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(Boston.com)   Mysterious disappearance of Malaysian airline gets slightly less mysterious as worker on an oil rig platform of the coast of Vietnam sends an e-mail to his bosses saying he saw a flaming jetliner plunge into the sea   (boston.com) divider line 59
    More: Interesting, Malaysia, Vietnam, Malaysia Airlines, jetliner, DigitalGlobe, Judy Woodruff, South China Sea, Gulf of Thailand  
•       •       •

17530 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 1:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-03-12 01:33:00 PM  
14 votes:
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

What a flaming airplane may look like..
2014-03-12 01:30:59 PM  
10 votes:
Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe it was a different plane on fire.
2014-03-12 02:05:02 PM  
8 votes:
Subject: Weekly update

Dear Boss Guy,

I cleaned out the intake like you wanted. Everything is running smoothly.

Sum Yung Dude

PS: We are almost out of coffee
PPS: I saw a flaming plane crash into the ocean
2014-03-12 02:28:28 PM  
6 votes:

Anayalator: You find it

[www.dailygalaxy.com image 400x300]


i236.photobucket.com
2014-03-12 03:26:29 PM  
4 votes:
Here are some of the previous documented problems with the missing airplane.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Additional Details
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
2014-03-12 03:06:59 PM  
4 votes:

Danger Mouse: Bf+: vpb: It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.

Disappearing an entire plane?  Now that's some hoax!
Waaaaiiiiit a minute... Where's David Copperfield during all this?


On his private island raping a plane full of asian chicks.


Why would he rape the plane, when he could just rape the asian chicks?
2014-03-12 02:50:52 PM  
4 votes:

rynthetyn: My sister's aviation engineer inlaw seems to think that


My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw the missing jet pass over 31 Flavors last night in flames. I guess it's pretty serious.
2014-03-12 02:18:00 PM  
4 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
I say let them crash!
2014-03-12 02:10:43 PM  
4 votes:
farm4.static.flickr.com
2014-03-12 01:51:07 PM  
4 votes:
I like how "investigative journalists" now just tweet a picture with a "could be a hoax, how am I supposed to know?" note and walk away.
2014-03-12 01:34:42 PM  
4 votes:
This photo just in, from moments before the crash:

i.ytimg.com
2014-03-12 12:53:58 PM  
4 votes:

vpb: It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.


Seems like it ought to take about 15 minutes for a competent news agency to at least confirm that:

- There is an oil rig in that location.
- Some guy named Mike McKay works there.

Unfortunately, finding a competent news agency is going to be harder than finding that damn plane.
2014-03-12 03:06:29 PM  
3 votes:
s2.hubimg.com
2014-03-12 03:04:00 PM  
3 votes:

stonicus: Deep Contact: I'm the first to report a meteor hit the plane in the perfect spot to avoid explosion but take it down.

Actually, CNN earlier today had the "hit by meteor" theory...


Where do you think they got it from?
2014-03-12 02:40:54 PM  
3 votes:
Whatchoo Talkinbout:

Many large pieces made it to the sea more or less intact. Similarly the shuttle was traveling at 17,000 MPH and reentering the atmosphere when it left many large and heavy pieces intact to hit Texas. Something made it down, something is floating. Carry on the mystery.

18 times the speed of light!
sprott.physics.wisc.edu
2014-03-12 02:10:31 PM  
3 votes:

rynthetyn: I have in my address book several Vietnamese government employees who are using hotmail or yahoo accounts for work email, so it's not that big a stretch that employees of a Vietnamese oil company might do the same.


I have corresponded with a prince and several former government officials from Nigeria who use Hotmail.
2014-03-12 01:59:23 PM  
3 votes:
cherylrhoads.typepad.com

That was a hoax...right?
2014-03-12 01:31:45 PM  
3 votes:
Baba Booey.
2014-03-12 01:31:15 PM  
3 votes:
The plane had lost power in all three engines, dropped from thirty-four thousand feet to twelve thousand feet. Something like four miles. When the steep glide began, people rose, fell, collided, swam in their seats. Then the serious screaming and moaning began. Almost immediately a voice from the flight deck was heard on the intercom: "We're falling out of the sky! We're going down! We're a silver gleaming death machine!" This outburst struck the passengers as an all but total breakdown of authority, competence and command presence and it brought on a round of fresh and desperate wailing.
2014-03-12 11:59:54 AM  
3 votes:
It could be a hoax, yes, Bob, you magnificent expert on all things.  Or not.  So send a goddamn plane out to the coordinates he described, adjusted for currents, and see what you see.

Seriously - who do they have looking for this thing?  Mr. Magoo?
2014-03-12 03:01:01 PM  
2 votes:

telejester: PreMortem: telejester: PreMortem: Why would aliens stage a catastrophy? No good reason.

Ruby Thewes can spell better than you.

I've conceded my spelling to my phone, which underlines in red any misspelled words. It did not. Your argument is invalid.

I beg to differ:

I can spell it, too. Learned it the same place you did, in the school room. One of the first words they taught me. "Ruby Thewes, you are a c-a-t-a-s-t-r-o-p-h-e!"


It's Cat Ass Trophy, damn it.
images.lazygamer.net
2014-03-12 02:45:47 PM  
2 votes:
or there's this Spoiler Alert...

barnaclebutt.files.wordpress.com

They're all dead.
2014-03-12 02:45:39 PM  
2 votes:

cgraves67: Well, the guy could be wrong, but hey, there are dozens of ships and planes combing the sea for the wreckage. What's the harm in sending one over to that area for a looksie?


Well, the last one that went over to that area fell flaming from the sky, apparently.  Would you want to be on the next one?
2014-03-12 02:43:26 PM  
2 votes:
Buoyancy be damned, I am thinking AirPort 77 is the answer to this mystery.

www.jimusnr.com
2014-03-12 02:33:13 PM  
2 votes:
He'd have let us know sooner, but he's been trying to answer all those ringing phones at the crash site.
2014-03-12 02:20:28 PM  
2 votes:
That's what they want you to think.

i57.tinypic.com
2014-03-12 02:18:56 PM  
2 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com
2014-03-12 02:05:59 PM  
2 votes:
CIA Director claims it could have been anything.  *note to self "Did we do this?"
2014-03-12 01:53:14 PM  
2 votes:
2014-03-12 01:46:42 PM  
2 votes:

BigNumber12: brap: People try to gain fame by hoax-reporting flaming airlines crashing into the sea? What sort of vile pond scum would do that?

Homo sapiens sapiens


You must really like sapiens.
2014-03-12 01:43:58 PM  
2 votes:
There is no mystery the plane simply disappeared.
2014-03-12 01:40:18 PM  
2 votes:

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: /I think we can all agree that the whole response by Malaysia has been a cluster fark though.

The fact that you can fly a commercial airliner across the country without detection as to be fairly embarrassing to their military.


Yep, and they can't even get that story straight.  First they said they tracked it heading west.  Then they came out and said they never said that.  And then later said well maybe we saw something on our radar, but we can't confirm if it was the missing plane or a different plane.

Real great air security there.  And we're what, nearly 5 days from it going missing and they still haven't figured out what they saw?  The government has also said they'd accept help from shamens in finding the plane, provided the 'magic' used doesn't conflict with Islam.  Magic?

I know if I'm going to invade a country via air attack, it will be Malaysia.  I'll have taken over the government and changed the official language to Esperanto long before the military figures out they've been attacked.
Bf+
2014-03-12 01:36:18 PM  
2 votes:

vpb: It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.


Disappearing an entire plane?  Now that's some hoax!
Waaaaiiiiit a minute... Where's David Copperfield during all this?
2014-03-12 12:39:30 PM  
2 votes:
biatch you lie.
2014-03-12 06:03:03 PM  
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I looked at the image, and thought "those look like saltlicks, but why?"


The phrase "Take this with a grain of salt"
2014-03-12 05:51:14 PM  
1 votes:
I'm beginning to doubt that there ever was a plane in the first place.
2014-03-12 04:49:16 PM  
1 votes:

brap: People try to gain fame by hoax-reporting flaming airlines crashing into the sea?  What sort of vile pond scum would do that?  Is this some sort of dick enlargement metaphor?


rogueoperator.files.wordpress.com
2014-03-12 04:34:58 PM  
1 votes:
WTFDYW

P: Pilot relief tube not long enough
S: Extended pilot relief tube. Check good with enlisted dick
2014-03-12 03:50:19 PM  
1 votes:

Pinner: Whatchoo Talkinbout: gaslight: Well, a plane breaking apart at tens of thousands of feet in the sky, travelling at hundreds of miles per hour would result in confetti. The forces at work on the aluminum, steel, carbon fibre and plastic would likely spread the débris over a large area and in many small pieces. It may well be that the area was searched before but the pieces were too small to have been spotted from the air.

Anyone remember how a fuel tank spark destroyed a plane flying from New York to Paris a few years ago? It may have been as "simple" as that.

Many large pieces made it to the sea more or less intact. Similarly the shuttle was traveling at 17,000 MPH and reentering the atmosphere when it left many large and heavy pieces intact to hit Texas. Something made it down, something is floating. Carry on the mystery.

No doubt. Rocket fuel is going to eat debris way faster than jet fuel on the way down.
There would have to be something floating in the sea.
Unless those fart-sponge seat cushions exploded too.


One night only, the Fart-Sponge Seat Cushions.  Couldn't help myself.
2014-03-12 03:03:01 PM  
1 votes:

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: rynthetyn: My sister's aviation engineer inlaw seems to think that Boeing and the airline have a better idea of what's what than they're saying but that they aren't wanting to admit that they know because if they do their stock prices are going to plummet faster than the plane did.

Your sister's inlaw is a conspiracy theory nutjob, and probably not a very good aviation engineer.....


img.fark.net


/I've been waiting to see a comment from you again
//I am posting this as a funny joke and I hope you think it's funny too that I am following up from yesterday
///don't really kill yourself
2014-03-12 03:02:16 PM  
1 votes:

rynthetyn: jaytkay: rynthetyn: I have in my address book several Vietnamese government employees who are using hotmail or yahoo accounts for work email, so it's not that big a stretch that employees of a Vietnamese oil company might do the same.

I have corresponded with a prince and several former government officials from Nigeria who use Hotmail.

 These are people I know in real life.


I know, but the setup for the joke could not be resisted
2014-03-12 02:53:32 PM  
1 votes:

Deep Contact: I'm the first to report a meteor hit the plane in the perfect spot to avoid explosion but take it down.


Actually, CNN earlier today had the "hit by meteor" theory...
2014-03-12 02:44:58 PM  
1 votes:
I blame Mugato.

media.giphy.com
2014-03-12 02:39:07 PM  
1 votes:

Killer Cars: Sticky Hands: Like the rumor that it was hijacked by the co-pilot, and the Malaysian military has known where it is all along because they shot it down?

That would be a better "look" for the Malaysian military compared to whatever the hell they've been doing since.

Maybe I'm conflating some of the earlier hoaxes/unconfirmed reports and being too hard on them as a result, but a 6 year old drawing lines on an etch-o-sketch would produce more consistent flight paths, coordinates, and basic narratives than they've produced.


Like this?

assets.nydailynews.com
2014-03-12 02:31:54 PM  
1 votes:
I'm the first to report a meteor hit the plane in the perfect spot to avoid explosion but take it down.
2014-03-12 02:22:23 PM  
1 votes:

abhorrent1: A hotmail address to a gmail address? It's an oil company. They can't afford company email addresses?

Fake


THIS. It's not like this guy is the Governor of Alaska.
2014-03-12 02:20:21 PM  
1 votes:

brap: People try to gain fame by hoax-reporting flaming airlines crashing into the sea?  What sort of vile pond scum would do that?  Is this some sort of dick enlargement metaphor?


Magorn: nekom: vpb: It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.

If it is a hoax (and it well could be) it was very well executed.  Everything seems to add up, at least at first glance.

The company has confirmed the email is genuine, but apparently the area described has been searched
without success so far



Even if its reported, doesn't mean its automatically for real:


i.cdn.turner.com
2014-03-12 02:19:14 PM  
1 votes:

scotchlandia: I just saw a flying squirrel.


Now is not the time for kooky Canadian UFO conspiracies
2014-03-12 02:07:59 PM  
1 votes:
The Langoliers finally caught up to them.
2014-03-12 01:57:57 PM  
1 votes:
I just saw a flying squirrel.
2014-03-12 01:54:25 PM  
1 votes:
www.netanimations.net
2014-03-12 01:49:32 PM  
1 votes:

PreMortem: Why would aliens stage a catastrophy? No good reason.


Ruby Thewes can spell better than you.
2014-03-12 01:48:08 PM  
1 votes:

Bf+: vpb: It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.

Disappearing an entire plane?  Now that's some hoax!
Waaaaiiiiit a minute... Where's David Copperfield during all this?



On his private island raping a plane full of asian chicks.
2014-03-12 01:45:11 PM  
1 votes:
"De Plane, De Plane!"
2014-03-12 01:38:03 PM  
1 votes:
Youtube video, or it didn't happen.
2014-03-12 01:30:22 PM  
1 votes:
It's the Malaysian Calendar predicts the end of the world! Fiery objects flying and falling from the sky!.........
2014-03-12 12:56:12 PM  
1 votes:
i00.i.aliimg.com
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-03-12 12:46:42 PM  
1 votes:
It could easily be a hoax.  Internet hoaxers have gotten good at paying attention to detail.
2014-03-12 11:46:42 AM  
1 votes:
People try to gain fame by hoax-reporting flaming airlines crashing into the sea?  What sort of vile pond scum would do that?  Is this some sort of dick enlargement metaphor?
 
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