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(Celebslam)   Them's Britney Spears' fancy jean shorts   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 98
    More: Interesting, Britney Spears, humans, America Ferrera, Demi Lovato, Rosario Dawson, LAX airport, Jeremy Piven, Ed Sullivan Theater  
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8726 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Mar 2014 at 12:50 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-03-12 12:53:24 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-12 12:54:23 PM
Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...
 
2014-03-12 12:56:59 PM
Come guys, she should be commended for making those herself. I never thought that you could cut denim with those rounded-end kiddy scissors.
 
2014-03-12 01:00:40 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Christ man, unless she's deployed or in a coma, get out while you can.
 
2014-03-12 01:02:07 PM
Dem UGGs.
 
2014-03-12 01:03:22 PM
celebslam.celebuzz.com
 
2014-03-12 01:04:02 PM
Yuck - Uggs.
 
2014-03-12 01:05:13 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Find a new one.
 
2014-03-12 01:06:01 PM
On her reality show, her dad was making taco's or something and called shredded cheese, sprinkle cheese.  My wife and I laughed about that for like 10 minutes and now that's what we call it. So much that before I typed this I had to really think hard and remember back to what it is actually called.
 
2014-03-12 01:13:48 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


How could you be engaged and not have sex in 11 months?  Bail now.
 
2014-03-12 01:17:31 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


That sucks dude. When was the last time she got laid? Probably a lot sooner
 
2014-03-12 01:23:44 PM
I'd gladly remove them with my teeth.
 
2014-03-12 01:25:32 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

That sucks dude. When was the last time she got laid? Probably a lot sooner


Man, thats cold! Just because she is probably stepping out on him, you shouldn't rub his face in it.

\Unless he likes that sort of thing.
 
2014-03-12 01:31:52 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Uh, it's not going to get better when you get married...
 
2014-03-12 01:33:42 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


You're a farking idiot.
 
2014-03-12 01:36:33 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Dude..........
 
2014-03-12 01:38:04 PM
Even for a Britney thread, this seems to have gone sideways rather quickly.
 
2014-03-12 01:42:25 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.
 
2014-03-12 01:54:58 PM
Nice headline, subby.

/farking hack.
 
2014-03-12 01:55:23 PM
Anyone who knows anything knows that this isn't Britney. This is Lurlene, her replacement. Britney died years ago after being assassinated by the Westboro Baptist Church during a gay-friendly Pepsi ad.
 
2014-03-12 01:56:40 PM

James Rieper: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.


Kids are what really slows things down, when you get in the room and they are not near and it is quite you just want it to stay that way
 
2014-03-12 02:03:44 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


It sounds like she is just hanging around while looking for someone else.
 
2014-03-12 02:04:21 PM

El_Frijole_Blanco: James Rieper: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.

Kids are what really slows things down, when you get in the room and they are not near and it is quite you just want it to stay that way


She could be in the hospital or have a serious medical condition you callous farkwads.
 
2014-03-12 02:11:28 PM

The Googles Do Nothing: El_Frijole_Blanco: James Rieper: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.

Kids are what really slows things down, when you get in the room and they are not near and it is quite you just want it to stay that way

She could be in the hospital or have a serious medical condition you callous farkwads.


That's why he's not bitter at all, right?
 
2014-03-12 02:14:12 PM

James Rieper: Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.


Sure. AFTER marriage. And even then, quite a few years after marriage.

With fiancees you should still be at the knocking boots until sunrise stage.
 
2014-03-12 02:22:46 PM

The Googles Do Nothing: El_Frijole_Blanco: James Rieper: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

Keep in mind that things tend to slow down a bit after marriage.  (I'm sure not with the people reading this thread, who are of course all bobcats in the sack.)  But perhaps you should envision a future that has even longer dry spells.

Kids are what really slows things down, when you get in the room and they are not near and it is quite you just want it to stay that way

She could be in the hospital or have a serious medical condition you callous farkwads.


It sounds like they're in an open relationship and he's not getting anything, not even his fiance, and she's out sarking and farking to her content....... that's how I read into it.
 
2014-03-12 02:24:04 PM

animal900: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

You're a farking idiot.


Sounds more like she's farking the idiot

/or not farking the idiot, whatever
 
2014-03-12 02:29:15 PM
Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.
 
2014-03-12 02:31:59 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.



Wow, dude.  Sorry.  That's difficult on everyone on all sides.

At the end of the day however, you are not married and didn't take those vows.
 
2014-03-12 02:34:49 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


Well, I was way off.  Good luck to you.
 
2014-03-12 02:35:34 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


In all seriousness, you need to have a serious conversation with her ASAP. Don't give her an ultimatum, be caring and compassionate for what she went/is going through. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Remember she may be open to "non-traditional" sex as an option. I don't mean butt-sex, but use your imagination.
 
2014-03-12 02:37:42 PM

NuclearPenguins: The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.


"Hey Coach! Blow me or trade me!"

Seriously, she sounds like a self-absorbed, selfish twit that you'd be better off without. Tell her to flip her past around to behind her where it belongs, come on down from her cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and get the fark over it.
 
2014-03-12 02:39:25 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


Yeah, this is what I came in to the Britney jean shorts thread for.
 
2014-03-12 02:39:47 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


Why can't she blow you?
 
2014-03-12 02:45:08 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


Thread successfully jacked in 2.
 
2014-03-12 02:45:28 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


Do not marry this person. Under ANY circumstances. Ultimatum for you means temporary compromise for her, and once you are legally bound, you will have less options than you do right now.

You caught an inedible fish. Throw it back, and cut some bait.


I stopped short of all caps at least.
 
2014-03-12 02:49:30 PM

snoopydoo: NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...

Thread successfully jacked in 2.


Yeah, I kind of regret posting now. I let my bitterness get the better of me.

Apologies to everyone!
 
2014-03-12 02:51:05 PM

H31N0US: Do not marry this person. Under ANY circumstances. Ultimatum for you means temporary compromise for her, and once you are legally bound, you will have less options than you do right now.

You caught an inedible fish. Throw it back, and cut some bait.


THIS.
 
2014-03-12 02:53:44 PM

NuclearPenguins: Yeah, I kind of regret posting now. I let my bitterness get the better of me.


No, dude. You need a support system to remind you that you're supposed to be HALF of the equation. All that's happening right now is that you're pandering to her for no good reason at all, and she's totally ignoring your needs like a selfish coont.

Fark is ultimately qualified to be that support system. We have the anonymity to snap you back to reality.
 
2014-03-12 02:55:31 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


Dude, there's a pretty good chance she not only fears but resents sex. More importantly, she resents having sex WITH you. If she hasn't at least offered at least a hand job or bj or anal, that might be the case. And that will require hardcore psychiatric help.
 
2014-03-12 02:55:58 PM

HAMMERTOE: NuclearPenguins: Yeah, I kind of regret posting now. I let my bitterness get the better of me.

No, dude. You need a support system to remind you that you're supposed to be HALF of the equation. All that's happening right now is that you're pandering to her for no good reason at all, and she's totally ignoring your needs like a selfish coont.

Fark is ultimately qualified to be that support system. We have the anonymity to snap you back to reality.



We also explode vans.

warosu.org
 
2014-03-12 02:59:13 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


You're far too young.  My advice?  Walk away and find someone else.
 
2014-03-12 03:04:56 PM

NuclearPenguins: Still better than anything I've hit in the past year.

/With apologies to my fiancee
//Hasn't had sex with said fiancee in 11 months
///Not bitter at all, no...


haha.jpg
 
2014-03-12 03:15:15 PM

HAMMERTOE: NuclearPenguins: Yeah, I kind of regret posting now. I let my bitterness get the better of me.

No, dude. You need a support system to remind you that you're supposed to be HALF of the equation. All that's happening right now is that you're pandering to her for no good reason at all, and she's totally ignoring your needs like a selfish coont.

Fark is ultimately qualified to be that support system. We have the anonymity to snap you back to reality.


Yeah, because nothing says 'sensible relationship counselling from people who know what what they're talking about' than the comments sections of a thread about Britney Spears wearing jean shorts. ,
 
2014-03-12 03:15:26 PM

smoky2010: NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.

In all seriousness, you need to have a serious conversation with her ASAP. Don't give her an ultimatum, be caring and compassionate for what she went/is going through. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Remember she may be open to "non-traditional" sex as an option. I don't mean butt-sex, but use your imagination.


That's some heavy stuff.  My sympathies to you both.

Not for nothing, but outside of sex, this obviously has a big impact on the decision to have kids (biological or otherwise) or not.  Compatibility on that is one of the big three dealbreakers in any marriage.

Sex or no sex, you also have to put yourself in the equation at some point.  If you're still not communicating and can't find a way to start, that's a whole lot of heartbreak up ahead.

I do know a couple that got past this (and are now the parents of two lovely girls). Best of luck.
 
2014-03-12 03:24:11 PM
Yeah, it was kind of deep, I've been with my wife for 21 years and you learn things over time. I'm trying to pass on my knowledge. Also, sometimes, FARK is where people try to glean some actual advice from the other people. We can't be snarky to everyone, every time. The guy needs some support, this is my good deed for the day.
 
2014-03-12 03:24:30 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


If you will pardon my asking ... Was this failed pregnancy "a few years ago" with you? Do you feel a burden of guilt for her present condition?
 
2014-03-12 03:24:42 PM

NuclearPenguins: Well, this thread has made me even more depressed than I was before.

The backstory: A few years ago sexytime ended badly for her as she developed a tubal pregnancy that ruptured and nearly killed her due to internal bleeding. She ended up losing one of her ovaries because of this. After the healing period she became less and less interested in sex. Nowadays she gets pissed off if I even bring the subject of sex up.

I'd tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses.

Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


well have that conversation and get a result that satisfies you before the "I do's" because afterwards the phase "I want out" comes with a hefty price tag.  not that it isn't worth it mind you but you're better spending that cash and all that time on your next lady.
 
2014-03-12 03:28:17 PM

NuclearPenguins: Sooner or later I'm going to break down and give her the ultimatum of therapy, letting me fark someone else with her blessing, or ending the 8-year relationship. I'm 33 and far too young to give up on sex for the rest of my life.


"Therapy ultimatum" is a contradiction - if someone doesn't want to go, then forcing them won't get them any closer to a resolution. Even if she does agree to go, therapy is no guarantee that she will reach the conclusion that you want her to, or be on your timeline.

You have to make choices that are best for your life. Yes, discuss your challenges openly and non-accusingly as best you can, but at the end of the day the choice is yours - accept your life with her as-is, accept a risky promise of potential change, or move on.

/good luck to you both, whatever happens.
 
2014-03-12 03:30:29 PM
Wow, this thread needs to get back on track stat!

www.meltedbrain.com

/seriously, dude- run away from her
//NOW
 
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