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(KWQC Quad Cities)   Armed robber strikes Domino's Pizza at 11:30 AM. Management says the thief stole around $10 from them   (kwqc.com) divider line 34
    More: Dumbass, Domino's Pizza, Popular history, East Moline, robbery, Facebook Messages, Illinois State Police, Rock Island, missing persons  
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2024 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 1:11 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-12 12:29:58 AM  
Hmm. 10 dollars for 10 years in prison for Armed Robbery.

Sounds about right.
 
2014-03-12 12:38:28 AM  
Must have been payday, too
 
2014-03-12 12:42:17 AM  
It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things
 
2014-03-12 12:43:32 AM  

DanZero: It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things


He said, enjoying a slice of Little Caesars.
 
2014-03-12 01:25:39 AM  
I never understood criminal logic.

My brother is a cop, and during one of the times I spoke with him, he as a detective, investigating fraud.  I found it interesting, so I would occasionally ask him about his most recent arrests.

It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I don't get it.
 
2014-03-12 01:26:12 AM  

hardinparamedic: DanZero: It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things

He said, enjoying a slice of Little Caesars Hungry Howie's.

 
2014-03-12 01:27:56 AM  

DanZero: It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things


Dumpster diving comes to mind.
 
2014-03-12 01:29:55 AM  

hardinparamedic: DanZero: It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things

He said, enjoying a slice of Little Caesars.


Ahem,

Mazzio's, thank you very much.
 
2014-03-12 01:30:14 AM  
The suspect was wearing all black clothing

and had a black bandana covering his face.

the suspect displayed a small black handgun



That suspect sure likes black.
 
2014-03-12 01:32:22 AM  

TomD9938: The suspect was wearing all black clothing

and had a black bandana covering his face.

the suspect displayed a small black handgun


That suspect sure likes black.


Then he's gonna LOOOOOOOVE prison.
 
2014-03-12 01:37:48 AM  
Psst: businesses that deal in cash generally have change available. At the places I used to work, drawers typically started with $200. Granted, still not enough for an armed robbery, but a lot more $10.
 
2014-03-12 01:40:23 AM  

tripleseven: I never understood criminal logic.

My brother is a cop, and during one of the times I spoke with him, he as a detective, investigating fraud.  I found it interesting, so I would occasionally ask him about his most recent arrests.

It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I don't get it.


If your brother is ever investigating The Case of The Missing Commas, I think I know where he'll find them.
 
2014-03-12 01:44:34 AM  
One of the non teacher-sex involved crimes reported on Fark where the suspect clearly white.
 
2014-03-12 01:47:40 AM  

tripleseven: I never understood criminal logic.

My brother is a cop, and during one of the times I spoke with him, he as a detective, investigating fraud.  I found it interesting, so I would occasionally ask him about his most recent arrests.

It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I don't get it.


How many of these people have an opportunity to take so much money? We aren't all born with a stolen silver spoon.
 
2014-03-12 01:48:19 AM  

tripleseven: It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I dunno. Someone once said that if you steal $600, you can just disappear. If you steal $600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.

It was hard to tell for sure. He had a German accent on top of a fake American accent on top of his native accent. Kind of a Victor-Victoria of linguistics.
 
2014-03-12 01:54:42 AM  
This thread does not deliver.
 
2014-03-12 01:54:59 AM  

Perducci: tripleseven: I never understood criminal logic.

My brother is a cop, and during one of the times I spoke with him, he as a detective, investigating fraud.  I found it interesting, so I would occasionally ask him about his most recent arrests.

It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I don't get it.

If your brother is ever investigating The Case of The Missing Commas, I think I know where he'll find them.


All your comma are belong to me.
 
2014-03-12 01:56:07 AM  

ImpendingCynic: tripleseven: It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.
I dunno. Someone once said that if you steal $600, you can just disappear. If you steal $600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.

It was hard to tell for sure. He had a German accent on top of a fake American accent on top of his native accent. Kind of a Victor-Victoria of linguistics.


I just watched that again this past weekend. It's aged phenomenally well.
 
2014-03-12 01:57:25 AM  
Uh-oh, a Fark Headline with the word "pizza" in the headline.  It's only a matter of time before the Fark Pizza Hipster Brigade shows up to say "Chain restaurant pizza is gross, I only eat pizza from a pizza place that's so obscure that even I haven't heard of it."
 
2014-03-12 02:03:04 AM  
Pizza Hut pizza is gross, I only eat pizza from a Sbarros.
 
2014-03-12 02:03:44 AM  

tripleseven: I never understood criminal logic.

My brother is a cop, and during one of the times I spoke with him, he as a detective, investigating fraud.  I found it interesting, so I would occasionally ask him about his most recent arrests.

It shocked me to learn, most people committing fraud, or outright stealing from their employers made off with less than 10K.  Some as little as 2k.  Then they were caught, and served felony prison sentences.

I'd always thought, if you're facing felony charges for theft or fraud GO farkING BIG, NOTHING LESS THAN 5 MILLION SO YOU CAN DISAPPEAR AFTERWARDS.

I don't get it.


Beware of the false reasoning. You only know about the criminals who get caught and prosecuted. The banker that knowingly launders money and all the firm gets is a fine. The manager who has a cost-plus contract to clean, charges for three guys but only uses two. The contest management that charges a $20 entry fee for something thats really just a rouse. The fast food manager who hires "family" who are illegal aliens that pay him a kickback.

You know, the kinds of crimes too complicated to explain to an American jury.
 
2014-03-12 02:14:37 AM  

Mr. Ekshun: This thread does not deliver.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Oh ye of little faith!
 
2014-03-12 02:42:19 AM  

hardinparamedic: DanZero: It's nobody from Fark, we prefer pizza made of the finer things

He said, enjoying a slice of Little Caesars.


Is that even possible?
 
2014-03-12 03:37:33 AM  

That Guy Jeff: Psst: businesses that deal in cash generally have change available. At the places I used to work, drawers typically started with $200. Granted, still not enough for an armed robbery, but a lot more $10.


If the thief ever had a retail job then he might have known that.

But then if he had a job he probably wouldn't be robbing pizza joints at 11am on a Tuesday.
 
2014-03-12 03:43:30 AM  
I want to congratulate this criminal! 11 am is quite a feat sir! Even respectable people are up at that hour!
 
2014-03-12 03:48:00 AM  

offmymeds: Mr. Ekshun: This thread does not deliver.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 394x512]

Oh ye of little faith!


Hmm... anchovies. And an order of breadsticks.

/Hopefully there will be enough to go around.
 
2014-03-12 04:32:10 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Pizza Hut pizza is gross, I only eat pizza from a Sbarros.


Strombolies rock.
Cut into eight slices and turned on side to drain the grease. Dip into ranch ftw.
/Sabarro died the day the knife melted into goo.
 
2014-03-12 04:35:06 AM  

darkjezter: Uh-oh, a Fark Headline with the word "pizza" in the headline.  It's only a matter of time before the Fark Pizza Hipster Brigade shows up to say "Chain restaurant pizza is gross, I only eat pizza from a pizza place that's so obscure that even I haven't heard of it."


I don't mind some chain pizza places (Donatos is good, I don't mind Pizza Hut) but we used to have a family owned place called Catalfinos that had a pizza called the Champion (it had over 20 awards) that was Italian sausage, beef, bacon, ham and pepperoni with ricotta and provolone cheese....it was amazing, but they are closed now.
 
2014-03-12 04:52:32 AM  

darkjezter: Uh-oh, a Fark Headline with the word "pizza" in the headline.  It's only a matter of time before the Fark Pizza Hipster Brigade shows up to say "Chain restaurant pizza is gross, I only eat pizza from a pizza place that's so obscure that even I haven't heard of it."


Chain pizzas aren't much worse than any other fast food, but if there's a nearby family restaurant that makes their own dough and sauce and does it right, then that's the place that gets most of my business because their product just plain tastes better and I want them to stick around. There's a big difference between "Oh, I only eat weird and exotic foods because I believe that makes me seem more interesting somehow" versus "Don't be afraid to try new places, you might find something you really like."

I don't care what the hipsters or anti-hipsters say about my dinner preferences. The only opinion that holds any sway with me belongs to my taste buds.
 
2014-03-12 06:41:34 AM  
Holy Jeebus, chain pizza is so gross.  I only eat pizza from a pizza place so obscure you've never heard of it.
 
2014-03-12 09:06:11 AM  

TomD9938: The suspect was wearing all black clothing

and had a black bandana covering his face.

the suspect displayed a small black handgun


That suspect sure likes black.


He was planning his escape would involve hiding in the shadows.

/we still see you Flo
//I'm pretty sure you can't
 
2014-03-12 09:20:13 AM  
I fully confess to liking Pizza Hut pizza but Dominos is just horrid.  Chains primarily offer consistency as a draw, and true to form Dominos is consistently bad.
 
2014-03-12 09:27:06 AM  

Mr. Ekshun: offmymeds: Mr. Ekshun: This thread does not deliver.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 394x512]

Oh ye of little faith!

Hmm... anchovies. And an order of breadsticks.

/Hopefully there will be enough to go around.


Ah, so that's where the loaves & fishes came from.

Now it makes sense...
 
2014-03-12 11:31:31 AM  
And this is why idiots shouldn't get stoned and watch Heat at 8 AM.
 
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