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(PennLive)   For those of you who do not know, who is St. Patrick?   (pennlive.com) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, St. Patrick's, Emerald Isle  
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3114 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 1:17 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-03-12 11:38:49 AM
He's the excuse I use to get annually wasted.
 
2014-03-12 11:44:30 AM
Is it just me or does it look like St. Patrick is holding a ciagarette in his right hand?
 
2014-03-12 12:21:13 PM
And I'll get in a drunken brawl with the first person who posts a bunch of unwarranted Irish stereotypes.
 
2014-03-12 12:38:04 PM
Why are you asking me if I don't know?
 
2014-03-12 01:18:13 PM
Screw St. Patrick. St. Urho's the real deal.
 
2014-03-12 01:19:38 PM
Patron said of Bad Sports Announcers.
 
2014-03-12 01:19:59 PM
He's an excuse for Americans to get drunk. Be sure to thank him.
 
2014-03-12 01:20:24 PM
He invented green beer.....
 
2014-03-12 01:20:59 PM
Clearly, he is piccolo from dragon ball Z.

It's the only explanation for the green thing.
 
2014-03-12 01:21:19 PM
Green beer and green bagels. Can't wait.
 
2014-03-12 01:21:25 PM
Tl; dr... *takes a shot of Jameson*
 
2014-03-12 01:27:29 PM
he's the f*cking reason you can't spend a March weekend in Boston without a 20-something non-Irish dude wearing some green and telling you he's more Irish than you then trying to fight you over it as long as his friends outnumber yours.
/He retreats to the bleachers sometime in April where he'll tell you he's a bigger Red Sox fan than you.
 
2014-03-12 01:28:03 PM

uncleacid: Green beer and green bagels. Can't wait.


*GASP*

Don't do that. You'll give yourself a headache and look like an amateur. Try this instead:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-03-12 01:29:30 PM
Only 5 more days 'til St. Patti's Day!
 
2014-03-12 01:30:31 PM

bdub77: He's the excuse I use to get annually wasted.


Oh my god I thought you said anally wasted.
 
2014-03-12 01:30:56 PM
Few people know the story of exactly how he drove out the snakes. He stood on a broad plain, raised his arms and said "Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarkin' snakes on this motherfarkin' plain!"
 
2014-03-12 01:34:20 PM

zulius: Tl; dr... *takes a shot of Jameson*


You poor thing...Jameson is high in grain, low in malt...have a Redbreast.
 
2014-03-12 01:35:24 PM
"Magonius Sucatus Patricius was a British man..."

I know that stories of his origins vary, but while he may have been born in the British Isles, wasn't he the Roman son of a Roman diplomat ?

Doesn't this make him more Italian than British ?
 
2014-03-12 01:35:45 PM

Werehamster: Few people know the story of exactly how he drove out the snakes. He stood on a broad plain, raised his arms and said "Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarkin' snakes on this motherfarkin' plain!"


img.fark.net
 
2014-03-12 01:35:51 PM

Tangenital: bdub77: He's the excuse I use to get annually wasted.

Oh my god I thought you said anally wasted.


Hmm... sometimes poop is green.  I guess that's festive.
 
2014-03-12 01:37:07 PM

Werehamster: Few people know the story of exactly how he drove out the snakes. He stood on a broad plain, raised his arms and said "Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarkin' snakes on this motherfarkin' plain!"


A new keyboard please.
 
2014-03-12 01:42:49 PM
St. Patrick? Isn't she the chick that drives the Go Daddy car in NASCAR (usually near the back of the pack)?

vegas-to-you.com
 
2014-03-12 01:46:46 PM
I always wear red on St. Paddy day to be contrary.

/ drink tawny port instead of crappy green beer too.
 
2014-03-12 01:48:37 PM
Saint Patricius (the name means Patrician and indicates noble ancestry) was a Welshman, although I have seen attempts to claim him by Scots. He was captured and enslaved by the Irish. When he gained his freedom, rather than go home to Wales he sought his revenge on the savage Irish by going back and converting them to Christianity. His feast day was once March 16 and March 18. Another Saint stepped into the dispute over the dates by splitting the difference and declaring March 17 Saint Patrick's Day.

Saint Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland (can you name the patron saints of Scotland, England and Wales?).

He is said to have driven the snakes out of Ireland, but in reality, it was the Ice Age that did that. By the time the ice retreated, Ireland was cut off from the mainland by rising sea levels and the Irish Sea.

It was long believe that Saint Patrick's magic was so strong that Irish soil would drive away snakes. There was a thriving trade in the stuff in the larger of the two British Isles. Skeptics could not be having with that and attempted to disprove the myth scientifically. They did this by exposing snakes to Irish soil. One man went so far as to smuggle a viper into Ireland. It should have died mid-sea on the way to Ireland but it didn't. In fact it bit some Irish person in the proto-scientist's garden. It did not die from the bite. But if IRCC, the Irish person did.

So that proved once and for all that Irishmen are not poisonous to snakes. Bite them all you like. Or buy a pot of Irish shamrocks direct from Irish greenhouses. It will not kill your pet snakes unless it contains a viper or some sort of disease or something.

This may sound like foolishness I made up, but every word of it is true and I am willing to swear upon my Mother's grave that it is so. At the present time I do not know where my Mother's grave is located as she is still alive and kicking. With any luck she'll out live me but should I hear that she and my Father have settled on a grave plot, I'll let you know that this post contains no lies.
 
2014-03-12 01:54:10 PM
Some snakes are good swimmers but they are not good enough swimmers to cross the Irish sea, which is as cold as witch's teats.

Snakes are believed to have lost their legs during a marine stage of their evolution, or else while they were burrowing animals, like certain legless lizards such as skinks. There are fossil sea snakes from Israel which date back over 90 million years.

Perhaps these inspired the idea that snakes once had legs and were deprived of leggy locomotion by God when they tempted Adam and Eve to disobey their Master. Some snakes still have vestigial leg-bones, however, so maybe that was the clue, like the leg bones of some whales.

Two-legged snakes are found in the fossil record, and there are two-legged lizards.

This stuff is also true, but I think I will swear on my Father's grave for a little variety.
 
2014-03-12 01:54:44 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: St. Patrick? Isn't she the chick that drives the Go Daddy car in NASCAR (usually near the back of the pack)?

[vegas-to-you.com image 850x566]


.....or the wall. Just sayin'.
 
2014-03-12 01:55:26 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-03-12 01:56:44 PM
He didn't slaughter the peacemakers on the 15th day... he waited until the 16th day, when they trusted him.

He killed our enemies, burnt their churches and then went to hell to ask Jesus to increase the severity of their punishment.
 
2014-03-12 01:58:52 PM
St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, according to legend. However, today we understand that Ireland is snakeless because of its climate and the fact that the water that surrounds it is too cold for British snakes to migrate over. The snakes are believed to be symbolic, meaning the pagan religions.

Gee-hod them pagan mother-farkers.
 
2014-03-12 02:00:45 PM
As I was named after saint Patrick, I looked up his history and read his life story.

While christanity in general paints a fairly rosy picture, the facts of the matter are not at all positive.  It would not be unfair to pronounce him an unrepentant murderer who not only advocated genocide towards the pagans, but actively participated in it.   He'd use deceit to rile up communities in fear, claiming they kidnapped children, poisoned their crops and animals, and so on, and get them to lynch whole groups en masse.  It was, effectively, the irish version of the inquisition, with wide scale religious persecution which has colored the culture of ireland to affect it to this day (see catholics vs. protestants).

This isn't really that surprising.  Conversion by the sword was a mainstay of religions of that time.

What is surprising that we still think he's great.  I hate to Godwin my own post, but he was the hitler to the pagans-as-jew.
 
2014-03-12 02:02:23 PM
They didn't even mention his Corned Beef and Cabbage recipe. It is to die for.
 
2014-03-12 02:05:47 PM
For those of you who don't know, bullshiat qualifiers make you look like a moran, subby

/for those of you who don't know, it's a pet peeve
//for those of you who do know, it's a pet peeve
///harumph
 
2014-03-12 02:09:20 PM
I will admit to unabashedly enjoying the Dallas Greenville St. Patrick's day parade. There is an undeniable energy about 100,000 people gathered along a relatively short stretch of road to watch strippers in hot tubs on flat bed trucks throwing beads and herpes. On that one magical day the rules are suspended and people can drink out in public without fear of arrest (as long as they don't do anything stupid of course).

I brew an English pale ale and a dry Irish stout, fill up a couple of growlers and then hop the train to get out there early near the end of the parade route. We stay until almost the end of the parade then walk to Trinity Hall in Mockingbird station. Have a few beers there then catch the train home once it starts getting too packed around 3:00 pm or so.
 
2014-03-12 02:12:29 PM
St. Patrick must be the patron saint of 20-something Hoboken douche-bags who can't hold their liquor.
 
2014-03-12 02:12:59 PM
According to science there never were any snakes in Ireland.

Paddy was a conman. (Maybe he was Scottish after all)
 
2014-03-12 02:14:04 PM
Isn't he the deaf, dumb and blind guy who learned to read while hiding from the Nazis in an attic?
 
2014-03-12 02:14:21 PM

brantgoose: Saint Patricius (the name means Patrician and indicates noble ancestry) was a Welshman, although I have seen attempts to claim him by Scots. He was captured and enslaved by the Irish. When he gained his freedom, rather than go home to Wales he sought his revenge on the savage Irish by going back and converting them to Christianity. His feast day was once March 16 and March 18. Another Saint stepped into the dispute over the dates by splitting the difference and declaring March 17 Saint Patrick's Day.

Saint Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland (can you name the patron saints of Scotland, England and Wales?).

He is said to have driven the snakes out of Ireland, but in reality, it was the Ice Age that did that. By the time the ice retreated, Ireland was cut off from the mainland by rising sea levels and the Irish Sea.

It was long believe that Saint Patrick's magic was so strong that Irish soil would drive away snakes. There was a thriving trade in the stuff in the larger of the two British Isles. Skeptics could not be having with that and attempted to disprove the myth scientifically. They did this by exposing snakes to Irish soil. One man went so far as to smuggle a viper into Ireland. It should have died mid-sea on the way to Ireland but it didn't. In fact it bit some Irish person in the proto-scientist's garden. It did not die from the bite. But if IRCC, the Irish person did.

So that proved once and for all that Irishmen are not poisonous to snakes. Bite them all you like. Or buy a pot of Irish shamrocks direct from Irish greenhouses. It will not kill your pet snakes unless it contains a viper or some sort of disease or something.

This may sound like foolishness I made up, but every word of it is true and I am willing to swear upon my Mother's grave that it is so. At the present time I do not know where my Mother's grave is located as she is still alive and kicking. With any luck she'll out live me but should I hear that she and my Father have settled on a gr ...


Isn't the patron saint of England St. George?
 
2014-03-12 02:17:00 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-03-12 02:19:21 PM

capt.hollister: "Magonius Sucatus Patricius was a British man..."

I know that stories of his origins vary, but while he may have been born in the British Isles, wasn't he the Roman son of a Roman diplomat ?

Doesn't this make him more Italian than British ?


It's generally accepted that he was the son of a local "Roman" official. Given the way things were done at that time, it meant he was of "British" (Celtic--ancestors to the Cornish and Welsh) stock but heavily Romanized in Culture. A tiny, tiny, tiny minority of the Roman Empire was actually Italic in ancestry. The weren't like modern empires that imposed racist criteria for being of the "right stock". If you grew up speaking Latin or Greek and were born within the boundaries of the Empire, you were as Roman as any Caesar, when it came to Imperial identity. As for "Citizen of Rome", that was different. That meant you were actually considered an important person in the city of Rome, and many people born and raised in Rome never made it to "citizen of Rome".
 
2014-03-12 02:23:00 PM

Silly_Sot: capt.hollister: "Magonius Sucatus Patricius was a British man..."

I know that stories of his origins vary, but while he may have been born in the British Isles, wasn't he the Roman son of a Roman diplomat ?

Doesn't this make him more Italian than British ?

It's generally accepted that he was the son of a local "Roman" official. Given the way things were done at that time, it meant he was of "British" (Celtic--ancestors to the Cornish and Welsh) stock but heavily Romanized in Culture. A tiny, tiny, tiny minority of the Roman Empire was actually Italic in ancestry. The weren't like modern empires that imposed racist criteria for being of the "right stock". If you grew up speaking Latin or Greek and were born within the boundaries of the Empire, you were as Roman as any Caesar, when it came to Imperial identity. As for "Citizen of Rome", that was different. That meant you were actually considered an important person in the city of Rome, and many people born and raised in Rome never made it to "citizen of Rome".


that was the genius of the Roman empire.
subjugating people from the start tends to lead to revolt.
making them one of you and merely demanding taxes and military service tends to buy loyalty from people who you have just subjugated.
 
2014-03-12 02:23:04 PM
The article was one of the lower-bullshiat annual stories about St. Patrick. One thing it didn't note was that Ireland was already well along the way to becoming Christian. Druids and bards were having their children baptized and getting them recruited into the Church hierarchy--they saw which way the wind was blowing. Patrick regularized the administrative side of things. In fact, the Christianization of Ireland went so smoothly that Continental Christians took to criticizing Ireland for having had too few martyrs killed by pagans.
 
2014-03-12 02:28:34 PM

bdub77: He's the excuse I use to get annually wasted.


He banished the snakes from Ireland and into choirboys' backsides, where they writhe to this day! ERIN GO BRAGH!
 
2014-03-12 02:29:12 PM

Sybarite: And I'll get in a drunken brawl with the first person who posts a bunch of unwarranted Irish stereotypes.


And what about warranted ones?
 
2014-03-12 02:29:20 PM

capt.hollister: "Magonius Sucatus Patricius was a British man..."

I know that stories of his origins vary, but while he may have been born in the British Isles, wasn't he the Roman son of a Roman diplomat ?

Doesn't this make him more Italian than British ?


Check it out:
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/england/bath-roman-baths

It's a really nice place to visit. :)
 
2014-03-12 02:31:55 PM

mainsail: zulius: Tl; dr... *takes a shot of Jameson*

You poor thing...Jameson is high in grain, low in malt...have a Redbreast.


I approve of this post, and offer up a redhead's red breasts. Poor thing: needs some cooling balm.
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-03-12 02:33:30 PM
Damned xians.
 
2014-03-12 02:38:08 PM
He drove the snakes out of Ireland. They became the NYPD.
 
2014-03-12 02:41:05 PM

brantgoose: Saint Patricius (the name means Patrician and indicates noble ancestry) was a Welshman, although I have seen attempts to claim him by Scots. He was captured and enslaved by the Irish. When he gained his freedom, rather than go home to Wales he sought his revenge on the savage Irish by going back and converting them to Christianity. His feast day was once March 16 and March 18. Another Saint stepped into the dispute over the dates by splitting the difference and declaring March 17 Saint Patrick's Day.

Saint Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland (can you name the patron saints of Scotland, England and Wales?).


St. George for England
St. Andrew for Scotland
No clue about Wales (St. Llywlyndlydnyllk?)

I always heard that the "drive out the snakes" myth was an allusion to Patrick converting pagans to Christianity.  "Snakes" being symbols for pagan traditions (aka demon worship) and Patrick "driving" them to extinction (i.e. getting them out of Irish culture).
 
2014-03-12 02:48:38 PM
He's the patron saint of Amateur Hour
 
2014-03-12 03:00:17 PM

syberpud: brantgoose: Saint Patricius (the name means Patrician and indicates noble ancestry) was a Welshman, although I have seen attempts to claim him by Scots. He was captured and enslaved by the Irish. When he gained his freedom, rather than go home to Wales he sought his revenge on the savage Irish by going back and converting them to Christianity. His feast day was once March 16 and March 18. Another Saint stepped into the dispute over the dates by splitting the difference and declaring March 17 Saint Patrick's Day.

Saint Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland (can you name the patron saints of Scotland, England and Wales?).

St. George for England
St. Andrew for Scotland
No clue about Wales (St. Llywlyndlydnyllk?)

I always heard that the "drive out the snakes" myth was an allusion to Patrick converting pagans to Christianity.  "Snakes" being symbols for pagan traditions (aka demon worship) and Patrick "driving" them to extinction (i.e. getting them out of Irish culture).


St David is the Welsh St. Just missed his feast day. March 1st.

St Davids cross is like the English one but a white cross on a black field...

... or is it a gold cross on a black field?

One is Cornwall and one is St. Davids... always confuse the two.


Incidentally the red dragon on the Welsh flag is from a legend where a red dragon chased off a white dragon. This was prophesized to mean the Welsh would rise up and chase the English out of Britain.

(White dragon on a red field was England's flag prior to 1066)
 
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