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(Daily Mail)   Not news: Divorce attorney wins 100k for her client. Still not news: Keeps a percentage for herself. FARK: 100%   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 35
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13054 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 4:36 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-12 12:45:02 AM
Sounds like she found the pill bottle. Judging from that picture it sure wasn't meth.
 
2014-03-12 12:58:07 AM
This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with moder medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.
 
2014-03-12 01:30:56 AM
Well, the girl's gotta eat, apparently.
 
2014-03-12 02:32:50 AM
Stolen from a joke thread last year:

A wealthy man dies, in the prime of his life, and wants to take his fortune - almost a million dollars - with him into the afterlife.  But he doesn't trust the undertakers.  So he leaves instructions in his will that his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer - are to each put one-third of his money into plain paper bags, and then place the bags into his grave with him when he's buried.

The service is touching, the eulogy is moving; the three friends each perform their task, the grave is filled, and finally, all the other mourners leave.  Just the three friends remain.

The priest looks around, then admits to the other two "I must confess, I feel a bit guilty.  When I saw all that cash, I kept back $20,000 for a new roof on the orphanage."

The doctor says "That's a relief.  I kept $50,000 of the cash for a new x-ray machine for the hospital."

The lawyer shakes his head.  "I'm disappointed in both of you, failing to fulfill our old friend's last wishes.  I put in a check for the full amount."
 
2014-03-12 04:43:04 AM
So the money goes in Trust and she takes it all out. How in the world could you possibly not expect to get caught?
Is her line of thinking, "Maybe nobody will notice the account is empty"?
 
2014-03-12 04:47:27 AM

4tehsnowflakes: Stolen from a joke thread last year:

A wealthy man dies, in the prime of his life, and wants to take his fortune - almost a million dollars - with him into the afterlife.  But he doesn't trust the undertakers.  So he leaves instructions in his will that his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer - are to each put one-third of his money into plain paper bags, and then place the bags into his grave with him when he's buried.

The service is touching, the eulogy is moving; the three friends each perform their task, the grave is filled, and finally, all the other mourners leave.  Just the three friends remain.

The priest looks around, then admits to the other two "I must confess, I feel a bit guilty.  When I saw all that cash, I kept back $20,000 for a new roof on the orphanage."

The doctor says "That's a relief.  I kept $50,000 of the cash for a new x-ray machine for the hospital."

The lawyer shakes his head.  "I'm disappointed in both of you, failing to fulfill our old friend's last wishes.  I put in a check for the full amount."


In my version of the joke, the lawyer make a check for the full million, and gets the cash as change.
 
2014-03-12 04:47:43 AM
Japanese people are immune to Christianity
 
2014-03-12 04:48:31 AM
But what a fox she is!
 
2014-03-12 04:55:36 AM
She's a lawyer. Enough said. Lawyers VS Politicians are, with one exception, the only competitors for worst people alive. The only folk that are worse are those select slimy assholes who manage to be both.
 
2014-03-12 05:03:41 AM
It's an old cliche. Man gets a divorce, woman gets all the money.

The cliche doesn't explicitly state which woman gets the money, though, so this lady must have thought she'd found a good loophole.
 
2014-03-12 05:23:36 AM
doglover:

This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.


It would be hard to exclude shysters... there would hardly be anyone left who wanted to be lawyers.  But in all seriousness, theft or loss of client's money is the number one reason for attorneys getting disciplined or disbarred by the local State Bar Association. Most of the time it involves sole practioners like this gal here (or small 2 or 3 man outfits) and most of the time it's due to sloppy accounting.


ransack.

Japanese people are immune to Christianity

Yes, I see.
 
2014-03-12 05:25:55 AM

4tehsnowflakes: Stolen from a joke thread last year:

A wealthy man dies, in the prime of his life, and wants to take his fortune - almost a million dollars - with him into the afterlife.  But he doesn't trust the undertakers.  So he leaves instructions in his will that his three best friends - a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer - are to each put one-third of his money into plain paper bags, and then place the bags into his grave with him when he's buried.

The service is touching, the eulogy is moving; the three friends each perform their task, the grave is filled, and finally, all the other mourners leave.  Just the three friends remain.

The priest looks around, then admits to the other two "I must confess, I feel a bit guilty.  When I saw all that cash, I kept back $20,000 for a new roof on the orphanage."

The doctor says "That's a relief.  I kept $50,000 of the cash for a new x-ray machine for the hospital."

The lawyer shakes his head.  "I'm disappointed in both of you, failing to fulfill our old friend's last wishes.  I put in a check for the full amount."


Shame on you, making me laugh so hard I woke children up...

...from three blocks away...
 
2014-03-12 05:47:50 AM

C18H27NO3: So the money goes in Trust and she takes it all out. How in the world could you possibly not expect to get caught?
Is her line of thinking, "Maybe nobody will notice the account is empty"?


She used her Super-Power of Attorney!

/makes money disappear
 
2014-03-12 06:03:53 AM
Id hit it like she'd hit me if I stole her cookie.
 
2014-03-12 06:34:22 AM
Y'all hate lawyers, but you won't once you get charged for a crime.
 
2014-03-12 06:35:27 AM
images4.static-bluray.com
 
2014-03-12 07:03:55 AM
Why fark: ? She's a lawyer after all.
 
2014-03-12 07:23:02 AM

KeatingFive: Y'all hate lawyers, but you won't once you get charged for a crime.


I'm pretty sure that this person is reprehensible. She stole 100,00 from him. I'm not sure what the guy should be "grateful" to her for, as you imply. Is it that, if one of us committed a crime, that a lawyer might perhaps take our money and then leave us in the lurch? Yes, this would definitely clear up our antipathy.
 
2014-03-12 07:32:29 AM

doglover: This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with modern medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.


Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?

People don`t care, you can insult lawyers any way you like, even Jewish ones like Dan.

pound of flesh and all that...

It`s simple, she was a women involved in a divorce case so she naturally assumed she could just walk away with all the money.
 
2014-03-12 07:48:02 AM
Early mornings at the gym expose me to a who new world of ads.  One is for a law firm that will get you justice and never charge you a fee unless they win and never charge more than the settlement.
 
2014-03-12 07:54:55 AM

dready zim: It`s simple, she was a women involved in a divorce case so she naturally assumed she could just walk away with all the money.


stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2014-03-12 07:58:27 AM
dready zim: doglover: This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with modern medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.

Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?

People don`t care, you can insult lawyers any way you like, even Jewish ones like Dan.

pound of flesh and all that...

It`s simple, she was a women involved in a divorce case so she naturally assumed she could just walk away with all the money.

I think you mean Shylock not Shyster.

/Jew
 
2014-03-12 08:00:32 AM

dready zim: doglover: This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with modern medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.

Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?


The etymology of the word is not generally agreed upon. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary says it is based on the German Scheißer (literally "defecator" but also used to refer to deceivers), but the Oxford English Dictionary describes it as "of obscure origin", possibly deriving from a historical sense of "shy" meaning disreputable. Various false etymologies have suggested an anti-Semitic origin, but there is no proof for that.
 
2014-03-12 08:09:18 AM

illannoyin: dready zim: doglover: This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with modern medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.

Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?

People don`t care, you can insult lawyers any way you like, even Jewish ones like Dan.

pound of flesh and all that...

It`s simple, she was a women involved in a divorce case so she naturally assumed she could just walk away with all the money.

I think you mean Shylock not Shyster.

/Jew


Uh...no he doesn't

/not Jew.
 
2014-03-12 08:26:18 AM
A scumbag lawyer? I'm shocked. SHOCKED!
 
2014-03-12 08:30:40 AM

robohobo: She's a lawyer. Enough said. Lawyers VS Politicians are, with one exception, the only competitors for worst people alive. The only folk that are worse are those select slimy assholes who manage to be both.


Democracy...where voters get exactly what they deserve...good and hard.  :)
 
2014-03-12 08:32:17 AM
She probably also sent them a bill for services rendered.
 
2014-03-12 08:51:14 AM

ransack.: Japanese people are immune to Christianity


Can we find a way to synthesize this? Without an attraction to tentacle pen as a side effect?
 
2014-03-12 09:19:17 AM

feckingmorons: Sounds like she found the pill bottle. Judging from that picture it sure wasn't meth.


I hope they catch her and put her on a diet.
 
2014-03-12 09:29:34 AM

EdgeRunner: It's an old cliche. Man gets a divorce, woman gets all the money.

The cliche doesn't explicitly state which woman gets the money, though, so this lady must have thought she'd found a good loophole.


The story goes on to include that a man will pay for her mistakes.  How long will her husband go along with this now that they are taking his money?  Sounds like she needs a divorce lawyer herself.

SDRR: She probably also sent them a bill for services rendered.


She did, it was stated of being less than $10K, so she isn't totally heartless.
 
2014-03-12 09:31:18 AM

dready zim: Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?


Fail
 
2014-03-12 09:54:38 AM

Geoff Peterson: illannoyin: dready zim: doglover: This is why the law should be set up to exclude shysters whenever possible.

Steamline it down. We know judicial duels don't work for deciding true objective legality. But with modern medicine and technology, we can have them and they'd be fun as shiat to watch.

Have people failed to get upset at your anti-semitism?

People don`t care, you can insult lawyers any way you like, even Jewish ones like Dan.

pound of flesh and all that...

It`s simple, she was a women involved in a divorce case so she naturally assumed she could just walk away with all the money.

I think you mean Shylock not Shyster.

/Jew

Uh...no he doesn't

/not Jew.


OJ?
 
2014-03-12 11:47:43 AM
FTFA: " with the court seizing her husbands pay as part of the settlement."

Terrifying.  Should put that story in a scared straight anti-marriage campaign....Right next tot the story about Tiger having to hand over 250 million because he banged a waitress.
 
2014-03-12 12:06:56 PM

ransack.: Japanese people are immune to Christianity


I can't figure out what that has to do with the article, but I did find a picture of Japanese Christians:

www.religionnewsblog.com
 
2014-03-12 03:44:35 PM
She looks like a grown up (and out) Cindy Brady.
 
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