If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Vice)   Chefs hate food writers because they are idiots who have power   (vice.com) divider line 92
    More: Interesting, food writer, chefs  
•       •       •

4598 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2014 at 3:14 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-03-11 03:15:36 PM
Max Power begs to differ
 
2014-03-11 03:16:19 PM
Kinda like politicians?
 
2014-03-11 03:17:28 PM
"That's great, man, but... who are the Chefs?"

"... Great googly-moogly..."


/dnrtfa
 
2014-03-11 03:19:17 PM
Xs hate X critics because they (the critics) are idiots who have power.

There, fixed it for all professions.
 
2014-03-11 03:20:53 PM

Savage Belief: Kinda like politicians?


And law enforcement?
 
2014-03-11 03:21:15 PM
Crap.  Chefs hate everybody.

Conversely, everyone has equal opportunity to hate chefs.

"And tell the cook this is low grade  dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it."

www.masterpiecepumpkins.com
 
2014-03-11 03:21:57 PM

Savage Belief: Kinda like politicians?


Came here to say this.
 
2014-03-11 03:22:00 PM
I think I've had enough practice eating to judge your over cooked slop.
 
2014-03-11 03:22:09 PM
As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.
 
2014-03-11 03:22:11 PM
Not gonna RTFA because the link begins "Nine Good Reasons".  It's bullsharts Internet clickbait crap.

And "chefs" hate anyone who criticizes them in any way, just like most people.

(The fact that their product is so easily AND accurately critiqued by anyone with a tongue doesn't help them.)
 
2014-03-11 03:23:11 PM
The three remaining expense-account critics in the country have the power to inflict more damage, but they at least pay their own way. 95% of the other writers-soon to be 100%-get comped.

Seriously?  How can you give an unbiased review when you're being comped?  How can you get served food truly representative of what the average diner receives when the kitchen knows who they're cooking for?
 
2014-03-11 03:23:42 PM
... and at the end, they just repeat the words "screw Flanders" over and over.
 
2014-03-11 03:24:01 PM
The only thing anyone in the food service industry really hates is not being high on cocaine.
 
2014-03-11 03:24:52 PM
That was a whole lot of "The writer didn't like my food and made me feel bad"

FTA:  A restaurant, to the Writer's Gaze, appears simply as a series of plates that appear on the table, delivered by friendly young people. The enormous effort behind them is totally out of sight, as is the fact that the dish the writer eats is one of dozens made that night, all of which vary slightly in quality. Add to this most writers' near-total ignorance of restaurant economics and staffing, and the restaurant is in the position of being subjected to the prejudices of an unwelcome and unformed mind.

Yeah, and if I test drive a Ford I don't look into the whole assembly line.  As a former 10+ year restaurant employee, how else should a critic judge you, other than the damn food you serve?
 
2014-03-11 03:25:57 PM

tricycleracer: The three remaining expense-account critics in the country have the power to inflict more damage, but they at least pay their own way. 95% of the other writers-soon to be 100%-get comped.

Seriously?  How can you give an unbiased review when you're being comped?  How can you get served food truly representative of what the average diner receives when the kitchen knows who they're cooking for?


Agreed. This is like when the board of health doesn't see an issue with announcing upcoming inspections.
 
2014-03-11 03:27:25 PM
I would love to be a food writer. But I would want to go back in the kitchen, interview the head chef, get some pictures of the prep work. More like what a food host on the travel channel or food channel gets to do. Just trying the food and saying if you liked it or not might be enough for people trying to pick where to eat, but I love a good long look at an interesting place.
 
2014-03-11 03:31:34 PM

CruJones: That was a whole lot of "The writer didn't like my food and made me feel bad"

FTA:  A restaurant, to the Writer's Gaze, appears simply as a series of plates that appear on the table, delivered by friendly young people. The enormous effort behind them is totally out of sight, as is the fact that the dish the writer eats is one of dozens made that night, all of which vary slightly in quality. Add to this most writers' near-total ignorance of restaurant economics and staffing, and the restaurant is in the position of being subjected to the prejudices of an unwelcome and unformed mind.

Yeah, and if I test drive a Ford I don't look into the whole assembly line.  As a former 10+ year restaurant employee, how else should a critic judge you, other than the damn food you serve?


And a movie critic only sees the final movie, not all the hundreds of people who it took to write, cast, shoot and edit the movie.  Add to this most critics near total ignorance of movie industry economics and staffing, and the movie is in the position of being subjected to the prejudices of an unwelcome and uninformed mind.

Also, is anyone really unaware that food doesn't magically appear in a waiter's hand to be placed on your table?
 
2014-03-11 03:31:37 PM
 
2014-03-11 03:33:18 PM
I just realized the easy confusion of the summary:

Chefs hate food writers because they are idiots who have power

Makes much more sense now.  ;)
 
2014-03-11 03:35:23 PM
i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-03-11 03:37:47 PM
1) Never eat at a new joint. Give them a year to work out the kinks. If they have advertising money, and they better, to survive, they will have at least one year of steady clients good or bad. One year let's them get in a groove, iron out rough spots, and get the rhythm going.

2) Line out the door? Can be an indication it's good. Can also be an indication that they recently got a mess of publicity from a food writer, who may or may not know squat about food.

3) I know some food writers. I would not allow them near a kitchen, let alone attempt to cook for me.

4) If a place is truly good, I'll go and spend $$$ and tip very well, and enjoy myself.

5) If a place is truly bad, I'll give them a second chance. . . one.

6) Screw the food writer's and eat where you like, different strokes and all. I mean, my Christ, some of you put french fries and Cole slaw on your sandwiches, and stuff. What ever trips your trigger, I guess.

7) It's all about who is using the correct ingredients, and sanitation practices, and has skills.

8) Most food writers are frustrated English majors who want to be poets, but instead pull up a thesaurus and describe food they are eating as if they can't just take a farking pic of it like everyone else.

9) List list has no particular order or purpose.

10) Try the veal. I'll be here all week.
 
2014-03-11 03:38:17 PM
Holy smokes, a Vice writer with a list article that's based entirely on their own opinion. How novel!
 
2014-03-11 03:40:25 PM

CruJones: That was a whole lot of "The writer didn't like my food and made me feel bad"

FTA:  A restaurant, to the Writer's Gaze, appears simply as a series of plates that appear on the table, delivered by friendly young people. The enormous effort behind them is totally out of sight, as is the fact that the dish the writer eats is one of dozens made that night, all of which vary slightly in quality. Add to this most writers' near-total ignorance of restaurant economics and staffing, and the restaurant is in the position of being subjected to the prejudices of an unwelcome and unformed mind.

Yeah, and if I test drive a Ford I don't look into the whole assembly line.  As a former 10+ year restaurant employee, how else should a critic judge you, other than the damn food you serve?


You can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
 
2014-03-11 03:42:20 PM

gopher321: [i61.tinypic.com image 468x498]


YOU USED SO MUCH SAGE
THE DALI LAMA IS ASKING IT FOR ADVICE!
 
2014-03-11 03:42:50 PM
The chefs of what?.

/Chef is the French word for 'chief
//or 'boss'
 
2014-03-11 03:43:40 PM

stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.


Ultimately, restaurants need to be reminded that they're pushing a product that has to meet expectations for the price point.  That product includes facets of service, atmosphere, presentation, taste, and timing.  If your kitchen is doing what amounts to expensive hand-waving that either has no effect or even a negative effect on those, then your efforts are for naught.

tricycleracer: Seriously? How can you give an unbiased review when you're being comped? How can you get served food truly representative of what the average diner receives when the kitchen knows who they're cooking for?


This description surprised me; if almost all food writers are known and comped (as this writer suggests) then it would be maddening to put on the dog & pony show only to have them ignore or marginalize your efforts and strengths.
 
2014-03-11 03:44:29 PM
4. They Literally Have No Idea What They Are Talking About.
One of the biggest and most obnoxious fallacies of food writing is the way the whole thing revolves around the writer's perspective. A restaurant, to the Writer's Gaze, appears simply as a series of plates that appear on the table, delivered by friendly young people. The enormous effort behind them is totally out of sight, as is the fact that the dish the writer eats is one of dozens made that night, all of which vary slightly in quality. Add to this most writers' near-total ignorance of restaurant economics and staffing, and the restaurant is in the position of being subjected to the prejudices of an unwelcome and unformed mind.


Firstly: this is food, not performance art (a couple of the weirder restaurants notwithstanding).  From the perspective of the audience of the review, i.e. customers, effort or lack of effort will not alter the experience in any way.

Secondly: quality checks are, and are understood by the audience to be, relative.  Because of this, absolute knowledge of functional details of the business side of a restaurant  is not in any way necessary.  He's not going to write whether an omniscient God of context approves your pasta, he's going to write whether your pasta is  better or worse than other pastas the critic has tried... all of which are subject to the same concerns of statistics, economy, etc.

Basically, simple empiricism states that since  all restaurants are subject to these factors, none of them are relevant to relative ranking of the results.

// It appears that the food writers understand what's up better than whoever the whinging author of TFA is, really.
 
2014-03-11 03:44:41 PM
epicpix.com
 
2014-03-11 03:45:39 PM

Tricky Chicken: YOU USED SO MUCH SAGE
THE DALI LAMA IS ASKING IT FOR ADVICE!


This has enough mace to stop rape... everywhere.
 
2014-03-11 03:46:55 PM
It's not like critics take the rough drafts of their reviews, stick them in a plastic bag, and soak them in tepid water for hours, then a quick rewrite to add some sizzle.

Chefs do that. Not critics.
 
2014-03-11 03:48:55 PM

factoryconnection: Tricky Chicken: YOU USED SO MUCH SAGE
THE DALI LAMA IS ASKING IT FOR ADVICE!

This has enough mace to stop rape... everywhere.


THIS HAS SO MUCH SALT, LOT WANTS TO FARK IT!
 
2014-03-11 03:51:38 PM
No boobies.

Thread is a waste.

Any thread without boobies is a waste.
 
2014-03-11 03:51:47 PM

Tricky Chicken: THIS HAS SO MUCH SALT, LOT WANTS TO FARK IT!


ONLY DEF LEPPARD HAS HAD MORE SUGAR POURED ON IT
 
2014-03-11 03:53:53 PM

CygnusDarius: The chefs of what?.

/Chef is the French word for 'chief
//or 'boss'


Chefs de cuiseverybodyknowsthatwhatsyourfarkingpoint
 
2014-03-11 03:55:04 PM
the level of butthurt in this article...
 
2014-03-11 03:55:39 PM

stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.


You sound like a steak and potatoes guy. There's nothing wrong with that. Steak and potatoes are great, but it takes no effort to make them beyond getting a good piece of cow and a Russet, having access to fresh ground pepper and some salt, and having an extremely hot fire.

I can imagine what you would do if I put a fish terrine in front of you. Or Cassoulet. Or Brussels sprouts.
 
2014-03-11 03:55:58 PM
Chefs may hate critics, but they are all braggarts when they win awards and cum in their pants when thinking about Michelin stars.
 
2014-03-11 03:56:32 PM

tricycleracer: The three remaining expense-account critics in the country have the power to inflict more damage, but they at least pay their own way. 95% of the other writers-soon to be 100%-get comped.

Seriously?  How can you give an unbiased review when you're being comped?  How can you get served food truly representative of what the average diner receives when the kitchen knows who they're cooking for?


It may have been Bourdain, but I can't remember...but anyways, someone "popular" in the food & travel world explained a lot of what it's in this article some time ago and since I've always considered "food writing/restaurant reviewing" as largely bullsh*t and a total farce because of it.
 
2014-03-11 03:56:34 PM

vudukungfu: 1) Never eat at a new joint. Give them a year to work out the kinks. If they have advertising money, and they better, to survive, they will have at least one year of steady clients good or bad. One year let's them get in a groove, iron out rough spots, and get the rhythm going.


That's a little harsh. How is a restaurant supposed to survive if everyone keeps away until it "works out the kinks"? Trying new places is fun. Now, if someplace sounds really interesting but the dining experience is sub-par when you first go, it might make sense to wait six months or so and then give them a second chance.
 
2014-03-11 03:57:27 PM

stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.


I once tried pacifying my sister about horrible service at a place. "Maybe they're understaffed...," etc.

A former executive steward for a massively expensive hotel chain, she told me that if they're understaffed (or underANYthing) they shouldn't open. "If they can't give full service, that's on them to do better, not on us to be more understanding."

/Fat.
 
2014-03-11 04:00:28 PM

tricycleracer: The three remaining expense-account critics in the country have the power to inflict more damage, but they at least pay their own way. 95% of the other writers-soon to be 100%-get comped.

Seriously?  How can you give an unbiased review when you're being comped?  How can you get served food truly representative of what the average diner receives when the kitchen knows who they're cooking for?


As someone who cooked for a living for many years, I'd like to be able to say that we always put out the best product to every customer.

However, when someone comes in showing press credentials as a food writer and practically demands to eat for free, well.......
 
2014-03-11 04:02:45 PM

Gecko Gingrich: stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.

You sound like a steak and potatoes guy. There's nothing wrong with that. Steak and potatoes are great, but it takes no effort to make them beyond getting a good piece of cow and a Russet, having access to fresh ground pepper and some salt, and having an extremely hot fire.

I can imagine what you would do if I put a fish terrine in front of you. Or Cassoulet. Or Brussels sprouts.


I'd eat them, and tell you if I liked them or not, and not care what you did to cook them.  Water World was one of the most expensive and hard to make films ever.  Their effort does not make up for the shiat product they delivered.
 
2014-03-11 04:03:36 PM
Now if they could just get a few rats to do their cooking for them...

img.fark.net
 
2014-03-11 04:05:08 PM

Gecko Gingrich: stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.

You sound like a steak and potatoes guy. There's nothing wrong with that. Steak and potatoes are great, but it takes no effort to make them beyond getting a good piece of cow and a Russet, having access to fresh ground pepper and some salt, and having an extremely hot fire.

I can imagine what you would do if I put a fish terrine in front of you. Or Cassoulet. Or Brussels sprouts.


Not sure if serious.  Pretty sure you can't be serious.  Even the most pretentious of art critics doesn't judge a work based entirely on how hard he thinks the artist worked or what obscure brushstroke techniques were used.  I don't know "stonicus" but that's quite a leap to classify him or her, put tastes in their mouth, and call them out as unqualified and without normal human taste.  People can tell and appreciate good food without knowing the intricacies of its preparation.  The preparation should be almost entirely irrelevant unless one is interested in cooking as a hobby.
 
2014-03-11 04:05:19 PM

Gecko Gingrich: stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.

You sound like a steak and potatoes guy. There's nothing wrong with that. Steak and potatoes are great, but it takes no effort to make them beyond getting a good piece of cow and a Russet, having access to fresh ground pepper and some salt, and having an extremely hot fire.

I can imagine what you would do if I put a fish terrine in front of you. Or Cassoulet. Or Brussels sprouts.


If the fish terrine tastes terrible, it really doesn't matter much that a shiat ton of effort went into it. Ultimately, the purpose of cooking is to produce edible food, if you fail at that your effort is irrelevant.
 
2014-03-11 04:06:32 PM
The article failed to mention the horrible practice of pushing restaurants that don't have big press/PR budgets off on interns who then write horrible reviews in an attempt to establish themselves as "critics." One of the worst offenders of this? WaPo's own Tom Sietsema (who, frankly, has the taste buds of a plecostomus.

Seriously, the secret to a good review is to trump yourself up with paid advertising in industry rags prior to the critics getting there. You can serve them shiat, literal feces, on a plate and they'll rave about it.
 
2014-03-11 04:07:52 PM
I've never seen a critic comped.  Umm, no arsehole that steak topped with lump crab bearnaise, prosciutto wrapped asparagus and cheesey mashed potatoes isn't exactly making the kind of money it should at full price.
 
2014-03-11 04:08:51 PM

mama2tnt: stonicus: As for #4, as a customer, I don't really give a shiat what effort went into making the food.  If it sucks, it sucks, I don't care how much work you put into it.

I once tried pacifying my sister about horrible service at a place. "Maybe they're understaffed...," etc.

A former executive steward for a massively expensive hotel chain, she told me that if they're understaffed (or underANYthing) they shouldn't open. "If they can't give full service, that's on them to do better, not on us to be more understanding."

/Fat.


Boy I wish more people had that attitude towards software.
 
2014-03-11 04:15:48 PM

vudukungfu: 1) Never eat at a new joint. Give them a year to work out the kinks. If they have advertising money, and they better, to survive, they will have at least one year of steady clients good or bad. One year let's them get in a groove, iron out rough spots, and get the rhythm going.

2) Line out the door? Can be an indication it's good. Can also be an indication that they recently got a mess of publicity from a food writer, who may or may not know squat about food.

3) I know some food writers. I would not allow them near a kitchen, let alone attempt to cook for me.

4) If a place is truly good, I'll go and spend $$$ and tip very well, and enjoy myself.

5) If a place is truly bad, I'll give them a second chance. . . one.

6) Screw the food writer's and eat where you like, different strokes and all. I mean, my Christ, some of you put french fries and Cole slaw on your sandwiches, and stuff. What ever trips your trigger, I guess.

7) It's all about who is using the correct ingredients, and sanitation practices, and has skills.

8) Most food writers are frustrated English majors who want to be poets, but instead pull up a thesaurus and describe food they are eating as if they can't just take a farking pic of it like everyone else.

9) List list has no particular order or purpose.

10) Try the veal. I'll be here all week.


11) If the restaurant staff eats there or take friends/relatives there on nights when they're NOT working, it's probably a good indicator that the place is clean and well-run.
 
2014-03-11 04:16:46 PM

stonicus: I'd eat them, and tell you if I liked them or not, and not care what you did to cook them. Water World was one of the most expensive and hard to make films ever. Their effort does not make up for the shiat product they delivered.


I'm reminded of what I once was told about Robert Parker: You read his reviews and all you'll learn is what wine he likes and which he doesn't.

I *hate* oaked Chardonnay. I have never met one that tasted of anything other than burnt marshmallow. If you ask me to review some big, oaky butter-bomb from Napa, I'm going to tell you that it's horrible. That doesn't mean that it's necessarily a bad wine. It may be the best example of California Chardonnay to hit the shelves in 30 years, it's just that I don't like it because I don't like that style of wine.

Similarly, if you order the fish terrine and find that you simply don't care for it, does that mean that the restaurant did a bad job? Not necessarily, but you saying that it sucks on your blog sure says to everyone that'll listen that the fault lies 100% with the restaurant.
 
Displayed 50 of 92 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report