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(io9)   If you've ever wanted to hold your breath for 20 minutes (and who using public transportation hasn't), today is your lucky day   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Harry Houdini, David Blaine, lung capacity, International Association of Educators  
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7724 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 10:11 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-03-12 10:16:54 PM  
I thought it was going to be this.
 
2014-03-12 10:17:03 PM  
I just farted.
 
2014-03-12 10:19:06 PM  
Ahhhh, I freedive and this headline is B.S.
 
2014-03-12 10:19:06 PM  
lol

// went with 'bathroom' humor for my submission attempt
 
2014-03-12 10:20:47 PM  
2.5 min is about the best I've done and I attribute my success to smoking
 
2014-03-12 10:21:00 PM  
Best I've ever done was a little over 5 minutes.  That was in a controlled environment following 10 minutes of hyperventilating.  I was in the best shape of my life at the time with a resting heart rate of 47.  20 years later the best I can do is hyperventilate for 3 minutes and fall down
 
2014-03-12 10:24:17 PM  
My bus always smells like the dank.
 
2014-03-12 10:25:45 PM  

"If you've ever wanted to hold your breath for 20 minutes (and who using public transportation hasn't), today is your lucky day "


If subby's ever been to Boston's North sTation, you know holding your breath for 20 minutes would be a miracle there. The station opened in 2005 but it smells like a hundred year old tomb.I think the toilets from the nearby Boston Garden empty into the train station.

 
2014-03-12 10:26:03 PM  
My grandfather can hold his breath for way longer than 22 minutes.
 
2014-03-12 10:28:51 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Best I've ever done was a little over 5 minutes.  That was in a controlled environment following 10 minutes of hyperventilating.  I was in the best shape of my life at the time with a resting heart rate of 47.  20 years later the best I can do is hyperventilate for 3 minutes and fall down


You too?
 
2014-03-12 10:30:17 PM  
I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.
 
2014-03-12 10:31:56 PM  

Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.


Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here
 
2014-03-12 10:32:14 PM  

Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.


Probably Mustard Gas
 
2014-03-12 10:34:06 PM  
The smell of my flatus approaches that of diesel fuel.
 
2014-03-12 10:36:28 PM  

Cerebral Ballsy: Ahhhh, I freedive and this headline is B.S.


I prefer to muffdive
 
2014-03-12 10:38:10 PM  
I remember there was this neighbor girl who could hold her breath until the she passed out. She was awesome.
 
2014-03-12 10:39:00 PM  
When I was a kid, my dad taught me the breathe-as-deeply-as-you-can-for-a-long-time-then-hold-your-breath trick. I think I went three minutes or something. It was amazing.
 
2014-03-12 10:39:40 PM  
Mine resembles a roadkill groundhog after three day in the July sun with a pousom eating his way in from the arse
 
2014-03-12 10:41:27 PM  

vodka: I remember there was this neighbor girl who could hold her breath until the she passed out. She was awesome.


You didnt !
 
2014-03-12 10:46:45 PM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
Not impressed.
 
2014-03-12 10:53:10 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.

Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here


Wanna have a Dutch Oven contest?
 
2014-03-12 10:55:23 PM  

vodka: I remember there was this neighbor girl who could hold her breath until the she passed out. She was awesome.


Why? Did you molest her when she passed out?
 
2014-03-12 10:56:05 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-03-12 10:56:39 PM  

Russ1642: My grandfather can hold his breath for way longer than 22 minutes.


My grandfather has held his breath for 20 years now.
 
2014-03-12 10:58:00 PM  

rebelyell2006: Why? Did you molest her when she passed out?


You guys are sick. She could manipulate her parents like nobody else.
 
2014-03-12 10:58:58 PM  

vodka: rebelyell2006: Why? Did you molest her when she passed out?

You guys are sick. She could manipulate her parents like nobody else.


I didn't have to pass out to manipulate my parents.
 
2014-03-12 11:05:30 PM  

vodka: I remember there was this neighbor girl who could hold her breath until the she passed out. She was awesome.


Save a lot of money on roofies.
 
2014-03-12 11:11:23 PM  
Aren't you glad you used Dial?  Don't you wish everyone did?
 
2014-03-12 11:13:01 PM  

vodka: rebelyell2006: Why? Did you molest her when she passed out?

You guys are sick. She could manipulate her parents like nobody else.


How long did she stay out?
 
2014-03-12 11:13:12 PM  
International Association for Development of Apnea, or "AIDA," the global sanctioning body for competitive breath-holding events.

I'm sorry, but this is lame. I have no issues with people wanting to hold their breath for a long time to get their name in the record books, but really, and international body for competitive breath-holding...that makes the International Speed Walking Association seem really cool.
 
2014-03-12 11:13:59 PM  
img.fark.net

It can be a useful skill.
 
2014-03-12 11:15:01 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Best I've ever done was a little over 5 minutes.  That was in a controlled environment following 10 minutes of hyperventilating.  I was in the best shape of my life at the time with a resting heart rate of 47.   20 years later the best I can do is hyperventilate for 3 minutes and fall down



Farking hilarous
 
2014-03-12 11:16:27 PM  

dennysgod: International Association for Development of Apnea, or "AIDA," the global sanctioning body for competitive breath-holding events.

I'm sorry, but this is lame. I have no issues with people wanting to hold their breath for a long time to get their name in the record books, but really, and international body for competitive breath-holding...that makes the International Speed Walking Association seem really cool.


It's an event in the nerd Olympics
 
2014-03-12 11:19:26 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: How long did she stay out?


If you hold your breath until you pass out then you're only out for a couple of seconds.

It's not an easy thing to to do though, try it. Damn near impossible.
 
2014-03-12 11:28:30 PM  
If my wife reads this I'm goin' DOWN.
 
2014-03-12 11:28:38 PM  

vodka: BluVeinThrobber: How long did she stay out?

If you hold your breath until you pass out then you're only out for a couple of seconds.

It's not an easy thing to to do though, try it. Damn near impossible.



I'll pass on that one, I dont want to waste all of this Beam by getting a headache
 
2014-03-12 11:29:48 PM  
I could do it, but, I've got to mow the lawn.  Yeah, I know there's snow on it. Do I look stupid or something?
 
2014-03-12 11:35:29 PM  

zimbomba63: I could do it, but, I've got to mow the lawn.  Yeah, I know there's snow on it. Do I look stupid or something?


Is this a vote or a poll?
 
2014-03-12 11:38:12 PM  

Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.

Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here

Wanna have a Dutch Oven contest?


I used to live downwind from a fish processing plant, lived with my old man for 17 years and myself for 37 years.  Bring it on ye farter of posies and cinnamon sticks
 
2014-03-12 11:38:23 PM  
Fact: the body needs oxygen to survive.

Idiots: I know! Let's make a sport out of not breathing!

/they make equipment for diving, you know
 
2014-03-12 11:44:29 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: zimbomba63: I could do it, but, I've got to mow the lawn.  Yeah, I know there's snow on it. Do I look stupid or something?

Is this a vote or a poll?


Don't bother, just ask my wife, she knows.
 
2014-03-12 11:46:18 PM  

zimbomba63: BluVeinThrobber: zimbomba63: I could do it, but, I've got to mow the lawn.  Yeah, I know there's snow on it. Do I look stupid or something?

Is this a vote or a poll?

Don't bother, just ask my wife, she knows.


Dont they all
 
2014-03-12 11:50:38 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.

Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here

Wanna have a Dutch Oven contest?

I used to live downwind from a fish processing plant, lived with my old man for 17 years and myself for 37 years.  Bring it on ye farter of posies and cinnamon sticks


Pickled eggs, sardines, and cheap beer make for a more potent fart than posies and cinnamon sticks.
 
2014-03-12 11:57:31 PM  
Duane Dibbley:

Pick up the fabulous Idol!
 
2014-03-13 12:26:44 AM  

Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.

Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here

Wanna have a Dutch Oven contest?

I used to live downwind from a fish processing plant, lived with my old man for 17 years and myself for 37 years.  Bring it on ye farter of posies and cinnamon sticks

Pickled eggs, sardines, and cheap beer make for a more potent fart than posies and cinnamon sticks.


I propose we team up and go crop dust the perfume departments during Christmas at Macys.  You take the eggs, I'll drink the red beer and eat the lentils
 
2014-03-13 12:33:32 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: I definitely cant hold my breath for 20 minutes, but I can give you a reason to hold yours for 20. The UN has deemed my gas to be a chemical weapon.

Lies and heresy.  Oldfarthenry and I are the walking Geneva Convention war crime violaters around here

Wanna have a Dutch Oven contest?

I used to live downwind from a fish processing plant, lived with my old man for 17 years and myself for 37 years.  Bring it on ye farter of posies and cinnamon sticks

Pickled eggs, sardines, and cheap beer make for a more potent fart than posies and cinnamon sticks.

I propose we team up and go crop dust the perfume departments during Christmas at Macys.  You take the eggs, I'll drink the red beer and eat the lentils


Sounds like a plan
 
2014-03-13 12:59:56 AM  
l1.yimg.com
Not impressed.
 
2014-03-13 03:44:16 AM  

Duane Dibbley: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


+1000 internets. Came for this.
 
2014-03-13 07:31:01 AM  
This guy looks like he should be in an ad for Target.

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-13 10:35:18 AM  

bborchar: Fact: the body needs oxygen to survive.


That's just what Big Oxygen wants you to believe! Wake up, sheeple!

/Now, if we could just get the sort of morons who buy into woo and nonsense to think they should all stop breathing, we might make the world a better place...
 
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