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(FB Photos)   Caption this proud mother of the future   (scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net) divider line 55
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3725 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 5:00 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-12 11:18:30 AM
Original:
scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-03-12 11:20:13 AM
"I think the baby will need 10 more minutes on low heat, but otherwise we're ready to go."
 
2014-03-12 11:28:34 AM
"I'm filing him under 'B' for now."
 
2014-03-12 12:01:54 PM
Hello, Ness?  This is your dad.  I'm so proud of you for being born.  I feel like such a hero!  Oh, I've deposited $140 into your account.  Taking away what you've withdrawn, you should have $140 dollars in the bank.  Do you want to keep playing, or call it quits for the night?
 
2014-03-12 12:02:32 PM
Goddammit...

Hello, Ness?  This is your dad.  I'm so proud of you for being born.  I feel like such a hero!  Oh, I've deposited $140 into your account.  Taking away what you've withdrawn, you should have $140 dollars in the bank.  Do you want to keep playing, or call it quits for the night?
 
2014-03-12 05:02:49 PM
Do these drawers come in large?
 
2014-03-12 05:02:54 PM
But darling, you hardly ever use that filing cabinet in home office! And with the triplets, we could really use more room!
 
2014-03-12 05:07:03 PM
Baby Doe, it's London calling..
 
2014-03-12 05:08:40 PM
Light is green, trap is clean.
 
2014-03-12 05:10:12 PM
"Mmmmyeah, honey, I think I want to name him William, m'kay? William Livingston Lumbergh. Yeahhh. Nurse, can you just go ahead and change his diaper? That'd be great."
 
2014-03-12 05:10:17 PM
I was all like, "Get this farkng kid out."
 
2014-03-12 05:10:29 PM
Ever since they installed these pneumatic tubes, the fathers get to see their babies   tout de suite.
 
2014-03-12 05:10:53 PM
Hello Future? I'm happy the baby is now cordless, but when will you cut the phone cord?
 
2014-03-12 05:11:18 PM
"Is my mom using a rotary phone?  When I grow up, I'm gonna get me a cellphone!"
 
2014-03-12 05:11:52 PM
One day, I'll be able to take a picture during delivery, then of our new little bundle in his drawer, and send it to you over this phone! One day...
 
2014-03-12 05:12:30 PM
"Hello, womb service?"
 
2014-03-12 05:12:45 PM
"So I says to Mabel I says..."
 
2014-03-12 05:13:03 PM
"Dear, you absolutely must see these neat drawers they put the babies in!  It's something out of The Jetsons!"
 
2014-03-12 05:13:24 PM

gnosis301: Goddammit...

Hello, Ness?  This is your dad.  I'm so proud of you for being born.  I feel like such a hero!  Oh, I've deposited $140 into your account.  Taking away what you've withdrawn, you should have $140 dollars in the bank.  Do you want to keep playing, or call it quits for the night?


I love you.
 
2014-03-12 05:13:54 PM
"Light is green, trap is clean."
 
2014-03-12 05:13:59 PM
can't you see i am on the phone,close that before he makes a sound.
 
2014-03-12 05:15:00 PM
Oh, and nurse, please lay that piece of glass right on top of the baby's cradle.  She's got to learn about the glass ceiling sooner or later.
 
2014-03-12 05:15:44 PM
*SLAM!*
 
2014-03-12 05:16:11 PM
i can see the sink
so she is in the kitchen

but not one sammich!!!
 
2014-03-12 05:17:05 PM
can you close that until i am off the phone?
 
2014-03-12 05:17:14 PM
"Mom, the baby is white, so Scotty doesn't know"
 
2014-03-12 05:19:12 PM
Yes, dear. It's white.
 
2014-03-12 05:19:39 PM
"Having abortion will be home to make dinner soon honey."
 
2014-03-12 05:20:16 PM
He looks just like my father. Dead.
 
2014-03-12 05:20:52 PM
I'm delivering right now. It's so much easier than I've heard.
 
2014-03-12 05:24:08 PM
Oh, nurse. He's perfect. But, can you show me a girl?
 
2014-03-12 05:26:28 PM
Yes dear, I did ask them for that extra stitch.
Good thing too, 'cause my cooter is WRECKED.
 
2014-03-12 05:27:58 PM
Yes Dog, he looks just like you!
 
2014-03-12 05:30:06 PM
Hurry home dear, dinner's coming out of the oven right now.
 
2014-03-12 05:31:59 PM
"Why yes, he is here...I thought you were kidding when you guaranteed 30 minutes or less."
 
2014-03-12 05:32:59 PM
"My shadow looks like a man"
 
2014-03-12 05:34:11 PM
"No thanks, I won't be keeping that, you can throw it down the garbage chute."
 
2014-03-12 05:37:42 PM
We've chosen Richard Bruce Gay. A name he can be proud of.
 
2014-03-12 05:38:14 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-03-12 05:43:02 PM
You should see him, sweetie, he looks just like a doll...
 
2014-03-12 05:47:34 PM
And if you will watch as I demonstrate how this works, ma'am. I close the drawer so your little bundle of joy is on the other side. You can still see Junior through the glass pane. Hi there, sweetheart. Oh isn't he a cutie! Now miss, please hang up the phone and listen, because this bit is important.

This is a special feature for today's generation of parent. We have found caregivers nowadays pay more attention to small boxes with glass on the front than their own child, so researchers at the Magnavox Institute designed these little contraptions to help you feel more connected to the young one and the time you spend watching them more rewarding.

Using the KidTV™ has boosted attentiveness in parents almost 200% in test groups. What you do is go about your normal day with theKidTV™ in a convenient place in your household like the living room or kitchen. You will find it easier to notice when Junior there is upset, needs help, or is being especially adorable. The KidTV™ even has Laserdisk recording built right in so if you want to step out for a little while, you can see what you missed on your own time.
 
2014-03-12 05:50:56 PM
Little Johnny when you get older you'll get a free higher education and, a high paying job after you graduate. When your retire you'll get a pension and free health care for life.

On the down side your kids will be farked.
 
2014-03-12 05:52:12 PM
img.fark.net
With voting
 
2014-03-12 05:57:46 PM
"Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP! .....to SHUT UP!............Bill to SHUT UP!..........to SHUT UP!..."


//Night Shift
 
2014-03-12 06:15:15 PM
"It's marvelous! This kitchen even comes with a drawer for the baby!"
 
2014-03-12 06:18:21 PM
Huh, she looks like my mom. I don't remember being stored in a drawer as a baby, though.

Must be one of those many other suppressed memories that I also don't remember.

/I've forgotten more than I ever knew!
 
2014-03-12 06:26:49 PM
"The drawer is awesome, you can't even hear the kid cry!"
 
2014-03-12 06:43:28 PM
"Doctor, he looks nothing like his father.  He resembles the mailman...uh, oh."
 
2014-03-12 06:56:26 PM

paswa17: And if you will watch as I demonstrate how this works, ma'am. I close the drawer so your little bundle of joy is on the other side. You can still see Junior through the glass pane. Hi there, sweetheart. Oh isn't he a cutie! Now miss, please hang up the phone and listen, because this bit is important.

This is a special feature for today's generation of parent. We have found caregivers nowadays pay more attention to small boxes with glass on the front than their own child, so researchers at the Magnavox Institute designed these little contraptions to help you feel more connected to the young one and the time you spend watching them more rewarding.

Using the KidTV™ has boosted attentiveness in parents almost 200% in test groups. What you do is go about your normal day with theKidTV™ in a convenient place in your household like the living room or kitchen. You will find it easier to notice when Junior there is upset, needs help, or is being especially adorable. The KidTV™ even has Laserdisk recording built right in so if you want to step out for a little while, you can see what you missed on your own time.


Brilliant! You have a kickstarter for that idea?
 
2014-03-12 07:00:04 PM
"Hello, helpdesk?  I seem to have misplaced the owner's manual..."
 
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