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(Daily Mail)   It's spring in Canada, which means you can't even turn around without without running into a ball of hundreds of writhing snakes bigger than your head trying desperately to mate with a single female. Warning: link has snakes   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 85
    More: Scary, Canadians, Manitoba, Rich Peverley, Narcisse Snake Dens, Camille Donatacci  
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10961 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2014 at 12:11 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-03-11 11:06:36 PM
How can you tell she's single?
 
2014-03-11 11:09:51 PM
i1214.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-11 11:26:52 PM

Dragonflew: How can you tell she's single?


She's not wearing a ring?
She's still putting out?
She's still thin?
 
2014-03-11 11:42:03 PM
Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes...
 
2014-03-11 11:43:00 PM
Is it June already?
 
2014-03-12 12:14:43 AM
Psst. Not just Canada. You are welcome.
 
2014-03-12 12:15:49 AM
www.mykoweb.com

www.mykoweb.com
 
2014-03-12 12:16:02 AM
Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.
 
2014-03-12 12:16:38 AM

meow said the dog: Psst. Not just Canada. You are welcome.


That is quite possibly the most coherent thing I've seen you say.

And I trust nothing from Canada. They are too nice, nobody is that nice unless they are hiding something. I bet their snakes apologize too!
/Blame Canada
 
2014-03-12 12:18:58 AM
Reminds me of my favorite college bar.
 
2014-03-12 12:21:36 AM

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


i.huffpost.com
 
2014-03-12 12:23:39 AM
media1.break.com
 
2014-03-12 12:27:56 AM

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.
 
2014-03-12 12:29:34 AM
It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.
 
2014-03-12 12:30:02 AM
Watchoutforsnakes.

www.shameface.com
 
2014-03-12 12:30:38 AM

Rhino_man: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

[i.huffpost.com image 300x219]


that was my reaction, too
 
2014-03-12 12:30:48 AM

farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.


Thread over, we have a winner.
 
2014-03-12 12:32:50 AM
You said 'without' twice.

/got nuthin'
 
2014-03-12 12:36:07 AM

meat0918: [www.mykoweb.com image 592x705]

[www.mykoweb.com image 388x288]


[csb]
Those taste like ass, but the damn things are kind of cool to eat after a baking. Overdo it and it's a hellish delerium, but with the proper dose six hours of euphoria and everything looking the wrong size is kind of fun. At slightly higher doses they worked for insomnia as well, at least for me, other folks might be distracted by the psychoactive effects. I used to mix dried caps with my pot, because for some reason the stuff works when smoking it unlike psilocybe species. Apparently it passes mostly unchanged and folks can get high off your piss after too, but we never tried that since they're cheap as dirt anyways. I have a few large dried amanita pantherina somewhere around here, but I'm too edgy about it to take them considering we were pulling amanita ocreata("death angels") from the same area, but in theory they should do about the same.

I had a buddy who was into mycology, I have quite a few deadly dried specimens lying around. I used to press poisonous plants too, it's an odd hobby but it's interesting enough and only takes a few minutes out of my day once in awhile. I still think it's kind of cool to open a book and go "here's nightshade, here's brugmansia, here's some hemlock... etc."
[/csb]
 
2014-03-12 12:36:22 AM
This takes some of the attention off us.

images.nationalgeographic.com
 
2014-03-12 12:36:37 AM
Not clicking.
 
2014-03-12 12:42:15 AM
All the more reason to send that Bieber back!
 
2014-03-12 12:43:34 AM

SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.


Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.
 
2014-03-12 12:44:17 AM
yet another reason to never trust moose jockeys
 
2014-03-12 12:44:39 AM

Bondith: SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.

Agreed.  It was melty here today, but Winter Part IV is due to arrive with 15cm of snow by the end of the week.


Actually, make that 1.5cm.  I think TO is getting the big dump, and they're welcome to it.

/kinda fitting, really
 
2014-03-12 12:52:57 AM
I find the lack of Tulsa Doom in this snake orgy thread disturbing
 
2014-03-12 12:53:44 AM
fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.
 
2014-03-12 12:55:14 AM

Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.


Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.
 
2014-03-12 12:57:06 AM
There are snakes in Manitoba, not Canada. If Manitoba dropped off the face of the earth it would take months for anyone to realize it. Weeks for an actual Manitoban.
 
2014-03-12 12:58:00 AM
i242.photobucket.com
 
2014-03-12 12:58:06 AM
Also..

Motherfarking snakes on the motherfarking Canada!
 
2014-03-12 12:59:06 AM
So a single Molotov cocktail in this heaving mass of snakes should solve the problem, right?

Imokwiththis.jpg
 
2014-03-12 12:59:35 AM

Representative of the unwashed masses: fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.


Well of Souls amounts of snakes.....
 
2014-03-12 01:01:24 AM

SumoJeb: It is Spring here? I hadn't noticed. My view must be obstructed by all this snow and ice.


Folks in our southern states can't wrap their heads around why our calendar spring isn't till later in March.  They have been enjoying balmy temps over 60º, while my area just had our second 40º+ day.  I went outside in a hoodie and replaced a door lock actuator in my truck.  Later, still in a hoodie, ball cap and no gloves, I had a snow ball fight with my daughter.  So, sounds like spring to me.

/We're soon going to get another 10-12" of snow
 
2014-03-12 01:04:03 AM

strangeluck: Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.

Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.


Right now $5 is two days worth of food.

I'll be back in TF land at some point... but I need to get things stable first. Living on my own for the first time in 17 years and completely starting over is hard. You forget about things like dishes and utensils when you you're living with others for so long.
 
2014-03-12 01:06:32 AM
Night falls and I'm taken by sleep
Hot night air blows up balloons in my dreams
Ding-dong rings the bell
Something's at the door
So I put on my slippers
And I creep across the floor

For the door from hence I heard
Another ding-dong
I peep through the door hole
But something's very wrong
As on my porch
There are thousands of snakes
Ready to strike
I feel queasy and
My knees start to shake

My perilous fate
I see no escape as serpents lay seige
To my country estate
The Devil must have opened Hell's gate
and called up millions of snakes
To take me from this place

Big ones Little ones
Fat ones Skinny ones
Protect me from their venomous drug
That springs from the needles of fangs
Attacked by Snakes

By Snakes
So many snakes
You could fill the Great Lakes
With snakes
Ha ha ha run
I try to hide
But snake bites on my face testify
I've been attacked by snakes

By snakes so many snakes
It would take a thousand crates
To contain the snakes after me
I'd rather be burned at the stake
Than be attacked by snakes

Welcome to my world
Or should I say this land of snakes
Serpents lie and wait
At every take my knees quake
As my life these snakes invade
Snake invaders show their fangs
On the snake parade

My perilous fate
I see no escape
As my family prays and waits
I fight them off with
Shovels and rakes and
Bats and phones
But I just can't seem
To shake these bones
That slither from the dark
To destroy my home

[Chorus]

One snake, Two snakes
Are there any more?
There's two more
Knocking at my door...
 
2014-03-12 01:08:52 AM
Or ... maybe sooner!

Thanks anon!
 
2014-03-12 01:09:35 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-03-12 01:10:28 AM
idleinklings.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-03-12 01:10:34 AM
I love the sexy slither of a lady snake.  Ohhhhh, baby.
storage.canoe.ca
 
2014-03-12 01:14:01 AM

Oldiron_79: Representative of the unwashed masses: fun fact there are lots of old abandoned homes on the Prairies of Saskatchewan and Manitoba that turn into these snake pits, for the simple reason that these are holes in the ground where they can congregate.  I remember my dad telling me of a friend of his who went to excavate a basement for his house and found one.

bucket after bucket of snakes.

They aren't poisonous or anything but thousands of snakes.

Well of Souls amounts of snakes.....


Haha no!

/many many more
 
2014-03-12 01:16:00 AM
What happens to the males who get shaken off? Do they just open Fark accounts?
 
2014-03-12 01:17:58 AM
Snake? Snake? Snaaaake!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-03-12 01:18:20 AM
A single red-sided garter snake den, and the ensuing sexual display, can contain up to 10,000 snakes

Hey Bob, I think the best way for you to overcome your snake phobia is to confront a few of them. Just step on in there...
 
2014-03-12 01:23:36 AM

meat0918: [www.mykoweb.com image 592x705]

[www.mykoweb.com image 388x288]


blogs.oregonstate.edu
 
2014-03-12 01:54:44 AM

The Martian Manhandler: Night falls and I'm taken by sleep
Hot night air blows up balloons in my dreams
Ding-dong rings the bell
Something's at the door
So I put on my slippers
And I creep across the floor

For the door from hence I heard
Another ding-dong
I peep through the door hole
But something's very wrong
As on my porch
There are thousands of snakes
Ready to strike
I feel queasy and
My knees start to shake

My perilous fate
I see no escape as serpents lay seige
To my country estate
The Devil must have opened Hell's gate
and called up millions of snakes
To take me from this place

Big ones Little ones
Fat ones Skinny ones
Protect me from their venomous drug
That springs from the needles of fangs
Attacked by Snakes

By Snakes
So many snakes
You could fill the Great Lakes
With snakes
Ha ha ha run
I try to hide
But snake bites on my face testify
I've been attacked by snakes

By snakes so many snakes
It would take a thousand crates
To contain the snakes after me
I'd rather be burned at the stake
Than be attacked by snakes

Welcome to my world
Or should I say this land of snakes
Serpents lie and wait
At every take my knees quake
As my life these snakes invade
Snake invaders show their fangs
On the snake parade

My perilous fate
I see no escape
As my family prays and waits
I fight them off with
Shovels and rakes and
Bats and phones
But I just can't seem
To shake these bones
That slither from the dark
To destroy my home

[Chorus]

One snake, Two snakes
Are there any more?
There's two more
Knocking at my door...


might be my favorite band of all time
 
2014-03-12 01:56:49 AM
They were pretty cute as far as snakes go.
 
2014-03-12 02:08:39 AM

Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.


I was JUST wondering how long it's been for me.. I know I was on before I moved to NYC, and I remember your thread.
 
2014-03-12 02:11:06 AM
Oh hey it's there in my profile.. Now off to look at the profile I had before this one... The one I can't remember the password for, LOL.
 
2014-03-12 02:18:32 AM

Shadow Blasko: strangeluck: Shadow Blasko: farkingismybusiness: Awww. It's kind of like TotalFark.

Now THAT was funny!


/I miss my TF

//10 Years on fark as of today.

Can't get your TF back? It's only five bucks for a month. I know this guy named Drew, he can hook you up on the down-low.

Right now $5 is two days worth of food.

I'll be back in TF land at some point... but I need to get things stable first. Living on my own for the first time in 17 years and completely starting over is hard. You forget about things like dishes and utensils when you you're living with others for so long.


Your local thrift store has that stuff for serious cheap.
 
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