2014-03-13 02:14:05 AM  
I remember working at a bookstore when this guy's stuff was out. It was one of the most frequently purchased and frequently returned books we had on our shelves. People would purchase it, saying how Trudeau was going against Big Pharma. Then they returned it, complaining about how he asked them to buy his stuff.
 
2014-03-13 02:19:20 AM  
iansbrain.com
 
2014-03-13 02:21:34 AM  

Solstafir: Dear Federal Prosecutors:

Start with the BIG problems, then work your way down to the SMALL problems.
Starting with this guy? You're doing it wrong.

Thanks,

Everybody.


Unless you go for the death penalty.  Then you're putting his head on a metaphorical spike to serve as a warning to others.  Wind up having to spend less time at it that way.
 
2014-03-13 02:21:42 AM  
Sounds like he needs an attorney.

Might I recommend the expert legal services of Roni Lynn Deutch?
 
2014-03-13 02:41:52 AM  
But wait.. there's more!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mXIfOxOm5w NSFW
 
2014-03-13 02:42:02 AM  
Consider it a stupid tax.

Not sure why they are going after this specific bullshiat artist - cept that he seems to have dodged tax.

But even his tax dodging seems less than big companies do everyday with a lot more money - he was a 'consultant' to a lot of firms he owned.
 
2014-03-13 02:51:08 AM  

Lord Farkwad: But wait.. there's more!



I didn't need to see that
 
2014-03-13 02:53:49 AM  

Mentat: BILLY MAYS HERE!  ARE YOU TIRED OF HIDING RUSTY SHIVS UP YOUR ASS ONLY TO HAVE THEM GET STUCK AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS?  THEN YOU NEED THE POOP DECK!  THE POOP DECK IS A RADICAL NEW SHIV SHEATH MADE FROM SPACE AGE POLYMERS THAT FITS COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE!  POOP DECK WILL ADJUST TO FIT ANY TYPE OF SHIV, INCLUDING SCREWDRIVERS, BLADES OF GLASS AND SHARPENED SPOONS!  AND THANKS TO POOP DECK'S ERGONOMIC DESIGN YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR SHIV DEEP IN YOUR INTESTINES EVER AGAIN!  ALL IT TAKES IT ONE CLENCH AND YOU'RE READY TO CUT SOME PUNK-ASS BIATCH!  ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA POOP DECK ABSOLUTELY FREE!  YOUR POOP DECK WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR CELL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!  CALL NOW!


Channeling Pocket Ninja, eh?
 
2014-03-13 03:19:00 AM  
Perhaps he will follow in the footsteps of his hero, Don Lapre?


Back in the day when I bartended, I always fell asleep to TV infomercials, I knew them all by heart.  I was kind of surprised to find out just recently, what fate befell Lapre.
 
2014-03-13 03:35:44 AM  
I might be wrong but I always thought it was "bold-faced lie", not "bald-faced lie"
 
2014-03-13 03:52:13 AM  

jeanwearinfool: I might be wrong but I always thought it was "bold-faced lie", not "bald-faced lie"


From what I could gather during a drunken 90 second Google search, they are both correct.
 
2014-03-13 04:08:16 AM  

TommyymmoT: jeanwearinfool: I might be wrong but I always thought it was "bold-faced lie", not "bald-faced lie"

From what I could gather during a drunken 90 second Google search, they are both correct.


So this then.

blog.chewxy.com
 
2014-03-13 04:12:57 AM  

Benjamin Stone: Thought this would be about the Shamwow guy.


Second
(Scruffy.jpg)
 
2014-03-13 04:22:33 AM  
Kevin Trudeau's comical mannerisms along with that pseudo enthusiasm he uses in his infomercials were so hilarious to my brother that he downloaded his natural cures audiobook just to have some more laughs... He started taking some of the advice in the book to heart however, and within 4 years went from being a weak skinny guy on a diet of pizza and slim jims to a bulked up and chiseled yoga guru on a diet entirely of fruit and vegetables... Is Trudeau such a greedy weasel with a Messiah complex that he deserves a long prison sentence? Probably, just hope to see more interviews out of him lol
 
2014-03-13 04:42:19 AM  
I am very happy that the past is catching up with Kevin Trudeau. This scumbag sold quack cures and peddled lies to vulnerable and sick people. Undoubtedly people died because of him and I hope he gets to cool his heels in prison for a very long time.

I doubt he will ever feel an iota of remorse given that he is a career con man, but at least he can't enjoy the proceeds of his crime or be ripping off anyone else while he is inside.
 
2014-03-13 04:55:59 AM  
But the  chicks this guy pulled...
 
2014-03-13 06:14:03 AM  
Iczer

I actually miss Pitchmen... It was a show about one of the absolute most irritating things on TV (infomercials), with some of the more irritating people on TV (Billy Mays and what's his face), but actually was kind of interesting to see them outside of their pitchmen personas not high on cocaine.

Ftfy
 
2014-03-13 06:30:32 AM  

yukichigai: DarkVader: feckingmorons: That guy's nonsense medical claims "the cure for X they don't want you to know about" have killed people who believed him. He should rot under the prison.

He didn't kill them, they killed themselves.  And they probably did it while having actual medical professionals telling them not to kill themselves.  But yeah, sure, it's this guy's fault.  Whatever.

Fire.  Yelling.  Crowed Theater.  Yadda yadda.


No fire.  Book writing.  Privacy of own home.  Yadda yadda.
 
2014-03-13 07:23:04 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Mentat: BILLY MAYS HERE!  ARE YOU TIRED OF HIDING RUSTY SHIVS UP YOUR ASS ONLY TO HAVE THEM GET STUCK AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS?  THEN YOU NEED THE POOP DECK!  THE POOP DECK IS A RADICAL NEW SHIV SHEATH MADE FROM SPACE AGE POLYMERS THAT FITS COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BUTTHOLE!  POOP DECK WILL ADJUST TO FIT ANY TYPE OF SHIV, INCLUDING SCREWDRIVERS, BLADES OF GLASS AND SHARPENED SPOONS!  AND THANKS TO POOP DECK'S ERGONOMIC DESIGN YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR SHIV DEEP IN YOUR INTESTINES EVER AGAIN!  ALL IT TAKES IT ONE CLENCH AND YOU'RE READY TO CUT SOME PUNK-ASS BIATCH!  ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA POOP DECK ABSOLUTELY FREE!  YOUR POOP DECK WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR CELL FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TWO PACKS OF CIGARETTES PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING!  CALL NOW!

Channeling Pocket Ninja, eh?


I got through almost whole thing before I read the By Line.  I was almost certain it would turn out to be Pocket Ninja.  I don't favorite him because I like to be surprised :)
 
2014-03-13 07:26:00 AM  
quizilla.teennick.com
 
2014-03-13 08:01:01 AM  
Yep, I don't miss infomercials.
 
2014-03-13 08:04:56 AM  
Is any weight loss or diet book a bigger lie than the FDA food pyramid?
 
2014-03-13 08:05:15 AM  

Solstafir: Dear Federal Prosecutors:

Start with the BIG problems, then work your way down to the SMALL problems.
Starting with this guy? You're doing it wrong.

Thanks,

Everybody.


During Sunday's 2 minutes hate for prosecutors, somebody was complaining that their DA didn't go after some guy that stole $250. That's why I love fark: idiots from all sides.
 
2014-03-13 09:05:00 AM  
The only mistake this guy made is not building a corporate structure strong enough to hide behind.  Amateur.
 
2014-03-13 09:14:40 AM  
As soon as I read the headlines, I was hoping it was Kevin Trudeau.  Thanks for making my day, Fark!
 
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