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(Daily Mail)   It's spring in Canada, which means you can't even turn around without without running into a ball of hundreds of writhing snakes bigger than your head trying desperately to mate with a single female. Warning: link has snakes   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 85
    More: Scary, Canadians, Manitoba, Rich Peverley, Narcisse Snake Dens, Camille Donatacci  
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11038 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 12:11 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-03-11 11:06:36 PM  
How can you tell she's single?
 
2014-03-11 11:09:51 PM  
i1214.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-11 11:26:52 PM  

Dragonflew: How can you tell she's single?


She's not wearing a ring?
She's still putting out?
She's still thin?
 
2014-03-11 11:42:03 PM  
Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes...
 
2014-03-11 11:43:00 PM  
Is it June already?
 
2014-03-12 12:14:43 AM  
Psst. Not just Canada. You are welcome.
 
2014-03-12 12:15:49 AM  
www.mykoweb.com

www.mykoweb.com
 
2014-03-12 12:16:02 AM  
Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.
 
2014-03-12 12:16:38 AM  

meow said the dog: Psst. Not just Canada. You are welcome.


That is quite possibly the most coherent thing I've seen you say.

And I trust nothing from Canada. They are too nice, nobody is that nice unless they are hiding something. I bet their snakes apologize too!
/Blame Canada
 
2014-03-12 12:18:58 AM  
Reminds me of my favorite college bar.
 
2014-03-12 12:21:36 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


i.huffpost.com
 
2014-03-12 12:23:39 AM  
media1.break.com
 
2014-03-12 12:27:56 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.
 
2014-03-12 12:29:34 AM  
It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.
 
2014-03-12 12:30:02 AM  
Watchoutforsnakes.

www.shameface.com
 
2014-03-12 12:30:38 AM  

Rhino_man: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

[i.huffpost.com image 300x219]


that was my reaction, too
 
2014-03-12 12:30:48 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


Thread over, we have a winner.
 
2014-03-12 12:32:50 AM  
You said 'without' twice.

/got nuthin'
 
2014-03-12 12:36:07 AM  

meat0918: [www.mykoweb.com image 592x705]

[www.mykoweb.com image 388x288]


[csb]
Those taste like ass, but the damn things are kind of cool to eat after a baking. Overdo it and it's a hellish delerium, but with the proper dose six hours of euphoria and everything looking the wrong size is kind of fun. At slightly higher doses they worked for insomnia as well, at least for me, other folks might be distracted by the psychoactive effects. I used to mix dried caps with my pot, because for some reason the stuff works when smoking it unlike psilocybe species. Apparently it passes mostly unchanged and folks can get high off your piss after too, but we never tried that since they're cheap as dirt anyways. I have a few large dried amanita pantherina somewhere around here, but I'm too edgy about it to take them considering we were pulling amanita ocreata("death angels") from the same area, but in theory they should do about the same.

I had a buddy who was into mycology, I have quite a few deadly dried specimens lying around. I used to press poisonous plants too, it's an odd hobby but it's interesting enough and only takes a few minutes out of my day once in awhile. I still think it's kind of cool to open a book and go "here's nightshade, here's brugmansia, here's some hemlock... etc."
[/csb]
 
2014-03-12 12:36:22 AM  
This takes some of the attention off us.

images.nationalgeographic.com
 
2014-03-12 12:36:37 AM  
Not clicking.
 
2014-03-12 12:42:15 AM  
All the more reason to send that Bieber back!
 
2014-03-12 12:43:34 AM  

SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.


Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.
 
2014-03-12 12:44:17 AM  
yet another reason to never trust moose jockeys
 
2014-03-12 12:44:39 AM  

Bondith: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.


Actually, make that 1.5cm.  I think TO is getting the big dump, and they're welcome to it.

/kinda fitting, really
 
2014-03-12 12:52:57 AM  
I find the lack of Tulsa Doom in this snake orgy thread disturbing
 
2014-03-12 12:53:44 AM  
fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.
 
2014-03-12 12:55:14 AM  

Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.


Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.
 
2014-03-12 12:57:06 AM  
There are snakes in Manitoba, not Canada. If Manitoba dropped off the face of the earth it would take months for anyone to realize it. Weeks for an actual Manitoban.
 
2014-03-12 12:58:00 AM  
i242.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-12 12:58:06 AM  
Also..

Motherfarking snakes on the motherfarking Canada!
 
2014-03-12 12:59:06 AM  
So a single Molotov cocktail in this heaving mass of snakes should solve the problem, right?

Imokwiththis.jpg
 
2014-03-12 12:59:35 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.


Well of Souls amounts of snakes.....
 
2014-03-12 01:01:24 AM  

SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.


Folks in our southern states can't wrap their heads around why our calendar spring isn't till later in March.  They have been enjoying balmy temps over 60º, while my area just had our second 40º+ day.  I went outside in a hoodie and replaced a door lock actuator in my truck.  Later, still in a hoodie, ball cap and no gloves, I had a snow ball fight with my daughter.  So, sounds like spring to me.

/We're soon going to get another 10-12" of snow
 
2014-03-12 01:04:03 AM  

strangeluck: Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.

Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.


Right now $5 is two days worth of food.

I'll be back in TF land at some point... but I need to get things stable first. Living on my own for the first time in 17 years and completely starting over is hard. You forget about things like dishes and utensils when you you're living with others for so long.
 
2014-03-12 01:06:32 AM  
Night falls and I'm taken by sleep
Hot night air blows up balloons in my dreams
Ding-dong rings the bell
Something's at the door
So I put on my slippers
And I creep across the floor

For the door from hence I heard
Another ding-dong
I peep through the door hole
But something's very wrong
As on my porch
There are thousands of snakes
Ready to strike
I feel queasy and
My knees start to shake

My perilous fate
I see no escape as serpents lay seige
To my country estate
The Devil must have opened Hell's gate
and called up millions of snakes
To take me from this place

Big ones Little ones
Fat ones Skinny ones
Protect me from their venomous drug
That springs from the needles of fangs
Attacked by Snakes

By Snakes
So many snakes
You could fill the Great Lakes
With snakes
Ha ha ha run
I try to hide
But snake bites on my face testify
I've been attacked by snakes

By snakes so many snakes
It would take a thousand crates
To contain the snakes after me
I'd rather be burned at the stake
Than be attacked by snakes

Welcome to my world
Or should I say this land of snakes
Serpents lie and wait
At every take my knees quake
As my life these snakes invade
Snake invaders show their fangs
On the snake parade

My perilous fate
I see no escape
As my family prays and waits
I fight them off with
Shovels and rakes and
Bats and phones
But I just can't seem
To shake these bones
That slither from the dark
To destroy my home

[Chorus]

One snake, Two snakes
Are there any more?
There's two more
Knocking at my door...
 
2014-03-12 01:08:52 AM  
Or ... maybe sooner!

Thanks anon!
 
2014-03-12 01:09:35 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-12 01:10:28 AM  
idleinklings.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-12 01:10:34 AM  
I love the sexy slither of a lady snake.  Ohhhhh, baby.
storage.canoe.ca
 
2014-03-12 01:14:01 AM  

Oldiron_79: Representative of the unwashed masses: fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.

Well of Souls amounts of snakes.....


Haha no!

/many many more
 
2014-03-12 01:16:00 AM  
What happens to the males who get shaken off? Do they just open Fark accounts?
 
2014-03-12 01:17:58 AM  
Snake? Snake? Snaaaake!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-12 01:18:20 AM  
A single red-sided garter snake den, and the ensuing sexual display, can contain up to 10,000 snakes

Hey Bob, I think the best way for you to overcome your snake phobia is to confront a few of them. Just step on in there...
 
2014-03-12 01:23:36 AM  

meat0918: [www.mykoweb.com image 592x705]

[www.mykoweb.com image 388x288]


blogs.oregonstate.edu
 
2014-03-12 01:54:44 AM  

The Martian Manhandler: Night falls and I'm taken by sleep
Hot night air blows up balloons in my dreams
Ding-dong rings the bell
Something's at the door
So I put on my slippers
And I creep across the floor

For the door from hence I heard
Another ding-dong
I peep through the door hole
But something's very wrong
As on my porch
There are thousands of snakes
Ready to strike
I feel queasy and
My knees start to shake

My perilous fate
I see no escape as serpents lay seige
To my country estate
The Devil must have opened Hell's gate
and called up millions of snakes
To take me from this place

Big ones Little ones
Fat ones Skinny ones
Protect me from their venomous drug
That springs from the needles of fangs
Attacked by Snakes

By Snakes
So many snakes
You could fill the Great Lakes
With snakes
Ha ha ha run
I try to hide
But snake bites on my face testify
I've been attacked by snakes

By snakes so many snakes
It would take a thousand crates
To contain the snakes after me
I'd rather be burned at the stake
Than be attacked by snakes

Welcome to my world
Or should I say this land of snakes
Serpents lie and wait
At every take my knees quake
As my life these snakes invade
Snake invaders show their fangs
On the snake parade

My perilous fate
I see no escape
As my family prays and waits
I fight them off with
Shovels and rakes and
Bats and phones
But I just can't seem
To shake these bones
That slither from the dark
To destroy my home

[Chorus]

One snake, Two snakes
Are there any more?
There's two more
Knocking at my door...


might be my favorite band of all time
 
2014-03-12 01:56:49 AM  
They were pretty cute as far as snakes go.
 
2014-03-12 02:08:39 AM  

Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.


I was JUST wondering how long it's been for me.. I know I was on before I moved to NYC, and I remember your thread.
 
2014-03-12 02:11:06 AM  
Oh hey it's there in my profile.. Now off to look at the profile I had before this one... The one I can't remember the password for, LOL.
 
2014-03-12 02:18:32 AM  

Shadow Blasko: strangeluck: Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.

Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.

Right now $5 is two days worth of food.

I'll be back in TF land at some point... but I need to get things stable first. Living on my own for the first time in 17 years and completely starting over is hard. You forget about things like dishes and utensils when you you're living with others for so long.


Your local thrift store has that stuff for serious cheap.
 
2014-03-12 02:25:52 AM  
Does fark have trigger warnings now?
/ wussification of america
 
2014-03-12 02:30:11 AM  
I went on an overnight horseback trip when I was a kid. While my family was setting up camp, I wandered to the nearby lakeside, and saw a snake! Then two snakes, then five, then twenty, and then at the water's edge I saw what looked like a bowling ball made entirely of snakes. So, I picked it up, carried it back to the middle of camp. Pulled in a deep breath, and screamed.

Sigh, good times.
 
2014-03-12 02:42:36 AM  
l.wigflip.com
/o hai!
 
2014-03-12 02:48:11 AM  
I can't believe there is anyone that is scared of a little garter snake.  The worst thing they will do it poop on you.

/but farkin' A it stinks!!!
 
2014-03-12 02:48:42 AM  

parazen: I went on an overnight horseback trip when I was a kid. While my family was setting up camp, I wandered to the nearby lakeside, and saw a snake! Then two snakes, then five, then twenty, and then at the water's edge I saw what looked like a bowling ball made entirely of snakes. So, I picked it up, carried it back to the middle of camp. Pulled in a deep breath, and screamed.

Sigh, good times.


You must have lived in Montana at the time.  Been there, done something stupid like that ;)
 
2014-03-12 02:49:28 AM  

Taima: I can't believe there is anyone that is scared of a little garter snake.  The worst thing they will do it poop on you.

/but farkin' A it stinks!!!


They're still SNAKES, GODDAMMIT!!!!!! ;)
 
2014-03-12 03:00:13 AM  

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


Bet the female snake has an amazon wishlist
 
2014-03-12 03:26:54 AM  

Baron Krelve: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Bet the female snake has an amazon wishlist


i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-12 03:42:27 AM  

SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.


This.
A week ago the temps were -35C.
I am in North Bay, Ont.
Expect the snow/ice to stick around for at least another 6 week.
:-(
 
2014-03-12 05:01:11 AM  
Fark is not your personal slitherotica site.
 
2014-03-12 05:38:01 AM  
Euphemism for the dating scene in northern Alberta?
 
2014-03-12 07:10:21 AM  

Taima: I can't believe there is anyone that is scared of a little garter snake.  The worst thing they will do it poop on you.

/but farkin' A it stinks!!!


This--garter snakes are probably one of the more beneficial, and certainly the least harmful to humans, of any snakes.  (Garter snakes are TINY.  A baby mouse or a young chipmunk is a huge meal for 'em.)
 
2014-03-12 07:57:23 AM  
Spring...yeah right.  20cm of snow starting out there right now.
 
2014-03-12 08:07:01 AM  
Call me when there's a Snake King discovered.
 
2014-03-12 08:25:54 AM  

lack of warmth: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Folks in our southern states can't wrap their heads around why our calendar spring isn't till later in March.  They have been enjoying balmy temps over 60º, while my area just had our second 40º+ day.  I went outside in a hoodie and replaced a door lock actuator in my truck.  Later, still in a hoodie, ball cap and no gloves, I had a snow ball fight with my daughter.  So, sounds like spring to me.

/We're soon going to get another 10-12" of snow


As a Canadian living in GA, you are absolutely correct. The look they gave me when I tried to explain the seasons to them.

/Dumbfounded trying to figure out why we road snowmobiles in the Summer
 
2014-03-12 09:06:15 AM  
What's worse than a snake?
www.aussiepythons.com
Snake ticks.
 
2014-03-12 09:16:44 AM  
Asps, very dangerous. You go first.
 
2014-03-12 09:25:41 AM  

Bondith: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.


Pfffft, 15cm? I had to rearrange my travel plans because up to 50cm could fall at home today and tomorrow.

And we still have the 2" of ice from the big storm just before Christmas. Sealed in the first 18" we got in early December.

/Yes, I am whining.
 
2014-03-12 09:34:26 AM  

MythDragon: What's worse than a snake?
[www.aussiepythons.com image 574x768]
Snake ticks.


That is fascinating. Where did you get that picture? I thought about GISing but I'm sure the results would probably flag my IT department... ha.

It looks like they've got anesthetic going? (The tube.) I never would have thought of ticks on snakes.

/hate ticks
//snakes are ok to look at, not to be surprised by
///need some snake boots for work
 
2014-03-12 09:34:26 AM  

Taima: I can't believe there is anyone that is scared of a little garter snake.  The worst thing they will do it poop on you.

/but farkin' A it stinks!!!


They also bite but aren't venomous. I haven't seen or handled one since I was a kid.
Also fark Manitoba, we're getting a snowstorm tonight in the south of Quebec. Only 15 cm (6 inches) but I'm tired of this shiat.
 
2014-03-12 09:38:05 AM  

MythDragon: What's worse than a snake?
[www.aussiepythons.com image 574x768]
Snake ticks.


Hup, hup, bleeeeegggggahhh.
 
2014-03-12 09:44:01 AM  

MythDragon: What's worse than a snake?
[www.aussiepythons.com image 574x768]
Snake ticks.


Poor fella.  I like snakes.
 
2014-03-12 10:00:23 AM  

charlesmartel11235: Does fark have trigger warnings now?


What, like keep your finger off until you're ready to fire?
 
2014-03-12 10:03:30 AM  

Liese: That is fascinating. Where did you get that picture?


I was GISing 'snake ball' in response to someone else posting about finding a ball of snakes, when I happened upon that gem.
 
2014-03-12 10:15:01 AM  

semiotix: [l.wigflip.com image 634x353]
/o hai!


Since that would translate to "Oh Yes!" repeated by all the snakes in the snake orgy, that would probably mark the first time that phrase has been used correctly on FARK.
 
2014-03-12 10:55:05 AM  

washington-babylon: semiotix: [l.wigflip.com image 634x353]
/o hai!

Since that would translate to "Oh Yes!" repeated by all the snakes in the snake orgy, that would probably mark the first time that phrase has been used correctly on FARK.


That's doubly true, because as far as I can tell, only tentacular-shaped things enjoy Japanese sex.
 
2014-03-12 11:13:22 AM  

Bondith: Bondith: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.

Actually, make that 1.5cm.  I think TO is getting the big dump, and they're welcome to it.

/kinda fitting, really


Hey, hey, watch it there, pal!
 
2014-03-12 11:21:35 AM  

There's Always A Bloody Ghost: Bondith: Bondith: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.

Actually, make that 1.5cm.  I think TO is getting the big dump, and they're welcome to it.

/kinda fitting, really

Hey, hey, watch it there, pal!


Actually, you're right.  I don't wish a crippling snowstorm on you this weekend.

/have to fly out of Pearson on Friday
 
2014-03-12 12:44:58 PM  
Snakes have comic book conventions?
 
2014-03-12 12:51:09 PM  
Was there a few years ago. Unfortunately, we just missed the main snake orgy as they just started to emerge on the last day of our trip, so we saw hundreds instead of thousands. Peak time is late April or early May, depending on the weather.

Makes me wonder why the Fail is promoting it now - someone looking for those big tourist bucks? There is really nothing else up there except a couple houses on the highway. Talking to some friends in Winnipeg leads me to believe that the glaciers still haven't receded yet.
 
2014-03-12 01:03:11 PM  

Bondith: washington-babylon: semiotix: [l.wigflip.com image 634x353]
/o hai!

Since that would translate to "Oh Yes!" repeated by all the snakes in the snake orgy, that would probably mark the first time that phrase has been used correctly on FARK.

That's doubly true, because as far as I can tell, only tentacular-shaped things enjoy Japanese sex.


I dunno, a lot of guys are really into their itty-bitty asians. Unfortunately (for asian men), the opposite isn't true. I know a asian guy I worked with for a while who can't seem to keep anyone very long as they keep leaving him. He's a good guy, but is rumored to be lacking a bit of... "Something".

/Fortunately, I have never had that issue myself.
 
2014-03-12 01:25:01 PM  
My Great-Aunt lived in an old farm house with a field stone basement dating to the 18th century or possibly early 19th. Her son was working on the place now and then when he could find time so some of the eletrical plates were open.

My Mother and Aunt were visiting her one day when a snake came slithering down the bannister. My Aunt and Great-Aunt were up on the furniture in no time so my Mother had to catch the snake and release it. It helps to be a bit of Tom Boy in your youth.

The house had a snake pit somewhere, presumably just outside the field stone walls and the snakes could get into the walls. As mentioned above, this is quite common. Modern houses are more air-tight so snakes are less likely to get into them, but old houses with cellars are popular with the snakes (and bees, etc.).

There's been many cases of people being over run by snakes or finding the walls and ceilings sweating honey.

Mmmmm ... wall honey.

Ceiling cat can not taste sugar.
 
2014-03-12 01:35:42 PM  
I like snakes but my paternal grandfather was ophidiophobic and was creeped out even by toy snakes. It thought it was because he was a French Roman Catholic but it turns out the family was French and Protestant for the last five generations, so that can't have been it.

Snakes are not slimy, they are leathery and dry. Most species are not venomous and the worst small snakes can do is give you a nip as they have no teeth.

When I was a child, I used to enjoy catching and releasing snakes, frogs, salamanders, toads, tadpoles, crayfish, small fish, lamprey eels, wait, what? Yes, eels when they were about the size of pencils.

I think I inherited my love of nature from my grandfathers. It's good to know the life and world around you. I think children should learn to identify and understand the plants, animals and rocks around where they live to better appreciate how the world works and our place in it.

Sadly, most children think milk comes in bottles, bags or boxes from the supermarket and don't necessarily connect the stuff to cows.

I live downtown but there's plenty of wildlife around. I've seen more wildlife on the way to work here than I used to see when I lived in the country, except ,of course, for deer, moose, bears, etc., which are seldom seen here because we are uphill and those animals head downhill towards water when they are lost.

They do fall into the swimming pools in the suburbs a lot, however.
 
2014-03-12 07:00:17 PM  

parazen: I went on an overnight horseback trip when I was a kid. While my family was setting up camp, I wandered to the nearby lakeside, and saw a snake! Then two snakes, then five, then twenty, and then at the water's edge I saw what looked like a bowling ball made entirely of snakes. So, I picked it up, carried it back to the middle of camp. Pulled in a deep breath, and screamed.

Sigh, good times.


THIS IS AWESOME!
 
2014-03-12 07:02:17 PM  

MythDragon: What's worse than a snake?
[www.aussiepythons.com image 574x768]
Snake ticks.


OMG! That poor snake!

:;;;;;;;;;;;;;(
 
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