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(Lifehacker)   "Please excuse Epstein from jury duty because he's having a kidney removed - Epstein's Mom"   (lifehacker.com) divider line 31
    More: Interesting, hung jury, jury duty, voter registration, grand jury  
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4847 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 5:36 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-12 04:14:02 PM
The downside of being Epstein's surgeon is that just when you are doing a delicate kidney removal he starts flopping around and yealling "OOOH OOOH OOOH MR. CUTTER!  MR. CUTTER!"

Wait, that was Horshak.

GOT DAMMIT!
 
2014-03-12 04:32:27 PM
I used to get notices constantly, until I learned 2 words - jury nullification. I haven't been called since, and I doubt if I'm even in the system anymore. The thing is, I didn't bring it up as an excuse to get out. The prosecutor asked me about it indirectly, and I just told him what I honestly believe. He was red in the face, the defense attorney was smirking, and the judge was face palming, but I was free to leave.
 
2014-03-12 04:45:58 PM
"Please excuse Epstein from jury duty because he's having a kidney removed - been dead for several years - Epstein's Mom"
 
2014-03-12 05:14:50 PM
www.bionicdisco.com

RIP Juan Epstein
 
2014-03-12 05:38:22 PM
I get called every other year.
It's always the same story, as soon as the defendant is notified that a jury is ready and waiting they plea out.

Annoying as hell and a waste of my time.
 
2014-03-12 05:40:28 PM

Dinki: [www.bionicdisco.com image 500x326]

RIP Juan Epstein


Welcome back Epstein.
To that same old place
That you laughed about
 
2014-03-12 05:41:43 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-12 05:42:30 PM
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-03-12 05:43:16 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 493x1014]


Heh. Weird.
 
2014-03-12 05:47:54 PM
I never got called for jury duty until I filed for unemployment insurance. I guess they figured I had nothing else to do.
 
2014-03-12 05:56:50 PM
I got called once when I was in my 20's and was looking forward to it  but it was cancelled.  If I was called now I don't know what I would do, I'm kind of afraid of conflict now. I guess I'd get a note from my doctor, who is real.
 
2014-03-12 05:57:14 PM
I was on jury duty a couple of years ago.  Total waking nightmare.
I mean, it was worse for the murdered lady.  And her family.  And, I guess, for the guy we sent to prison.
But still.
 
2014-03-12 05:59:26 PM
I've only been called twice in all these years (I'm kinda old). Maybe being married to someone who works in the police department crime lab helps.
 
2014-03-12 06:00:56 PM
CSB
I get out of jury duty every single time because years ago the LA Police Department Internal Affairs called me as a witness against a cop.  This seems to annoy the judge and both attorneys.
I'm outta there and back to work in 30 minutes.
/CSB
 
2014-03-12 06:21:18 PM
I've been called four times. Never even made it to the courtroom. Same thing each time...show up in the morning, sit in the waiting room all day reading a book only to be told at around 3:30 or 4:00.that our services were not needed.
 
2014-03-12 06:24:25 PM
I think it would be interesting to serve on a jury. Hell, I'd volunteer for one if such things were allowed.
 
2014-03-12 06:39:45 PM
I have served on one jury and was nearly called for a second.  I think I was eliminated because the judge played Trivial Pursuit during voir dire and I knew what the 7th amendment was about.

/I explained that I had memorized the Bill of Rights.
//Only explanation I can think of because I otherwise stayed silent during the whole proceedings.
 
2014-03-12 07:16:49 PM
I got fired for taking too much time on jury duty.

I called two lawyers, both said that nothing is going to happen to the boss, but if you want to waste time and money to go after the guy then go ahead.

Got a new job the next week, it paid nearly double.

He was a pretty horrible person. The company went out of business a couple of years later, so I'm glad I got out when I did.
 
2014-03-12 07:42:19 PM
Meh, last time I was called for jury duty I didn't show up and nothing happened. I probably would have shown up if I didn't have a warrant for arrest. Anyways, I bet once I told a prosecuting atty that I had an outstanding warrant, I would have been dropped quicker than a hot potato (I could of came up with a better analogy) .  That would have been pretty much a sure fire way to get out.

FYI, some cities/counties get their list from the utility cos.
 
2014-03-12 08:06:19 PM

Outtaphase: I used to get notices constantly, until I learned 2 words - jury nullification. I haven't been called since, and I doubt if I'm even in the system anymore. The thing is, I didn't bring it up as an excuse to get out. The prosecutor asked me about it indirectly, and I just told him what I honestly believe. He was red in the face, the defense attorney was smirking, and the judge was face palming, but I was free to leave.


See, I don't mind jury duty...and I'm for jury nullification.  Naturally, the prosecuting attorney will never hear that from me, and he'll wonder why he lost his clear cut case...
 
2014-03-12 08:42:38 PM
I got called to jury duty once in 11 years of living in the county... sat around all morning until they did some figgerin' and realized that they had more cases than judges that day. So they let us go and I moved out of that county shortly thereafter.
 
2014-03-12 08:49:09 PM

IlGreven: See, I don't mind jury duty...and I'm for jury nullification. Naturally, the prosecuting attorney will never hear that from me, and he'll wonder why he lost his clear cut case...


I don't necessarily mind it either. I also understand why people are on either side of the argument. In my state, the legislature passed a law requiring the judge to instruct the jury that they must decide on the evidence and take no consideration of the validity of the law. (paraphrasing, IANAL, recalling from over 10 years ago, etc. forgive minor inaccuracies)

The key word here is instruct, which does not mean inform. I was surprised at first to find nearly no recent precedent as guidance. Then again, who would gain from challenging it? The judicial branch is perfectly happy to maintain any level of stature it can. The executive branch would lose prosecution power. The legislative branch could see a challenge to anything it passes. None of them want to see it challenged, and as long as jury's can just get away with it (because that is their right), it becomes a Pandora's box that nobody cares to open because it will just spray shiat on everyone.
 
2014-03-12 09:16:30 PM
Showing up in a leather corset and carrying a whip saying you heard someone needed to be punished will ether get you out of jury duty, or invited into the judges chambers.
 
2014-03-12 09:55:52 PM
I've only been called once.  At the time I lived in Bridgewater, NJ, but was working in upstate New York (was building a tunnel).  Was usually in NY two weeks at a time and then back to Jersey for a weekend.  Like a 4.5 hour drive.

Called into the clerk, asked if I could get it canceled or postponed (I was the only person in the company with an underground blasting license, so me being called would shut the job down).  Six months later, asked for another postponing...    Ended up having it postponed two years total, six months at a time.  When I finally was able to attend, they gave me the "petite juror" cat which meant I had to call in every day after 5 pm to see if I had to go in the next day for a week or two period.  Never had to go in.

Was still working in upstate NY.
 
2014-03-12 09:58:25 PM
Whenever I got a letter calling me for jury duty, I always sent it back, checking a box which said that I was self employed and that it would be a hardship for me to have lose so much money by not working.
 
2014-03-12 10:04:11 PM
Not to be a stickler, but shouldn't that be Epstein's MOTHER?

/former Sweathog fan
//love me some Freddy Boom Boom Washington!
 
2014-03-12 10:15:37 PM
I've been called six times in the last thirty years.  For three of them, my name was near the end of the jury pool list and I got dismissed at lunchtime.  Read a good book all morning and a half day off work after lunch.

Two were DUI cases.  For one of those, I was not the only juror quietly snickering as the defense witness claimed that the defendant had spent 8 hours on Superbowl Sunday at an Italian social club in Boston's North End without having a single drink.

The big one was for the Neil Entwhistle murder trial.  Had to fill out a 25 page questionaire and then wait in the jury room for three days running before I got called in to the courtroom, only to have the defense attorney send me packing during voir dire.  I think it was due to my having been mugged at knifepoint 30 years earlier and mentioning that on the questionaire. I got to read 8 books while I waited.  Nice relaxing time.  Decent restaurants near the court building, too.

In Massachusetts anyone can volunteer for jury duty.  You just show up and register with the clerk.  In Cambridge, there was always a group of retired men talking amongst themselves, reading the paper, and playing cards.  Clerk said they were a group of regulars who volunteered several times a week just for the heck of it.
 
2014-03-12 10:52:16 PM
I got called for Grand Jury a few years back. I was pumped and soooo wanted to do it, but I had a job where I was the only tech in a small startup and had three kids I had to look after, so they excused me. It would have been two weeks 9-5 and I just couldn't swing it.

Still bummed. :(
 
2014-03-13 10:49:57 AM

Lot_Lizard: Not to be a stickler, but shouldn't that be Epstein's MOTHER?

/former Sweathog fan
//love me some Freddy Boom Boom Washington!


**ding ding ding** we have a winner!
why did it take this long into this thread for someone to point this out?
epstein's mutha!
 
2014-03-13 10:51:53 AM
i have always wanted to serve on a jury.
i've received notice twice ever. once while i was stationed overseas, so that's an automatic out. the other time was from texarkana, right after i'd moved down here to ft worth...also an auto-out.
 
2014-03-13 01:13:54 PM
I am happy to serve, and always respond. Only once got to actually sit on the jury, but it was for an attempted murder case. 3 paid days off work, and the court bought my lunch. It was a pretty nice time. I really hope if I ever need a jury that it is actually a jury of my peers, and not 12 people who were too stupid, or had nothing better to do.
 
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